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Cindy
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This was suggested on another list and I thought it might be fun to share here, too- if anyone is interested- :)
...........if anyone wants to, I would
LOVE it if we would share our own "where unschooling
lives" snapshots, not just snapshots of what you are
doing, but snapshots of the connection between you and
your children as it happens.
As soon as my kids get up today, I am going to keep
myself aware of where and how the unschooling lives
and breathes in this home, and I will share it later
this afternoon. I've always thought of unschooling as
being something organic, alive, moving and breathing
in our home, rather than just something we "do".
It would be great to be able to log back in here and
see all those shiny unschooling moments from all of
you too! ................
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Cindy in Texas
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Willa
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Here's Cay's journal starter questions from another thread to help anyone get started --
Each night ask yourself:
What interests did they pursue? What rabbit trails did they follow? What opportunities did they approach you about? What things did they look for under the tree or write down on their Christmas list (that'll give you a big 'hint' of where their interests lies)?
We seem to do a lot of education through conversation! Today I've talked with them, or heard them talking about:
--How to do LOTR as a musical (complete with impromptu songs from Sauron, the Balrog, Merry & Pippin, etc based on the musical CATs, and Veggietales song)
--How to get dubbed as a knight and why the US doesn't have knights.
-- various topics inspired by my 12yo son receiving a letter from a friend of his
Presently my 12yo and 15yo are writing letters to friends, and my 6yo was just showing off his phonics skills to his Daddy -- "A is for Aidan, P is for Paddy, L is for Liam, D is for Dada."
-- my 12yo just asked "How do you spell Chuzzlewit?" That's because they are watching the
BBC version with their dad at nights, 1 hour per evening.... courtesy of Netflix 
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Willa
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Cay Gibson
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Cindy,
I just blogged one of my dc's personal *connections*. I found her at the computer doing this with no advance prompting from me. Who would think to study an atlas and draw flags during the Christmas break?
An unschooler, I guess. Or, I'm more likely to label us as relaxed home schoolers. Learning should be a relaxing endeavor. Afterall, if you aren't relaxed, you're stressed, and that's not good.  Right? 
Certainly if I had *assigned it*, she would have balked.
Here's what she was doing:
Flag Work
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Cay Gibson
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Cay Gibson
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Willa,
This is the first I've seen of your blog. 
I'm anxious to check it out.
Cindy, I just found yours when you decided to stop "blogging".  I would have loved to have read more of your wisdom and adventures.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
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Willa
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| Posted: Dec 22 2005 at 8:43pm | IP Logged
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Cay Gibson wrote:
| Cindy, I just found yours when you decided to stop "blogging". I would have loved to have read more of your wisdom and adventures. |
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The exact same thing happened to me! and I feel the same about it, too!
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Willa
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Cindy
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Hi Willa and Cay!
I am excited to read your blog, too, Willa! Cay I will check out your connections and enjoy yours as well.
Well,I blogged for a few months (November was mostly the National Novel Writing Month progress) but stopped because I found I wanted to journal more personally that I should post on the internet  -- and didn't want to try and maintain two records.
However, I am finding that audience (however small it might have been) was a great impetus for me to write as my personal journal (on Word) is languishing! Oh well... as always trying new things to see what works..
I do like this blogging, though It is so fun to peek into the lives and get ideas.
Thanks for asking about it...maybe I will begin again. I must admit I really enjoyed it.
Cindy in Texas
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Cindy in Texas
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Cindy
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WJFR wrote:
Here's Cay's journal starter questions from another thread to help anyone get started --
Each night ask yourself:
What interests did they pursue? What rabbit trails did they follow? What opportunities did they approach you about? What things did they |
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These are neat questions to becoming aware of what the kids are up to... Willa I enjoyed hearing what your kids are doing!
I have on and off journalled what they do, and like you, find the conversations to be key. I find they are hard to journal, though- harder than something tangible, like a chapter read or a class taken, etc.
I also liked the way this mom put the question..
"not just snapshots of what you are
doing, but snapshots of the connection between you and
your children as it happens."
She not only was looking for the things they did, but also what connections she was making with her kids throughout the day.
One example for me was that night I went and laid down with my 12yo as he went to bed and we snuggled with the dog and chatted. I asked his opinion about my blog- explaining to him what I posted above. He thought it over and gave me advice. He has a small blog that only a handful of friends read, and he talked about knowing they read helps him write more, how he keeps it personal, but appropriate for the Internet in case strangers read it by chance. He gave ideas and alternatives to a blog, suggestingm fir example, I write a newsletter and send it via email to all my friends.. , etc.
To me, that was a moment of connection, on a personal level (he was understanding my world and needs and giving advice from his experience) while also I was learning about him, his blogging and writing. I could put several entries in my journal from that: His discernment of writing on the Internet, his relationship with others, his writing and estimate time spent to count it toward "English", etc. (if I decide to do that... )
I see how intertwined what they *do* is with how we *connect*... it was fun to look for times we connect in addtion to tracking what they are doing and accomplishing.
Right now they are exploring the Civilization computer game... and I watch him play and listen to them talk.. and wow the connections to history and thought and the personal connections to each other and me as they explain what is happening.... !
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Willa
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Cindy,
I had trouble with the "connection" idea. I think it was Boswell, biographer of Samuel Johnson, who wrote that one of his best memories of his father was the day they fished together. Someone looked up his father's journal for that day which said, "Fished with J. Wasted day."
I guess the point is that we never KNOW, do we, what is connecting and what isn't? One of my dc, who will remsin nameless, told me yesterday that he was really glad that he was a more challenging type of kid. He said he knew he gave me, especially, a hard time in one point in his adolescence because he wanted to know WHY we had the standards we did, and whether or not they could be tweaked and compromised. So his way of finding out WHY was to argue and protest. My policy was to make all the compromises I could with non-essentials, stand firm on the essentials, but always be as courteous and sincere and honest as I could about WHY I wasn't changing the standards, and believe me, sometimes that was a lofty goal to reach!! Never realized what a tall order it might be!
But he said he will remember that when he has children; that kids make objections because they want to know in detail WHY, so they can understand and internalize the standards for themselves. He became the biggest supporter of some of our standards and rules and even takes them farther than we do, go figure!
Anyway, I thought that was interesting because at the difficult times we were discussing I would have thought I wasn't getting ANYWHERE with this child -- I used to go off and cry in my closet and say novenas -- but apparently, I was getting through after all.
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Willa
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Karen E.
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WJFR wrote:
Anyway, I thought that was interesting because at the difficult times we were discussing I would have thought I wasn't getting ANYWHERE with this child -- I used to go off and cry in my closet and say novenas -- but apparently, I was getting through after all. |
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What a fascinating thread, and I love this story, Willa. It's almost frightening that we often don't know exactly what's really on a child's mind.
As far as unschooling moments at our house lately, yesterday Em showed me nine words in Japanese calligraphy that she can now recognize. She's been teaching herself this, because of her fascination with the writing. She does all kinds of Japanese copywork, simply because she loves it! It's fun and interesting to her, and she knows more about Japan, its writing and culture than I ever will, from all of her self-initiated reading.
It's fun to see.
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Karen E.
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P.S.
On blogs: Cindy, even though you've stopped, could I have the url to read your archives?
Willa, I love yours, too. What a good idea to set up different blogs in order to categorize. I thought the category thing was a limitation with Blogger, but you've skipped nicely around that limitation.
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Karen E.
mom to three on earth, and several souls in God's care
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amyable
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I wasn't too good on the "connections" part, but here is our unschooling day so far. It's the first entry in my blog (not the one linked in my signature, I don't think I could haiku a whole morning although I did try part of it )
Our morning
Since my oldest is only 8 much of our unschooling looks like play to the uninitiated - like my relatives! I don't tell them about our unschooling days .
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Cindy
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WJFR wrote:
Cindy,
I had trouble with the "connection" idea. I think it was Boswell, biographer of Samuel Johnson, who wrote that one of his best memories of his father was the day they fished together. Someone looked up his father's journal for that day which said, "Fished with J. Wasted day."
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Hi Willa-
Well, I think that we never know all the connections that our kids make...with us or with learning. But, I think some we do... don't you? Especially when the kids will talk about them and remember that day or small event.
What I started trying to be aware of, was not just to look at the output educationally that I see with unschooling, but how it is affecting our relationships, moments we might see that bond. Maybe also knowing there are many other moments we are not aware of.
Willa, I think story with your son *is* about connections, too. Not all connections are easy or seem positive on the surface. But they see how we handle them, when we are firm, when we relent- reminds me of advice I once heard that we have to keep our emotional tanks full to deal with the emotional instability of teens... I think they will remember that steadiness and there is connection in that.
My boys can be challengeing too, and one is particularly argumentive- he is a natural debator- one way of connecting is to take him seriously and not just brush him off; being firm is also being relational, don't you think?
I am reading Peggy Noonan's bio of Reagan and she talks about his mom. She was a devout Christian and talked about every setback in life as part of God's plan. So when Ronnie messed up, she was adamant that it was just setting the stage for things to come. He gives credit to her for his lifelong optimism. So, perhaps general parenting can form connections that we may not see for a long time.
Hope this makes sense...
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WJFR wrote:
Cindy,
I guess the point is that we never KNOW, do we, what is connecting and what isn't? . |
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Hi Willa--
Began thinking about this more and thought that we never really know what connections are made, but we never really know what they learn either.
Cm said with learning that we can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink... we can lead our children, set the stage with wonderful ideas, but it is up to them to make the connection to learn.
Perhaps this is an atmosphere type issue-- Cm talks about the atmosphere of the home, and one important part of that is the emotional atmospehre. If we promote mutual respect, listening to their ideas, encouraging their rabbit trails and debating them when they *need* that debate, , that is all part of giving them that atmosphere.
The alternative would be to shut down their ideas, take their debating personally, giving up on them finding those connections themselves, and feel we must control everything, which of course, is not possible.
I think that is one essence of unschooling that I appreciate-- is to really see that the child must make the connection- and encourage that, consider it valuable and real. Am I connecting with my child? Well, I think when they know I encourage their projects I usually am...just as when they respect and encourage mine.
Just as when I connect with my friend or my dh when we respect and encourage each other.
Maybe this is about keeping the atmosphere open to connections and see what happens?
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Karen E. wrote:
P.S.
On blogs: Cindy, even though you've stopped, could I have the url to read your archives?
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Hi Karen-
Well, I don't think I can get to them anymore... though I printed out a hardcopy for my binder. If I can I will send you the link.. thanks for asking!
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I'm enjoying this conversation . I'm not an unschooler by inclination, but I am still very aware of the importance of making those connections with my children and valuing their strengths and interests. Cindy, I was interested in your discussion with your 12yo about your blog. My 10yo and I have both set up blogs within the last few days - she saw me doing mine and wanted one of her own. We agreed under conditions - not publicly listed on blogger, just sending the address to certain friends, and writing in an internet safe way. We have had since had some good discussions about blogging and the internet in general . She has definitely hit a stage where she is developing interests (dance, music, computers), working on them under her own steam, and happy to talk about them. My 7yo, on the other hand, is drifting and I'm finding it hard to pin down any areas of enthusiasm to encourage. I think I need to spend more time actively focusing on her and seeing what clues I can pick up.
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Cindy
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amyable wrote:
I wasn't too good on the "connections" part, but here is our unschooling day so far. It's the first entry in my blog (not the one linked in my signature, I don't think I could haiku a whole morning although I did try part of it )
Our morning
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Hi Amy-
I enjoyed your 'our morning' post! Oh, I love Google, too. We use it all the time. Have you ever looked at Google Earth? That is a favorite here, too. We also like Wikapedia a lot..
I saw a lot of connecting going on with your kids... maybe just the being present and following rabbit trails is it? I feel like I must not have 'splained connections too well in my post.
Are you blogging now or still on break.. ? I saw what you wrote about it on your blog. I had some of the same issues you posted about.. spending a lot of time on it, etc. But I found it it be a very creative outlet for me. Then my boys started their own blogs and I always like it when they find more outlets for writing.
Sometimes you wonder if anyone is really reading my blog... you know?
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Kathryn UK wrote:
| I'm enjoying this conversation . I'm not an unschooler by inclination, but I am still very aware of the importance of making those connections with my children and valuing their strengths and interests. Cindy, I was interested in your discussion with your 12yo about your blog. My 10yo and I have both set up blogs within the last few days - she saw me doing mine and wanted one of her own. We agreed under conditions - not publicly listed on blogger, just sending the address to certain friends, and writing in an internet safe way. We have had since had some good discussions about blogging and the internet in general . She has definitely hit a stage where she is developing interests (dance, music, computers), working on them under her own steam, and happy to talk about them. My 7yo, on the other hand, is drifting and I'm finding it hard to pin down any areas of enthusiasm to encourage. I think I need to spend more time actively focusing on her and seeing what clues I can pick up. |
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Hi Kathryn-
That is fun about your dd and the blog. Glad she is enjoying it. My boys watched me work on mine for a while....it percolated for a while, then one day they decided to start theirs. Like you all, they don't advertise it and only 2 or 3 friends have the address. Isn't it fun to see your dd find her voice? I have seen that.. esp with the graphics they can add, ... etc.. they can really set their own tone --- fun.
It has been a real life learning experience in itself-- about being Internet safe, etc. My 12yo gave me lots of advice about that.
I know when mine were younger, I kept waiting for an 'interest' to stick with them. But I got some advice that helped- that there is no reason for a child to narrow, especially at that age. All the bits and pieces are helpful for them to explore. Sometimes the drifting is important, especially at that age. The trivium relates here... they are still in that first stage of gathering ideas...
I find as mine got older I wanted them to drift and explore *more*, as they were locking in on narrow intersts.... when they were younger I wanted them to stop drifting and lock in and go deep. Never happy, I guess. lol I think there is value in both.
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Willa
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Cindy,
I was thinking about this, too, a bit more. I guess Boswell's father, if it WAS him, should have known that just his time and "being there" for his son, had at least a chance of being a connection for his son, even if it hadn't seemed to take. CM talks about planting seeds, and maybe we plant relationship seeds and open up our world for our children by spending time with them, even if it doesn't always seem like it. So that's my "connection" with what you said about relationships being like learning....good point.
Yes, I do think being firm is relational, sometimes, and sometimes I ponder it in regards to unschooling. I wonder where in unschooling there is room for firmness. When I'm "schooling" I can be firm about academic requirements, while being flexible about how we meet that. When I'm unschooling I feel like I'm not standing on the same "firm" ground, somehow?
I have to find a way to define unschooling that fits in with how I think of what education is about.
Though in trying it(unschooling) I've become aware that in some ways previously, before giving unschooling this extended try, I've been trying to do surgery with a hammer, or pound nails with a scalpel, or something.... In other words, the tool of structuring academics isn't always suited to my REAL goals, of forming virtue and having my children internalize the WORTHINESS of intellectual pursuits. It's actually easier to instill these things directly, by talks and interest and relationships, than by checklists and so on and hoping it will sink in indirectly. Perhaps that's a bit of a DUH moment for you unschoolers, but it has been rather surprising and unexpected for me!
Another "connection" glimpse, though in this one I'm not a direct participant -- my teen daughter has taught her little brothers -- ages 3, 6, and 9 -- a whole repetoire of songs -- ballads, songs from musicals, all sorts of things -- MUCH more than I would have assigned as schoolwork. SO EASY and no pain!
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Willa
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amyable
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Cindy wrote:
Hi Amy-
I enjoyed your 'our morning' post! Oh, I love Google, too. We use it all the time. Have you ever looked at Google Earth? That is a favorite here, too. We also like Wikapedia a lot. |
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Dh loves Wikapedia and Google Earth. He loves to "fly" from one place to another while making sound effects for the girls Call me simple but I love the fact that we can see our own car in the street and the neighbors pool!  Dh uses it for more lofty pursuits than me so far...
Cindy wrote:
I saw a lot of connecting going on with your kids... maybe just the being present and following rabbit trails is it? |
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If that is it, our life is one BIG rabbit trail when I let it be. I'm sure you explained fine - I'm just quite dense in these matters.
Cindy wrote:
Are you blogging now or still on break.. ? I saw what you wrote about it on your blog. I had some of the same issues you posted about.. spending a lot of time on it, etc. But I found it it be a very creative outlet for me. |
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Well, I'm officially off the break, but I'm hoping to go back to it with new discipline as far as when/where/what I write. And I definitely have to get my mind off of what a popularity contest blogs can be. I don't *want* to treat it as one but yes, I do get upset when I feel like no one cares about what I wrote. I have a hit counter so I know a certain few people do visit, but don't care to (or have the time to) say anything. For my little gift to cyberspace I try to say something every time I visit a blog of someone I "know". (I'm too shy usually to just jump right in and comment otherwise )
Well, it's 2 in the morning here, I'm up with a wakeful baby but I guess I should try to get her back to sleep. Thanks for reading my blog! It's fun to share and be heard, even though I'm more a friendly chatter than a great writer.
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Topic: Unschooling Moments
