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mumofsix
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| Posted: July 30 2006 at 2:51pm | IP Logged
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Dear Lisa,
We experienced something similar late last year. I have sent you a private message. I am praying to Saint Joseph for your peace of mind. It DOES get better, although I know that this level of malice really does knock you for six, at least for a while.
God bless you.
Jane.
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saintanneshs
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| Posted: July 30 2006 at 5:34pm | IP Logged
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Lisa,
I am so sorry you had to go through such a trying ordeal. It's scary to think what one phone call to the wrong person in charge can do to a family! I think dh and I'll stop making those sarcastic jokes, "Well, Child Services would love to see this..." It's not funny at all anymore and I'm sorry I ever made them to begin with. I guess it's just a sign of how comfortable we are out here on the farm, never thinking something like this can happen. We will pray that you'll have new neighbors soon, one way or another! And know you are not alone 
I just wanted to ask, since you brought it up in your first posts (about doing things backward), what exactly should we do if a social worker shows up at our door? Are there some sort of steps we're supposed to follow?
I'm off to check out HSLDA's website again and maybe join this time...
__________________
Kristine
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Leonie
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| Posted: July 30 2006 at 6:10pm | IP Logged
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I am so sorry to hear this and will say a prayer.
I know I always feel very visible - we have moved frequently and someone with seven boys who didn't go to school was always noticeable.
__________________
Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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ladybugs
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| Posted: July 30 2006 at 6:45pm | IP Logged
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We will pray for your home to sell quickly.
This man must be affected by your family and he doesn't like this conscience prick. We will pray for him, too.
So sorry.
__________________
Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: July 30 2006 at 7:04pm | IP Logged
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I am so sorry to hear about this; how very scary. It seems ridiculous that you can't freely make choices about family size, etc. The thing that really gets to me is when people assume you are not watching your children. How do they know when or how often you look out the window to count noses, be sure there is no problem, etc.?
I have had neighbors who, although they did not alert any authorities, talked to everyone else about the fact that my children were playing outside without my being there (again, they did not know or have any way of knowing that I was checking on them every 5 minutes, and they were 15 feet from my front door, as well as being with other older siblings). One of these neighbors also told another neighbor, after we had moved away, that she had practically raised my children. In fact, none of my children remembers ever having had a conversation with this woman!
Sadly, in our fallen world, there are spiteful and ugly and highly judgmental people. I am sorry that one of them took things to this extreme with you.
I will certainly pray for you and for this situation, including that your homes sell soon and that where you move is more congenial.
Peace,
Nancy
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Martha
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| Posted: July 30 2006 at 9:35pm | IP Logged
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hmm, very interesting..
you see I'm in the opposite ring...
everyone in my area NEVER watch their kids. i mean 4/5 yr old w/o siblings 2, 3, 4, blocks away from home barefoot and playing with whoever, whatever for hours at a time even until 10 pm at times. And this is the little kids! It is completely normal in my housing addition for kids to be brought home by police and no one thinks anything of it. ("aren't the local police just the nicest bunch of men for doing that for us?"  )
everyone in my area thinks I'm a horrid mother for not letting my kids so much as check the mail at the curb without permission and me standing in the door. The older 2 boys have only been allowed to ride their bikes out front alone just recently and they can only go about 2 houses in either direction from us so I can see them from the front window. they just can't understand why I don't want my kids to hang with all the delinquents. 
prayers for you being sent
it must have been a heart dropping and nauseating time for you I'm sure. 
__________________
Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: July 30 2006 at 9:39pm | IP Logged
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Dear Lisa,
I am hurting so much for you, brave mother. You must be a real threat.
I don't know what to say right now....sigh....I just feel so sad for you...and yet an older Titus 2 mother years ago said to me---and it obviously made an impression on me!---, "you should never want to take someone's suffering away".....painful to hear. But her point---you'd be taking away their graces. (I hope that isn't misinterpreted. I OFTEN want my sufferings taken away.) JUST KNOW you have been persecuted and reviled for Christ's sake and you are *one* with Him right now, and your reward will be great in Heaven. He loves you very, very much. Your pain is powerful.
Praying for your strength and patience.
__________________
God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Lisbet
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Thanks everyone, for the prayers and encouraging words. Nina, I totally understand what you are saying, and I am constantly looking for how I can glorify God through this whole ordeal.
Martha, I don't let my kids out of our yard either. We have a front porch with a locked gate on it, he complains of their noise when they are out there (during the day only) and our back yard is completely fenced and very small where they run barefoot and rowdy! :O) That's the problem, he complains about what they are doing in on our own property.
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Martha
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| Posted: July 30 2006 at 10:16pm | IP Logged
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Lisbet wrote:
| ) That's the problem, he complains about what they are doing in on our own property. |
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I know what you mean, mine complain currently because my kids are out back playing at 6:30 in the morning. Not loud fighting/crying - but 7 dc playing, kwim?
Well too bad buddy. It's been just way too hot to do anything after about 11:00am in the summer heat. So they eat breakfast and go play all morning. I have 6 young boys and I see no reason why we should have to suffer all that unburned energy all day, even the boys don't want to be out for more than 5 minutes at a time once the heat settles in. 
__________________
Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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momwise
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| Posted: July 31 2006 at 8:26am | IP Logged
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Lisbet wrote:
| That's the problem, he complains about what they are doing in on our own property. |
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Perhaps if he had more children he wouldn't have time to check on everyone else's.
One thing I miss about our old neighborhood was that it was full of large families. We weren't even the largest on the block; that distinction fell to a Hawaiian couple who had 19. Not only that, all the large families on our block had the original mom and dad.
Of course we had to move because of the violence and drug trafficking, but ironically that was coming from the fatherless teens and young adults.
Believe me, none of these other large families had the time or inclination to check if our kids were barefoot or not.
__________________
Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: July 31 2006 at 1:55pm | IP Logged
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Can someone please explain to me the relevence of being barefoot? Umm...I thought everyone went barefoot in the summer! At least around here it is practically a rite of spring to toss those shoes and wiggle those toes!
I think what you had to go through is inexcusable. What a self-riteous jerk your neighbor is (said with the deepest affection, of course )!
Seems every time I start letting thoughts creep into my head of wishing we had some neighbors for dc to play with I am reminded of the blessings to be found in solitude!LOL!
Here is hoping that it all works out. And remember:
"Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you (falsely) because of me. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven."
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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stacykay
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Lisa,
I am praying for your home to sell quickly and for there to be no further problems/fears with protective services no matter where you live, and for you to have wonderful neighbors, kind to your life's journey with your kiddies!
I had the scare of my life, yesterday, when we returned from lunch out. All came in, I ran in the bathroom, came out and couldn't find my 2 yo ds, anywhere! We searched the house, ran to the two neighbors the boys frequent (thinking he may have decided to visit on his own,)checked the car (first, actually, due to heat!) and then called 911. After I called, our neighbors returned home, and we told them of ds missing. The dear lady went into her house, and came out with my ds. He had entered through their doorwall and was waiting in the kitchen! (They give treats to my boys, daily, stickers, a bit of chocolate, etc, very grandparent-like!)
I was able to call 911 back and tell her we discovered our son, but the patrolman came by, (we were inside by now,) and he asked me to bring ds out, so he could see him. I relayed what happened, and all seems fine, but.... now I feel like we have a big X against us.
My 18 yo ds is out at this moment, searching Home Depot and BabiesRUs to find some sort of child-deterring door locks. Our 2 yo can open the doorwall (easily removes the stick in the track,) and the inside door to the garage, where he can also reach the garage door opener! The front door is too heavy, at least at this point, for him to open.
This could have happened with 1 or 8 children, but I feel like the fact we have more (6,) we are held to a higher standard.
My boys are outside alot- barefoot and whooping and hollering. We don't have a fenced yard  , so I am a bit more vigilant. We are fortunate to have understanding neighbors (at least I hope they all are!,) but now we have five who are moving (fortuantely not because of us!)
So, know that you aren't alone! 
With prayers,
Stacy in MI
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Meredith
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| Posted: July 31 2006 at 5:26pm | IP Logged
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Martha wrote:
hmm, very interesting..
you see I'm in the opposite ring...
everyone in my area NEVER watch their kids. i mean 4/5 yr old w/o siblings 2, 3, 4, blocks away from home barefoot and playing with whoever, whatever for hours at a time even until 10 pm at times. And this is the little kids! It is completely normal in my housing addition for kids to be brought home by police and no one thinks anything of it. ("aren't the local police just the nicest bunch of men for doing that for us?" )
everyone in my area thinks I'm a horrid mother for not letting my kids so much as check the mail at the curb without permission and me standing in the door. The older 2 boys have only been allowed to ride their bikes out front alone just recently and they can only go about 2 houses in either direction from us so I can see them from the front window. they just can't understand why I don't want my kids to hang with all the delinquents.
prayers for you being sent
it must have been a heart dropping and nauseating time for you I'm sure. |
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Martha, do we live in the same neighborhood??  This constantly astounds me!
Praying for peace of mind in this tough situaion!
__________________
Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
Sweetness and Light
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: July 31 2006 at 7:06pm | IP Logged
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Lisa, I am sorry for what you are going through. Praise God that you encountered a reasonable social worker.
We have been very fortunate. In the house we moved out of last year, we really only had two neighbors to worry about even noticing our kids. On one side was a social worker married to a school teacher. We were so nervous moving in when we found out. But they turned out to be really nice and supportive of homeschooling. Our other neighbor was an elderly widow who just loved the children. She would always tell me how nice they were (even to each other!), and that it must come from homeschooling. She would always bake for them and invite us over to sit with her outside. It was heartbreaking when we had to tell her we were moving.
Now we live on five acres, completely removed from the road. Only one neighbor can ever even see us and the kids have complete freedom to run around the yard and driveway.
I hope you can sell soon and get out. The house next door to us just went on sale. How about moving to Virginia?
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Donna Marie
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teachingmyown wrote:
I hope you can sell soon and get out. The house next door to us just went on sale. How about moving to Virginia? |
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Ooh...can I come too?? I have to say that this is my worst fear and in parts it has been bothering me for a long time. I would love some acerage for the kiddoes to run and be a bit removed from wagging tongues and prying eyes that see not.
I have a dear friend (who also homeschools) in Ft. Valley and her sister in Front Royal that tell me to come on down...some days I am tempted!! What is it like in the homeschool capital of the U.S??
__________________
God love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 9dc!!
Finding Elegant Simplicity
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momwise
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| Posted: July 31 2006 at 7:18pm | IP Logged
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lapazfarm wrote:
| Can someone please explain to me the relevence of being barefoot? Umm...I thought everyone went barefoot in the summer! |
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I don't know Theresa--my dear Grandma would be spinning in her grave. I've heard she posted a prayer to the Guardian Angels each day because you see, she didn't see her 5 boys pretty much from sunup to sundown and I don't even think they were always safe at home after sundown.
Shoes? This was the Depression...a large percentage of American parents lined them with cardboard, newspaper, or anything that would keep the rain and snow out. You just didn't wear them if you didn't have to.
Now turn this on its head: Why couldn't you call Social Services and report that your neighbor's children have never had the pleasure of running barefoot, playing freely without adult intervention (well o.k. they're 1 & 4 but wait a couple of years) their creativity is stifled and they aren't allowed to SOCIALIZE!! with the neighbor kids??
__________________
Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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aussieannie
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Lisa, I am sitting here (on the other side of the world) and SHAKING MY HEAD in utter disbelief and disgust! We live in a world where black is white and white is black and it is as simple as that! What we are all trying to do is correct these imbalances, starting with effecting the lives of the future - our children - the devil knows this only too well.
We had terrible neighbour troubles years ago - it is a most shocking and stressful event (and would scale high in life's stressors) - you feel like your precious home is no longer a haven with such terrible things to contend with a few metres away...we nailed Miraculous Medals on every major post of our fence line and sprinkled blessed salt into the next door neighbours yard, we prayed that they would move - and it happened very soon after, in the most dramatic of circumstances (the mother's defacto ended up in jail for 7 years for his crimes against her - very sad - and not at all how we would have liked to seem them leave!) but through that crisis we supported her in a way others in the neighbour hood didn't - very interesting turn of events!
May Saint Joseph come to your aid speedily! (and I am sure he will. )
__________________
Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
Blessed with 3 boys & 3 girls!
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MarilynW
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I went to my sister's birthday party yesterday and was talking to a Catholic School teacher. Her first question when she was introduced to my children was "Are you done yet"!! When she found out that I was homeschooling she asked how I did it with 4 children. She went on to tell stories about how she believed that families with many children always neglected the younger ones - and then went on to tell stories from school about how nobody looked after the youngest children in her class. I felt so sad - that a practicing Catholic - teacher in a Catholic school - would be so against a culture of life.
Marilyn
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Martha
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oh geez. I've heard it from CCD teachers too. How ANY school teacher can have the nerve to make comments about the possiblity of under educated or neglected children in homeschooling catholic families is beyond me... It doesn't say much for their own thinking abilities, imho.
If any of my 8 dc were to have such a problem, it sure wouldn't occur to me that a classroom (which I bet isn't going to have less kids) with a non-family teacher (of which I doubt there is going to be more than 1) would be any better of a place for them.
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Against big families
