Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Subject Topic: Those "Birds and Bees" make me nervous! Post ReplyPost New Topic
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Margaret in MN
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Posted: March 22 2007 at 12:14pm | IP Logged Quote Margaret in MN
So the conversation-that-almost-was went something like this:

My son took our bottle of Lourdes water down from the cupboard. He blessed himself and then asked if he could go bless all the beds. (Don't ask me why. I don't pretend to know how his mind works.) I was about to respond, "You know, that might help Mommy & Daddy to have a baby!" when I stopped--foot halfway to mouth--and realized that even though he's nine, he doesn't know the facts about the "nuptial bed."

Please, my friends, help me past this hurdle! I've read Christopher West and I believe with all my heart in the beauty and goodness of this intimacy, but I am so nervous looking ahead to that first revelation of how the baby gets there.

Do we tell them "when they seem ready?" That seems so vague. Do we wait 'til they reach puberty? If we do that, then what if that obnoxious little kid on the playground beats us to the punch? Does Dad talk to the boys and Mom handle the girls?

I don't know the when & where & how is what I'm saying.

PS. Happy Spring!

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Posted: March 22 2007 at 12:29pm | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth
Margaret,
You might want to read The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality for specific guidelines on the "when." There are also lots of nuggets on the "what" and "how." And you might also like to take a look at this thread..
Oh, and your first is a boy...you're pretty much off the hook on this one, according to the Pontifical Council . It's Alice and Irene who have big jobs ahead of them.

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Margaret in MN
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Posted: March 22 2007 at 1:28pm | IP Logged Quote Margaret in MN
Goodness, I guess I should have dug around a bit before I started a new thread! I think I just felt like "talking" about it!

Well thank you, Elizabeth, for the links. I have a whole list of resources now, as well as the particulars of that thread from last September.

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Maryan
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Posted: March 22 2007 at 1:52pm | IP Logged Quote Maryan
Oh Margaret!! My ds is only five and he "made me nervous" with his question about the birth of my youngest:

JP: "Mom, how did Luke get out?"

Nervous me: "Quickly."

Then I "quickly" changed the subject!

I can't even imagine sitting down with him someday -- so Elizabeth, I'm glad to hear I'm off the hook! And judging from the genders that I have right now -- I'm off the hook for awhile!

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Posted: March 22 2007 at 2:02pm | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth
Margaret in MN wrote:
Goodness, I guess I should have dug around a bit before I started a new thread! I think I just felt like "talking" about it!

Not at all, Margaret. We can talk about it again. I haven't made any progress since the last thread .

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Posted: March 22 2007 at 4:06pm | IP Logged Quote Anne McD
Elizabeth wrote:
Oh, and your first is a boy...you're pretty much off the hook on this one, according to the Pontifical Council .


Phew! I'm good for awhile

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Karen E.
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Posted: March 22 2007 at 4:08pm | IP Logged Quote Karen E.
I don't have to deal with sons, so I don't think I can help you out with your oldest, Margaret. But, your husband will have to, as Elizabeth pointed out.

With my girls, we just talk a whole lot, and I'm quite open, but always phrase everything in terms of the sacredness of marriage and babies. I answer all questions that come up, but not always with all the details of the mechanics. Sometimes, they don't want or need that ... they just need to have the door opened a little bit more. And, when they're ready to open it just a wee bit more, then the explanations get just a bit more elaborate. A little at a time, as age and innocence (and preservation of it) allow.

God's equipping you, a little at a time, Margaret. That's why kids grow at the rate they do ... it gives us time to figure this stuff out.

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Margaret in MN
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Posted: March 22 2007 at 4:24pm | IP Logged Quote Margaret in MN
Karen E. wrote:
I don't have to deal with sons, so I don't think I can help you out with your oldest, Margaret. But, your husband will have to, as Elizabeth pointed out.


But ya see, that's the problem! My husband's philosophy is "Sooner rather than later," whereas I say "Keep them young as long as possible!" 'Til...oh, I don't know. The night before their wedding, maybe?

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Posted: March 22 2007 at 6:28pm | IP Logged Quote Celeste
Karen E. wrote:
With my girls, we just talk a whole lot, and I'm quite open, but always phrase everything in terms of the sacredness of marriage and babies.


That's what I'm trying to do with my (5) girls. I try to work in "love" and "married" when I can: "you exist because Mommy and Daddy love each other so much," or something about the special kind of love only married people have. I'm hoping that the physical and spiritual dimensions will be united in their minds as this tremendous mystery unfolds.

I tread on this ground with much fear and trembling! It's so good to receive wisdom from those of you ahead of me on this journey!

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Posted: March 22 2007 at 6:52pm | IP Logged Quote Bridget
Maryan wrote:


JP: "Mom, how did Luke get out?"

Nervous me: "Quickly."

Then I "quickly" changed the subject!


I tell my kids that God made special parts in a mommy's body for the baby to be born from. They were fine with that.

My husband read The Joyful Mysteries of Life aloud to our oldest (12 then) over several months. Our next boy is 11 and isn't nearly as aware so he may be older when they read it.

We planned the reading time for Saturday mornings. We didn't want him going to bed pondering that information.

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Karen E.
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Posted: March 22 2007 at 7:26pm | IP Logged Quote Karen E.
Bridget wrote:

I tell my kids that God made special parts in a mommy's body for the baby to be born from. They were fine with that.


Yes, it's amazing how the simple answers can make sense to them and satisfy what they're wanting to know.

Many things can be termed "special" ("special place in a mommy for a baby to grow" and "special hug between a mommy and daddy" and so on, depending on what stage you've reached) and that makes sense to them. They sense it's all somehow miraculous and extraordinary, so they're not always looking for the biology lesson. Just a general, sensible response that includes God's part in the picture might be all they need.

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Posted: March 22 2007 at 7:28pm | IP Logged Quote Karen E.
Maryan wrote:

I can't even imagine sitting down with him someday


One nice thing about "little questions" being answered along the way is that it doesn't necessarily become "THE TALK" ... the unveiling has been happening (at their pace) all along. Kind of takes the pressure off!

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Posted: March 22 2007 at 8:44pm | IP Logged Quote chicken lady
Great thread, this has been coming for awhile over here wiht my my girls!    I just started 3 nights ago with their bodies, and when asked for more specifics I told my oldest that when she gets older we will talk more about the "hows" of babies. For now I just want her to understand our bodies and the beauty of each person growing and developing. This is soooooo intimidating of a subject for me, I don't want to mess up, and I don't want to have them hear about it from someone else. I have found even amongst Catholic HS children some know and share more derails of their mommies births than I'm comfortable with. I tend to keep the birthing process private, I feel like it is to much info for my dear girls.
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Posted: March 22 2007 at 9:24pm | IP Logged Quote Bridget
Karen E. wrote:


One nice thing about "little questions" being answered along the way is that it doesn't necessarily become "THE TALK" ... the unveiling has been happening (at their pace) all along. Kind of takes the pressure off!


Yes, and all these CM, nature studying kids have a beautiful, early perspective. Yesterday we were watching robins flit around the front yard. My 5 year old said delightedly, "Oh look! They're mated!"

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Posted: March 23 2007 at 12:25am | IP Logged Quote saintanneshs
Bridget wrote:
Karen E. wrote:
One nice thing about "little questions" being answered along the way is that it doesn't necessarily become "THE TALK" ... the unveiling has been happening (at their pace) all along. Kind of takes the pressure off!


Yes, and all these CM, nature studying kids have a beautiful, early perspective. Yesterday we were watching robins flit around the front yard. My 5 year old said delightedly, "Oh look! They're mated!"


yes! Only it's hard for me (having not grown up on a farm) to keep a straight face AND my focus when opportunities present themselves. I'm usually trying to stifle a giggle at my very observant and completely innocent boys' remarks. Dh is so much calmer and much more comfortable with their discussions about the whole subject. He can simplify and give them the answers they need (on their level, not too much info IYKWIM) much better than I can. I always overthink things.

I'm so glad I'm off the hook with our first three kids!

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