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Marybeth
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| Posted: July 09 2005 at 7:55pm | IP Logged
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Hello Moms,
I need some help/advice on how to help my niece who will be staying with me for five days when her Mom gives birth. I was just wondering what I can do to help with the transition since Emma will be with me and go home to a Mom having had a c-section and a new sister.
This is not in my realm of experience (unfortunately) since I was too young to remember my little brother coming home from the hospital and have only one child myself.
My sil is a great person she just doesn't prepare for emotional experiences. I know a new baby brings a period of adjustment for everyone and would like to help make things a bit smoother for my niece.
Any help would be greatly appreciated!! God bless.
Marybeth
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PDyer
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| Posted: July 10 2005 at 3:00pm | IP Logged
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You might find this book helpful.
The Night You Were Born
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Patty
Mom of ds (7/96) and dd (9/01) and two angels (8/95 and 6/08)
Life at Home
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mi4ol
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| Posted: July 15 2005 at 6:54pm | IP Logged
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For what it's worth, I used to teach a sibling orientation class at a hospital's birth center. How old is Emma and does she know about the baby at all? It's usually helpful to give them a very simple, basic idea of where baby is in mom (womb=room NOT tummy) and let them know about a special path God has made for baby to come out. Or, in this case, let her know for special reasons the baby has to come out another way. Even a little one can understand being tired and achy... Be sure no matter what or how much you explain you let her know that MOM is sore and tired, DO NOT let her think it's the baby's fault!
I hope she'll get to visit and peak at mom and baby daily? It also helps to put it into the perspective that Emma's lucky that she gets to do special things with Aunty- don't let it be a get her out of the way circumstance. Babe will be getting lots of presents and cards. It really helps if Emma gets recognition and goodies, too. They don't have to be expensive or very many. Maybe some family and friends could offer her big sister gifts. Maybe Emma would have fun making or buying a gift she could give baby. At my classes and again for my boys (I have 3 ds's) we gave the older siblings "I'm the big brother/sister" t-shirts. Baby would sometimes get matching "I'm the little brother/sister" t-shirts from the older sibling. If your hospital doesn't have such things, they weren't very expensive to have printed at a t-shirt shop. Let's see what else... It was very helpful for the kids 4 and older to get a tour of the room where mom would be staying before she checked in. Check out the bed and get a ride on it as it was raised and lowered, see the phone, TV, bathroom, etc. When Emma visits, and especially when she goes home, it may be useful for someone else to be holding Babe so mom can give her undivided hugs and attention and take her over to introduce Babe.
Oh, yes! A very important thing to teach is how to hold Babe. We used dolls in the classes for all ages to practice with. The little ones learned well by saying "use the inside of your elbow for a pillow and reach your other arm across baby's tummy to hold her close so she can't roll off".
I hope this helps a bit- perhaps I should have waited to find out how old Emma and fine-tuned things a little. Hav fun during this special time. And may God bless you for such a wonderful act of mercy.
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God bless,
Debbie
Do whatever He tell you. John 2:5b
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Marybeth
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| Posted: July 15 2005 at 9:05pm | IP Logged
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Debbie,
Thank you so much for all your wisdom. Emma will be 3 by the time her little sister is born. She has been told she will be a big sister and the baby is coming soon. I just want to help in anyway I can with the transition. We have a gift for Emma and have many fun things planned while she stays with us. I am going to talk to my sil about holding a doll and getting a t-shirt made.
Thanks again very much!
God bless,
Marybeth
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MaryM
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Here is a list of books about new siblings and transitions that might be helpful (in addition to the one Patty recommended). I particularly like the William and Martha Sears books, the Robie Harris books, and the Lizzy Rockwell book.
101 Things to Do with a Baby, by Jan Ormerod. Full-color illustrations by the author. 32 pp. Lothrop, Lee, & Shepard Books, 1984.
101 pictures of a baby and his interactions with family members.
Aren't You Lucky! by Catherine Anholt. Full color illus. by the author. 28 pp. Little, Brown & Co., 1990. Out of print.
Although everyone says she’s lucky, big sister doesn’t feel lucky after arrival of new baby. As baby grows she finds many ways to help and baby ends up being the lucky one to have a fun big sister. Several pictures of fun interaction between sister and baby.
Baby on the Way, by William/Martha Sears and Christine Kelly, Little, Brown and Co., 2001
Shows a family getting ready for the arrival of a new baby with explanations of what mother is going through. Includes sidebars with ideas and activities for children preparing for the arrival of new sibling.
Big Like Me, Anna Grossnickle Hines, Random House, 1989.
Month by month account of all the things a big brother is going to teach his little sibling.
Happy Birthday, Harris, Robie, illustrations by Michael Emberley, Candlewick Press, 1996
This beautifully illustrated book tells a child about how he was born. It shows the loving interaction of both mother and father with the newborn. The overall message is how much this baby is loved.
Hello Baby, by Lizzy Rockwell, Crown Publishers Inc, 1999.
A big brother learns about the development of the baby that will be born. Positive portrayal of the preparation and the adjustment to new baby.
Hello Benny! by Robie Harris, illustrations by Michael Emberley, Candlewick Press, 2002.
It is the story of Benny and his first year with typical baby development. Side boxes explain various elements of the book. Funny book.
Hi New Baby! by Robie Harris, illustrations by Michael Emberley, Candlewick Press, 2000.
Story of a big sister and the new baby in her life. She is not so pleased to have baby around at first.
My Mama Needs Me, by Mildred Pitts Walter. Full-color illus. by Pat Cummings. 32 pp. Lothrop, Lee & Shepard Books, 1983.
Jason doesn’t fell like his mama needs him after new baby is born. He wants to help feed her but mother explains baby gets milk from her breast. He ends up helping by rubbing her head to keep her interested in suckling when she stops nursing.
Sophie and the New Baby, by Catherine Anholt, illustrated by Laurence Anholt, Albert Williams & Co., 1995.
Whimsical, watercolor illustrations with story of little girl goes through the seasons anticipating the arrival of a new baby. Deals with the challenges of adjustment when the new baby finally arrives including her feelings of not wanting him around any more. Reassuring story of dealing with the feelings and the adjustment.
Welcome, Little Baby, by Aliki. Full color illustrations by the author. 24 pp. William Morrow, 1987.
Short, simple text expressing love for a growing baby.
Welcoming Babies, by Margy Burns Knight. Full-color illus. by Anne Sibley O'Brien. Tilbury House, 1994.
Each page describes a tradition or celebration that accompanies the arrival of a baby. It covers a variety from around the world, encompassing many cultures and faith traditions.
What Baby Needs, by William/Martha Sears and Christine Kelly, Little, Brown and Co., 2001
Great information about new babies and what they need. It is written to help new siblings know what to expect and offers ways to be involved. Baby shown nursing, co-sleeping, being carried in sling.
Will There Be a Lap for Me? by Dorothy Corey. Full-color illus. by Nancy Poydar. 24 pp. Albert Whitman & Co., 1992.
About a boy who loves his mother’s lap but has been loosing space as her pregnant belly grows. He is anxious for baby to be born so that he can have room again. After baby is born he is sad because she is still so busy but realizes if he asks she still has time and pace to hold him on her lap.
Two lift-the-flap books are What's Inside and And After That by Jeanne Ashbe. The first is preparation and "what's inside mommy's tummy", the second is a what happens after various situations book including a little while after the baby is born "you'll be great friends."
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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saintanneshs
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And don't forget to teach the new big sis a lullaby or 2 to sing to her new baby!(maybe on your lap while you rock her--since it will probably be awhile before she gets rocked by mommy...)
Wow, Mary...thanks for posting that great list of books. I'm always looking for "new baby" books to prepare my littles for one more.
Great suggestions, Debbie!
Good luck with preparing your niece for the transition, Marybeth. How generous of you to take her for almost a whole week. Please share how your time together goes!
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Kristine
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Marybeth
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| Posted: July 19 2005 at 7:48am | IP Logged
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Great book list!! Thanks so much. I am going to look on line and see what my library has to offer.
I appreciate it! 
Marybeth
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Mare
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Marybeth,
What a wonderful Aunt you are!  Our oldest was a newly turned 2 yr. old when her siblings were born. To be honest, we didn't read any books about it or make a big deal about being a sibling. We matter of factly told our dd that there would be lots and lots of crying, lots of feedings and lots of diaper changings. She was more than welcomed to be a helper if she so choosed. We also explained that when the babies were sleeping then it would be special mommy and me time. Many times dh would join us.
I think laying out the reality of having a newborn was very helpful. The adjustment went incredibly well. Enjoy your time with your neice. My dd looks back fondly on the outings and visits with her aunts and uncles.
Peace,
Mare
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Marybeth
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| Posted: Aug 30 2005 at 8:42am | IP Logged
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Well, we begin our adventure tonight! My sil has a scheduled c-section tomorrow morning.
My dh, ds and myself are looking forward to our time with Emma and can't wait to meet the new baby.
Thanks again for all your suggestions and hints.
God bless,
Marybeth
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mi4ol
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Have fun!! Let us know how things went.
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God bless,
Debbie
Do whatever He tell you. John 2:5b
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Marybeth
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| Posted: Sept 01 2005 at 7:30pm | IP Logged
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Allison Louise was born 8/31 weighing in at 8 lbs and 20 inches long. Mom and baby are doing well! 
We had a great time with Emma. Thanks again for all your suggestions. Did I have a blast getting to choose her outfits the last few days! Girl clothes!
I have to admit her hair wasn't as cute as when her Mom does it. 
Thanks again for all your suggestions!
God bless,
Marybeth
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mi4ol
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Congratulations to all!!! What a blessing you were to the family Marybeth!
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God bless,
Debbie
Do whatever He tell you. John 2:5b
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Helping little one with new arrival
