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MarilynW
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Alice had a great article on Catholic exchange today:
http://www.catholicexchange.com/node/61661
I wanted to respond to the email response - but I could not think up an eloquent reply.
I know that there are many of us who are part of the "Catholic poor" or maybe "Catholic struggling to make ends meet" who have large families. Maybe someone else can email a response?
It is possibly the most common reason people quote (in my very affluent area!!!) for not having more children - I have received so many comments about not being able to provide "opportunites" for the children, paying for their college etc etc.
I have so many great responses in my head - just cannot always get them out to sound the right way.
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mrsgranola
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Well, my response was not the best in the world but I just let it all out the best I could. I was too ticked NOT to say something, anything. Sorry, I"m not a very eloquent writer. ;-/
JoAnna
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Lisbet
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Oh my, I was just SHOCKED to read those replies. That article was so beautiful, just so beautiful. I left a lame reply. I just don't get it, at all.
We live very very much week to week. We are going through a rather 'lean' time right now too. I am not a college educated professional woman by any stretch. I've done nothing but bear and raise babies my entire adult life. I simply DON'T understand the financial aspect of this topic. God DOES provide, He really truely does. I don't know why so many doubt this.
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Martha
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I didn't respond because it requires registration and the last thing I need is another stupid password or login to forget. 
The lady brings up some valid points TO HER. Points we as "poor Catholics" know aren't valid because our faith and or our life has taught us are false, but for someone without such experience - they are fearful. Pray for this woman. She lives her live and determines the lives of her family through a haze of fears.
Her perspective on SAHM is debatable. Yes, there are many Catholic women who have worked outside the home. I have no idea what that has to do with anything. To a mom who loves staying home, she's going to have a very rosier picture of it. Just as a career mom who loves her life is going to have a rosier picture of working outside the home than I do. So what? If she's happy with her life, what does she care? I'm betting this article hit a nerve because she is NOT happy with her life. It's hard to be happy when you live in fear.
jmho as a woman who constantly encounters such reactions. 
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stefoodie
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Thanks for sharing the link! I didn't comment either, but may I say I am just sooo THRILLED that Alice is writing for Catholic Exchange! I so enjoyed that post from her blog. Looking forward to reading more!
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Lisbet
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| Posted: June 04 2007 at 9:44am | IP Logged
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Ya know, the more I think about this, the more I realize just how tired I am of so much mud being slug at big Catholic families.
How it must be so 'easy' for us because of such and such, and how others could never do it because they don't have/possess such and such.
And the bit from the Canticle editor (I am once again reminded just why I cancelled my subscription!) about how virtous women make contributions beyond their own four walls....... yada yada....Thus belittling the work that we do with IN our own four walls.
Why can't we, as at home mothers of many just share our joy, no matter what our financial or educational status???
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Cay Gibson
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Lisbet wrote:
And the bit from the Canticle editor (I am once again reminded just why I cancelled my subscription!) about how virtous women make contributions beyond their own four walls....... yada yada....Thus belittling the work that we do with IN our own four walls.
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 You know I often agree with you , Lisa, but I have to say I didn't read this into her comment.
She makes it plain that we might be balancing books one day and making mudpies the next. And how true that is.
And she probably doesn't know the Alice we do. 
Alice, who gives so much of her time, advice, and encouragement to thousands of families via the Internet. Alice, who organizes parties and plays and presentations for her hs group, church, and community. And there are ways she uses that college degree in law behind the scenes that is nothing short of a "patient forebearance to accomplish each day the work He has equipped and called us to do — " (quote from Heidi's comments), but so hidden that I would not dream of embarassing Alice by exposing it.
While she puts the family within her 4-walls first, she is not only attuned to God's voice but to all of us whether our families are large, small, or in-between. She gives so much outside her 4-walls though she is a SAHM, and I know that she knows that God sees what no man sees. And that is where Alice finds her peace.
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guitarnan
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I had to laugh, actually...having a degree doesn't matter much when one is not working outside the home. Zero income is zero income, regardless of educational background.
I've done this mom thing every possible way, working full-time, part-time, part-time at home, running an in-home daycare, and now writing (ha ha, like I have time). There's no perfect answer for any family. We have to listen to God's call and be open to what He wants for us.
Brava, Alice!
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Lisbet
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Cay, I wrote out of a bit of frustration. I don't think she was saying that the only way to be virtuous is to contribute outside of the home. But, that is what some of us are called to. I don't balance the books or buy real estate. I do very very little work outside my four walls. I feel she was belittling those that don't 'contribute' outside our own families.
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Cay Gibson
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Lisbet wrote:
I feel she was belittling those that don't 'contribute' outside our own families.
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I understand better now. I was just thinking how much you give of yourself to all of us, Lisa. Your posts always, always, always bring a smile to my face  and I eagerly read everything you write.
I guess this is a case of determining whether one is contributing financially to the family or subservantly outside our homes. And what really matters in the grand scheme of things.
No time to think or make sense with myself. It's library day.
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Cay Gibson
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Cay Gibson wrote:
I guess this is a case of determining whether one is contributing financially to the family or subservantly outside our homes. And what really matters in the grand scheme of things.
No time to think or make sense with myself. It's library day.
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In my haste to get off the computer and in my time at the library and on the road, I realized Alice's article is about neither one.
Shame on me.
The conversation isn't even about this. Funny how one comment becomes another thought/process thread completely. And, basically, it's that age-old SAHM vs. career woman discussion which I abhor in general because neither side wins and both sides are truly doing what they feel is best for their families.
I want to mention and bring to light Kathleen Norris' book by Paulist Press The Quotidian Mysteries ~ Laundry, Liturgy and "Women's Work".
Amazon review:
"From Library Journal
Laundry may seem an odd element in the realm of religious worship, but poet and author, Norris (Dakota: A Spiritual Geography, LJ 12/92) has a talent for weaving seemingly disparate fragments of life together to see them as naturally connected. She points out that "women's work" such as laundry, cooking, and cleaning, done repeatedly on a daily basis and seemingly never to completion, can be approached in the same manner as liturgy. If seen as endless and dreary repetition, these domestic rituals become mindless activities to be gotten out of the way. When considered in terms of their enormous life-giving importance, the feeding and clothing of a family and maintaining of a household can be undertaken in the contemplative spirit. They become, like prayer and worship, acts of love that transform us and, in turn, the larger world around us. An uplifting book of inspiration, this is filled with humorous insights that will be enjoyed by readers unfamiliar with Norris's other work.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc."
I'm still trying to get my dh to see the sanctity and spirituality in my work at home. There are still times he "mentions" some kind of "work outside the home" gig.
Funny though, my five children abhor the very thought! They think I'm great right where I am.
Again, Alice's article was on the overall beauty and fulfillment of children, not the logistics. I'm sorry to see that on CE its intent has been mistaken for an agenda of anything other than its intent. I see that Lissa commented at the CE article to clear the matter up.
Now, I must get supper and discipline my own priorities a little better.
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aussieannie
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Alice, I was so surprised at some of the responses and I was determined to post a reply but they won't accept replies out of the States.
I am posting my reply here, to give you my support Alice even though it is to the converted of course! If someone who is thinking of responding to the replies at Catholic Exchange and would want to take anything from this, you are welcome for there not my words, their G K Chesterton's.
"In regard to some of the following responses, I would like to quote the great Catholic thinker, G K Chesterton as a reminder to those who have a poorer view of mothers, devoted to their children in the home.
Chesterton said the human house is a paradox, it is larger inside than out. He stated that when we step out our front door each morning and pass from private life to public life we are passing from a greater work to a lesser one, from a harder task to an easier one. He cited that this was the reason modern people have embraced public life in far great numbers than ever.
He pointed out that in public life we met the minor needs of many, whereas in the home we meet all the major needs of our own precious few. He believed that people would rather tackle the complexities of their particular field/expertise rather than struggle with the whole human character of just one child.
Congratulations Alice, on your choice of a nobler, more difficult yet ultimately more rewarding direction for your life, you had a lot to put aside in the eyes of the world. Unfortunately these simple truths puzzle many still."
God Bless you Alice! 
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Cay Gibson
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Annie,
How can any of us forget Chesterton's words and wisdom. Thank you for the reminder.
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Annie! Wonderful words! Thank you for calling them to mind.
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Mare
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aussieannie wrote:
In regard to some of the following responses, I would like to quote the great Catholic thinker, G K Chesterton as a reminder to those who have a poorer view of mothers, devoted to their children in the home.
Chesterton said the human house is a paradox, it is larger inside than out. He stated that when we step out our front door each morning and pass from private life to public life we are passing from a greater work to a lesser one, from a harder task to an easier one. He cited that this was the reason modern people have embraced public life in far great numbers than ever.
He pointed out that in public life we met the minor needs of many, whereas in the home we meet all the major needs of our own precious few. He believed that people would rather tackle the complexities of their particular field/expertise rather than struggle with the whole human character of just one child.
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I enjoyed Alice's article very much.
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gracie4309
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This sounds kind of lame now, after the lovely thoughts and discussion of the above posts, but Catholic Exchange is my home page, and I just wanted to say what a beautiful surprise it was this morning to see Alice's artice published there. Thank you Alice, for sharing this with so many.
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I tried to leave a comment ALice! I am shocked! I found the article lovely!
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KellyJ
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aussieannie wrote:
Chesterton said the human house is a paradox, it is larger inside than out. He stated that when we step out our front door each morning and pass from private life to public life we are passing from a greater work to a lesser one, from a harder task to an easier one. He cited that this was the reason modern people have embraced public life in far great numbers than ever.
He pointed out that in public life we met the minor needs of many, whereas in the home we meet all the major needs of our own precious few. He believed that people would rather tackle the complexities of their particular field/expertise rather than struggle with the whole human character of just one child.
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Annie, if you have the source for Chesterton's words, would you kindly post them? I'd love to put that up somewhere here. Thank you.
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Thank you, Alice, for such a lovely article. I enjoyed it as much today as I did when I first read it on your blog... very touching.
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aussieannie
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Kelly,
Here is a couple of links:
Fancies Verses Fads Chapter 27 You will find it in print in this chapter.
My source a far easier one AND enjoyable one...is Dale Alquist's Chesterton Series that ran on EWTN, you can here it on audio on your computer and I highly recommend anyone listening to it because it discusses education in the home verses education outside the home and it is a real ripper! Educating the Uneducated You will here my quoting of Chesterton in this audio.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Alice's article on Catholic Exchange
