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Bella
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| Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 9:33am | IP Logged
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Hello,
I am trying to figure out what would be best for my DD. She will be in 5th grade, and in our parish, that is Confirmation year. I prepared her at home for her 1st Holy Communion, and she went through the Sacrament with another HS girl her age. Things have changed now. Our's is the only HS family in our parish. The priest has made it clear to me that he doesn't approve of HSing. (Just no support in the parish whatsoever.) And our Bishop doesn't approve of HSing either.
Things get a little more complicated, as I am a four year convert, and am not feeling that confident to prepare her at home.
Also, the CCD classes would be in the same school where she had a traumatic school experience. She started having severe panic attacks a little over a week ago, and when I took her in the building to get signed up for CCD, she had a horrible panic attack. The lady who would be her teacher looked at me like I was a freak when I mentioned that we HS.   
I have to make up my mind soon. Tomorrow I am taking DD to a therapist, and am hoping she will help with a lot of things. It;s justthe urgency of signing her up is breathing down my back.
Any ideas,advice,info. would be greatly appreciated.
Thankyou,
Christy
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Taffy
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| Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 9:45am | IP Logged
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Well, I'm hoping that someone will chime in with more helpful advice, but my first thought at reading your post was that 5th grade is a bit young for confirmation anyways. Maybe it would be best to postpone it for a year and look at your options in the meantime? After all, there's no point in doing it before your daughter is ready and able to handle the requirements.
Too bad about the poor (nonexistent) support for homeschooling. In my parish, homeschooling for faith education is the norm for those who live outside the community that the parish is located in (we live in a nearby village). Maybe explaining why your daughter will have difficulties with attending the school for CCD with her future teacher will help too?
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Susan
Mom to 5 on earth and 1 in heaven
Susan's Soliloquy
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margot helene
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| Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 11:06am | IP Logged
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Oh Christy,
I feel for you and your daughter. I agree that holding off for a while may be a good solution for now. After you assess what is going on through the therapy, you can better plan what would be best for her.
If you decide to approach your pastor about homeschooling for the sacrament prep, my advice is have a plan in mind and be confident. You can explain her special situation (with back-up from the therapist if needed) and show what materials you plan to use. You can say that you will use their materials, but plan to supplement with such and such. If you have it laid-out and present an "I know what I'm doing" but tactful front, your pastor may be persuaded. To prepare all that, you may need time!!
I'll be praying for you and your dd!
Margot
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folklaur
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| Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 11:11am | IP Logged
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I have panic attacks. If your daughter is experiencing them because of this, that is no good! You don't want her associating memories of her Confirmation with panic and anxiety.
Let her wait, see if therapy might help with coping skills, and as was mentioned, when you DO go see the DRE, have a plan.
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CKwasniewski
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| Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 11:21am | IP Logged
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Christy,
I know this might sound radical, but in addition to waiting, I think you might also consider finding another parish, priest and/or diocese to work with. For example, at the grandparents place? Then you could arrange a trip and have the sacrament done there.
There are plenty of priests and bishops who are okay with someone coming from outside their diocese for various reasons. These are esp. the more traditionally minded people, who usually are friendly to homeschooling.
I know of people in CA who went all the way down to Mexico for their kids' confirmations just so they would not have to go through the cruddy CCD program.
Finally, you should feel confident that you CAN teach her. The grace of the sacrament of matrimony gives you what you need to do that. If you feel like you need to do a little more research and reading, then that's okay too. There is no rush!
Blessings,
CK
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cathhomeschool
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| Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 4:27pm | IP Logged
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I think that you should wait as well.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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Paula in MN
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I agree -- wait! In our parish Confirmation occurs in 8th grade. I think that is a great age for the responsibility being undertaken. I was confirmed in 3rd Grade - I was 8 years old - I remember NOTHING of the instructions we received or the actual ceremony. I'm making sure my children are older than I was!
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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Bella
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| Posted: Aug 18 2007 at 1:04pm | IP Logged
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HI Ladies,
Thankyou for your replies.
I need to make it clear that the panic attacks(and now we know she also has generalized anxiety) are not because of the possibility of CCD or prep for Confirmation. It just so happened that the day before the first signup was the city championship swimmeet-and the night before that she had her first severe panic attack-and then another one in the night, two the next day. So, that was Friday and Saturday...then Sunday was when I went to sign her up for CCD(half a block from us BTW), and she started to have a panic attack. Other than that, she would be ready and capable.
The therapist said to wait for now-and was shocked when I described to her the school experience DD went through-agreeing that would be traumatic.
While I agree that 5th grade is too young, that is what our Diocese does-and from what I understand, ours is the most traditionally conservative. I have no where else to take her in a couple of years. And yes, just because our priest plainly dislikes our family decisons, and the principal of our parish school won't even pretend to be kind, we will be attending church elsewhere-even though we live 1/2 block away! 
Not sure what we will be doing-our family is in a bit of a crisis with the constant panic attacks-and Laura- I have sufferred from them also-trying to deal with DD's all the while mine have increased. and Oh! The horrible mommy guilt that dd has learned all of this from me! But that is a whole differnt thread!
Sorry for rambling. Thanks for your help.
Warmly,
Christy
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Topic: CCD or Confirmation prep at home?
