| Author | |
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
|
| Posted: Jan 10 2014 at 1:46pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
Inspired by kristacecilia, I'm wondering...
Do you miss your kids?
There are so many reasons why moms who love their kids will miss their kids over the duration of their relationship. Off the cuff I can think of...
Going to school (K-College)
Illness, hospitalization
Spending more time with friends as they age
Getting jobs
Sharing custody
They marry and start their own family
Death
How do you ease the pain?
How do you make the most of your time together?
How do you stay in touch when distance is involved?
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Erin
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 23 2005
Location: Australia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5814
|
| Posted: Jan 11 2014 at 2:35am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Angie
The past two years have seen our oldest two leave home, off to College and we sure do miss them but it really helps to see them forging their way. Originally it helped to know they were happy. They haven't always been happy this year but we're so proud of them as they 'find themselves' and deal with life, so watching them blossom and grow or at least try to grow helps ease the loss.
Social media is a big help, skype the first year was terrific, not only for us but for siblings. Late this year I've learnt to text (yes Angie I forgive you if you shake your head at my slowness  )
we've found with social media 'one size doesn't fit all'. ds18 prefers text, dd20 never answers her phone, so she is easier to get via email. But nothing beats having a good long natter on the phone. or skype if we can get it working again.
They only come home three times a year due to long distance. So we really treasure those weeks. Just basically we hang out together, the siblings love the time together. ds 16 is only home for one more year and counting down till he can go and live with his brother and sister.
__________________
Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JennGM
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 17702
|
| Posted: Jan 11 2014 at 8:09am | IP Logged
|
|
|
We just experienced two weeks away from my boys, who are 6 and 10, this December for my open heart surgery We really missed the boys and they needed us. I know the dynamic changes when they are older and away, because they need us in a different way.
What made it work so it wasn't so painful for them--family. My parents stayed with the boys, and my sisters and their families visited often, and took them on outings. They did keep their basic routine, plus there were some "firsts" we missed that we're exciting and busy. It was hard to miss, but it kept them preoccupied (Christmas piano recital, altar serving).
And for us--we did FaceTime and phone calls every day several times through the day. My parents were convinced especially Facetime helped tremendously. I was glad to hear that they were not overwhelmed with missing us, they could sleep at night without crying themselves to sleep. I am hearing of a few stories of tears, but I had them, too. It's perfectly natural.
And I texted and emailed my mother often (or Dave did when I was incompacitated) to keep things as normal as possible..answering those little questions to make sure it's like the way we do it.
There are a little bumps to returning and getting back to normal. My boys keep hugging and kissing me every moment they have.
__________________
Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
CSBasile
Forum Rookie
Joined: May 27 2012
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 51
|
| Posted: Jan 11 2014 at 8:24am | IP Logged
|
|
|
My two kids go to Catholic school and public school, so they aren't around during the day. I really enjoy having them home during their school breaks, like the recently finished Christmas break. They aren't perfect by any means (yes, they sometimes fight and argue), but I enjoy just having spontaneous conversations with them, watching a DVD together, doing a project together, etc. I miss them this week, now that they are back in school.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SallyT
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 08 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2489
|
| Posted: Jan 11 2014 at 3:31pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I definitely miss my girl who's off at college (when she's away, that is -- she's still home right now!). But we speak often on the phone (don't really do Skype), and I am happy that her life is going on as it should, where it should, right now, in this season of life. If she were still living at home, in our small town, with a limited range of friends and opportunities, she'd be miserable, and we'd all be miserable. As it is, it's GREAT to have her home on break, and I will be sad when she goes away again . . . but also happy that her real, grownup life is starting back up. She's definitely a call-home kind of girl, so I often feel that she's a lot closer than she actually is, and that I know her friends personally, when I really don't.
My 16-year-old isn't in regular school (technically he's homeschooled!), but he's gone several days a week to be on campus with his dad. Between classes there, a part-time job, and a lot of working out, I see a lot less of him than I used to when he was younger. Again, I do kind of miss him as a part of our daily at-home life, but he's doing things that I couldn't do for him nearly as well, if at all, and I'm happy he has the opportunities he has right now. We do touch base often via email when he's not in the house, and sometimes even when he is. New season, new life . . . :)
Sally
__________________
Castle in the Sea
Abandon Hopefully
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
LLMom
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 19 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 995
|
| Posted: Jan 11 2014 at 9:13pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I have an adult dd who is married with a baby and lives FAR away. We talk on the phone a lot, text, Skype, facebook, etc. It isn't ideal, but it is the best option.
I also have 4 of my 5 children living at home in school. I spend time while driving home from school chatting with them about their day, we always eat dinner together, and usually we have time for some games after school. Weekends we try to leave free for playing and spending time together. It is a transition, but we are enjoying that time together since it is so little. Before, we were together a lot, but didn't always interact much.
__________________
Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
|
| Posted: Jan 15 2014 at 7:23pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thank you, ladies 
A way not mentioned that helps us to stay in touch with Devin and Michael is that we still share google calendars and we use Group.me for group texting.
To tie down my teen sons I pretty much make them good food and watch movies with them. Yes, I BRIBE them with food and movies  . But it works. Just this morning I told my 18 year old that I miss him and asked him if he could hold my hand when he is telling me about the 9 million things on his plate as he races out the door. He held my hand 
When I miss my 8 year old, I tend to just stop everything and listen to him chatter. Again, food is often involved - little snacks. We also like to watch movies and snuggle. These are precious times.
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: Jan 20 2014 at 2:43pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
College girl went back yesterday. I thought I would be used to it. But the house seems awful empty with just one person missing. I really miss her. Hoping to bump into her (amongst all the millions of people!!!) at the March for Life!
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
kristacecilia
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 05 2010
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 677
|
| Posted: Feb 12 2014 at 2:34pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I've been avoiding this thread because honestly it breaks my heart to think about it too much.
I just miss my kids. I don't know if we can bring them home to homeschool again or not, but I miss them during the days and look forward to them coming home. I do enjoy them more now in our time together. It's more quality, for sure. And there has been lots of positive growth for all parties during our break thus far. I visited my son's class one day and was so impressed with what all he was doing, how involved he was, how he was acting, etc. My second son has asked to come home again and I am considering it for next year.
__________________
God bless,
Krista
Wife to a great guy, mom to two boys ('04, '06) and three girls ('08, '10, '12!)
I blog at http://kristacecilia.wordpress.com/
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bridget
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Michigan
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2198
|
| Posted: Feb 13 2014 at 6:00am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I have 2 away at the same college. In the fall some local moms got together at a restaurant for a MOCK meeting. 'Moms of College Kids'. We laughed and cried and laughed and cried. It helped so much. We plan to make it annual after the kids go back each fall. 
__________________
God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Erin
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 23 2005
Location: Australia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5814
|
| Posted: Feb 13 2014 at 6:10am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Bridget
What a brilliant idea!!!
My birthday was on Sunday and as we drove to Mass, I turned around to look at all my children, and it hit me anew one was missing (College boy gone back early to work) and I felt this intense physical pain and began crying, fortunately I was able to hide it from the children.
Oftentimes good but sometimes, the special moments it hits me.
__________________
Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: Feb 13 2014 at 6:41am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Erin wrote:
Bridget
What a brilliant idea!!!
My birthday was on Sunday and as we drove to Mass, I turned around to look at all my children, and it hit me anew one was missing (College boy gone back early to work) and I felt this intense physical pain and began crying, fortunately I was able to hide it from the children.
Oftentimes good but sometimes, the special moments it hits me. |
|
|
Erin - I so empathize. I am surprised at the intensity of pain and emptiness that hits at times - birthdays, special moments. I have got used to dd being away, but every now and then the emptiness just hits.
My 9th grader sons just landed their first summer job and will be working much of this summer. Whilst I am happy for them I feel such sadness that they will be away from the house for so many hours a day. DD will be working too. For the first time all the teens will no longer be home and I think with nostalgia back to our summer days with all of us together for early Mass, lots of read alouds, lemonade, root beer floats, art, hikes. Dh has already started talking about how he will be so sad when the twins leave for college 
The good thing about dd is that she telephone me every day - sometimes for just a couple of minutes. She tries to keep us involved in our life and her friends, but I really miss her.
Sometimes the worst is when I know she is not happy or not well (even if she does not say anything - I know her too well) - and I know that she has to go through life's experiences, and that we cannot shield our children from hurt and pain and loneliness. For our toddlers and preschoolers we can more or less protect them and keep them safe. With our teens we have to watch as they grow through experience.
I cling to our beloved "Benny's" (Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI) quote
"Even suffering is part of the truth of our life. Thus, trying to shield the youngest from every difficulty and experience of suffering, we risk creating, despite our good intentions, fragile persons of little generosity:The capacity to love, in fact, corresponds to the capacity to suffer, and to suffer together."
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: missing our kids
