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mavmama
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| Posted: April 13 2007 at 6:50pm | IP Logged
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I have been wearing skirts/dresses exclusively since December. I was pretty happy with that decision until spring, and now I am wavering. Several things have contributed, and they are:
A. I cannot explain in words why I went to skirts--but I felt called to do it and did. Now I am wondering why and how do I explain it?
B. The spring catalogues have so mnay cute clothes! Of course, they won't fit/be comfortable/look good, but I am coveting them.
C. Suddenly, I feel "different" for wearing only skirts. This didn't bother me in the winter.
Do any of you have any words of wisdom for me? I want to be modest and feminine, my dh likes the skirts, and I do think I look better in them. What is my problem?  Has anyone else felt this way?
I hope this makes sense....I knew I could count on you ladies to help!
Bless you!
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Cheryl
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| Posted: April 13 2007 at 7:11pm | IP Logged
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I feel exactly the same way. I also thought of posting about this, but then the weather turned cold again, so I've continued to wear skirts.
I switched to skirts last fall and back then I thought that spring would be so easy in skirts. I bought two of these skirts. I modeled them for my dh and asked him what he thought and he basically told me he didn't like them, but of course, I could wear them if I liked them. I asked him what he liked and he told me skirts are great for winter, but in the spring he'd prefer shorts and capris. He said he'd like me to dress like a female golfer.
I'm fairly certain that I won't wear shorts, but I've worn my capris a couple of times recently when the weather was warm and I felt so good in them. Does this mean that I'm not called to wear skirts in the spring? Or does this mean I'm giving in to temptation?
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Cheryl
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juststartn
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| Posted: April 13 2007 at 8:42pm | IP Logged
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I went out and bought some pretty feminine skirts....amazingly, it DOES make a difference. I got some in more springy colors/prints/fabrics...with a good "flow"...a mid-calf length works really well for me (I'm short)...
This year I am having a wee bit more trouble, but then again, I'd have trouble regardless of the season, simply cause I am so huge, lol. I don't know what I'll be wearing size wise once I have these two (I am almost scared to think on it), but I know I am sticking with the skirts. This will be the second spring/summer for me since I went skirts only...I wore linen, cotton, and rayons last year. I'm going to try and do the same this summer (NC being as hot as it is).
Frankly, I found the skirts to be cooler, and more comfortable than shorts or jeans ever were...they didn't stick to my legs, I had plenty of air flow around me, etc....
Cheryl, I don't know how you are built, or how tall you are, but I know I have to stay away from the straighter lined skirts, simply because of my own figure/height (5'4", but, ahem, "well rounded", rather fluffy...even when not pregnant)....I do separates anyway (easier for changing one portion and not the other when dealing with small dc).
Anyway, I've found that an Aline, or even a fuller bias cut skirt works well--plenty of mobility and air flow, a little of the feminine...flowiness...I think ykwim.
Anyway, I do like Sierra Trading.
Right now, Coldwater Creek has a free shipping on orders over $100 "sale" going on--and some nicer things in their outlet/sale area. Depending on what size you are, you may have some luck there.
Don't know if this will help either you or Liz, Cheryl, or anyone else...but thought I would mention it. I was sorely tempted, but not knowing what size I will be after delivery, well, I'm waiting to spend any money on clothes for me. The thrift store will be seeing me so I can get some things cheaply, and not waste a bunch of money on things I may not fit into, iykwim.
Anyway, hth
Rachel
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juststartn
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| Posted: April 13 2007 at 8:58pm | IP Logged
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Liz, as far as why I went to skirts/dresses only...
After I read Dressing with Dignity, I didn't NEED a reason to explain to anyone. It was a personal decision, frankly. I've only been asked a couple of times. Firstly, it's more modest (depending on the lines of the skirt). Secondly, I've never seen an image or heard of an apparition, in ANY culture, of the Blessed Mother where she appeared/appears in pants. Not even in the Oriental or Alaskan images of her. She is always in a dress of below the knee length. it doesn't reveal her knees...nor her elbows and shoulders. If I am to make it a point to try and emulate my Mother in behavior and attitude, why should I not try to emulate her in attire? Also looking at the Fatima visits...the Blessed Mother herself spoke of certain fashions that would be coming, that would be negative (not her exact words)...but look what happened? Skirts got shortened...women started dressing more and more mannishly over the next two decades..and less and less modestly even when they did dress in a "feminine" fashion....
There are a lot of skirts out this year...I am actually rather pleased to see some at least of a decent length (not above the knee before one sits down!). The prints seem to be more feminine, and lines more fluid....Frankly, I love them....wish I had some idea what size I'd be wearing come July and August and September, lol.
Oh, and I LIKE the feeling "different". As Catholics, we're called to be in the world, but not of it. We're also called to be the salt and the light....we're supposed to stand out. If we Catholic ladies stand out because of a peacefilled, feminine persona, is that a BAD thing? I have to say, I always feel a bit "different" in skirts/dresses. But you know...it's a good different. Each season has its own changes...and the first year it takes some getting used to....but you do get used to it. I'm seeing more ladies in this area in skirts...oh and it is NICE.
And, I'll be honest...I don't think most ladies realize how they look from the rear in the pants/jeans and things that they wear. I've been noticing that more lately..skirts hide a multitude of "flaws" (like that obnoxious and impossible to get rid of "apron" I had after three dc, and will only be bigger after these two come)...wide hips, thicker thighs, the apron, the just general spread of age and childbearing...NOT that I am saying that a lady can let herself go after going to skirts--far from it. But honestly, alot of the time, they are more flattering to the female figure....esp as a lady ages and things aren't quite as they once were...
Admittedly, that's just my experience and perspective. I'm the first to admit I've worn things in the past I wouldn't even donate to charity now...shudder. I wouldn't want ANYONE in public in the things I wore even four years ago...
But I do think that there is something to be said for regaining our natural, time-tested femininity..something that is hard to do when you are wearing almost the same thing as your DH (I can't tell you the number of times DH and I would get dressed separately and we'd both be wearing rugby shirts and blue jeans and boots when we got together. Rather disturbing, frankly. I like the distinction between male and female....
Just my rather random thoughts on it. Sorry for the ramble.
Rachel
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8kids4me
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| Posted: April 13 2007 at 10:32pm | IP Logged
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I've been in skirts/dresses/jumpers exclusively for 2 and a half years now. No one ever asks me why I don't wear pants, but I would have no trouble telling them I was called to do so. I find skirts to be much cooler in the summer, and I make them with brighter colors so I don't look so gloomy!
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 13 2007 at 10:37pm | IP Logged
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get different catalogs 
I'm not skirts/dresses only though I do wear them alot.. but usually when I'm discontent with what I have, how I dress etc. It's because I'm letting myself be influenced by things like catalogs.. right now I'm not "in the market" for any more clothes for myself.. so the catalogs are going straight to the bin for fire starter papers..
In the case where you need some clothes.. think about what you really like with the outfits you're seeing.. and then look for someone who carries what you like about them, in a skirt/top type outfit.
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Alexandra
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| Posted: April 13 2007 at 11:12pm | IP Logged
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I wear skirts too. I was a work-outside-the-home mom for 13 years who had to wear skirts(and a jacket) to work. When I quit in 2001, I just kept wearing skirts, albeit more casual ones.
They do look a lot better on me than pants, especially since at age 41, I'm a bit rounder now. ;) Skirts in the summer are cute...so many stylish ones to choose from, even in longer lengths. It does help to get the right style to suit your figure. I wore a skirt today which actually made me look much bigger. It is a fluffy A-Line with a busy pattern. I was lost in it. I need a smaller print and a more tailored look. It's a shame because it's a nice newish skirt which I got for .50 cents at a thrift. Sometimes I can wear this sort of skirt with a longer tailored top.
I always feel like I'm dressed for work when I get into my skirt everyday, only now my work is my family. It's an important job...why not dress for it?!
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: April 14 2007 at 6:28am | IP Logged
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Cheryl,
I want one of those skirts in every print!
I thought the winter was tough in skirts, especially as the winter weather stretched into the spring and I found myself freezing at soccer games despite pages and pages of advice on how not to freeze  . I bought a pair of jeans (two actually) before a tournament in early March. And I wore them. But I felt weird in them and I did feel self-conscious and "exposed." I also started wearing an old pair of knit capris and a tunic at home on days when I really want to clean. I am a better housekeeper without the skirt, despite two years of trying to be otherwise.
All that said, I'm glad it's spring! I love wearing skirts in spring time. Shorts and even capris in public now feel very immodest to me. I love to go to soccer games and park days in a skirt like the one Cheryl linked. I know that I look pulled together and a bit polished and truly, skirts are probably the most flattering things on a figure that is becoming increasingly matronly. Now, when I see women my age in shorts, it's jarring to me. It just doesn't look right...
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Lisbet
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| Posted: April 14 2007 at 9:22am | IP Logged
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After going off and on the skirt thing for the past 6 years, I have finally made it through my first winter in skirts alone. I have been in them for almost a year now. One day a few weeks ago I got up and put on a very comfy pair of maternity cords from a previous pregnancy, and after about an hour in them, I felt so exposed. (my rear end especially!) so I changed back in to a skirt.
I do feel different, I do feel like I stand out. My dad asked me the other day if I was 'turning Muslim with all the long skirts' I find it really funny that a WOMAN wearing skirts has to explain herself! LOL!
I agree with Jodie big time on this issue. I don't even look at pants/capris. Toss the catalogues, etc... I got rid of all but one pair. (those cords, and I think those are about to go too!) My husband way prefers skirts, and I love that it pleases him. I love my little ones hanging onto my skirts, and I've noticed my girls choosing skirts and dresses themselves alot more.
Fighting the trendy influences can be difficult at times. Just the other day I noticed how cute the capri outfit a friend of mine was wear was. Then it occured to me that this friend looks really cute in skirts too!
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juststartn
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| Posted: April 14 2007 at 9:36am | IP Logged
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Lisbet, if you need maternity skirts, I posted a link a while back for modest maternity clothing. You might find something there (not as trendy as Motherhood and the like, but they have lots of size options, too.
Rachel
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chicken lady
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| Posted: April 14 2007 at 10:08am | IP Logged
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I have found myself wearing pants more now than I have in years! Various reasons,..... and it is AMAZING to me how I feel like I stand out in pants! It is more typical around here, to wear skirts, not just Catholics, but Protestants and... Amish as well.
I agree with Elizabeth when I see a women in shorts, it is jarring to me. The same goes for sleeveless!
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WayTruthLife
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| Posted: April 14 2007 at 11:14am | IP Logged
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Liz, I have been feeling the same way as you about skirts. I wore them almost exclusively throughout the winter and the warmer weather has really been a struggle for me. I only have heavier material skirts and after wearing one on a warm day, I hated how my upper legs stuck together. I told my husband that I just couldn't do this and I'd have to switch to shorts this summer. He was very disappointed as he loves me in skirts. How selfish of me! Now that I'm pregnant, I have to look into maternity skirts. I keep thinking I'll look like a tent in maternity skirts. I'm really waivering on this too. I love reading everyone's suggestions. It sure helps me! I do notice that when I don't read on this forum for a while I tend to wear more pants. I need to to be inspired by your lovely, faith-filled women so I can stay on track! Thank you!
Tricia 
Mom to 5dc and due 11/07 
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Lisbet
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| Posted: April 14 2007 at 11:17am | IP Logged
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I'm going to do a blog post later about how I wear my Wrap Skirt during my pregnancy.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
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8kids4me
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| Posted: April 14 2007 at 11:28am | IP Logged
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WayTruthLife wrote:
I hated how my upper legs stuck together. Tricia
Mom to 5dc and due 11/07 |
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I bought a pair of "pettipants" at Penneys a few years ago and that helps with the 'stickies'.
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juststartn
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| Posted: April 14 2007 at 11:44am | IP Logged
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There are several places that sell the "half slips/pant" things...
I'll see if I can find some.
Rachel
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juststartn
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| Posted: April 14 2007 at 11:46am | IP Logged
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Maternity culotte slips in poly and cotton
(This is the website I was talking about earlier in this thread):
http://www.modestapparelusa.com/culotte_slip_maternity.html
Btw, the "tent" look is what I was MOST wanting to avoid during pregnancy...lol. So I stayed away from jumpers. Something about having a different colored/shade top makes ALL the difference...
Rachel
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: April 14 2007 at 11:56am | IP Logged
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When people ask, I just say "Oh, I just feel much more comfortable in skirts and like them better." If they want to take it further THEN I may talk about more specific reasons.
If you are starting to feel "different" or "stand out" maybe it's time to experiment with other clothing items. Maybe try a few new things, experiment. Switching how you dress is a several-year-process....lots of trial and error.
I feel like I fit in more in the summer...a casual dress with a cardigan and sandals. People don't think that's as unusual as wearing a skirt in cold weather. Plus in the summer....the footwear fits in more....sandals "go with" dresses/skirts better, as opposed to being concerned about winter footwear. There is a REASON why the "really long 14-PAGE clothing/boot thread" was REALLY LONG! 
I actually prefer dresses in the summer, if i'm not nursing. I have so many great dresses and I'm so excited to be wearing them this summer. I feel more "bulky" in skirts....which is fine in the winter, but not such a good feeling in the summer. In the morning when it's a bit colder, I put a stretch-cardigan on and shed it by afternoon. Sandals. There is nothing about that that would make you stand out in the summer at all.
I don't even look at catalogues. 99% of the clothing in there, I wouldn't wear/don't need. If I am on the hunt for something, I'll do an internet search. The catalogues DO make me question my clothing decisions.
I do have one pair of capris that I like to wear occasionally, and I do like them.
Another reason to wear long dresses and skirts in the summer.....you don't have to be as vigilent about shaving your legs
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Suzanne in ID
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chicken lady
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| Posted: April 14 2007 at 12:51pm | IP Logged
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Garnet Hill use to sell wonderful maternity skirts, not sure if they still do, you can check for them on ebay! I LOVE mine, very comfortable, and stylish!
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Mrs.K
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| Posted: April 14 2007 at 1:33pm | IP Logged
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Cheryl, I'm with Elizabeth - those skirts are beautiful and I'd take them all!
Why do you think your husband wants you to look like a golfer? Are you a golfer? Is he afraid you won't be 'playful' (with the children or on the golf course)enough in the sunny weather in a skirt? Does he not like florals? The skirts don't seem so different from your winter ones. Perhaps he thought skirts were okay for winter, when we 'cover up' for warmth, but not for summer which for the rest of the world is time to reveal, not conceal. Would he like a different look? Perhaps he enjoys the sight of you in shorts or 'golf skirts', which is all well and good. But you may want to gently point out that enjoying your looks should be a private pleasure and that if he 'enjoys' your outfits other men may as well.
You of course need to pray for guidance for both yourself and your husband to figure out what your 'feelings' mean. Sometimes it isn't wise to make decisions based on our comfort or feelings. Pray to Our Lady for discernment and St. Joseph and maybe St. Padre Pio ( a fierce defender of modesty) for your husband.
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: April 14 2007 at 1:52pm | IP Logged
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After the soccer tournament to which I wore jeans, we were in the van on the way home. Mike handed me his root beer to hold and I took a sip. Patrick said, "Whoa, Mom! Jeans and root beer on the same day. Have you lost your head?" (I never drink soda--waste of calories.)
I never really gave much thought to what my children thought of my "skirts only" attire before this comment. I asked Patrick what he meant, just to see if it was what I thought he meant. He said, "Well, you're sorting of acting like a normal mom." So...I took a deep breath and asked if he was embarrassed by my skirts. And he said, "Um, no, not really. I'm used to you being 'different.'"
We stopped at a convenience store/gas station and my husband took the little ones in for a potty break. I invited Paddy to "people watch" with me. About half a dozen women between 35 and 50 went inside or came out while we watched. None of them had figures that looked well in jeans and short sleeves. With each one, I asked Patrick if that woman wouldn't look better in a skirt. And each time, he agreed she would.
Then, he said, "Yeah, but some girls look really good in jeans. Not those ladies, but, you know, some girls." I agreed and then I said, "Exactly, and those are the people that you shouldn't be looking at that way. So, don't you see? Skirts are better for the ladies who should be embarrassed to be seen in the jeans and skirts are a gift to the boys who shouldn't be looking at the girls in THEIR jeans. We'd all be better off with females in skirts."
That said, I do wear jeans when it's so cold I need my parka that reaches my knees anyway. I just stay covered up.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: For those in skirts exclusively...
