| Author | |
amyable
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3798
|
| Posted: April 03 2006 at 12:34pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
I feel like I'm on the search for the Holy Grail - the quest for beauty in my home and in my life.
I had first heard of an "apostolate of beauty" from another homeschooling mom many years ago. She had just started wearing make up and dressing up on a regular basis and explained this was the reason - because not doing so turned people of from Christians and the Christian life. OK, I admit at the time I saw that as totally vain  and it turned me off from her and the group she was trying to get me to join.
Recently though I've started leafing through The Hidden Art of Homemaking by Edith Schaeffer. She talks often about beauty. There was a comment in the book about how the natives of a certain country were turned off by the missionaries' homes because "there was no beauty in them," and how could they be Christians and not have beauty in their homes?
I think I may be unconsciously rebelling against my upbringing. It was fanatically "neat" and looked nice, but the "heart" was gone from it. I wouldn't call it beautiful, because I did not feel any sense of joy when I was in it. But now my own home is so slap dash, on top of being quite tiny for 6 people (with very little storage space so *things* tend to be all over no matter how much we declutter). To change anything would cost money, and I can't get over the nagging feeling that to spend money on "pretty flooring" when children 10 miles away are hungry and have no homes is just wrong.
So my reason for posting is two-fold. To discuss how you see beauty - personal and in the home - as it reflects your Catholic walk, and to ask for HELP because I'm totally "beauty impaired." I don't even know where to start! But I do ache to have more simple joy and beauty in my life... even if it turns out it just has to be the low cost kind.
__________________
Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
abcmommy
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 09 2006
Location: Indiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 129
|
| Posted: April 03 2006 at 2:44pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am not a wise person and so bear with me. 
I like to look my best, which to me is neat and clean and trim in nice well fitted clothing(oops, my waist line has gotten away from me lately, so this isnt easy.) I also like to have my hair done and wear a bit of makeup, but that part slid away until I started wearing Bare Minerals powder makeup which just looks neat and only take a minute. My mil has used it for yrs and my friend convinced me to try it. My hair is messy, which bothers me.
Our house is always a little messy and lived in. Clutter is a problem. Materialism is something I havent battled well. We have too much stuff- and I want more  . My housekeeping is made more difficult bc of my hoarding of stuff. A lof of it is good stuff- like reading material, kids gear and etc but its still stuff in the way.
I do think christians battle a stereotype- long hair, long dresses, no makeup, plain looking... I definitely don't think its a good look for most women. Anyone who isnt very attractive almost always looks a bit of a frump in dowdy sacklike dresses and ratty long hair.
For me, I try to concentrate on looking neat and tidy. Not all made up and "hot" or whatever. I am not a supermodel and have no desire to play one on tv LOL. I just want to look as nice as possible in well made simple fairly modest clothing that fits me and my lifestyle- casual, but pretty. I want my home to be comfortable, clean and homey. And that does please God IMHO, bc its making the most of what we have without a lot of weird vanity or self obsession or being house proud.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lapazfarm
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 21 2005
Location: Alaska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6082
|
| Posted: April 03 2006 at 2:50pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I know what you mean. Our home is far from neat, and barely clean sometimes. But I do find that when I make the effort to beautify it a bit it does make the spirit lighter. I, like you and many others, am on a very tight budget and cannot for the life of me see spending money on frivolous things like decorative items. And I don't sew or do handicrafts like that, so anything would have to be storebought (total beauty impairment here, too).
So with that in mind I have shifted my focus on appreciating the beauty of the natural world. In order to facilitate this i am doing 2 low-cost things:
First:I am trying to simplify and declutter my home. Just the lack of clutter makes things more attractive, and I am very drawn to the beauty of simplicity. Plus, the less time I spend indoors cleaning, the more I can spend in the beauty of God's creation. I could never compete with that, anyway.
Second: I am trying, with spring approaching, to open up the house a bit, letting in sunlight and fresh air and as much of nature as possible. That always lends a cheery air.
Don't know if this is what you were looking for at all, but just the way I am trying, on no budget, to beautify our lives a bit.
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Rachel May
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 24 2005
Location: Kansas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2057
|
| Posted: April 03 2006 at 2:59pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
My husband and I were just talking about this on the way to church on Sunday! I have a hard time drawing the line between fitting in (so as not to make people go, "Yep, that's a homeschooling mother of 6") and vanity.
I've decided that for personal beauty, I'll allow my husband to dictate. He doesn't pick my clothes, but I do show him what I want and give him veto power. Same about eyebrow waxing, makeup, weight, and hairstyle.
No help with the house though. Neither he nor I are gifted that way and have never really had any money to dedicate to it.
__________________
Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Rebecca
Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 30 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1898
|
| Posted: April 03 2006 at 3:02pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Hi Amy,
As far as the house goes, I try to keep our home looking neat, welcoming and attractively furnished without spending an inordinate amount of money to do so. When we bought our home, we purchased a few pieces of furniture that we loved (We like Mission style as we have a bungalow) and built around it. Paint has been an inexpensive face lift for most of my rooms. We see things we like in catalogs and replicate them ourselves or at less expensive stores like Target. I think picture frames, a pretty set of curtains and some plants can make a room look more welcoming and beautiful without spending a whole lot. Our house is messier than I would like but, I am a perfectionist in recovery so it probably is not as bad as I think. Our home is on the small size (1400 sq. ft.) and it gets messy looking rather quickly.
I think it is important, as wives and mothers, to make our homes welcoming and as lovely as we can within our own means so it is a retreat and not a source of stress for our families. This does not mean we have to have the latest and most expensive but it does mean doing your best with what you have/can afford.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
amyable
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3798
|
| Posted: April 03 2006 at 3:36pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Rebecca wrote:
| Our home is on the small size (1400 sq. ft.) and it gets messy looking rather quickly. |
|
|
This brings up a side question -- we have 6 people in 1100 sq feet - no garage, tiny attic, tiny closets - how fair is it to attain beauty by getting rid of 95% of my children's books and toys?? I'm only half kidding!  I know I've gone over the edge when even our homeschooling stuff (books, games, and manipulatives) is driving me crazy.  I get anxious thinking just how much worse it's going to get when we hopefully add to our family...
__________________
Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Maddie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 27 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1804
|
| Posted: April 03 2006 at 4:34pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
abcmommy:
This is a little off topic, but I was considering buying Bare Minerals make up as I am so sick of the Walmart selection. Do you like it? Does it really work? Is it as expensive as Mary Kay? Does it only have the base or do they sell blush, mascara, etc?
Thanks!
__________________
~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lilac hill
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 15 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 643
|
| Posted: April 03 2006 at 5:40pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
amyable wrote:
I feel like I'm on the search for the Holy Grail - the quest for my beauty in my home and in my life.
... how the natives of a certain country were turned off by the missionaries' homes because "there was no beauty in them," and how could they be Christians and not have beauty in their homes?
. |
|
|
It is finally spring and I have branches to force in the house.
I usually do this earlier in the season, sometimes as early as the end of February.
Today I cut forsythia branches.
When I finally can clear the surface they rest on,right now my kitchen island sometimes in a bucket on the floor or fireplace hearth,( that said, with your 1100 square' buckets of flowers are probably not an option  ) .
Silly as it sounds, I am always "amazed" when we start seeing the signs and colors of spring. The end of winter is so long and outwardly dull.
Just an idea that heartens me this time of year. Fruit tree branches are good for forcing too. Piles of pine cones and my favorite rocks make interesting kitchen island arrangements set out with some of the girls' artwork.
Lately I have been on a decluttering thing too. I am just happier with less visual clutter, and I don't view the books we are reading or the artwork in progress as clutter--that is just living. The stray socks, unfolded,but clean laundry,dry dishes, and extra papers all have a place:it just is not on the couch, table or floor.
Would getting rid of some of the excess, at least excess of stuff that is out in plain sight, be helpful instead of the expensive flooring or other purchases that you are hesitant to make?
I think that the way magazines and home shows fail is that they make it hard for people, or maybe just this person, to see that each home is as different as the families that occupy it. It took me awhilie to realize that a home, IMO,should reflect the family and their lifestyle-children,Grandparents, books, animals, artwork, glitter, paper plate clocks,sports shoes lined up near the door,fishing poles and computer games, ..whatever.
__________________
Viv
Wife to Rick (7/83), Mom to dd#1(6/87), dd#2(1/90), and dd#3(6/94) in central PA.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MichelleW
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 01 2005
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 947
|
| Posted: April 03 2006 at 6:25pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
When I started on a beautifying my home kick 5 years ago dh informed me there was NO budget for it at all. I found a couple of Emelie Barnes books at the library about making your home beautiful on a budget, and those books really helped. My favorite book on this topic is Carol Jo Brazo's No Ordinary Home.
Some of the things I did were: use things in a different way. Without realizing it, I had amassed a collection of bird houses and I enjoyed making them with found pieces of barn wood or fence slats, etc. I used 4 smallish birdhouses as valance holders in my living room. I threaded a piece of wide checked blue and white gingham through them that I had in my fabric pile. No sewing. I just bunched it and threaded it through. Then I had the kids collect sticks for me and threaded those through above the fabric. I'm not explaining it well, but it is very cute.
My Living Room furniture broke in the move, so all I had in the living room was a blue wing chair and a green sofa. I looked around my house for blue and green things to try to tie these mismatched pieces together. Without realizing it I had collected a lot of green and blue things. That is why I HAD a blue chair and a green sofa. Because I basically liked these colors, I just hadn't tried them together in the same room.
The walls in my home are decorated with pictures of my children or pictures BY my children along with found objects (pressed leaves and flowers).
There is a centerpiece in the middle of the dining room table. Right now it is daffodils that the kids picked. I put them in a little mason jar with water and then put that in a little brown luch sack with the top folded down. It is simple, free and homey.
I keep the sheets smelling nice, the toys go in bins under the bed (what doesn't fit we give away or throw away, excpet legoes that live in the living room in bins and craft supplies that live in my craft cupboard). Book piles we walk around.
Start by taking a tour through your house and looking at things with new eys. Would something be better moved somewhere else? I love my house now. I am so thankful I had no budget. Instead now I am surrounded by things that are meaningful to me.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Leonie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2831
|
| Posted: April 03 2006 at 6:32pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I like to wear a little bit of makeup every day, even if I am home and to look neat and ( I hope) sort of attractive for the sake of my sons and my dh. I just think we all fell better when we make an effort with our grooming and I think we all respond better to people who do so. At least, thats what works here - but I may be shallow!
I think simple things can make a home have beauty - for example, a vase of roses on the table ( mine just died and have been removed). A colourful cushion scatterd on the sofa ( I am a colour person). re-arranging some of the furniture . Creating little nooks.
These require time more than money but make a little difference to our daily lives.
__________________
Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
amyable
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3798
|
| Posted: April 03 2006 at 6:44pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Leonie wrote:
| I like to wear a little bit of makeup every day, even if I am home and to look neat and ( I hope) sort of attractive for the sake of my sons and my dh. |
|
|
I hope I didn't come across as sounding like I think makeup is wrong or bad! Not at all. I wear it, especially when going out with dh or something.
I only brought it up because it tied in with my first hearing of the "apostolate of beauty" -- I was suspicious of the group this woman wanted me to join (in the opening post) and for her to all of a sudden change her looks drastically just made me even more suspicious! I'm over that now and understand more of what they were getting at.
__________________
Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Leonie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2831
|
| Posted: April 03 2006 at 6:50pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
amyable wrote:
I hope I didn't come across as sounding like I think makeup is wrong or bad! Not at all. I wear it, especially when going out with dh or something.
|
|
|
Not at all! I hope I didn't imply that - I just think that sometimes I might be shallow with always wanting things to look nice.
__________________
Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SaraP
Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 15 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 531
|
| Posted: April 03 2006 at 7:08pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Before I was married or had kiddos I taught in a Catholic girls' high school and one day one of my students sort of sidled up to me and shyly said, "You know Ms. Fox, we talk about your clothes."
She meant it as a compliment - they liked what I wore and liked/respected/identified with/listened to me a little more as a result - but it stuck with me because it drove home that how we look affects how people respond to what we say and I try hard to remember that . . . especially on occasions (like when I speak to marriage preparation groups) when I know I will have things to say that people may find hard to hear.
And I think the same is true of our homes. A nice, clean, comfortable home that we feel good about inviting people into and that people feel good being in is a wonderful asset for all kinds of ministry and evangelization even if it's just having someone over for a cup of coffee.
__________________
Mama to six on earth, two in heaven and two waiting in Russia. Foxberry Farm Almanac
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SaraP
Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 15 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 531
|
| Posted: April 03 2006 at 7:13pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I have a book out of the library right now titled The Emotional House that is good on this sort of thing. It's a little on the touchy-feely heal-your-emotional-wounds-through-interior-decorating side, but the author does have good ideas on organizing and decorating so that one's home RIGHT for everyone in the family.
__________________
Mama to six on earth, two in heaven and two waiting in Russia. Foxberry Farm Almanac
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Donna
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 25 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1151
|
| Posted: April 04 2006 at 5:27am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Leonie wrote:
| I think simple thigns can make a home have beauty - for example, a vase of roses on the table ( mine just died and have been removed). A colourful cushion scatterd on the sofa ( I am a colour person). re-arranging some of the furniture . Creating little nooks. |
|
|
I agree !!!!
I bring flowers home when I do my grocery shopping and put them on the kitchen island. For just a couple of dollars, they brighten up the room.
Also, I think beautiful art prints hanging on the walls add alot, and can be purchased inexpensively. I recently saw a Renoir at TJ Maxx, framed, for under $40.
Burning candles also makes my home feel warmer to me. I like walking in to a room that smells so good.
__________________
Donna
DH, Keven
Jason, Stevie, Marie, Jackson, Clara, and Aaron
Jacob, Sam, and Regina with God
Grandbabies Leigha and Elsie
Moments Like These
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mary
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 17 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 691
|
| Posted: April 04 2006 at 6:44am | IP Logged
|
|
|
what a neat topic! i have been thinking about this for a while - since i read the girlfriend's guide to getting your groove back and since finally hearing my dh when he suggested we keep the house nicer and could i please go and get some less frumpy clothes? i don't think it costs a lot to add beauty to your home or self, and i do think it's important. and clearly, my dh agrees with that. probably most men (who tend to be more visually oriented) would feel the same.
some things i have done:
i use the motivated mom's cleaning list to keep my house in order. she is like flylady-lite. i have been using her list for 3 years and my house is never magazine tidy, but i would not be embarrassed if you all stopped by.
i got the video 'organizing from the inside out' from my library. it really changed the way i organize my stuff so that i don't have piles of things lying around, waiting for homes. i regularly clean out and organize closets and drawers.
i like flowers on the table. they can be expensive and so this year, we are planting a cutting garden. i try to have some seasonal display on my front porch (pumpkins, mums, wreath, etc.) the prayer corner was also a nice touch in our home. the day i set it up, my dh noticed and admired it as soon as he walked in the door.
we pick up every day before dinner. my kids can earn a tv show while i make dinner and my dh is happy to come home to a clean house. it also frees me from not being able to focus on school during the day because i'm trying to keep the house up.
i'm not so good at making myself look good, but i'm trying harder! i have a friend who is always neat and tidy and i really admire that. i had been watching the 'what not to wear' show on tv and it helped me to pick clothes that look better on me. this is something i really needed to do because i kept thinking i'd buy new clothes when i got done having babies or got all the baby weight off. i recently bought some nice maternity clothes for this last trimester and am so much happier and feel better in them.
i'm another person using bare minerals makeup. i love the stuff. i think it covers well, and it doesn't feel like you are wearing makeup. maddie, if you are interested, you can get a kit of the basics from sephora.com. it's enough makeup that i get compliments for looking nice but not so much that pple say 'hey you are wearing makeup!'
my hardest area of personal beauty is being fit. i think we look better when we are fit and certainly we feel better. too bad i figured this out after i kept 15lbs/child! i'm focusing on keeping the weight down this pregnancy and getting it all off (and then some) when the baby arrives.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Willa
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3881
|
| Posted: April 04 2006 at 7:13am | IP Logged
|
|
|
amyable wrote:
| I feel like I'm on the search for the Holy Grail - the quest for beauty in my home and in my life.. |
|
|
I think it is like a Holy Grail in a way... in that it's the journey that's a big part of the whole thing, not the arrival itself.
My mother in law has a talent for it and it's funny, because she can do the beauty thing with ANYTHING, it doesn't take money for her. She can take a bunch of odds and ends from a thrift store or from her family's attic and make it look like something from a magazine.... and she can do the same with expensive antiques.
I do not have a natural touch for this but I noticed today a couple of my sons have inherited a bit of it. My 13yo got into cleaning and reorganizing his room this morning. When he asked me to look at his closet, I was really impressed! one thing he'd done, I noticed, was to group similar objects together --- all his sports awards and mementos on one shelf; he had used long narrow boxes to "shelve" his books and video tapes below, his more "cluttery" objects like Lego pieces were in boxes off to the sides where they were less immediately visible. Besides simply grouping likeminded things, he had grouped them for visual effect -- one or two visually impressive things would have center stage and the others would be arranged around that primary thing. So there was a logical and visual flow to the whole effect. I notice these are some of the techniques my mil uses to make a busy, cluttered look also pretty and distinctive and orderly. There are probably others I haven't noticed -- it is definitely not something that comes naturally to me!
When we lived in a tiny 1000 sq foot with 6 people, I used under-bed space and hidden shelves and cupboards as much as possible. I also rotated stuff -- I kept some of the kids' things up in the attic for rainy days (we lived in Oregon then!!) These things helped me keep a bit of a streamlined look. I found that if the first step inside of the front door was fairly uncluttered and pretty, and the space right around my bed was a bit open (yes and we co-sleep and the whole bit so I'm not talking a complete refuge, just a visual breathing space away from piles and stacks) I could feel better about the rest of the house. Also, frequent tidy-ups were more necessary then -- now that we have a big house sometimes a mess will go undealt-with for several days just because I can avoid that part of the house!
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Leonie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2831
|
| Posted: April 04 2006 at 7:23am | IP Logged
|
|
|
mary wrote:
i like flowers on the table. they can be expensive and so this year, we are planting a cutting garden. |
|
|
Oh, yes, whenever we move ( often!) we plant some sort of flowers so we can have flowers to pick for the table, as soon as is possible.
We also used to have indoor plants and they looked nice on the dining table as a centrepiece or in the sitting room.
__________________
Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
momwise
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 28 2005
Location: Colorado
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1914
|
| Posted: April 04 2006 at 8:44am | IP Logged
|
|
|
MichelleW wrote:
| I used 4 smallish birdhouses as valance holders in my living room. I threaded a piece of wide checked blue and white gingham through them that I had in my fabric pile. No sewing. I just bunched it and threaded it through. Then I had the kids collect sticks for me and threaded those through above the fabric |
|
|
Michelle,
I think I would like your house very much!
This is a great topic. My mom can do stuff like this. In fact in one of her downstairs rooms she put 2 rings above the window and threaded a fringed chair throw through them for a valance. In her guest room she hung antique baby clothes from old hangers on the wall. Anytime I try something like that it just looks odd.
I do decorate in my own way though. I like faux painting and have tried a few things with that over the years. Our current house has a lot of light oak trim and cabinets so I'm going to go with a warm honey color paint; I hope it will give a warm and relaxing feeling.
My dh has to look at things and see order and open space. It's been a great source of tension in the past. But I've finally given over my heart to trying to please him in this area and we've made a lot of progress with clutter, organization and neatness. We also pick up and work on our chores in the 3-4pm hour. Books are still a problem .
I saw a magazine that showed books as decorations; they were in piles and displays here and there, so I laughingly showed my dh....see, we're chic!
__________________
Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Genevieve
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 02 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 529
|
| Posted: April 04 2006 at 9:07am | IP Logged
|
|
|
about make-up... when i put it on, i'm always afraid to snuggle up with my kids. i fear the makeup especially lipstick would get all over them. am i paranoid or do i not have the right type of make up
__________________
Genevieve
The Good Within
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Beauty
