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albeto
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Barbara C. wrote:
Lots of prayers coming your way. Try to be thankful that your husband allows any religious education at all. And don't forget that miracles do happen. Sometimes the most virulent atheists are the ones who deep down are wanting to believe. I hope that's the truth in your case. |
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Thank you for this reminder. Yes, I am grateful that he allows religious education. It absolutely could be worse.
I am hopeful for a miracle. They seem to be slow-coming in my experience but I have patience. Sometimes I forget that I'm waiting patiently and wig out a little bit. 
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Susana
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God Bless you! I will keep you in my prayers.
Some suggestions I have are:
Leading by example. Having a good attitude, being charitable, etc.. regardless of what it is sure to be noticed. Do you approve of books, tv shows, music children listen to? Is this stuff that distracts them from becoming closer to God? I personally think a lot of cartoons, etc.. are just junk and one more thing to keep childrens minds off of God. I once heard a priest say that even in the grocery store you are pounded with all sorts of horrible music, it's no wonder so many people can't hear God calling them ;) It's true though, isn't it. If outright Catholicism is "taboo" in your household, providing the kids with uplifting books, things to watch, etc.. may slowly be able to prepare the "soil" for more Catholic seeds to come. One of the things I've started doing is replacing words and ideas in my everyday language. Hey, the public schools do it with injecting liberal ideas into the textbooks, why not do it to society with a more Catholic outlook! ;)
When someone does something nice for me whether it's my own kids or a stranger, I'll say, "Thank you, that was so charitable of you!" Key word, Charity is a virtue, nice is just nice. I also call "teenagers" Young Adults, so my kids start getting the idea that those are the years preparing them for adulthood and not the hollywood's attitude of "teenagers have a right to hang out at the mall all day, talk back to their parents, etc.."
When you see something brave, etc.. you can casually link that back to a saint. For example, the other day while hearing Fr. Corapi speak on the radio I told my son, "Wow! Fr. Corapi is an awesome speaker! I wonder if this is what it was like to hear St. Anthony preach?"
I definitely agree that starting with all the beauty and festivity that the Church provides us with is a great place to start! Even at Mass you can casually make mention of the beautifull flowers, or intricate detail on the priests vestments, etc.. Planting casual non-chalant seeds may yield you some good fruit even if you think they are not paying attention!
As far as the kids not seeing how being Catholic applies in their life, a great book I can recommend is the Loyola Kids Book of Saints by Amy Welborn. She arranges the stories by categories such as: Saints are people who create, or Saints are people who love their families.
The stories start by asking the kids a question such as:
What's your favorite kind of story to read? Do you like mysteries? funny books, etc.." Then eases into tying the question together with a point of why it applies to the particular Saint you are going to read about. It is truly an awesome book!
Remember, God wants all of us to know him, love him, and serve him. He'll give you the grace to lead your children to Him. Just prepare the soil for them to be ready to follow :)
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Mami to ds12,ds11,ds10,ds8,dd7, dd4, and ds 2.
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Barbara C.
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I think example is key, too. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. But you can let them see you drink the water yourself. Discover your joy through faith. Let them see ways in which it is relevant to your life in addition to their life.
And try to find secular relevance to interest them. For instance, with my oldest when I am touching on certain things I will note "You need to learn this not only from a religious/faith perspective, but also because you will hear this concept in the wider world. You will hear cultural references to it, and if you don't understand this, you won't understand what people are talking about."
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Barbara
Mom to "spirited" dd(9), "spunky" dd (6), "sincere" dd (3), "sweet" dd (2), and baby girl #5 born 8/1/12!!
Box of Chocolates
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albeto
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| Posted: Aug 26 2009 at 2:55pm | IP Logged
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Susana wrote:
God Bless you! I will keep you in my prayers.
Some suggestions I have are: |
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Brilliant! Thank you!
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albeto
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Barbara C. wrote:
I think example is key, too. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. But you can let them see you drink the water yourself. Discover your joy through faith. Let them see ways in which it is relevant to your life in addition to their life.
And try to find secular relevance to interest them. For instance, with my oldest when I am touching on certain things I will note "You need to learn this not only from a religious/faith perspective, but also because you will hear this concept in the wider world. You will hear cultural references to it, and if you don't understand this, you won't understand what people are talking about." |
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I think the cultural angle is the only saving grace for my husband. I think it's important to be culturally literate as you say. I also try to offer Christianity as a philosophy for my oldest but that's pretty tough when his dad has a self-rewarding philosophy that's awfully attractive and has immediate rewards. I really don't want to point out when that doesn't work for him because it's like kicking someone when their down. Also, I don't want my kids to see me point to their daddy and tell them what not to do.
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RA's Mom
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I was thinking and praying about this throughout the day yesterday, wondering if I said the wrong thing, knowing that in any case it might not be the right thing for your family. This is so hard. My heart goes out to you.
I want to restate my ideas a little differently. The treat after mass isn't a bribe or trick. It's a way of extending the grace of Sunday beyond the mass. You all need this day to reconnect with one another and to prepare for the week. Spending time together, learning to love, is the most holy thing we can do.
Also, since you don't want to lecture your children on Catholicism (they've had enough of that), you'll probably want to make religious ed. at home pretty self-directed. You could assign your children to write a biography of a saint, memorize a prayer, or read a section of a children's bible but leave the choice of Saint, prayer, book up to them. This will reinforce that these things are important to you but also give them space to explore their faith on their own.
Finally, when the time seems right, talk to them about how you're struggling/striving to incorporate your faith into your daily life and why. Maybe they'll have suggestions.
I hope this is helpful but they're just ideas to take or leave. You've been so good about responding to everyone. God bless you and your family.
Karen
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SuzanneG
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RA's Mom wrote:
| The treat after mass isn't a bribe or trick. It's a way of extending the grace of Sunday beyond the mass. You all need this day to reconnect with one another and to prepare for the week. Spending time together, learning to love, is the most holy thing we can do. |
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This is an important distinction to make! I wanted to write smthg like this yesterday, but didn't have a chance.
And, see if your library has: The Secret Diary of Elisabeth LeSeur to see if it's something you may find inspiration and encouragement!!!!!! A friend of mine is in a situation similar to yours and she read a couple paragraphs of this book every day! It totally kept her putting one foot in front of the other. I learned about Elisabeth LeSeur though her. It's an amazing book for meditation for ALL wives and mothers, but especially for wives w/ husbands who don't share your faith.
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Suzanne in ID
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Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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Milehimama
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Go out on Sunday, because it is a feast and you are celebrating, not as a bribe.
Ask Our Lady to draw your children near her Son. Pray to your children's Guardian Angels.
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Milehimama in Houston
Mother of 11 - 8 Church Militant and 3 Church Triumphant
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albeto
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Milehimama wrote:
Go out on Sunday, because it is a feast and you are celebrating, not as a bribe.
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Yes, this is how I took RA's mom's idea as well.
I'd like to. I will, this next Sunday.
Here's a recent example of what I'm working against: We were driving home yesterday from a 10 visit with dh's family (on the other coast). It was a long visit, not particularly enjoyable, the flight was long, a nd we were driving home at 2:00am the time our bodies had acclimated to. The kids had become uncharacteristically selfish, whiney and lazy due to the differences in households, annoying DH.
Oldest ds had asked if his name was in the bible. It isn't. Youngest ds asked also. Dh mentioned that dd's name is (Rebecca). Oldest ds immediately recalled the story in the bible where Rebecca turned around to see Moses' Ark burning and turned into a pillar of salt. The boys had a raucous laugh about that.
Oldest ds wouldn't stop talking about it. Youngest ds thought the story hilarious because it was silly, dd kept quiet because she recognized it was rude (although she had told me earlier that day "God" just doesn't really matter to her any more - this the child who told me she might grow up to be a nun after reading Mother Teresa's story in these saints series for kids).
My faith is openly mocked in my presence (this was a very mild example, but the theme is constant) and dh either doesn't notice it or doesn't think it's any big deal. So going to Mass is "Mom's bag" and I'm dragging the kids along. I can get behind that. I can get behind stopping at the bagel shop and the Starbucks next door after Mass for a celebration, nice outing, or even bribe (bribery is called something else to those of us used to ABA therapy - it's called "reward" )
I love the idea of pointing out virtues as I "happen" to see them. I love the idea of surrounding them with beauty and reducing the "pollution" of useless t.v., wastes of time, etc. I hope I am not ungrateful to admit I hope my kids have a chance to shake off the last ten days without this conflict of character values. I hope I'm not over reacting. Maybe it's just sleep deprivation...
I'm sorry to complain but I do so appreciate the prayers and the ideas.
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lambchopwife
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I am so sorry that you are going though all of this. I am going to keep you in my prayers. As I am reading all of the wonderful suggestions here the one thing I want to impart to you is that not under any circumstance should you allow your husband to mock your faith. I uinderstand that we are to be obeidient to our spouses, but mocking God does not fall into that category. I have no doubt in my mind that your children feel the way they do about your faith because of your husband. I have a dear friend who's husband is a open agnostic, they have been married for 30 years. He understands how important her faith is to her and respects her for that. Mocking of her faith IS NOT allowed in front of the children. I am not saying your husband does not You need to make it very clear that this is something that is not going away and it is a part of you. I understand where you are coming from as far as where to start with sharing your faith with your children, I have been there myself. I think the ladies on this board are right to tell you to start celebrating with the feasts of the church. The saints stories are all beautiful and inspiring as well, as you have seen with your daughter and Blsd. Mother Theresa. Draw close to Our Lady and she will help you in all things. Pray your rosary everyday and miracles are sure to happen!!!! May God bless you and your family!!!
Cheryl
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~ Be not afraid to tell Jesus that you love Him; even though it be without feeling, this is the way to oblige Him to help you, and carry you like a little child too feeble to walk.~ St. Therese
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Red Cardigan
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albeto wrote:
Oldest ds had asked if his name was in the bible. It isn't. Youngest ds asked also. Dh mentioned that dd's name is (Rebecca). Oldest ds immediately recalled the story in the bible where Rebecca turned around to see Moses' Ark burning and turned into a pillar of salt. The boys had a raucous laugh about that.
Oldest ds wouldn't stop talking about it. Youngest ds thought the story hilarious because it was silly, dd kept quiet because she recognized it was rude (although she had told me earlier that day "God" just doesn't really matter to her any more - this the child who told me she might grow up to be a nun after reading Mother Teresa's story in these saints series for kids).
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I don't know if this will help any, but your oldest son's version of the story is not one I've ever heard!
It is Lot's wife, whose name we do not know, who turned around to see Sodom burning despite the warning not to look back; she was turned into a pillar of salt. Her name is not in the Bible at all!
Rebecca is a beautiful Biblical name. She was the wife of Isaac and the mother of Jacob and Esau. Though her favoritism for her younger son was wrong, God worked through her to advance His plan for salvation. It is a name your daughter can be proud to have.
Since some of your children are struggling with the faith, it might be good to be able to correct them when they are wrong about these sorts of details. Your daughter would not then have been teased, and your sons' participation in this would have fallen flat as you calmly told them that Lot's wife isn't named in the Bible, and that their sister's name is one which is very much honored by those who treasure God's word in the Holy Scriptures.
Just a suggestion--many prayers for you! 
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Paula in MN
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lambchopwife wrote:
| ...not under any circumstance should you allow your husband to mock your faith. I uinderstand that we are to be obeidient to our spouses, but mocking God does not fall into that category. Cheryl |
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I agree with Cheryl's comments. How are things working?
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Help - my kids hate Mass :(
