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Nina Murphy
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But it does get tiring trying to calm the "fears" of the social workers on the team.  I just try to remember that they are trained to help the families try to solve the "problems" of their circumstances. If they are problems that need to be solved or not is part of the frustrating question for everybody! 
[OH, it is true that times can get VERY overwhelming (and sad,  )----as Elizabeth is now experiencing, and that is why WE need to be here/there for each other as a Catholic community. We are the best helpers for each other with our prayers and support (and practical help, as well). None of you or my parish friends ever make me feel guilt that I am not attending sufficiently to my children or that our family isn't *enough*. Thank you!!!!!!  ]
Thank you, Elizabeth, for this Forum. Remember you have spiritual enemies trying to derail you! 
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Elizabeth
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I've spent the better part of the past few days writing a "plan" tailored specifically to him. I thought I always did this for each of them every year. Now, I recognize that we could get even more tailored. It's a good exercise--looking at each of them very, very closely and "prescribing" accordingly--and one I'm oging to do for everyone. It goes back naming the need and then finding the resources. So often, I think we do things backwards--we see resources that are so appealing and figure out which child or children can use them.
It's been a long time since I've felt so defensive about home education. If you spend enough time surrounded by people who choose to educate their children at home and who support home education, you begin to think that everyone is so enlightened . I fully admit to being astonished at how ignorant the very educated evaluator is.Now, I have a mission: to give her an education about real education  .
Say a prayer for those few psychologists and educators who really get it--I thank God for people like Angie's dh, Dave, who are uniquely called to be salt and light in an increasingly humanistic field.
Nina, I the phrase "curriculum of love" and hope to quote it often. I've received quite an education in recent days about just how complex the world of "disabilities" is. I know many of you pretty well and I've heard your stories before, but what I've learned in the past few days is just how hard you're working all the time, to benefit your special blessings. I'm pretty humbled by you. You are so knowledgable, so wise, and still so tender, despite having to be real warriors out there on behalf of your kids. Amazing...really...
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Angela F
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Elizabeth and all,
I just wanted to pipe in and say that even though I've not gone through any evaluations with any of my dc, I have learned sooo much from reading this thread. It is amazing the wonderful effect you all and all of your collective experiences and thoughts have in my home and homeschool. I am grateful for that.
Prayers for you, Elizabeth and family, for all evaluators and for those that are "evaluated."
God bless,
Angela
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Mom to 7 blessings - welcome to Hanna Clare 1/19/10
"‘Great’ holiness consists in carrying out the ‘little’ duties of each moment."
St. Josemaria Escriva
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Nina Murphy
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Yes, yes....and Amen.
Isn't it amazing how we different women from disparate backgrounds all found our way here to one another? To me, this is what the Body of Christ is all about. I don't always take the time to touch base with the Forum, but I always feel so much better when I do. I *feel* the Holy Spirit working here, and I'm not one of those who "feels" consolations often.
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Donna Marie
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Elizabeth wrote:
| Donna, I was kidding. I already have him teaching things to the little kids and reading aloud to them. His difficulties lie in visual processing--there are severe visual memory and visual-motor glitches, in addition to mathematics disorder and ADD. |
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LOL...so THAT is what those cute Emoticons are for... 
That is what I get for trying to post with a toddler crawling through one ear and out the other then trying to repel with my hair!
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God love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 9dc!!
Finding Elegant Simplicity
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Donna Marie
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Elizabeth wrote:
Donna,
I am wondering about the whole Montessori math route again. I gave up on Right Start because it was too teacher intensvie to do at so many levels. NOw, I"m revisiting it as a possibility and looking at Shiller as well. Do you have any familiarity with Shiller?
Also, Audioblox are marketed for dyslexics;does your dd have visual processing problems or auditory processing problems? |
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In all honesty, Elizabeth, IF I find something that works better than Right Start I will buy it! I am going nuts trying to do that for 5 people. I would LOVE for it to be written towards the student with just the mom looking over the shoulder approach. I am very curious about Shiller too...I love Right Start on many levels..but as a mom, I want more time left for me to be creative.
Audiblox is for many learning problems. My dd has audio and visual processing problems. She has some serious math issues as a result of this. I learned so much just by talking to Barb Little, and I bought the course. She was the FIRST person I ever talked to that seemed to KNOW my dd. There were many questions that I had about her learning behaviors and learning issues...she answered them all from a homeschool-friendly approach. She is very knowledgeable and uses it with her own child. She even has a yahoo group for this for further support! We are still in the beginning stages and it requires an hour a day from me...you do many different exercises...5 minutes or 10 minutes each. I have to be honest, I hated having to sit there and do it at first and literally had to sit on my hands. But, my dd seems to NEED this on so many levels. She feels relieved to have something that allows her to focus on her issues. It gets better using it...
BTW... When I asked Barb what math program she recommended she said, hands-down Right Start as it covered many of the areas my dd needed the most. My dd does have spelling issues that she says will get much better after her digit span goes over 7. That is based not only on experience but was said by the guy who developed some phonics program...maybe Phonics Tutor...but I am not sure now....We do own Phonics tutor...the cd's are available from timberdoodle
Right now she is using this on her own...no bells and whistles. Just plain text and a human voice. Finally, something she can do on her own without frustration.
I hope you find your comfort zone with this. I am finally starting to find mine. My dd is the most lovely caring and creative individual. I really do hate to have to see her struggle so much. But God has HIS reasons and I TRUST HE knows what He is doing.
I have to say, this group is great! I have not been able to speak of my dd's problem anywhere else. It is a comfort to find like-minded people!
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God love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 9dc!!
Finding Elegant Simplicity
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Donna Marie
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Elizabeth wrote:
Nina, I the phrase "curriculum of love" and hope to quote it often. I've received quite an education in recent days about just how complex the world of "disabilities" is. I know many of you pretty well and I've heard your stories before, but what I've learned in the past few days is just how hard you're working all the time, to benefit your special blessings. I'm pretty humbled by you. You are so knowledgable, so wise, and still so tender, despite having to be real warriors out there on behalf of your kids. Amazing...really... |
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AMEN! Nina! This is a BEAUTIFUL thought!! Maybe we are being called with these Special Blessings to a greater kind of love all around. I find the greatest struggles for me are when I think that the "homework police" are going to come a'knocking because we had a bad day. I try to over-compensate. I find the days I relax and just keep plugging away to be a more God-centered approach and it is most likely what He wants from me in the first place. It is just ME that keeps getting in the way. As a mom to 7dc I find myself to be challenged even without any "special blessing" issues. I think that the challenge is good...it is a call to love...a call "to the post"...and here I go...thanks for the encouragement!!
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God love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 9dc!!
Finding Elegant Simplicity
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Willa
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Nina wrote:
| And also, standing firm in the most gentle way possible, getting your husband involved as family representative if needed. I will never be able to convince people that I am able to provide a proper environment of care for my children in this homeschooling lifestyle. I've just decided to focus on the "curriculum of love" for my children, and leave it for God's Eyes and judgements. |
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Much richness here. You've already picked up the Curriculum of Love part. But just to bring out the "husband" as a family representative part of that.
The power of DH as family representative can hardly be over-estimated, I believe. Even when they can't be there physically, bringing them into any meeting as the implicit part of a team, relying on their perspective to bounce ideas and decisions off -- worth its weight in gold in steering through that "specialist" course.
My experience has been that DH and I work so well as a team, not VS. the medical and developmental specialists, but filtering their messages through in order to make the best decisions for our son.
My DH isn't an educational or medical specialist (I'm not either!) but he brings his perspective to the table and we can do the good cop, bad cop thing type thing and bring out the nuances of what the experts are saying, together, so much better than singly. While he listens, I can talk and vice versa. We process it together and bring our separate perspectives into it. When he can't be there I consult him or tell them I need to bounce things off him before making a decision. Without him it would be like trying to do things with one eye or one hand.
Those sacramental graces of matrimony have shone brightly in those matters that affect the physical and emotional well being of our son. We aren't necessarily talented at this kind of thing but God has given us graces, I suppose, because it's our particular province -- to raise and educate our child.
Hope this makes some sense, Elizabeth, I am typing with a crashing blood sugar  -- not for your reasons but because I have spent the day out and about and I can't bring myself to face dinner-making just yet...
Love that Curriculum of Love, too. That is a gem. Thank you Nina.
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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Nina Murphy
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Doesn't it just sum it all up----what we are all striving for? What gives us all Focus, and Purpose?!!!
I know, it is a gem of a phrase. I recently heard it used by David Albert when I was "researching" books on Amazon (I admit it: one of my favorite hobbies) and it just sank right in....but I don't think it is an original idea or radical thought. Think about it: what is "LEARN from Me, for I am meek and humble of heart?"---Jesus Himself designed the curriculum for us!! 
And it brings to my mind instantly how St. Therese decided her business would be the "science of love", and defined her future years this way.
I think of William Marra's comment (and I paraphrase), "If you do nothing with them but play cards with them, they're oh so much better off than away from you" that is so oft-quoted (although I'm sure I got it wrong!) by me and other moms when we are not getting "much done school-wise". We just beat ourselves up so!!! We have such a hard time doing it all. But do we have a hard time loving them? (Maybe when we're trying to do too much.)
And yet, we are pouring ourselves out for our children---choosing them, and they SEE this---they are LEARNing it. They are learning Love. The whole purpose of life. St. John of the Cross: "In the evening of life, we will be judged on love" (I think I got that one right).
This comes down, for me (because I have to re-motivate myself constantly), to asking myself the one most important question: WHY are we ultimately doing this? Besides believing that it is God's calling, obviously. (Because we can start to hear lots of "voices" in our heads and doubt that.) It's about RELATIONSHIPS.
If we implement the curriculum of love, our children will be perfectly educated because NO ONE else loves them like we do--Ha!
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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mom3aut1not
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Elizabeth,
I have been out of town until last night so I couldn't post any messages on this (or any) topic.
First of all, I hope your ds's eval is helpful. I never had one so large! Whew!
Secondly, I listened to an expert years that it was vital for my dd to attend and warned me that my dd would never live up to her potential if she did not. So I sent her to Preschool Spec Ed, and she had the worst teacher any of my children has ever had. She would have been better off watching tv all year.
At the end of her K year I decided to hs, and I do not regret it at all. If she were in ps, she would have to drop out or be in classes far, far below her ability. Perhaps we haven't done the proper CM curriculum or whatever, but whatever we have done is better than what she could have had elsewhere.
Trust yourself. I have visited spec ed classroom for middle school students. This same dd (two of my kids were visiting the classroom for SLT) saw some of the writing done by the students. She immediately pointed out that sentences have to start with a capital letter and must end with a period, a question mark, or an exclamation point. The teacher quickly shushed her, took her aside, and told her that these students were not to be taught these things. Spec Ed classrooms tend to have low expectations, and the curriculum is even less generous and rich than for "normal" kids. You have provided your son with a rich and generous educational diet he would not have gotten in a spec ed classroom.
I hope these few thoughts I have dashed off have been helpful and encouraging.
In Christ,
Deborah
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Elizabeth
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Well, I got back the "corrected" report. I'm happy to say that she has changed all the places where she called him the wrong name or referred to him as "she" or "her." She did not apologize for those mistakes, however.
As far as the other discrepancies and concerns, she stuck by her guns. Her mantra is "the numbers don't lie."
I questioned her evaluation of his writing ability. She wrote (and I quote, grammar mistakes and all):
<<In addition your son has a disorder of written expression. This is based on the discrepancy between his achievment and cognitive abilities. Further his written expression scores on the WJ-III and the OWLS indicate that he is performing in the deficit range. These tests are standardized and norm referenced. Although his anecdotal record including the blog he wrote reflects creativity and interest, his performance on the evaluation proved otherwise.>>
Bold and italics mine.
So, apparently, it doesn't matter how well you write or how creative you are or how passionately you read and write about something, if you bomb the test, you are neither creative nor interested.
I shudder to think of what was spent on these tests...I could have bought the classroom set of TOUCHMATH and we could have all shared it...
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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alicegunther
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Elizabeth wrote:
So, apparently, it doesn't matter how well you write or how creative you are or how passionately you read and write about something, if you bomb the test, you are neither creative nor interested.
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The flaws of educational bureaucracy in a nutshell.
Unbelievable.
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Love, Alice
mother of seven!
  
Cottage Blessings
Brew yourself a cup of tea, and come for a visit!
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Dawn
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Elizabeth, I'm so sorry this has been so frustrating (and costly) for you all. As Alice points out, this serves to illustrate the ineptitude of the educational system, especially when it comes to understanding the REAL learning capabilities and potential of our precious children.
As far as Christian's creativity and passion, let me just tell you, I have one 11 yo boy here whose socks have been completely knocked off by your son's writing and imagination.
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Dawn, mum to 3 boys
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MEBarrett
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Elizabeth wrote:
| Although his anecdotal record including the blog he wrote reflects creativity and interest, his performance on the evaluation proved otherwise.>> |
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This has to be one of the most stupid things I have ever encountered.
What you did was pay a lot of money to find out the evaluator's dminished capacity.
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Blessings,
Mary Ellen
Mom to seven beautiful kids
Tales from the Bonny Blue House
O Night Divine
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lapazfarm
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Mt son also is in awe of Christian's writing! He looks at him as an inspiration for his own writing efforts. So you can add that to your list of "descriptors" for Christian: Creative, interested, and inspiring.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Jen L.
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Crazy Evaluator wrote:
| <<Although his anecdotal record including the blog he wrote reflects creativity and interest, his performance on the evaluation proved otherwise.>> |
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As someone who loves children and logic, this statement makes me want to scream, shout, and cry. If all were as it should be, a refund would be yours.
I'm sorry that you have to deal with her, Elizabeth.
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Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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MEBarrett
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I reflected a bit on my blog about our goals for our special blessings. An evaluator, like this one, sees the child in the context of graduating high school and getting into a college or some kind of training. Either that or a group home kind of set up. That evaluator was putting Christian in that box. What's an awful shame is that she is so focused on the school thing that she is missing the great talent and other wonderful abilities of Christian and her other clients. Her limited view of children with challenges is going to deprive a lot parents the joy in seeing their children achieve in a non-traditional way.
We should offer a prayer for her and her clients.
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Blessings,
Mary Ellen
Mom to seven beautiful kids
Tales from the Bonny Blue House
O Night Divine
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guitarnan
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I'm sorry that the "corrected" report was so disappointing. It does seem, though, to be a confirming circumstance...reaffirming what you've always known, that Christian is a wonderful, creative young man, and that you, loving mom and educator, know best how to nurture and guide him.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Cay Gibson
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Though a good test-taker in school, I gave up on test a long time ago. 21 years exactly.
Dh and I were taking marriage preparation classes through the Diocese. We had to take a test at the end. The test showed we should wait on getting married (we dated 3 years total, engaged 1 of those years). The "test" revealed that my dh was answering the test the way he "thought" the test wanted to be answered. Like he was trying to "fool" the test or something. 
I wonder what the "test" would say about our 20 year marriage?
He also wanted to enter the Air Force after college. He took the test 3 times while in the ROTC. Failed the test each time. The AF has no idea what a committed, patriotic, honest, hard-working man they lost. Their loss was my gain.
Get this... 21 years later...just a couple of months ago...
Kayleigh and he were taking a test he had brought home from work. I forget what the test was about but they were taking it for fun.
The question was something along these lines:
Which animal name does not belong:
elk rabbit &nb sp;cat dog
Kayleigh and I answered "elk" because the other three can all be pets. Elks don't belong in that group.
Eerily "Sesame Street"-style, isn't it.
Mark argued with us that the correct answer was "rabbit" because the other three had "three" letters apiece. "Rabbit" has more than three letters.
Two different ways of thinking. Two different logics.
What exactly was the test asking???
Turns out, Kayleigh and I answered correctly.
But I cannot say enough for this man who has provided and supported his family for the past 20 years. He's smart. He really is. He can go circles around me when it comes to geography, history, SCIENCE, MATH (he's the one the children go to for help in these subjects) and current events.
Still, this man, even while on strike, has taken advantage of a building frenzy in this area (due to the recent hurricanes) and built up a nice little construction business which has not only provided comfortably for our family but has employed three other workers who would otherwise be out-of-work due to the strike. He plans to keep the new business going even after he goes back to work.
Am I proud of my non-test-taker husband? Ya bettacha.
Perhaps he just doesn't do well with logic and "testing" requires "logical minds". Frankly, I think the less logical a person is, the better equipped he is to doing great things. It's a shame that the educational system is telling these people differently. 
Come to think of it, most "tests" would say that having 5 children isn't "logical" either. Aaah, what do they know?
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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Elizabeth
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MEBarrett wrote:
Elizabeth wrote:
| Although his anecdotal record including the blog he wrote reflects creativity and interest, his performance on the evaluation proved otherwise.>> |
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This has to be one of the most stupid things I have ever encountered.
What you did was pay a lot of money to find out the evaluator's dminished capacity. |
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It is so good to finally have a real live (rather large) belly laugh about this. Wish I could make this emoticon roll .
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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4Real Forums : Special Blessings
Topic: Evaluation prayers please
