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KC in TX
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| Posted: Oct 03 2012 at 7:39pm | IP Logged
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Shattered ideals? Y'all, do you know how much unused curriculum I have sitting on my shelves? 
This has been a fun post to read. At one point in this adventure I said, "Oh, when things calm down, I'll..." Well, I finally realized, that THIS is my life and it will never calm down. Once I embraced that (and the messy house), I've been able to enjoy it better (not completely). 
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KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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SuzanneG
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It takes a lot of strategizing to fit games into a family with different and many age levels. a lot!!!! We very rarely play games all together. Here are the different ways we do it:
:: 2 different groups---which requires 2 adults, of course
:: lots of games happen when family members visit, so there can be multiple adults and then one person watching the baby/toddler.
:: when friends are over and I can either watch little ones or they can watch a show
:: night time after littles are in bed
:: nap time.....for the quieter games.
:: We have also invested in games that are GEARED toward the younger crowd, but that EVERYONE enjoys...this has been really important. Because really, let's face it.... Candyland is BORING! ugh.  So, having multiple games for EVERYONE has been really important over here. Love this thread for that...Board Games for little ones
:: Also, "party games" are fun for the little ones....b/c they "feel" like they are playing just by EXISTING in the same room! This is another way to include them. Apples-to-Apples is a good example of this. Or Cadoo. And, worth it to "train the older ones" what it looks like to include a younger child in this and what it sounds like to encourage them....role play this....and explain to them that if they can INCLUDE the youngers....they'll have MORE TIME to play...b/c otherwise play time is totally limited to when mom is not busy and can watch little ones or when they are sleeping.
:: Also, role-playing what it looks like to clear an area away to play games and what it looks like to clean up afterward.
:: We have a tiny, little box in the silverware drawer for "found pieces" (games and puzzles)....if we find a piece of "something" we put it in the box. The thing that stops a kid from saying "Look mom, I just found a Rummikub tile" is the dread of knowing that you are going to say...."Well, go put it away."....because WHO ON EARTH WANTS TO DO THAT? LOL! But, if all you have to do is put it in the silv erware drawer, then THAT's EASY! And, then someone puts all of them away later.
We've also put post-it notes of lost pieces on the fridge....whoever finds the lost piece gets some sort of "prize"....extra chocolate chips or something ridiculous and motivating to a child....
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Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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Claire F
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| Posted: Oct 05 2012 at 11:27pm | IP Logged
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I have a "shattered ideal" for sure - I always hoped my kids would be big book lovers, but so far, they're just not.
My oldest can read quite well, but he's not interested in anything except nonfiction picture books. He likes to be read TO, and we read chapter books that way (which is great, don't get me wrong). Except, my second son refuses to listen to anything that isn't a picture book. He has yet to sit through more than a couple pages of a chapter book story. And my daughter, being 3, doesn't pay attention either. So intead of time spent reading a chapter book being this lovely time spent snuggled on the couch together with the three of them (or even sitting while they color or something), it winds up being just one more thing that I try to do with my oldest while the other two interrupt, or go off and do their own thing.
And although my oldest son is capable of reading at least simple chapter books, he has no interest in it. There are about a dozen things he'd rather do than sit and read a book. Lately it has been a struggle to get him to read anything, even for school work.
When I was his age, I was already a big reader. I remember in second grade, the school librarian wouldn't let me check out chapter books because she didn't think I could read them. I don't recall if it was my mom or my teacher who intervened at some point, but I remember finally being allowed to select chapter books and being so excited about it. I've always loved reading, and it was one of those things I've always hoped to share with my kids.
Of course, mine are still young. My oldest is not quite 8, so that makes a difference. And he and his brother are always so busy building things and having lego battles and other crazy boy stuff. Maybe that book love will come eventually. Until then, I'll hold onto my fantasy of reading great stories to them while they hang on my every word and beg me for just one more chapter  .
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Claire
Mom to DS 12/04, DS 5/07, DD 8/09
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guitarnan
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Claire, I am right with you. I love historical fiction, Anne of Green Gables, Laura, Betsy-Tacy, etc. - and my children have always disliked my favorite genre. I have shelves filled with my favorite books from childhood; while dd loves to experience them as read-alouds, she'd never, ever go to those shelves and pull a a book out, let alone read it.
Sigh.
This is why moms start wanting grandchildren, I'm convinced.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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JodieLyn
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My MIL says the best things she did to get her boys to read more was to let them have the light on for an extra bit of time after bedtime IF they were reading. 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: Oct 17 2012 at 8:02am | IP Logged
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SuzanneG wrote:
:: We have a tiny, little box in the silverware drawer for "found pieces" (games and puzzles)....if we find a piece of "something" we put it in the box. The thing that stops a kid from saying "Look mom, I just found a Rummikub tile" is the dread of knowing that you are going to say...."Well, go put it away."....because WHO ON EARTH WANTS TO DO THAT? LOL! But, if all you have to do is put it in the silv erware drawer, then THAT's EASY! And, then someone puts all of them away later.
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This is genius. So simple, and yet voicing that reality is very helpful.
We went out of town shortly after I posted this. I had started a great toy reckoning before leaving, and I found a good home for the games. Still not sure if we'll ever get to play Uncle Wiggly again, but I'm less overwhelmed with the games tucked away in the cabinets that dh hung. I hadn't really had time to remember they were there and had just assumed they would hold spill over from the pantry, so I hadn't considered what else would go there. but they are high off the ground, and the games fit well (except Scrabble, we have the anniversary edition with the spinning board--we bought it while we were still dating, and I had no idea that it would be so awkward to store  ).
So, maybe games aren't a lost cause completely?
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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CrunchyMom
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Claire F wrote:
I have a "shattered ideal" for sure - I always hoped my kids would be big book lovers, but so far, they're just not.
My oldest can read quite well, but he's not interested in anything except nonfiction picture books. He likes to be read TO, and we read chapter books that way (which is great, don't get me wrong). Except, my second son refuses to listen to anything that isn't a picture book. He has yet to sit through more than a couple pages of a chapter book story. And my daughter, being 3, doesn't pay attention either. So intead of time spent reading a chapter book being this lovely time spent snuggled on the couch together with the three of them (or even sitting while they color or something), it winds up being just one more thing that I try to do with my oldest while the other two interrupt, or go off and do their own thing.
And although my oldest son is capable of reading at least simple chapter books, he has no interest in it. There are about a dozen things he'd rather do than sit and read a book. Lately it has been a struggle to get him to read anything, even for school work.
When I was his age, I was already a big reader. I remember in second grade, the school librarian wouldn't let me check out chapter books because she didn't think I could read them. I don't recall if it was my mom or my teacher who intervened at some point, but I remember finally being allowed to select chapter books and being so excited about it. I've always loved reading, and it was one of those things I've always hoped to share with my kids.
Of course, mine are still young. My oldest is not quite 8, so that makes a difference. And he and his brother are always so busy building things and having lego battles and other crazy boy stuff. Maybe that book love will come eventually. Until then, I'll hold onto my fantasy of reading great stories to them while they hang on my every word and beg me for just one more chapter . |
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Do you have Jim Weiss recordings? I'm really convinced that listening to him tell stories and talk about how you can find more stories in books inspired my oldest a lot in his love for reading early on. The library usually has a lot of his stuff, but it also makes great Christmas gifts!
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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SeaStar
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Jim Weiss's narration of "Come On, Sea Biscuit" is outstanding- one of our favorite that he's done. You can tell he really enjoyed reading the story.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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Kristie 4
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You have to like Jim's voice though- I know people love him but my kids absolutely cringe if I turn him on!!
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Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
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stefoodie
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As I was cleaning the house yesterday, a "shattered ideal" came to me. Years ago when the teens were toddlers and until age 8/6 or so -- I would clean their rooms for/with them and I would spend HOURS organizing Lego into buckets BY COLOR. I think I might have posted that here at one point. Not only have I finally outgrown that ideal, just a couple of months ago I finally gave up on toys being sorted by category, i.e., Lego with Lego, Playmobil with Playmobil, train stuff together, cars together, etc., etc. Now they're all in boxes, all mixed up! Sigh. I figure when I'm old and gray and the kids are out of the house I'll have time to sort all these; I'll probably be crying the whole time missing "the good old days" when the house was a mess.
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stef
mom to five
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cathhomeschool
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Texas Bluebonnets
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| Posted: Oct 18 2012 at 10:32am | IP Logged
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Stef, I hear you! I used to sort Legos by color too! Now not only are they not sorted, they aren't even put away! It used to frustrate me so much -- the Little's room is always a mess, a sea of Legos with a path cleared in the evenings so that they can get to their beds. What would people think? What do *I* think? Even other kids who come over are astonished at the mess! (Now *that's bad.*) So definitely a shattered ideal, but like you, I've realized that someday it won't be a mess and I'll miss them. So I've let it go and just request a clean up on occasion so that I can vacuum. I even came up with a "filter" for the vacuum so that I can vacuum dust off of legos without sucking them up.  -- I cover the vacuum hose with a piece of window screening and then vacuum away.
Suzanne, I love the box for spare pieces!
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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martinas6
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I've enjoyed reading this and my shattered ideal has to be movie night. It's terrible, it's loud, I mean loud as in the little boys scream so someone turns it up, then they scream again, so it goes up even louder! Before I know it, I've got a headache. Add in huge bowls of popcorn being passed around & blankets everywhere and little ones needing a diaper change at the same time, forget it. The last time we attempted to watch a movie together, Marky(4) nearly needed a stitch on his forehead. I feel badly because EVERYONE here will BEG me to sit & watch a movie with them but it's torture for me. One day...one day...we'll be able to enjoy a movie together(hopefully its before I grow old and lose my hearing)
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Martina DeRose in IL
married in 93
mom to 10
http://www.mamax9.blogspot.com
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Claire F
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| Posted: Oct 18 2012 at 4:33pm | IP Logged
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CrunchyMom wrote:
Do you have Jim Weiss recordings? I'm really convinced that listening to him tell stories and talk about how you can find more stories in books inspired my oldest a lot in his love for reading early on. The library usually has a lot of his stuff, but it also makes great Christmas gifts! |
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We do have a couple Jim Weiss CDs. (Well, I guess technically I have MP3 downloads - I'm not sure what to call alubms/CDs anymore!). The boys enjoy those, but in small doses (which is fine).
We did have a really nice moment the other day - all three kids wound up lounging around on the couch/chair drawing in their notebooks, while I read aloud. It was heavenly! Maybe their initial reluctance will just make me appreciate it more when the stars align and a great read aloud time happens.
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Claire
Mom to DS 12/04, DS 5/07, DD 8/09
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SeaStar
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| Posted: Oct 22 2012 at 5:44am | IP Logged
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Another shattered ideal...
My kids are apparently never going to be excited about learning Spanish. Or Latin. *sigh*.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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SallyT
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Yes, we've let Latin go, too. My oldest loved it. The others have done some, and we attend a Latin Mass and sing Latin hymns at home, so there's a good deal of immersion that goes on. But our language now is German, which my husband speaks fluently. My daughter at college is taking German, and I decided that the rest of us might as well do it, too, because it's the only language that's likely to get practiced at the dinner table, and we are all really enjoying it. I did, however, have to give up the vision of my husband teaching it.
Sally
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SeaStar
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How about the Jesse Tree?
With Advent approaching, I am having to make a hard call this year. We've done a Jesse tree every year for the past five years or so, and it has definitely lost its gee whiz factor- while at the same time not becoming a beloved tradition here
Might have to let that one go for now... perhaps revisit it when they are older. 
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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Chris V
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SeaStar wrote:
How about the Jesse Tree?
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Oh my goodness, yes.
Going to have to have a little heart-to-heart with myself this year....
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Chris
Happy Wife with my Happy Life
Mama to My Five Girls ('04~'07~'09~'11~'11) 
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CrunchyMom
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SeaStar wrote:
How about the Jesse Tree?
With Advent approaching, I am having to make a hard call this year. We've done a Jesse tree every year for the past five years or so, and it has definitely lost its gee whiz factor- while at the same time not becoming a beloved tradition here
Might have to let that one go for now... perhaps revisit it when they are older.
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Wow, I think you are hard core for actually DOING it all those years. I start out trying to, but I never can get all the ornaments made in advance, and I can't get past the first few days winging it. However, my boys are delighted by the ornaments from this this calendar. I spent so much wasted energy lamenting that we weren't doing a "Jesse tree" before I realized that the stories and hymns in these books were essentially the same, just simpler, and the ornaments are delightful in their own way, if not featuring the ancient symbols of Christianity.
I mean, I just LOVE the idea of studying the history of the old and new testament coming together as a family tree, but I think I'm going to let it go this year and let the little ones delight in the mini books and not sweat it.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Chris V
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CrunchyMom wrote:
I mean, I just LOVE the idea of studying the history of the old and new testament coming together as a family tree, but I think I'm going to let it go this year and let the little ones delight in the mini books and not sweat it. |
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Ditto, Lindsay. I LOVE the idea steeping ourselves in the history of the old and new testament and how it all comes together. .... but as with you, I must let it go this year - else suffer a broken heart once again when the excitement in their eyes turns to glazed-bordom.
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Chris
Happy Wife with my Happy Life
Mama to My Five Girls ('04~'07~'09~'11~'11)
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SeaStar
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Chris V wrote:
Ditto, Lindsay. I LOVE the idea steeping ourselves in the history of the old and new testament and how it all comes together. .... but as with you, I must let it go this year - else suffer a broken heart once again when the excitement in their eyes turns to glazed-bordom. |
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Or my favorite comment: You can color the next ornament for the tree today, Mom."
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Share Your Shattered Ideals
