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Becky Parker
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I love the idea of weekly meetings. I've tried,over the years, to incorporate this concept into our day. But, for some reason the meetings end up being more of a time to check work or go over up and coming lessons, and I never get to the part I originally wanted to have the meetings for which Jen describes in this quote:
(From this thread )
Mackfam wrote:
"One of the biggest parts of a CM education is that it is a discipline. I spend time every week in a special *meeting* with my older two students. We discuss the things that are challenging them in their days and I brainstorm around their feedback asking myself -->
** is this a logistical need I can work out? --> brainstorm with the schedule...vary offerings through the week, make sure lessons are short, liberal reading...but not an overwhelming amount of reading from one book
** is this an issue of discipline? --> I talk openly with my children about this being their education. I am alongside. I am offering a liberal feast, but my student is responsible for living out their education. They understand that some subjects will not be *emotionally enjoyable* (my dd doesn't enjoy Latin), but we both agree on the *why* of it being offered in the curriculum. I agree that we will only accomplish basics, and she agrees to master those basics. I agree to offer it in ways that are most palatable for her, straightforward, understandable. She agrees to work with that. I wanted to illustrate that part of the discipline...that there is communication, understanding, cooperation that works together with the discipline of the education.
** is there enough margin in my day/a child's lesson plans so that there is room to work with "the unexpected"???
These weekly meetings have been such a help for us!!! They keep the lines of communication open as we discuss how to make the days smoother. I work from my end and they work from their end...but we're both working together." |
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Perhaps my kids aren't mature enough, or maybe I'm just too "driven" to get things done and I need to relax a bit. Any suggestions on making these meetings more productive/meaningful? And at what age would you say a child is ready for such a meeting? My dd is 11 and rather mature, my next child is 9, a boy, and I can't imagine him sitting still for any sort of meeting.
I love the idea of it though and I can see that it would be a very special time for mom and the child.
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Becky
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Mackfam
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Becky,
I've been looking forward to being able to sit down with your question. I went into a bit more detail about our weekly meetings on this thread. I thought I'd drop some of that in here as well...
Mackfam wrote:
My students and I meet together at the end of each week and we honestly assess the week - lesson plans, reading selections, assignments, expectations, challenges. This isn't a gripe session. I ask questions and seek input so that their day is as smooth as possible and I bring to bear every tool that is reasonable to help make this so. They understand that their education is a discipline...so not all of it will be thrilling for them. Some of it will just be...a discipline. This weekly meeting together time helps us to communicate and work together to brainstorm...
** Are expectations realistic?
** Are reading assignments appropriate?
** Are there areas that seem to bottleneck during the day?
** Do the time allotted expectations need to be adjusted?
** Are there other distractions that need to be brainstormed?
** Are there subjects/areas that are consistently a struggle? consistently not finishing in the time allowed?
** Can I logistically correct some of the challenges?
** Is this an area of discipline?
** Am I providing enough input?
** Am I available during the times of day that my older students need me most?
It isn't super formal...I just listed questions I might throw out there so you could sort of see my line of thinking. In talking with my students, I address areas they need to work on - making better use of their time, attention to studies, etc., whatever areas they might need to work on. I take the feedback they give me and make changes as necessary to their lesson plans for the next week. I also try to give them specific tools to work with - so, for example, if I have a child that is easily distracted, we discuss tools that can help that child remain focused like working in a quiet room, being creative in our use of quiet spaces (like the bathroom), etc. For my part, I might move subjects that are more challenging for that student to a quieter time of the day. The purpose of this weekly meeting time is so that my student and I are communicating together individually and regularly about their work, the tools available to them, areas they need to work on...and it helps me identify areas I need to work on. This meeting time keeps us on the same page, and it has helped me see problems before they become huge crises. |
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I start weekly meetings with my students around 4th grade. They're short at first - I'm not asking my 8 yo to analyze and brainstorm like I would an older child - but I definitely think a younger child can communicate about their education.
It sets up a habit of communication and ownership of behavior that I value and that I see as an important component of my children's education. It's during this time that my student might mention that they never get their work done on time because they feel I've given them too much work to accomplish. We might discuss their work together as well as the expectations I've placed before them. I might even ask for input as to what they consider realistic. We then discuss good use of time, tools to help them make better use of their time, pitfalls/challenges a particular child may face, the necessity of offering full attention to a lesson. Then, I let them know that I will be carefully observing their work for the upcoming week, and I'll be taking notes that we can review in our next meeting. I can honestly see if the issue is in the amount of work/reading/writing they are expected to accomplish in a given time...or if the problem is with the child's offering attention and the mis-use of time. Whatever I observe and conclude, the end result is to offer tools so that a day is smoother - so that might be giving a child tools to help them focus (make the lesson and workload shorter, reduce distractions, etc), or it might mean I adjust lesson plans to reflect a more realistic/reasonable amount of work to be completed in the given time or adjusting that subject to a quieter place in the day.
The time we spend meeting together varies with each child, and varies greatly across the ages. My teen enjoys meeting together and often meetings turn into discussions and reflections letting me know of her passions...and even how much she is enjoying or learning from a subject she initially thought she might just be tolerating. She is able to readily identify her challenges now and will brainstorm on her own ways to address them. My job in meeting with her is really about helping her see the variety of tools she can use to assist her with her particular learning style and her particular challenges. My 5th grade son's meetings are different - they're more instructional for him as we communicate together about tools and challenges. His meeting time is shorter, but the time we spend together is completely natural - I never shorten or prolong a meeting time...it's over when we both naturally conclude that we're done. My son might let me know that he's missing more hands on projects in his week...we agree that this needs to be more of a priority and that means that I need to translate this onto the lesson plans more. I let him know of challenges or issues I'm seeing and we discuss one challenge we're going to work on at a time. We brainstorm tools and ideas and sometimes cue words that serve as a neutral reminder of a habit he might be working on.
It's really just about communicating together. It's been good for my kids to learn to communicate effectively with me...their needs and their challenges...and also to own the responsibility for their education. It is an open time for respectful, honest evaluations. I learn just as much as they do!!
Hope this helps a bit, Becky! Sorry it took me several days to get back to you! 
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
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Erin
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Becky and Jen
Thank you both for inspiring me, new term starts next week and I have new resolutions 
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Erin
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Becky Parker
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Mackfam wrote:
Mackfam wrote:
My students and I meet together at the end of each week and we honestly assess the week - lesson plans, reading selections, assignments, expectations, challenges. This isn't a gripe session. I ask questions and seek input so that their day is as smooth as possible and I bring to bear every tool that is reasonable to help make this so. They understand that their education is a discipline...so not all of it will be thrilling for them. Some of it will just be...a discipline. This weekly meeting together time helps us to communicate and work together to brainstorm...
** Are expectations realistic?
** Are reading assignments appropriate?
** Are there areas that seem to bottleneck during the day?
** Do the time allotted expectations need to be adjusted?
** Are there other distractions that need to be brainstormed?
** Are there subjects/areas that are consistently a struggle? consistently not finishing in the time allowed?
** Can I logistically correct some of the challenges?
** Is this an area of discipline?
** Am I providing enough input?
** Am I available during the times of day that my older students need me most?
It isn't super formal...I just listed questions I might throw out there so you could sort of see my line of thinking. In talking with my students, I address areas they need to work on - making better use of their time, attention to studies, etc., whatever areas they might need to work on. I take the feedback they give me and make changes as necessary to their lesson plans for the next week. I also try to give them specific tools to work with - so, for example, if I have a child that is easily distracted, we discuss tools that can help that child remain focused like working in a quiet room, being creative in our use of quiet spaces (like the bathroom), etc. For my part, I might move subjects that are more challenging for that student to a quieter time of the day. The purpose of this weekly meeting time is so that my student and I are communicating together individually and regularly about their work, the tools available to them, areas they need to work on...and it helps me identify areas I need to work on. This meeting time keeps us on the same page, and it has helped me see problems before they become huge crises. |
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It sets up a habit of communication and ownership of behavior that I value and that I see as an important component of my children's education.
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Thanks Jen! It was very helpful to read this. I think the quote I left at the bottom sums up what I am hoping to accomplish by having weekly meetings. My dd, now 11, would benefit especially, I believe, because besides her need to take ownership, she also craves one on one time with me. This is just one way that I can carve special time out of my day for just her.
I would like to make this part of our weekly routine, which for me is going to take some discipline. I am so bad about wanting to tend to other household matters instead of just sitting down with one of my kids. At the same time, I see the importance of it. When I first started homeschooling my oldest ds and I would do this. I had more time then as there were only 2 kids and a big gap between my oldest and the next child. I need to find that time for the rest of my gang too though!
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Becky
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Mackfam
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Becky Parker wrote:
| I would like to make this part of our weekly routine, which for me is going to take some discipline. I am so bad about wanting to tend to other household matters instead of just sitting down with one of my kids. |
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I know what you mean! There are always a gazillion other things to do...and I tend to swish, which means if I have a minute that isn't occupied, I'm swishing laundry, stirring dinner, sweeping the kitchen...etc. I'll share with you how I set myself up for success in starting this habit.
I print my lesson plans for the next week on Friday. After lunch, during quiet time, I open the lesson plan files for each child on the computer. I ask one child at a time to come over to my desk with their clipboard containing their lesson plans from the week. I keep a chair at the side of my desk at all times. This is the permanent home of this chair - children sit here for help with their work during the week, my 1st grader sits here to work with me...and it's our meeting chair.
So...for me I found I needed to have all the tools gathered to facilitate these meetings...
** A REGULAR and (relatively) quiet time in which to meet
** table or desk with 2 chairs - one for me and one for a child.
** laptop with files open to child's lesson plans
** child with lesson plan clipboard holding current week's lesson plans in hand
** AND...a big yellow notepad with pencil for me!!!
Once all the tools are assembled and the child is present, we begin...
** tell me about your week...was there anything you really enjoyed?
** was there something you were really hoping to do, but didn't have enough time to work on? (this is where my hands-on child lets me know if I'm providing enough margin in the day to pursue hands-on explorations...this one question is a big help for me in assisting this child!)
** are you enjoying your reading? what's your favorite book?
** how did the lesson plans work this week? let's take a look! (sometimes during the week, I make notes to myself directly on a child's lesson plans - move this...add 15 minutes...change the page number assignment, etc) are you having trouble finishing on time?
** anything challenging you?
** are there any tools that can help you with your day -- need more paper in your basket? would grid paper help with your sloppy math work? is there enough light where you're working? pencils? (I mention this because I learned one time through our meetings that having sharp pencils at hand was a SERIOUS issue for one of my children...so we brainstormed a way to get a pencil sharpener within reach of the work table, and I resolved to check the pencil supply every Friday afternoon when I set out fresh lesson plans for the week upcoming. It's a little thing...but it meant a lot to one child.)
** I've noticed --MENTION X ISSUE HERE-- What's going on? Is there a challenge for you with this? Can we get to the root of the problem? How can I help? Do we need to find a behavioral tool? Do I need to be more attentive to something? Is there a physical tool in our home that might help? ETC!!!! (Important to ONLY mention one issue at a time - build habits one at a time!!!)
** SUM UP..."Ok, so I'm going to work on making sure I get your math graded in a timely way so you're not waiting on me to do corrections. I'm moving your math to an earlier spot in the day on your lesson plans, and adding in some extra time after your science and history reading for you to pursue your catapult project. You agree to work on staying focused on the task at hand during the day and we agree that I can help you with the key word: FOCUS!"
*******************************************************
That's it! I take notes on my notepad while we meet (especially areas I need to work on or further brainstorm). When we're done with the meeting and we both understand our goals for the next week, I make adjustments RIGHT THEN to the lesson plans on my laptop...print...add to the child's clipboard for the next week (no more frantically trying to figure out what to do on Monday morning...can't find the lesson plans...haven't printed anything yet...the kids have no direction so school doesn't happen)...and we're ready for the next week. All this happens on a Friday afternoon and it leaves us refreshed after a good review of the week and set up with tools in hand and a positive direction for the next week.
WORTH REPEATING: I NEVER focus on more than one NEGATIVE/CHALLENGE/ISSUE at once. If there's a lot to work on, I might make a discreet list on my yellow notepad that I use for our weekly meetings and check them as I go...but I've learned that if I work on the biggies - ATTENTION, OBEDIENCE, TRUTHFULNESS - almost ALL of the rest fall into place on their own. And, just so you know, we are always working on one of those around here - either habit forming or polishing the habit!!!!
Hope this helps, Becky! I know you'll find your groove as you work this in a way that reflects and suits your family! I so enjoy discussing this because these weekly meetings have been such a help for us! They're like the glue that binds our weeks together and they help keeps us pointed in a positive direction - WORKING TOGETHER!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Mackfam
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Coming back quickly to say...
Not everyone needs (or wants  ) to work to the level of detail I do! I sure hope I didn't imply that in my post! The details I have in place are a function of my temperament, my kids learning styles and needs, and the variables within our home at this time. I got detailed...because details help me brainstorm! But PLEASE don't let the number of details I listed or illustrated be paralyzing in any way! In truth, our meetings are very simple, and once I formed the habit of meeting together, they became more of a natural brainstorming conversation. I listed/bulleted things as they might go through my head - but this meeting isn't scripted or a part of a checklist. Ok...clarification over.
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Jen Mackintosh
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Wildflowers and Marbles
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JuliaT
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Becki, thank you so much for asking this question. I have been waiting patiently for someone to reply. I love the idea of weekly meetings but really had no idea how to work it all out in a practical manner. My dd, too, would benefit from having some special Mama time to discuss school things as well as other things.
Jen, thank you so much for your posts on this thread as well as on Kristie's thread that you linked to here. You have fleshed out some things that have been niggling at me for awhile.
We have been visiting my parents in Ontario, Canada for the past month. We will be leaving tomorrow for a five day drive home. I am so looking forward to being home so I can start putting all of these things into action. 
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Julia
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Becky Parker
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Wow, thanks Jen. This is very helpful. I can see my dd LOVING this type of thing. I also see, in the way you describe it, that sense of bringing the child to take ownership of their education, which is really my goal here. Instead of spending this "meeting time" checking math papers, which is the rut I've fallen into, the bigger issues are being addressed. It reminds me of a book I read years ago by Steven Covey called the SEven Habits of Highly Effective People. Regarding priorities, Covey talks about big rocks and little rocks. Taking care of the big rocks first often means the little rocks will fall into place. There are bigger issues that I need to address with my kids than the math papers, which I can check at some other time. This meeting format will help me to do that. I'm going to give it a try this week.
I plan on Friday afternoons too, so I can see that this basic structure would work well for us.
Now I'm excited! Thanks so much for taking the time to describe in detail how you do this. I love that we can share our tips and routines here! Learning what other people do, when I am stuck in one of my ruts  , has been so helpful time and time again!
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Becky
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Erin
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Jen
Thank you so much for sharing your detailed outline, I've poured over this and feel so refreshed, I can do this This is the meeting I have with my children at the end of Term, they are totally comfortable with this style of communication. But I can see the real benefits to having a weekly meet.
Now if only you can solve my slackness at marking their work issues 
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Erin
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Becky Parker
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So I had my first weekly meeting with my dd yesterday morning. We decided to have our meetings Friday mornings, before we leave for piano. In preparation I went and bought a pretty notebook for each of us, matching of course. I explained to my dd that the notebooks were for the purpose of keeping track of what we discuss.
We started by talking about what it means to take ownership of your education and I had her write "ownership" at the top of the first page. Then we went through all of her subjects, talked about whether she liked what she was doing there, positive and negative aspects, etc.
But, then, towards the end when I thought we were done, she asked if she could talk to me about something regarding this "ownership". She said "you told me you thought I was mature enough to start taking more ownership of my education. And you always tell me that you are proud of me for making such 'mature' decisions." I affirmed that that was true. But then she told me that her best friend said she actied "too mature" sometimes and that she should just be a kid. Wow, I didn't expect that. The dispute came over the fact that, while at the park, I had asked my dd to keep an eye on her 3yo brother for a few minutes while I ran to get something out of the car. Her friend just wanted her to play with some of the other kids there.
I wont go on and on, but it gave us a real opportunity to communicate about something that was really upsetting to my dd, but she didn't know how to approach me about it.
So, I guess I'm just saying that the meeting was a very good thing in that it allowed specific time for us to talk about her school work (not just check her math lesson)but it also became a time that we could talk about a real "heart-issue" she was having. As she grows up (she's only 11 but I must admit a rather mature 11) I know it's going to be more and more important to keep that communication open with her. This "meeting concept" will hopefully keep me from getting so wrapped up in my world of changing diapers, teaching grammar, doing dishes etc. and focus on my kids and their true needs.
One more point and then I'll stop going on and on . I have always thought that homeschooling was best for the very reason I mentioned above. We really get to know our kids and their needs. But ... I also have been feeling lately that I am pulled in so many directions, I don't always have the time or emotional energy to deal with each individual kid and their needs. Of course I feed them and make sure they have appropriate clothing, bandage their "owies" and pray with them every night. But I'm not always mentally or emotionally "present" when they come to me and just want to talk. That's a goal I have for myself, and I really think having a weekly meeting will be a tool that I can use for that purpose. Hopefully it will spill over. Now that I know this issue with my dd I can continue to talk to her about it whenever we are together. It just required my undivided, focused attention with her to bring it to light.
Okay, done rambling. Just wanted to share my positive experience!
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Becky
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Mackfam
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JuliaT wrote:
| Jen, thank you so much for your posts on this thread as well as on Kristie's thread that you linked to here. You have fleshed out some things that have been niggling at me for awhile. |
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You're so welcome, Julia! What a blessing it has been for me to share and brainstorm with you gals! 
JuliaT wrote:
| I am so looking forward to being home so I can start putting all of these things into action. |
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Oh!!! That is so exciting!!! I feel so inspired thinking of fresh starts and new ideas to try out, Julia!!! I can just imagine how excited you are to get home and start brainstorming the practicals of how this might work for your family! Do come back and tell us how it works for you and share other ideas! It's always so helpful when a group of us shares different perspectives and practicals in how we apply an idea - it's more helpful and is very inspirational to all!!!
Erin wrote:
Jen
Thank you so much for sharing your detailed outline, I've poured over this and feel so refreshed, I can do this This is the meeting I have with my children at the end of Term, they are totally comfortable with this style of communication. But I can see the real benefits to having a weekly meet.
Now if only you can solve my slackness at marking their work issues |
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I'm so happy if this brainstorming session was helpful!!! Meeting together regularly has helped me to stay in touch, to be attentive, to observe more closely...before something becomes a crisis of some kind. It's been a blessing to catch things that are troubling to a particular child, or struggles while they are still in their infancy so that I can help a child by brainstorming tools, offering support, making changes where it seems prudent.
I thought I'd mention that I really think that I set the groundwork for doing this by learning to really observe my younger children at work - a skill I learned through Montessori work and reading. Observation skills have something key in common with these meetings we've been talking about - I am really engaged in the child's work. I watch. I'm quiet. I wonder. I note challenges and needs. I offer different/additional work & activities based on the things I observe. So, in regularly observing my younger children at work with Montessori work or games or play...I really start to get to know them...how they learn best...what frustrates them...areas that are particularly challenging. These weekly meetings that I described are really an extension of these observation skills I learned through Montessori, but what I love about the weekly meeting with an older child is that they invite more relationship; they foster communication and openness. I just wanted to mention that I really feel like I taught myself to do this through Montessori observations in the early years.
Becky Parker wrote:
| the meeting was a very good thing in that it allowed specific time for us to talk about her school work (not just check her math lesson)but it also became a time that we could talk about a real "heart-issue" she was having. |
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How wonderful, Becky! I know exactly what you're talking about! Finding time and setting it aside as special, a time for meeting together, has been a blessing here, too! Often I find that through our communicating together, the Holy Spirit helps me so that I can offer to my child a vocabulary they can use to communicate their needs more effectively. And through their communication, I observe and know their needs better and can challenge myself to grow and stretch to meet their needs and give of myself while also challenging them to grow and exercise discipline. We're both growing through this!!
What a blessing this conversation has been to me, ladies!! to all of you!!!!
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Angel
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I notice that a lot of focus is on girls here. Any tips for meeting with boys? Particularly boys who might be a wee bit ADD?
I thought it was interesting what you said about Montessori, Jen. I think that in Montessori elementary schools (and beyond) the meeting (daily to weekly or biweekly, etc) is a key element of a child's education, especially since Montessori stresses self-education so much.
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Angela
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Angel wrote:
I notice that a lot of focus is on girls here. Any tips for meeting with boys? Particularly boys who might be a wee bit ADD?
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I meet with both my son and my daughter. The format and the purpose of the meeting is the same. We reflect and brainstorm together. Weekly meetings with my son tend to be short, sweet, and to the point! We review the week - he has an opportunity to let me know how things are going...and what kind of things are challenging to him (see above brainstorming questions).
My son has some challenges that are typical for boys, and that's fine - I work with them just as I would with habits that he might need to build or work on - one at a time.
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Jen Mackintosh
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4Real Forums : Planning and Ordering our Days
Topic: Weekly meetings?
