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JennGM
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| Posted: July 10 2008 at 1:48pm | IP Logged
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My little one (almost 7 months) has been fussy lately. He had a cold for over a week. I thought he was teething, getting used to his new bedtime surroundings -- it wasn't very fussy, but not the nice long sleeps he usually does.
His ear ruptured this morning.  Just saw the doctor, and she confirmed it. Lots of pus. AND running a fever, which I didn't detect, either. Fortunately he'll be feeling better, and this happened before our car trip. Thank God for small blessings.
But don't I feel terrible for not recognizing the symptoms?  I now know he's a gentle complainer, not very vocal, but if he cries, it's pretty serious.
I won't beat myself up...but don't you just feel so sorry for the little babe who can't tell you what's wrong?
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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teachingmyown
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Oh Jenn! Big hug! I have taken a child in to the ped with what I thought was a bad cold just to get it checked out before a vacation, and ended up with a diagnosis of Pneumonia! We all miss things sometimes.
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Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
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KC in TX
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My second dd had asthma and we just had it diagnosed last year at age 4. I thought she just didn't like playing outside for long periods of time. It turns out she couldn't breathe!
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KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
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Willa
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Jenn, I deal with this constantly. Yesterday Aidan started acting funky -- it is very hot here and he was sweating and seemed a bit disoriented. With him, there are lots of things it COULD be --- seizures, serious illness because of his immune compromise-- but I can't rush him to the doctor every time something COULD be happening, or he would not have a quality of life. Interventions are stresses in themselves.
I stayed up late running through the past couple of days -- he was playing in the dirt and I didn't wash his hands before he ate; I was dusting the rafters and knocked down some pretty yucky-looking dust, maybe he inhaled it; and so on and on. The Mommy guilt was intense!
Anyway, he woke up fine. And I bet lots of times when you are worried, the child is fine. It is so hard to judge this and as you say, you have to move on.
I learned when Aidan was spending lots of time in the hospital -- that even the best nurses and doctors make mistakes, but learn to learn from their mistakes. Not that you made a mistake -- but I know that it's such a fearful project being a Mom especially when you have that more melancholic temperament, and a tendency to second-guess.
I have been reading to Patrick about his Guardian Angel and it has struck me that I need to ask my Angel, and my kids', to help make up for my limitations.
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Willa
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amyable
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| Posted: July 10 2008 at 2:46pm | IP Logged
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Willa wrote:
I have been reading to Patrick about his Guardian Angel and it has struck me that I need to ask my Angel, and my kids', to help make up for my limitations.
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What a great idea, I need to remember to do this more often.
Mommy guilt runs high here, too...
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
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PDyer
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| Posted: July 10 2008 at 3:12pm | IP Logged
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Been there, done that, Jenn. Madeline had an apnic episode at home when she was four months old, where she ended up in the hospital for days all the following month. I had no idea she was having that much trouble breathing. I was pretty freaked out for a long time after that.
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Patty
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Matilda
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One more to make you feel better. My oldest daughter had 2 UTIs when she was less than a year old that were treated with plain old over the counter antibiotics and was diagnosed with vesicoureteral reflux. My second DD had a UTI that went undiagnosed for a week before she ended up in the hospital for 3 days on IV antibiotics. I beat myself up so bad for not catching it especially when I had been through it before.
We are human and make mistakes. I think we need to forgive ourselves and thank our Guardian Angels for smacking us upside the head in time even if it was later than we would have preferred.
On the plus side, there was one time I took my son in for a well check and the doc asked, "Did you know he has an ear infection?" WHAT? He had no symptoms and wasn't bothered by it at all. He also got over it with no medication. I would have never known.
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Charlotte (Matilda)
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Willa
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| Posted: July 10 2008 at 3:56pm | IP Logged
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PDyer wrote:
| Been there, done that, Jenn. Madeline had an apnic episode at home when she was four months old, where she ended up in the hospital for days all the following month. I had no idea she was having that much trouble breathing. I was pretty freaked out for a long time after that. |
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Patty's story reminded me.... I was still in the hospital with my newborn, my fourth child. I thought I was sort of an expert mother, by then, you know, with all the right attachment mothering instincts? Sean was nursing, and the nurse came by and said that he was in respiratory distress -- she had heard this little whistling sound that he was making as he nursed. A couple of hours later they took his temperature and it was too low -- he ended up going into a sort of medical crisis and had to be in the NICU for several days.
It really shook me deeply, that I didn't somehow cue into the fact that he wasn't thriving after birth, and that nurses and doctors who didn't know him saw his symptoms more quickly than I did.
Mothering is so personal  .
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Willa
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Barbara C.
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I met a woman a few months ago who said that she had really behavior problems with one of her sons all through childhood. He also got a lot of ear infections. She said it took her five or six years to realize that his behavior always got really out of control a few days before the infection symptoms really flared. So then she would take him to the doctor when he would have one of these episodes and nine times out of ten he would have the start of an ear infection.
She said she felt so guilty for not making the connection before and getting so angry with him and punishing him so much, especially when he was little.
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Barbara
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Carole N.
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Jenn, a big hug from over here! We all go through this. I have been very fortunate with my children as they got older, but when they were younger ... each and everyone has a story of their own. But I will tell you about my oldest ds when he celebrated his first birthday.
I was so excited that he could have milk, so I gave him cream of wheat for breakfast. He was fine, but later got very ill. My dh was working about an hour away from where we lived and we lived in the country. I finally called the doctor and took him in, but it was late in the day. He had a horrible stomach virus (rotovirus, I think it was called). Nothing would stay down.
He would wake up and want something to drink, so we would give him pedialite and wait to see if he could keep it down. It was not until early morning that he began to recover. What a horrible first birthday!
The sad thing was, I had all these plans that I carried on with because I did not realize how sick he was. Took him for pictures, out to lunch with friends, etc. Only in the afternoon did I realize how sick he really was. He was such a trooper! And the great thing is, he still is a trooper ... 
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Maryan
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Oh Jenn...
Barbara C. wrote:
| She said she felt so guilty for not making the connection before and getting so angry with him and punishing him so much, especially when he was little. |
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Done this too. My poor oldest. I should know everytime something crazy happens... like when he was four almost five and wet the sidewalk because he couldn't make the potty... to check his temperature. But I always yell first... and in the middle of "what were you thinking??" I remember that it all seems familar and feel his forehead. It's usually at least 102.
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Maryan
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Becky Parker
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Well, I guess I'll jump in with mine! Two days ago the pediatrician wrote "Failure to Thrive" across the top of my ds's chart and sent me to the hospital for all sorts of tests. I wigged. "Failure to thrive?! This child is hugged, carried, talked to, played with, kissed, etc. more than any other child in our family!" The problem is, he is not gaining any weight. He has stayed at 18 pounds, give or take an ounce, since he was 8 months old. He just turned 1 yesterday. I can't figure it out. I still nurse him on demand, plus I offer table food constantly it seems. He just isn't that interested in eating. I've known this for a while but I just keep thinking one of these days he's going to dive in and start growing like a weed. Now I've got "bad mommy syndrome" big time. It's weird how the nurses treat you when they see that on your chart.
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Becky
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sewcrazy
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| Posted: July 11 2008 at 11:12pm | IP Logged
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Oh been there done that
Last Christmastime my 3 year old jumped off the couch and landed stiff arm. Brief tears, kiss, cuddle, back to play. That night, as I was undressing him, he shrieked when I tried to pull off his shirt. Closer look showed his elbow looked "odd". We headed over to the convenient care. Hair line fracture in his elbow, green stick fracture on the ulna. Try explaining to a dr that you didn't realize your toddler's arm is broken. '
LeeAnn
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LeeAnn
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folklaur
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when my oldest was little, she had gotten sick - and ear infection- her first one, actually. They started her on a sulfa/mix antibiotic. She broke out in a small rash, and we took her to the ER - after waiting hours we were told that that kind of rash was common with the other drug, and to keep giving it to her. Oh, she cried (as did I) when I gave her the next dose. Then later that night - her rash got bad - really, really bad - and she ended up with full blown Steven-Johnsons Syndrome and a week stay in the hospital. She was so bad they kept bringing in residents to show what it looked like. They thought all the HUGE welts all over her 18 month old little body were going to slough off like burned tissue - they actually were sending us to the burn unit because SJS behaves the same.
A last ditch effort with massive doses of steroids helped, and it never got to the that "burn" stage - but she had welts and discolorations for months.
I felt so bad I had kept giving her the medicine. Every instinct I had didn't want to - but I was all of 19 or so and I was listening to the doctors.
I'm a little rash-o-phobic now.
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JennGM
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Wow, thanks ladies, for the "been there, done that". Those incidents do stick with you, don't they? I have some others with my other son, it makes you feel so awful when I remember. But I do entrust my sons to their guardian angel. After all, I can't see and be there for everything!
The little guy is so much better...but I am vindicated that he was teething, too. There's a little sharp edge coming up, his first tooth.
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Jennifer G. Miller
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Tina P.
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sewcrazy wrote:
Try explaining to a dr that you didn't realize your toddler's arm is broken. '
LeeAnn |
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Our crawler (I'm thinking she was nearing 1 or maybe just over at the time) fell off a Step II desk seat on a Saturday morning. She didn't complain, just whimpered and favored one arm when she crawled. I thought that such a short fall couldn't have done much damage. We didn't take her to the hospital until MONDAY! Boy, did I feel like a heel!
On a positive note, that's when she learned to walk.
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Tina P.
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JennGM wrote:
| The little guy is so much better...but I am vindicated that he was teething, too. There's a little sharp edge coming up, his first tooth. |
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Ear infections and teething often happen in tandem.
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sarahb
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Becky Parker wrote:
| Well, I guess I'll jump in with mine! Two days ago the pediatrician wrote "Failure to Thrive" across the top of my ds's chart and sent me to the hospital for all sorts of tests. I wigged. "Failure to thrive?! This child is hugged, carried, talked to, played with, kissed, etc. more than any other child in our family!" The problem is, he is not gaining any weight. He has stayed at 18 pounds, give or take an ounce, since he was 8 months old. He just turned 1 yesterday. I can't figure it out. I still nurse him on demand, plus I offer table food constantly it seems. He just isn't that interested in eating. I've known this for a while but I just keep thinking one of these days he's going to dive in and start growing like a weed. Now I've got "bad mommy syndrome" big time. It's weird how the nurses treat you when they see that on your chart. |
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I PM'ed you about this.:)
Apparently toddler broken bones can easily be missed. Its amazing to me that such little people can be so brave about pain. I do wish there was some sort of magical way to know what is wrong with them when they are unable to tell us.
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Mary G
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Jenn -- around here we call it "receiving the mom of the year award" ... for instance, when now-19 yos was just getting ready to start 1st grade he came in from playing on a sweaty-hot evening in Atlanta and said he fell on his wrist and it hurt. I sent him upstairs to get ready for bed and told him to quit being so whiny (it was one of those days )....
next morning he couldn't get dressed as the "pain was too great"; I took him to the ER and he'd broken his arm  ! I felt like an idiot! And he was old enough to tell me what hurt and I didn't see that it was more than heat and whininess!
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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JennGM
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Mary G wrote:
| Jenn -- around here we call it "receiving the mom of the year award" |
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Yes, we call it "mother of the year award", too.
We had the time our son was reacting to a glass of milk. We thought it was his regular soy milk he was drinking. His voice was going hoarse, his said his mouth felt funny, and we kept telling him to drink his milk to feel better. It wasn't until we went to refill the cup that we realized it was cow's milk, and what was going on was an anaphylactic reaction. Ugh. We can be so blind.
Thank GOD for guardian angels!
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Mommy Guilt
