Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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JennGM
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Posted: Aug 31 2005 at 9:33pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

Cay Gibson wrote:
The dresses (even for little girls) are pretty awful.

jenngm67 wrote:
I dislike the "peasant" and sloppy look.


I can agree with the *sloppy* look but my 15 yr old and I love teh *peasant* skirts. There's something *prettily Cajun* in them. Call it a culture thing.


I have some sisters that look great in the peasant look...it's just not me, that's all. It's a matter of personal taste. I agree about the Cajun look....it looks cute...just not on me.

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Posted: Aug 31 2005 at 9:38pm | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

Genevieve wrote:
I was wondering if anyone else *feels* different when they wear more modest clothes. I was inspired a few months ago by the modesty thread to try out wearing more modest clothes and skirts, and well I feel different. I even act different. My husband thinks I actually act more gentle when I have my skirt on. I'm beginning to wonder whether being gentle is a virtue more so than a nature. Am I making sense? I feel like I'm making a science project out of this whole experience.

You're making perfect sense Genevieve and I agree wholeheartedly. For me, the only glitch in wearing very feminine skirts all the time is productivity. I DO find that when I'm wearing a skirt, I'm less inclined to dig in and clean or to be as active as I usually am. Not sure yet if that's because all my skirts and such are new clothes and I don't have any "knock around" ones or because I'm truly encumbered by them or because they aren't as wash and wearable as sweatshirts. Often, I'll stay in my workout clothes until I've complete morning housework, thereby delaying my shower considerably. But I do act more ladylike when I'm wearing a skirt. And some of the men around here have noticed as well.

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Karen T
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Posted: Aug 31 2005 at 9:58pm | IP Logged Quote Karen T

Erica Sanchez wrote:
And, it is not just teenagers. I've seen more skin, espcially cleavage, on women my age at the grocery store lately - uugghh! Thankfully, we are trying not to raise "average" girls!!
.....


I went to my daugher's preschool open house today (sorry, she goes a few mornings a week so I can work with the boys, kindergarten and 12 yo - I'm still pretty new at this!) Anyway, one of the moms had squatted down by the kids' table where her son was coloring. I had left the room and returned, and there in front of me was this woman's entire backside, complete with leopard print thong, which was hiked up out of her pants when she squatted down and the pants went down, too. Ugh! I wanted to show her a mirror but I don't know her well enough LOL! There must have been 20 people who passed by in the hall and saw it.

Now, here's a question I've been wanting to ask anyway, and maybe fits into this topic:
My 12 yo son has played with the girl next door since they were preschoolers. She is a grade behind him but only 6 mos by age. Although the neighbors are pleasant enough, the situation there has always bothered me. First, the house is owned by the (divorced) grandmother, and the girl (DJ)'s parents moved in with her when they had a high school pregnancy. This lasted about 10 yrs, and they had another baby, then dad moved out when baby was about a month old. Within a month, mom was dating a new man and a few mos later he moved in. All this time, I have tried to limit my son's contact without being to obvious to the neighbors. When the boyfriend moved in (has been there now about a year and he does at least work now) we said Shane could no longer be inside their house. Also, at this time the kids have of course gotten a good bit older. DJ, even as a 6 yr old, has always dressed provocatively, wearing a long skirt, but slit up to her hipbone, high heels and perfume, etc. Now, she has taken to wearing skirts that don't even cover her underwear in the back. She wears these to middle school; don't know how that passes there but makes me glad Shane never went.
I am really worried at how precocious this girl is, and with the typical middle/high school attitude around here about s*x, that there is going to be some conversation and possibly more. My son is not interested in girls, other than as friends, but he's also desparate for friends. He's WAY too peer-dependent, which was the biggest reason I pulled him out of school after 5th grade.    Also, it makes me so sad to see this girl like this, and her mom totally oblivious to what is going to happen eventually. Or maybe she'll be happy if DJ is popular?
For others who have had a similar situation, how did you handle it? I am considering having some clothing guidelines where Shane can't play with her unless she's appropriately covered, but I don't know how to approach this ... with him, with her, or her mom.
I'd love for him to spend more time with other friends, but with her next door, it's hard to avoid her, and she's often home when other kids aren't (her mom picks her up from school, which shaves an hour off the usual busride - most kids get home at 5:15)

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Posted: Aug 31 2005 at 10:31pm | IP Logged Quote Marybeth

I took my ds to Pizza Hut today and the conversation at the next table was a bit intense for me. I could not believe how much these woman were revealing in their attire, manner and discussion. My ds was across the table from me and didn't hear them. Thank God!!!! I would have had to move had he been able to get an earful of their lives.

I was just so sad for them when I left. I don't mean to judge them, but they just seemed to have this hard edge to their whole demeanor.

I need to add them to my prayer list.

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Posted: Sept 01 2005 at 7:31am | IP Logged Quote Genevieve

Elizabeth wrote:
   For me, the only glitch in wearing very feminine skirts all the time is productivity.


Although for my productivity does go down, I can rev it up flylady style. Running shoes, quick pace music and hair tied back (the last is remarkably effective for some strange reason) and off, off I go. Of course the prettier the clothes, the slower I become.

So did you literally throw out all non-skirts/dresses? My set is relatively new so I'm having attachment problems.

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Posted: Sept 01 2005 at 10:00am | IP Logged Quote Mary Chris

Genevieve wrote:
So did you literally throw out all non-skirts/dresses?


I pretty much did. Well some were too small anyway so they had to go . I need to get some shorts for riding bikes with my little ones. We are a two wheel family now according to ds5, he no longer uses training wheels .
I bought mainly knee length or just above skirts from Fresh Produce that do not slow me down too much.
I do think I need to keep some jeans and maybe pick up a pair of capris. It is possible to hike and jump over creeks in skirts, but I'd rather not .

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Posted: Sept 01 2005 at 1:22pm | IP Logged Quote BrendaPeter

I find if my skirt is full enough, I can do ALOT! I bought a couple of the $19.99 bias-cut denim skirts from Blair. I consider these my uniform. I could really use something fuller though, but am not sure I want to splurge for the $79 ones at Orvis. The Blair skirts mostly limit me when I play badminton with my kids !

Many of my skirt/dress-wearing friends report the same effects - they feel and act much more feminine! I love it that I'm always "prepared" - i.e. when someone visits like our piano teacher or a delivery person, I'm all "put together" with a skirt & occasionally an apron, depending on what I'm doing.

I've considering buying a case of "Dressing with Dignity" and to put in the back of my church. Sad, that today's sorrid fashions have made their way into the pews .

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Posted: Sept 01 2005 at 2:01pm | IP Logged Quote Mary G

BrendaPeter wrote:
I've considering buying a case of "Dressing with Dignity" and to put in the back of my church. Sad, that today's sorrid fashions have made their way into the pews .


My poor dh teaches at a slightly upscale private, Catholic school is soooo embarrassed when the moms who are (ahem) slightly overweight come to pick up their kids in short, tight and really revealing tennis outfits. Now, granted it can get pretty warm here in the Carolinas, but I'm not sure that's why they're wearing them.......and the school has a dress code that would preclude the students wearing such outfits....go figure



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Posted: Sept 01 2005 at 4:46pm | IP Logged Quote JackieH

I recently finished reading Dressing with Dignity. I find myself changing clothes several times during the day! I'll wear shorts around the house, but when we go out I'll change into something more appropriate! I really thought I was doing well in my style of dress, until I read that book. I've been dressing conservatively for years. I think it will be challenging this winter to wear skirts and dresses all the time.   


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Posted: Sept 01 2005 at 5:19pm | IP Logged Quote Laura

Wow, this topic hits too close to home! I have struggled in this area, ridden the fence, jumped the fence, come back, etc...
A few years back I was wearing Mennonite dresses, and a head covering. My husband hated it and my children's friends said I looked like someone from a long long time ago.
Then I went with the frumpy jumper look (I am not implying that jumpers themselves are fumply....just me!)
Then I went back to jeans and tees.
Now I always wear dresses and a lace covering (Tridentine) to church, but I do wear pants at home and when I am out and about.
Yes, I do feel way more feminine, gentle, and pleasant in a dress not to mention modest.
I wanted to order Dressing with Dignity as it was written by a Catholic and I had only had Protestant views on this matter in the past.
I am still torn on this issue, but my husband likes for me to wear jeans.....hum, I wonder why?
That Nordstrom's add is way ridiculous.
Now when it comes to my Senior daughter....she sometimes wears things that I don't like, but overall she is modest and has her own style. Of course it is a whole lot easier to be modest in the winter time...love them winter clothes!
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Posted: Sept 01 2005 at 5:23pm | IP Logged Quote Genevieve

marychris wrote:
I bought mainly knee length or just above skirts from Fresh Produce that do not slow me down too much.
.

*sigh* no online shopping... very pretty clothes though....

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Posted: Sept 01 2005 at 5:36pm | IP Logged Quote Genevieve

I'm slowly working through my bottoms. What about tops? I imagine spaghetti straps and plunging necklines are out but then what....? Do you have any guidelines... Inspired by the gentle nature I seemed to have somehow misplaced in past 20 years, I am woefully ignorant about modesty unless it is blatant. I tried staring at myself in pants and couldn't fantom why guys would even direct their eyes *there*...



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Posted: Sept 01 2005 at 6:57pm | IP Logged Quote Marybeth

I have gotten some modest tops at Kohls, JCPennys, Old Navy and Ann Taylor Loft.
The Fresh Produce clothes are adorable. I love the colors.
I wish we had the $$$$ for a whole new wardrobe.
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Posted: Sept 01 2005 at 7:15pm | IP Logged Quote Genevieve

Another question... I have only tried this skirt thing during summer... when winter comes along then what? Those tights I see at hanna Anderson?

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JennGM
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Posted: Sept 01 2005 at 7:19pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

Genevieve wrote:
Another question... I have only tried this skirt thing during summer... when winter comes along then what? Those tights I see at hanna Anderson?


I haven't done the tights. If it's too cold outside, I wear wool pants or cords. But I wear wool skirts, longer, fuller, or kilt-like skirts...the lower on the legs, the less covering.

I haven't tried those tights yet...the winters here are pretty mild and I don't go out much when it's cold.

But then you can also do boots to wear with your skirts. If you have a longer skirt with a boot, it looks nice.

Just my opinion....

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Posted: Sept 02 2005 at 6:28am | IP Logged Quote Mary G

jenngm67 wrote:
Genevieve wrote:
Another question... I have only tried this skirt thing during summer... when winter comes along then what? Those tights I see at hanna Anderson?


I haven't done the tights. If it's too cold outside, I wear wool pants or cords. But I wear wool skirts, longer, fuller, or kilt-like skirts...the lower on the legs, the less covering.

I haven't tried those tights yet...the winters here are pretty mild and I don't go out much when it's cold.

But then you can also do boots to wear with your skirts. If you have a longer skirt with a boot, it looks nice.

Just my opinion....


Another thing I've done is wear knee socks or if we've gotten a real cold snap, I will put on dance leggings (the kind with no feet) ro even thermal underwear and then pull socks over the ankles. Since I knit, I have some pretty wild socks that peep out under my skirts !

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Posted: Sept 02 2005 at 6:46am | IP Logged Quote Becky Parker

We get some cold winters here in Michigan. I was really concerned about how I was going to keep warm when I switched to skirts, but really, I found that if I wear tights or leggings under my skirts I actually stay warmer than I did in jeans. I make sure to buy the most simple type of legging I can - and make sure they are a little snug because I don't need any (more ) bumps and bulges going on under my skirts. As mentioned above, coupling this with a pair of boots not only looks nice but it really keeps me warm.   
Another benefit I found with skirts that really surprised me was how much nicer it is to camp in them! We tent camp a lot and I have experienced all sorts of shower conditions in camp grounds. Sometimes, the floor is really awful, and while I keep my sandles on it was always really hard to get my jeans on without them getting wet from the wet floor. With a skirt, I just pull it over my head and it works like a charm!!
On the other hand, we do canoe / kayak a lot too. Because getting in and out is a bit of a challenge in a skirt, (and a skirt would have been aweful - and not modest AT ALL! when, with friends one weekend, we had to climb over a downed tree in the river while hanging onto our kayaks at the same time) I make sure I have one pair of capris just for that purpose!
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Posted: Sept 02 2005 at 8:12am | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

To answer Genevieve's question, I did give away most of my pants and all but one pair of shorts. For the past couple of years, when the transition to spring came and I brought out my shorts, I felt increasingly naked. I looked around on the soccer sidelines one day in early spring this year and decided almost none of the moms really should be wearing shorts ! I kept a couple of pairs of capris that were nearly new and I kept capris to work out in. After thirteen years of maternity and then postpartum and then maternity clothes again, I need new clothes anyway. So, I just promised myself I would buy anything that wasn't feminine and modest. Slowly, my new wardrobe is taking shape. I made some mistakes. A couple of my skirts for the summer were too heavy a knit and so I felt hot in the dog days of August. I don't like skirts above the knee, so I found long, loose rayon to be my favorites. For the winter, I bought 3 of the same Eddie Bauer denim riding skirts. I figured I had three pairs of the same jeans; these will just replace those. Now, I will say that when it was 100 degrees a couple of weeks ago and my boys were playing on an artificial turf field (literally twenty degrees hotter and putting out some serious heat), I was wishing I was wearing shorts and a tank top like everyone else! For the late fall and winter, when we've been known to watch soccer in freezing rain or even snow , I think I will wear my flannel jeans. I'll have a parka on anyway, so my legs will only show from the knees down. And I still have my eye on those riding boots Jenn pointed out last spring!

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Posted: Sept 02 2005 at 11:06am | IP Logged Quote Sarah

I've been wearing only dresses/skirts for 11 years now. I don't own a pair of shorts or pants. For the first few years I occasionally would put on a pair of shorts/pants. I had the idea that I couldn't garden or play outdoors with the kids in a skirt. I've overcome this and I have less expensive skirts to wear if they are going to get dirty. We have extensive gardens at our house and I get right right into them. I do all my houeswork in them. There are knit skirts out there that bend right with you. I do get self-conscious at times-at sporting events, when my neighbors see me gardening, etc. but I have decided to continue for three reasons:
1-as an offering of reparation for the clothes I wore in my teen/early 20's. I will have to answer/pay for leading men into sin with my clothing.
2-As an act of reparation for the modern styles
3-for my kids to see a good feminine example. They are very interesting now that they've seen how I dress. They encourage my siblings/inlaws to dress more appropriately and they are just little kids. I keep my mouth shut and let them speak. After my sister, who is very "in" in her dressing, visited here and heard my kids comments and had my preschooler try to pull down her belly shirt so it would cover, she went out and bought some long skirts at Old Navy and some longer shirts. Kids don't have an agenda and just see it the way it should be.

Also, its important to avoid looking like a frumpy, dumpy homeschooling mom steriotype. Look for decent clothes, wear decent looking shoes (but practical) with your skirts. There are modest clothes out there if you look a little bit. If your skirts are longer, you can wear cotton cable knee-hi socks with your skirts in the winter. I wear stylish boots in the winter and I get so many compliments. Check Orvis or Sierra Trading Post for the boots, Hannah Andersson or Vermont Country store for the socks. Christopher and Banks has skirts if you have one locally. Motherhood Maternity has long black knit skirts that even work when you are not PG. Talbots always has a 70% clearance after each season, although they have less skirts this year.

Finally, I don't believe it is sinful to wear modest pants or long shorts. Sometimes a tight-fitting long skirt is more immodest than a nice pair of longer shorts.

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Posted: Sept 02 2005 at 1:38pm | IP Logged Quote Genevieve

Elizabeth,

Where did you get your rayon skirts?

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