| Author | |
Anonymous
Forum Pro
Joined: Jan 21 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 147
|
| Posted: July 04 2009 at 3:43pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
My dd who is now 10 has been diagnosed loosely and not monitored at all with mood disorder not otherwise specified. She is on vacation with her grandparents, and I went in her room, not snooping, and found a journal that she had written. What I read floored me and I am at a total loss. I have a sister who is bipolar and I asked her to read the journal and she too is very concerned.
We have been trying to get help for my dd for the last 6 years and were always told there is nothing wrong with her. It is inconsistent parenting, she has add/adhd, she needs to go to school where they can help her (the socialization thing), and a number of other "reasons" for her behaviors. While I am saddened by what she has written in her journal to some degree I am relieved as I now have proof that there is a true problem.
I have an appt with our family dr to discuss some things before my dd gets home and then we will progress from there.
My question is about scheduling for our school. How strictly should we stick to a regular schedule? Should I make it before she gets home or should I wait and let her have input as to how the schedule should go? Should I make the schedule to include school or continue on a summer schedule and as we get closer to end of August change the schedule for school?
I am sorry if this is jumbled and rushed but I am just scrambling a what to do to help her. I was in tears to hear how sad my poor child is and how she feels I do not understand and I just yell at her. I feel so guilty and I wish she was here so I could just scoop her in my arms and tell her how I have tried to get help for her and I do understand and I will do whatever I can to continue to help her.
I will close now with a request for prayer as well as advice and wisdom.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MaryM
Board Moderator
Joined: Feb 11 2005
Location: Colorado
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 13104
|
| Posted: July 04 2009 at 4:18pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I can't help with the schedule suggestions, but I am praying for you and for your daughter.
__________________
Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Taffy
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 05 2005
Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1567
|
| Posted: July 04 2009 at 5:33pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I'm praying for you and your daughter, too. I am doubtful that you did anything to provoke these bad feelings - it's probably more due to her mood disorder than anything else. But I am sure that I would be concerned about what she wrote too.
I would suggest the lighter schedule if that's what your daughter will cope with. If she gets stressed with too much unstructured time you may want to implement a more rigid schedule right away.
But one thing I would strongly recommend is a LOT of scheduled exercise time. Not just nature walks, but maybe power walking, fast bike rides, Wii, Dance dance revolution, dancing (especially fast dancing), mountain climbing, horseback riding (with a lot of emphasis on horsemanship - stuff like cleaning stalls, grooming, etc), any activity that will work up a good sweat. Swimming is good too if she doesn't like to sweat. I know from experience how important exercise is to stable moods (and I really need to follow my own advice on this too  ). It's something you can do right away and certainly won't hurt.
Definitely do not humor her low moods. When she's feeling low, work extra hard at getting her active (which I'm sure is just so easy to do - NOT!).
I'm glad you're seeking medical help, it's a good first step. But, as I'm sure you are all too aware, any medication needs to be approached very cautiously and HEAVILY monitored.
And again, I'm keeping you in my prayers. You, your daughter, and your husband. Dealing with this kind of thing is SO hard. But you can get through it.
And, before I go, I'll just emphasize that activities such as horseback riding, music, and dancing are also very therapeutic. I had been involved in therapeutic horseback riding for many years and have seen some great results with people having mental stress (including myself - working with horses really teaches one to control their temper for instance  ). Anything involving music is also very soothing too. Good luck!
__________________
Susan
Mom to 5 on earth and 1 in heaven
Susan's Soliloquy
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Milehimama
Forum Pro
Joined: July 16 2008
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 202
|
| Posted: July 04 2009 at 5:55pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I have an 11 yo son with a bipolar dx. We've had the official label for a few years, but he's always been that way.
There are a lot of meds and therapies that can be helpful, but it's hit or miss for each individual child - what works great for one can be a disaster for another!
I'm on a great (secular) message board for parents of bipolar kids, PM me if you want more info. Also we treat our son w/o prescription meds (also PM or email me if interested in the details, mommyjo2 at yahoo).
I recommend a book called "Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart approach" by Howard Glasser. It's about how to help difficult children without making them feel like you hate them/are always yelling/etc. He has a rather elaborate discipline system that didn't work for us, but I really appreciated the insight and other helps.
As for scheduling your daughter, YOU are her mother. Do you think she'd want to have some input on the schedule, or does she have trouble making decisions? Does she suffer from initial withdrawal (hating/saying no to new things, no matter what) or would she like to have everything set up for her? Trust your instincts!
In our case, we school year round with long breaks, because my BP son has a very hard time remembering things. We've been off for 4 weeks because of the new baby and I think it may already have been too long! Each child is different, though.
You'll be in my prayers!
__________________
Milehimama in Houston
Mother of 11 - 8 Church Militant and 3 Church Triumphant
Mama Says
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
KauaiCatholic
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 25 2009
Location: Hawaii
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 535
|
| Posted: July 07 2009 at 2:28am | IP Logged
|
|
|
PRAYING FOR YOU!!!
__________________
 Viviane
Grateful mama of Jonah Augustine ('01), Sophia Marie ('05) and Luke Dominic ('10)
We can do no great things; only small things with great love. -- Blessed Teresa of Calcutta
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
4 lads mom
Forum All-Star
Joined: Sept 26 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1944
|
| Posted: July 14 2009 at 3:49pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am short on time, but having had a child with mood issues, I am saying "ditto" to Susan....well said!! DON'T beat yourself up, please....in the end, it does no good....you are the mother chosen by God to care for this sweet girl, He will never abandon you as you seek care, turn her over to the Blessed Mother every day.....I also like asking Leonie Martin, the Little Flower's older sister, for intercession. She isn't a recognized saint, but I am sure she is up there....and Leonie really struggled at times!!
Please know many of us have been there....and we are praying hard for you and your family!!
__________________
Mom of four brave lads and one sweet lassie
Scenes From This and That
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: July 14 2009 at 4:42pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
No advice but I am praying for you.
Hugs
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
melanie
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 563
|
| Posted: July 14 2009 at 10:20pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
My 9yo is bipolar. He's our nephew, but we are raising him and he's been with us for 3 years now. It is so very frustrating to homeschool and parent him sometimes. But I sure can't imagine him in school. Anyway, the schedule is a mixed bag. My nephew doesn't like sticking to a schedule, but he needs it. I would say the biggest thing for us is to watch things that trigger his bad moods to come on...hanging out with certain people, certain kinds of computer games, etc...he tends to be very obsessive about things and anything that he can get himself too worked up about ends up being...not good. It's a doozy of a diagnosis, but take heart. Some of my favorite people are bipolar...including my mother and my grandfather.
__________________
Melanie
homeschooling Maria (13yo), Kain (10yo), Jack (5yo), Tess (2yo), and our newest blessing, Henry Robert, born 4/23!
slightlycrunchycatholic.blogspot.com
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
hsmom
Forum Pro
Joined: Aug 24 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 253
|
| Posted: July 15 2009 at 5:46am | IP Logged
|
|
|
You've already gotten some really good advice, I just wanted to add that as far as scheduling I usually ease into it a couple of subjects at a time on a weekly basis. Finding a balance between workload and keeping the stress down is important. Stress reduction is really key in mood disorders. Also, consider having her vit d checked. One of dd's dr's did lab work and sure enought the vit d was low.
Exercise is very important as Taffy mentioned. We even keep a mini tramp in the living room.
Also sending prayers your way.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Special Blessings
Topic: proof found and advice needed
