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Rachel May
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This discussion is based on the chapter called "Distractions During Prayer" from Saintly Solutions to Life's Common Problems by Fr. Joseph Esper. Sophia Institute Press, Manchester, New Hampshire, 2001.
Prayer for Concentration
God help my thoughts! They stray from me, setting off on the wildest journeys.
When I am in church, they run off like naughty children, quarrelling, making trouble.
When I read the Bible, they fly to a distant city, filled with beautiful women.
My thoughts can cross an ocean with a single leap; they can fly from earth to heaven, and back again, in a single second.
They come to me for a fleeting moment, and then away they flee.
No chains, no locks can hold them back; no threats of punishment can restrain them, no hiss of a lash can frighten them.
They slip from my grasp like tails of eels; they swoop hither and thither like swallows in flight.
Dear, chaste Christ, who can see into every heart and read every mind, take hold of my thoughts. Bring my thoughts back to me, and clasp me to yourself.
This Celtic Prayer from an unknown source is at the end of the chapter. The author's suggestion is that you pray it each day.
I'm adding this in after the fact, but I wanted to be sure that each of you feels invited to post your thoughts, quotes, links and wisdom, even if you are not reading the book.
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Rachel
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Rachel May
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Ecclesiastes 11:4-5
Matthew 6:6-8, 9-13
Wisdom 13:1,7
Isaiah 29:13
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Rachel
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JennGM
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Yes, I don't have the book. I'm hoping dh will pick up a copy for me soon. I'm enjoying the discussions, though.
I'm so lukewarm it's a wonder I haven't been spit out a long time ago! Thank goodness for God's mercy.
Reading this thread I had to admit that my distractions don't occur only DURING prayer...but just GETTING to pray. If my days aren't planned even somewhat, I get so distracted and forget to pray! 
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Jen L.
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I beat myself up over my distractions. Lately I have gotten a little more patient with myself since I have been reading Fire Within by Thomas Dubay (I highly recommend it). There is a great little section on distraction.
Remember when you read below, that St. Teresa of Avila is a Doctor of the Church and is known for her vast, deep, teaching on prayer...
[I'll put Dubay's word in quotes and Teresa's in italics]
"The saint [St. Teresa] frequently mentions her own overactive mind and the havoc it wreaked in her prayer life. "
"The saint's [again, St. Teresa] distractions occurred not only in the beginnings of infused prayer but even later when she had advanced a great deal. In one of her testimonies she tells how
on the vigil of St. Lawrence, just after receiving Communion, my mental faculties were so scattered and distracted I couldn't help myself, and I began to envy those who live in deserts and to think that since they don't hear or see anything they are free of this wandering mind. I heard: "You are greatly mistaken, daughter; rather, the temptations of the devil there are stronger; be patient, for as long as you live, a wandering mind cannot be avoided.""
[more Dubay] "Distractions, therefore are not simply to be tolerated but are even expected: they are a necessary consequence of the woundedness of our human nature as we concretely experience it."
Next post: Teresa's advice...
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Jen L.
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"Her first suggestion is simple: do not fret or worry about distractions. It seems no exaggeration to state that 99 percent of people are anxious, even nettled and irked by the spontaneous wanderings they experience at prayer. A few despair of being able to pray at all. Not Teresa. Throughout her works she consistently takes and optimistic view of the problem. Never does she conclude that even continual distractions render a person hopeless. In her Life she emphasizes what she considers "very important", namely, that one ought not to be depressed:
So I return to the advice - and even if I repeat it many times this doesn't matter - that it is very important that no one be distressed or afflicted over dryness or noisy and distracting thoughts. If a person wishes to gain freedom of spirit and not be always troubled, let him begin by not being frightened by the cross, and he will se how the Lord also helps him carry it and he will gain satisfaction and profit from everything.
Not our customary view of the matter: profit from distractions!"
[For her second suggestion see below]
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Jen L.
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[This is the suggestion that has really stuck with me -- TRY IT!]
"The saint's second suggestion is gentleness, or as the common expression has it, "easy does it". Her reaction to distractions even in the midst of lofty prayer is lighthearted:
When one of you finds herself in this sublime state of prayer, which, as I have already said, is most markedly supernatural, and the understanding [meaning: the thought] wanders off after the most ridiculous things in the world, she should laugh at it and treat it as the silly thing it is, and remain in her state of quiet."
SO.... LAUGH!!!!!
(If you can't tell, I look forward to this discussion. )
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"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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Rachel May
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Jen,
Your posts were really helpful to me; I've been waiting for a free minute to get back here! Through your quotes, I began to see that I have different sorts of distractions at different times, and I think then I need to have different approaches to dealing with them.
When I pray at home, distractions are are usually more of the wandering mind kind, so I have learned to keep my prayers short, but I would like to be able to pray longer prayers too. I feel like my spiritual diet is all snacks right now! I would love to pray a rosary without feeling overwhelmed so I think laughing at distractions or knowing that they will happen and accepting that will help me. With the rosary, I have a tendency to quit before I ever start.
What I am finding is that my real distraction comes during Mass, and it's not the kids. I am distracted by thoughts of Pride or Vanity or Gluttony, and those thoughts are real temptations not things to be laughed at.
I spent most of mass last Sunday 3 pews back, but directly behind an adult gum chewer who was the son of the lector. I could not keep my holier than thou thoughts in check long enough to focus 10 feet past them. Over and over I tried and failed. But sadly, I think that usually I don't try! I have those temptations mostly only during mass, and they are strong. I'm only just now realizing that they are attacks not just a wandering mind. Now I need a plan to deal with those temptations.
Suggestions?
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Rachel
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Rebecca
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Rachel May wrote:
I spent most of mass last Sunday 3 pews back, but directly behind an adult gum chewer who was the son of the lector. I could not keep my holier than thou thoughts in check long enough to focus 10 feet past them. Over and over I tried and failed. But sadly, I think that usually I don't try! I have those temptations mostly only during mass, and they are strong. I'm only just now realizing that they are attacks not just a wandering mind. Now I need a plan to deal with those temptations.
Suggestions? |
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Rachel, this is a big issue for me as well. My thoughts are usually related to what immodest clothes people are wearing. There was a eucharistic minister wearing a shirt that showed her navel. I just cannot seem to get past this at Mass. My only idea (for myself) is to close my eyes and just listen. As far as the gum chewers are concerned, you can't very well close your eyes but maybe you can move pews. That might be awkward. I sometimes think if it truly is an attack on you, no matter where you go in the church, something else would distract you.
I am really enjoying this thread Jen and Rachel. The St. Theresa quotes are really helpful to me as well as the discussion in general.
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Jen L.
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I am regularly distracted at Mass in just the way you describe. I really wanted to smack two middle-school age kids one day whose mother was just ignoring their antics  . They were pretty quiet so I ended up holding my missalette in such a way so that I couldn't see them. It helped somewhat.
Another thing that has helped is sitting in the front row. (Although this wouldn't help with the lector problem!  )
The thing that has helped me the most (and this is a relative statement as my problem has NOT been come close to being overcome):
One day on my way to sit down before Sunday Mass, I saw someone using some sort of electronic device (PDA, I think.) I jumped right to those (all too familiar) prideful thoughts. Just then I received what I can only describe as a "word from God" (this has only happened to me 1 other time) -- that I was no better than that person and that my sins are just hidden from public view. Talk about being smacked with humility.
I had been reading St. Catherine of Siena's Dialogue and God can't seem to stop talking about "love of neighbor" and so I prayed for the "culprits" (Ms. PDA and myself!) .
I also rebuke Satan often during Mass -- in the name of Jesus.
This is a constant source of struggle for me. Thanks for the discussion, Rebecca and Rachel.
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Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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Jen L.
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I was going through my email and found one from Catholic Culture that addresses some of this stuff. The link/
Here's a quote from it that I found enlightening:
"When we are interrupted despite our best efforts, we need to recognize again that man proposes, but God disposes. In such cases, God’s will—and therefore the best and highest prayer—is performed by responding properly to the person or situation in question. Recognizing the same God both in our souls and in our external circumstances is a great step on the road to inner peace. We cannot shield ourselves completely from interruptions without shielding ourselves from the will of God."
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dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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Jen L.
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The Cathechism of the Catholic church - now here's something! (bold highlighting mine)
Cathechism of the Catholic Church
PART FOUR: CHRISTIAN PRAYER
» SECTION ONE: PRAYER IN THE CHRISTIAN LIFE
» CHAPTER THREE: THE LIFE OF PRAYER
» ARTICLE 2: THE BATTLE OF PRAYER
» II. HUMBLE VIGILANCE OF HEART
2729 The habitual difficulty in prayer is distraction. It can affect words and their meaning in vocal prayer; it can concern, more profoundly, him to whom we are praying, in vocal prayer (liturgical or personal), meditation, and contemplative prayer. To set about hunting down distractions would be to fall into their trap, when all that is necessary is to turn back to our heart: for a distraction reveals to us what we are attached to, and this humble awareness before the Lord should awaken our preferential love for him and lead us resolutely to offer him our heart to be purified. Therein lies the battle, the choice of which master to serve.
Cf. Mt 6:21, 24.
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Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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momwise
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This is a very good chapter for Lent, since I always try to increase prayer time and encourage my dc as well. Now I'm realizing that I need to work on the quality of the prayer time I already have. More and more prayers said in a hurry or half-heartedly are not worthy of Christ.
I think dc and I will read this chapter together. I had an extreme conversion about 13 years ago and have gone through so many phases of zealousness my poor dc have been made to follow along in many cases without any of us knowing what we were doing or doing it badly....does that make sense?
I love the advice to continually call oneself back to our prayer and thoughts of Jesus, each time gently letting the distraction go.
As for the discussion of distractions during Mass, I heard the last sentence of today's Gospel  . I don't even remember what I was thinking of now.
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"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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Rachel May
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momwise wrote:
| I had an extreme conversion about 13 years ago and have gone through so many phases of zealousness my poor dc have been made to follow along in many cases without any of us knowing what we were doing or doing it badly....does that make sense? |
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I didn't have a conversion and we still have had that problem. Some of what I've done has been related to looking for a family devotion that "fits." One of the 6 year olds told me he wanted to get his license so he could drive us to daily mass, since I was too pooped to do 8:15 am last week. So for now, I think that we will do more daily mass for our increase in prayer; more practice for me!
This week's mass went much better. Forewarned is forearmed! I prayed about it ahead of time, I had fewer temptations during Mass, and I was even able to laugh at some of my distracting thoughts!  Now I need to work on my daily prayers at home. Though not distracted, I do feel they are lukewarm and done badly. I put My Daily Bread near the bed again so that I could use it when my own focus wears out.
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jdostalik
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Jen L. wrote:
2729 The habitual difficulty in prayer is distraction. It can affect words and their meaning in vocal prayer; it can concern, more profoundly, him to whom we are praying, in vocal prayer (liturgical or personal), meditation, and contemplative prayer. To set about hunting down distractions would be to fall into their trap, when all that is necessary is to turn back to our heart: for a distraction reveals to us what we are attached to, and this humble awareness before the Lord should awaken our preferential love for him and lead us resolutely to offer him our heart to be purified. Therein lies the battle, the choice of which master to serve.
Cf. Mt 6:21, 24.
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Jen,
Thank you for all your posts on St. Teresa's thoughts on distraction. They have helped me immensely. The above quote really touched me, too, when I read it at the end of the chapter. I do need to offer God my heart to be purified so I can try and conquer, to a certain degree, my attachment to sin...then perhaps, my distractions will lessen, esp. during Mass!
After I finished this chapter, I began to read Part 2 of St. Francis de Sales An Introduction to the Devout Life.
I really think if I can prepare myself properly to pray, my distractions may lessen. I don't think I properly prepare myself to pray when I do find myself with the ability to do so. Don't get me wrong, I try to "pray, always" during the day...But, I am talking about when I am alone, early in the morning, or at night, usually I just jump in and begin...I am going to use St. Francis' steps and try to prepare myself better to pray when I find the time to do mental prayer.
Great discussions!!
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God Bless,
Jennifer in TX
wife to Bill, mom to six here on earth and eight in heaven.
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kristina
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Jen L. wrote:
I am regularly distracted at Mass in just the way you describe. I really wanted to smack two middle-school age kids one day whose mother was just ignoring their antics . They were pretty quiet so I ended up holding my missalette in such a way so that I couldn't see them. It helped somewhat.
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Jen,
We try to sit in the front row, but it is often already occupied. I have actually whispered to a child who was playing (with her spongebob toys!) after communion right in front of us to turn around and pray. She said "I already prayed." I whispered back "We are still praying." and she shot me a look and turned around. If the "spongebob" family is in the front row we try to sit a few rows away because it was terribly distracting for our little ones. It was just like the "Church Picnic" chapter in "Devotional Stories for Little Folks."
I have even put my finger at my lips to indicate "sssshhhh" to a disruptive child whose parents are engaged in prayer. They are usually rather shocked that someone would correct them that they turn around become quiet. My husband thinks I am incredibly bold to correct another's child, albeit, discreetly.
Distractions at mass are such the norm for me - mostly because of my own five children! When I have gone to mass on my own, I can't even concentrate because I am missing the distractions .
Blessings,
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kristina
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Rachel May
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"Distraction reveals what we're attached to." This certainly pointed out to me a chapter I'll need to attend to soon.....
I was noticing last night that REAL PAIN may not allow for eloquent prayer, but it also doesn't allow for distraction. I was wondering if there are other situations where people find they are absolutely NOT distracted?
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Rachel
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momwise
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Rachel May wrote:
| I was noticing last night that REAL PAIN may not allow for eloquent prayer, but it also doesn't allow for distraction. I was wondering if there are other situations where people find they are absolutely NOT distracted? |
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Hmmm....maybe that's why suffering draws Christians closer to Christ? I can think of fear as another motivator to paying attention.
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Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
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Willa
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kristina wrote:
| Distractions at mass are such the norm for me - mostly because of my own five children! When I have gone to mass on my own, I can't even concentrate because I am missing the distractions . |
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That's what happens to me!  I will need a remedial-focusing session once my kids are old enough not to BE my distractions. But anyway, having this happen makes me realize that I'm not missing out on mass because of my kids.... if it wasn't my kids, it would be something else.
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Willa
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Willa
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Rachel May wrote:
"Distraction reveals what we're attached to." This certainly pointed out to me a chapter I'll need to attend to soon.....
I was noticing last night that REAL PAIN may not allow for eloquent prayer, but it also doesn't allow for distraction. I was wondering if there are other situations where people find they are absolutely NOT distracted? |
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I notice this when my medically fragile child is in the hospital or when I'm dealing with insomnia. It's so much easier to focus on prayer.
Yet, there's always a kickback in the long run. That level of pain or discomfort takes me outside my normal self... but when things get normal again, I fall back into default. I hate it but I've learned to expect it and am trying to learn how to deal with it.
If distractions point out what I'm attached to, then I'm afraid I'm attached to worrying and to bustling around getting things done.... because no sooner do I sit down to pray than my mind starts making to-do lists and I start trying to mentally problem-solve whatever's going on in my life.
One thing I've done to try to deal with this is to have a 10 minute free-write of what's on my mind BEFORE I pray. Then I can consciously turn those things over to God and let them go.... or at least, it helps a bit.
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Willa
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Rachel May
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WJFR wrote:
I notice this when my medically fragile child is in the hospital or when I'm dealing with insomnia. It's so much easier to focus on prayer.
Yet, there's always a kickback in the long run. That level of pain or discomfort takes me outside my normal self... but when things get normal again, I fall back into default. I hate it but I've learned to expect it and am trying to learn how to deal with it. |
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I agree Willa. Fear provides real focus. My biggest spiritual breakthrough came when I was dealing with the real possibility of losing the twins or, if I did not lose them, facing a long inpatient stay and huge medical bills and having them in the NICU for a long time. So much good and spiritual closeness came from that experience, and I remember the bewilderment of losing that after everything turned out completely fine.
That focus does help us draw closer, and then God moves further along the path and calls us to Him again.
I apologize for letting this thread languish so long. If we are ready, why don't we start making our suggestions for the next chapter?
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Rachel
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Distractions During Prayer
