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Lisbet
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| Posted: May 20 2008 at 3:25pm | IP Logged
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I need some advice here. My oldest daughter is experiencing her first monthly. I prepared her a bit, I suspected it was coming, God takes care of us in so many ways I tell ya. He certainly had a hand in the circumstances leading up to this. (we had some great mother/daughter time just before she started! ;)) BUT, I'm unsure of what she could expect from here on out. How much do I need to know? She is very concerned about swim this summer. What is 'normal' at this tender age? She is 11. This is my first time down this road...
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
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Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Jess
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| Posted: May 20 2008 at 4:58pm | IP Logged
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My oldest dd is also 11 and I suspect she will be starting soon too. Her skin has been breaking out for about a year now and her mood has definately changed, up and down. I am interested in what others who have been through this already have to say. It is definately and new road to go down, huh?
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Jess
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JodieLyn
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No help here.. I'm another with the oldest girl 11 and not quite there yet. We do swim team and I have to admit that I hope it holds off until August so that I can get one more year before having to deal with that (menses and swimming)
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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hylabrook1
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I realize that the length of anyone's period is different from one another, and when my dd's were at this age I was kind of worried about them having really long or heavy periods (like Mom's, even at a young age). As things turned out, they had only 4-5 days and fairly light at that. We were not doing swim team when the girls were of that age, but I know some of the girls who were; their Moms just let the swim coach know that their young ladies wouldn't be able to participate for a few days. No one that I knew ever treated anyone in a way that would make the girls uncomfortable; it was very matter of fact, "Oh, yeah, SuzyQ isn't able to come to practice/the meet today. She'll be here Monday."
Peace,
Nancy
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nicole marie
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I haven't posted on here in such a long time, but thought I would second what Nancy had said. I was very active on swim team when I started my monthly. My Mom and I talked to the coach and simply told her that I may not be able to make every practice. And that seemed to suffice. My Mom did a fantastic job about reassuring me through all those womanly changes. I think I was so afraid that everyone "knew" or could tell that I was having my monthly and that somehow it was disgusting and embarrassing. She did a fantastic job of showing me that no one could tell, and that it was perfectly normal and that all women understand (so if you have a mishap, other women will be there to lend a pad!  ) Her and my Dad helped me feel like I was entering into a new, mysterious and beautiful phase. All of the positive reinforcement at such a confusing time, helped me to be confident and secure as I entered into womanhood.
Hope you enjoy this special time with your daughter!
God bless
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Wife to DH and Mommy to one DD  (07/28/06) and one DS  (11/26/08)!
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LucyP
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I don't want to hijack this thread, but I wondered if there is a good (pref Catholic) book about this topic. I will have at least one daughter, and because of my medical issues have never had a period in my life and had a horrible time in my teenage years to the extent that all the normal developments I did experience were awful to me and most of it is blacked out in my mind. I feel so lost at the thought of guiding DD through something I have never experienced.
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Maria B.
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I wish there was a good book out there, especially a Catholic one. I have gone through this with four of my daughters and am beginning to approach this time of life with my 12 year old. I have used parts of various books to explain everything and help them through their feminine changes. It really is an ongoing process. Initially the focus is the physical changes, but eventually the focus and discussion is on the emotions that your daughter is feeling. The best thing is to reassure your daughter that this is all normal and part of being a woman. I also found that talking about my experiences as a young teen, etc. really engaged my daughters. They seemed to be so much more comfortable knowing that mom went through all this too and somehow survived. Imagine that! The key is, if you start dialogue when she is younger, it will be natural as she goes through her teen years. And always try and not make a big deal about it. I remember when I went shopping for my first bra with my mom. That night at the dinner table my dad announced to everyone how proud he was of me for becoming a beautiful young lady! Not a good thing. I thought my mom was going to kill him! His intention were so good, but hmmm ... definitely not at the right time. Make your talks natural and easy going. Sometime soon, when I have more time, I will post some resources that I have found helpful.
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Loren
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There is a book written specifically for parents to share with their pre-teens about sexuality. Our Power to Love was written as a joint effort between a Catholic priest, a Catholic doctor, and a Catholic nurse who also started an organization to teach this subject. Family Honor presents classes to parents and teens and is very obedient to Church teaching in this area, incorporating the Theology of the Body. The book might not address swimming, but does a great job of addressing the respect deserved by all women and the beauty of the changes that take place in adolescence.
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Waverley
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I think how we treat this momentous event in the life of our daughters really sets the stage for how they feel about their bodies, their sexuality, and themselves.
I treated my daughters news that she started her monthly with joy. I hugged her and we had a private celebration. She went from feeling uncomfortable and slightly ashamed to feeling postiive and blessed. They are becoming women!! We talked about what this means, the responsibility that it is, God's beautiful design of us, etc.
Good luck to you.
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asplendidtime
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Loren wrote:
| There is a book written specifically for parents to share with their pre-teens about sexuality. Our Power to Love was written as a joint effort between a Catholic priest, a Catholic doctor, and a Catholic nurse who also started an organization to teach this subject. Family Honor presents classes to parents and teens and is very obedient to Church teaching in this area, incorporating the Theology of the Body. The book might not address swimming, but does a great job of addressing the respect deserved by all women and the beauty of the changes that take place in adolescence. |
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I was wondering if you have a link for the Power to Love book... I tried to Google it, but no luck. This is timely, as dh and I were starting to talk about this a bit, we hopefully have a little more time.  I bought a used book published by American Girls that I thought was about hygiene for girls, and I quickly realized it had more in it than I was prepared to share, or that our little guys needed to get hold of in a book.  So dh asked me to try to find a nice Catholic book.
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Red Cardigan
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I, too, just used bits and pieces--I had DH "edit" a couple of line drawings from the NFP book, too!  The hard part for me was wanting them very much to know about all the changes going on in their bodies, and how these changes were tied to God's glorious plan for motherhood as a possible vocation for all women--and yet wanting to leave the "men's part" out for the time being.
So my girls learned about their bodies and what to expect; one DD started at age 11 and one month, while the second, almost 11 and a half, hasn't yet (and the 10 y.o. has finally to her great excitement actually needed a certain undergarment we won't mention!) None has yet asked more about the man's role or about marriage other than the understanding that the creation of a baby does require something special from one's husband, and I'm fine with that for now.
The thing is, I had my "talk" with my oldest DD when she was just turning 10, because some female relatives had started their cycles that young and I wanted her to be prepared, not upset. So even the "talk with pre-teens" books often delved into matters that I just didn't even want to address; my girls trust me to tell them "the rest of the story" when they're old enough!
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Loren
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8smallones wrote:
I was wondering if you have a link for the Power to Love book... |
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You can order it from the Family Honor site linked in my previous post, along with other resources both printed and audiovisual. You should read it before you go through it with your kids, though. It explains all about the "plumbing," both male and female. It also goes into the emotional and physical changes their bodies will undergo. OPTL is not a hygiene manual, but instead a guide to proper use of our sexuality.
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asplendidtime
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Thanks Loren!
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Loren
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You're very welcome.
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websterm
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When my daughter had her first period at 11, she didn't have another for about a year! My OB said that was perfectly normal. One thing I did do for my daughter when she started, was made a big deal out of it. I took her for dinner and shopping for new pretty undies. I wanted her to understand that this was the beginning of becoming a woman, and that it should be celebrated.
Marcia
My Thoughts While Learning
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Maria B.
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FYI, I tried to order a few things from the Family Honor website and was not able to do so. I contacted them and they said their website is not currently accepting orders, but will be up and running this weekend.
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melanie
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Catholic Heritage Curricula sells a great little book called "The Joyful Mysteries of Life" that gives nice little chapters to introduce all this info bits at a time as your child is ready. Can be used for both boys and girls too. :)
My 11yo hasnt' started yet, but I anticipate it will be any time now. She has a lot of other stuff going on. :) We've also had lots of great discussions about various topics with the coming birth of this baby...opens a lot of windows when the age is right...lol.
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Syncletica
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There's "Mother's Little Helper"
Mother's Little Helper
That deals with this topic somewhat. Maybe someone will find it useful.
There's also "Listen Son" which deals with boy-becoming-man issues. Both are published by Angelus Press.
Listen Son
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Lisbet
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Thanks everyone. Luckily, communication is good with her, and so far it's all been smooth. I ordered both of the books Syncletica recommended. Melanie, Abby has been with me for the birth of 3 of her siblings now, so that certainly does help!
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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MichelleW
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My daughter started last week. She just turned 9. She is doing great. I am a basket case.
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Michelle
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Girls on the brink of womanhood
