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Helen
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I wanted to ask your opinon on practicing Our Lady's virtue of Angelic Sweetness. With 8 children, it seems sweetness is quickly and easily outplaced by the military bugle. 
I looked for something to start the conversation and found a very interesting PDF file from SOLT:
SOLT - Fomation guide for Virtues
page 5 has a chart of Our Lady's Principle virtues (according to St. Louis de Montfort) and suggestions on how to practice them. Sweetness is practiced by serving others...
I'm all ears 
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Ave Maria!
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Helen
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I had a chance to step out to library on my own this afternoon. On my way home I was thinking about Our Lady's Sweetness. Sweetness (or any virtue) will have its base in Christ and having contact with the Lord. OUr Lady's contact involved caring for Him as an Infant. She held Infinite Sweetness. She cared for and carried Him everywhere. She was embraced by Sweetness. She lived with Sweetness.
Have you ever had the experience of looking upon a newborn baby and being overwhelmed at the innocence and beauty?
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Maddie
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I am just discovering a relationship with the Blessed Mother, so forgive this ignorant question. What is SOLT, please?
I'll be watching this thread.
Thank you.
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Helen
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HI Maddie
SOLT stands for Society of Our Lady of the Trinity. The well known, gifted speakerFr. Corapi is a member of this order.
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Ave Maria!
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Chris V
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Helen wrote:
Have you ever had the experience of looking upon a newborn baby and being overwhelmed at the innocence and beauty? |
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It is overpowering, is it not? This can bring a grown man to tears, as it has been my experience.
This is a topic very near to my heart ~ I am very attached to our Blessed Mother and talk to her everyday. The image of the innocence and beauty of a newborn baby brings to mind a painting by Morgan Weistling, called: Kissing The Face of God
I have this painting in my bedroom, and cannot tell you just how many times this painting has brought me to tears at 2 am, when I'm awake with one of my children, or my infant, consoling, cuddling, and trying to be compasionate though my body just wants to fall asleep peacefully and rest.
Mary looks into the eyes of her baby boy. What is she thinking? She cannot possibly know what is to come in 12 years, 30 years, 33 years. She is a mother, like us all. Trying to raise her child, the best she knows how, and with absolute trust and faith in our Heavenly Father.
When tensions are high about my household, my first thought is always of our Mother and I stop, pray, and try my best to model myself after her ~ and how she might respond to a similar situation. It is this image of our Blessed Mother, holding her infant son, that makes me take pause in response to my own children and the infinite love I have for them  .
I'd like to hear other's thoughts as well. I love this thread. What a wonderful thing to ponder this morning, as I sit here sipping my hot coffee and reading our daily readings before all the house wakes...
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Willa
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I always think of St Francis de Sales when I think of "sweetness". I found this quote:
Quote:
| The person who possesses Christian meekness is affectionate and tender towards everyone: He is disposed to forgive and excuse the frailties of others; the goodness of his heart appears in a sweet affability that influences his words and actions, presents every object to his view in the most charitable and pleasing light. |
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I also found this
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| hope feeds us with its manna of sweetness |
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And it made me think that one thing that works against sweetness might be anxiety or fear. So often when I am not sweet with my children it's because their actions are rather shocking to me and I automatically project it into the future and imagine the same behavior magnified by adolescence or adulthood. Hope would steer a middle course because we wouldn't either deny the challenge OR feel over-anxiety about managing it and so maybe we could respond more sweetly because of that.
The angels always said "Do not be afraid."
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Willa
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Helen
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Chris V wrote:
Helen wrote:
Have you ever had the experience of looking upon a newborn baby and being overwhelmed at the innocence and beauty? |
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It is overpowering, is it not? This can bring a grown man to tears, as it has been my experience. |
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Isn't that beautiful Chris.
Willa wrote:
Quote:
| hope feeds us with its manna of sweetness |
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I really like that quote.
Willa wrote:
And it made me think that one thing that works against sweetness might be anxiety or fear.
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Fear or anxiety…yes...I was thinking of “pain.”
Pain causes us to furrow the brow or harden the eye. Pain can also consume our minds as well as our bodies making it difficult to lift our hearts and mind to God in prayer.
Where does pain come from?
Physical illness – the practice of “offering up” can help us in practicing sweetness. Our Lady sacrifice makes sacrifice sweet with her encouragement at Fatima.
Our Lady of Fatima wrote:
Offer sacrifices and say “For the love of God, conversion of sinners and sins against the Immaculate Heart.” |
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Others can cause us pain
Friends, family, acquaintances can cause us pain. Forgiveness will alleviate this pain helping in our practice of sweetness.
Our work
Back logged with work can make us feel pain. Jumping in and avoiding sloth will cure this pain.
The stress of life
Or another word ,,, our daily Crosses.
Along with offering up, stress might be helped with improved nutrition and exercise helping us to practice sweetness.
God
Even though God doesn’t will evil but allows it, sometimes, there are things which happen which God allows that are a test to our Faith. We just have to walk with Him in trust and love in conformity to His Will.
Identifying the source of "pain" or "anxiety" or "fear" and then finding answer can help to practice in the overall practice of the virtue of sweetness.
What are other ways to practicing Sweetness?
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Nina Murphy
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I don't tend to have difficulty practicing Sweetness toward my children, actually, but toward my husband. 
[But is this thread to center on mothering? Because we don't even need to go there, if that is not your intention, Helen.]
I could use suggestions on softening my heart toward other adults, actually, who I identify with "pain", "anxiety", "fear" (as you listed above) or other difficult emotions.
As mentioned with the overwhelming feeling of joy and serenity that bubbles up in the soul when encountering an infant, I find my initial reaction to most children to be one of wanting to be sweet to them and "gather them up" (one of outward affection)....but I tend to be more guarded after a certain age of maturity. I wish I could carry this trusting of innocence and goodness and "instictive sweetness" over past that certain age....I don't know how my brain differentiates or at what point!?
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Helen
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I don't think we have to limit ourselves to mothering. I wasn't in my list.
Pain seemed to me a general experience that mitigated against sweetness. If I could tame the pain then sweetness could flow.
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stellamaris
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Willa wrote:
Quote:
| hope feeds us with its manna of sweetness |
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And it made me think that one thing that works against sweetness might be anxiety or fear. So often when I am not sweet with my children it's because their actions are rather shocking to me and I automatically project it into the future and imagine the same behavior magnified by adolescence or adulthood. Hope would steer a middle course because we wouldn't either deny the challenge OR feel over-anxiety about managing it and so maybe we could respond more sweetly because of that.
The angels always said "Do not be afraid."
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The anxiety and impatience and angst born of fear is something I have definitely identified in my own home. What will become of this child if he/she continues in this behavior? And I panic, and put pressure in the form of disapproval or harsh words on my child to change, to grow up, to stop that fear-inducing behavior. I believe our Lady's sweetness came from her total trust in God. She was able to abandon her future and the future of her sweet child to the Father, absolutely confident that His way was the perfect way.
As far as de Montfort's list of Mary's virtues, I have at various times posted them on my refrigerator and focused on them one at a time. Well, actually, I posted them three times, and starting at the top of the list, began each time to work on "profound humility" where I have remained for about 10 years now  . I think it will take a lifetime, and then I'll be ready to move on to "blind obedience". Seriously, though, I love that list and Mary's virtues are our school of holiness.
Chris, I love that beautiful picture!
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Caroline
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Willa
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Helen wrote:
| Pain causes us to furrow the brow or harden the eye. Pain can also consume our minds as well as our bodies making it difficult to lift our hearts and mind to God in prayer. |
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Yes -- pain, too.
Sometimes something painful from the past has found an echo in the present situation. So it's like I have a bitter taste in my mouth, which is the opposite of "sweetness." And so I act out of that past sorrow or bitterness.
And of course, physical pain, too, or sometimes just weakness or fatigue, whether I caused it myself by poor health habits, or it is something else.
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Willa
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Helen
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Willa wrote:
I always think of St Francis de Sales when I think of "sweetness". I found this quote:
Quote:
| The person who possesses Christian meekness is affectionate and tender towards everyone: He is disposed to forgive and excuse the frailties of others; the goodness of his heart appears in a sweet affability that influences his words and actions, presents every object to his view in the most charitable and pleasing light. |
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I've been thinking that it is interesting to come up with men saints when thinking of sweetness or meekness.In some ways, the men who exercised the virtue of meekness stand out strongly. St. Vincent de Paul is also associated with sweetness and meekness. I think this must relate to connection between the strong and the powerful mastering their strenght to such a degree that they practice of sweetness. When powerful people are meek and sweet it is striking.
Plugging in Our Lady here, envisioning her with the Essence of Divine Sweetness in her arms, we can see the great power she exercises. She has control over Sweetness (Who is also the Almighty) and yet acts very mildly in regard to her power. She exercises her power with the Lord of the Universe on behalf of her other children -- The children she gave birth to at the foot of the Cross. The children she took into her arms when the Lord said, "Woman behold your son." There is pain in this childbirth. There is pain associated with her Spiritual Motherhood of men yet with us she is still very mild.
We pray
O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary.
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Pamin OZ
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Well, Caroline, that would be me, too. Staying on the first one for the rest of my life! I have a feeling it wouldn't be a bad way to go, though.
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CrunchyMom
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I've been thinking about pain, and I think that very often, the root of my pain is selfishness. Not always, sometimes it is that fear that Willa describes. However, I struggle with frustration over being interrupted, being asked to do more work, feeling taken advantage of, feeling ignored, feeling unappreciated.
Not in big ways, but when I have to ask repeatedly for my three year old to do something, and he ignores me, it not only concerns me that he's destined for a life of sin and crime, but also, it simply hurts my pride. When they make big messes in areas I just cleaned or straightened without any regard for my effort, it hurts my pride. And so on...
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Helen
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ChrisV wrote:
| Mary looks into the eyes of her baby boy. What is she thinking? She cannot possibly know what is to come in 12 years, 30 years, 33 years. She is a mother, like us all. Trying to raise her child, the best she knows how, and with absolute trust and faith in our Heavenly Father. |
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Chris, you are expressing the beautiful concept of Our Lady's trust in God. You are absolutely right and this is the most important part. Our Lady's trust of God was so great that it began in the Annunciation. Our Lady is often depicted with an open book in front of her, in her hand, or on her lap. This is the artistic way of showing that Our Lady knew the scriptures (such as Isaiah 53) in which it is foretold that the Messiah would suffer. Because of her Immaculate Conception, Our Lady didn't operate under the effects of a darkened intellect or a weakened will. Her Yes was a complete, resounding affirmation that she would become the Mother of the Messiah, the One who would conquer death and open the gates of Heaven for us. She knew that "by his stripes we would be healed."
A fantastic book by St. John Eudes called the Wondrous Childhood, opened up a completely new picture for me of Our Lady at the time of the Annunciation. The book is a long meditation on the privileges experienced by Our Lady who was also redeemed by her Son's Cross, but in advance of It. (Is this the way to explain this idea?)
If we add this knowledge of future suffering into Angelic Sweetness how often did Our Lady have to practice this virtue on a day to day basis? When her thoughts went to the future? Did they go to the future? St. Alphonsus di Liguori says they did. (There's a Mary Vitamin on this idea.) or is this knowledge of Her Son's future suffering a vehicle to practicing Sweetness?
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Helen
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For my morning spiritual reading, I've been slowly going through St. Josemaria Escriva's Friends of God. It is a book of homilies. (I believe Scepter press publishes several books of his homilies.) I look forward to my time with this book. It seems as though the Saint is with me, speaking to me personally. The manner of his spiritual direction is gentle yet true. When he makes suggestions, he includes himself as needing to listen to the advice. This familiarity brings him into the room.
I'll quote one passage in which he refers to serenity. I think the idea of serenity also points to the practice of Our Lady's Angelic Sweetness. What do you think?
St. Josemaria Escriva wrote:
Over the years, I have sought to rely unfalteringly for my support on this joyous reality. No matter what the situation, my prayer, while varying in tone, has always been the same. I have said to him: “Lord, you put me here. You entrusted me with this or that, and I put my trust in you. I know you are my Father, and I have seen that tiny children are always absolutely sure of their parents.” My priestly experience tells me that abandonment such as this in the hands of God stimulates souls to acquire a strong, deep, and serene piety, which drives them to work constantly and with an upright intention.”
Friends of God
Scepter Press, 218-19 |
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CrunchyMom
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I can see that the theological virtue for finding sweetness might vary a bit for each individual. If you find yourself reacting harshly out of despair for the future, you need hope. If it is out of pride, you need more love.
I suppose that the trustful abandon described above could find its initial source in any of the three virtues. I can envision serenity and sweetness being very closely related.
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Nina Murphy
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CrunchyMom wrote:
I can see that the theological virtue for finding sweetness might vary a bit for each individual. If you find yourself reacting harshly out of despair for the future, you need hope. If it is out of pride, you need more love.
I suppose that the trustful abandon described above could find its initial source in any of the three virtues. I can envision serenity and sweetness being very closely related. |
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Yes, I think this is so well expressed. And GENTLENESS. That is one that is soooo important that we weave into our relations with others in terms of the memories we forge and imprint.
I was thinking of some ways, Helen, that draw sweetness out of me.
***When I sing to the kids, especially lullabies, carols, or ballads.
***When I laugh with them, and hear THEM laugh.... I love that laugh. Favorite silly, funny books or movies help with this. It takes everyone to a different, lighthearted level.
***Being physically affectionate. Like John of the Cross said (something like),: when there is no love, PUT love, and there will *be* love.... If I reach out and make the connection, even if I feel burnt out, stingy, if I don't *feel* like it, I find myself sweeter and experiencing sweetness as a result.
***saying "thank you" and looking at that person in the eyes.
And lastly, in moderation, a glass of wine: gladdens my spirits and often helps me to be sweeter (for a time, obviously, in the evening); but it is *true* that we have played some of the best game rounds, and had some of the best discussions in these relaxed evening times....
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melanie
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I really liked what Chris said here, when she has trouble reacting in sweetness it is because she is particularly discouraged or even panicked about a child's behavior. Is that a good paraphrasing? I don't have the original post on the page in front of me. Anyway, I have a child that tries me severely every day, and I have a really, really hard time reacting sweetly to him anymore, even when he isn't really misbehaving, because his misbehavior is *so* frequent and overwhelming and I think I feel like I have to react harshly and "nip it in the bud" so to speak. Even though I know that's probably not the best way to go. And even when he is being well-behaved, he is still very...trying. Our personalities clash terribly. I think this child (he's my nephew, so he kind of dropped in our laps) was put here to make me a saint. If I can learn to handle him with gentleness and sweetness, I'll surely have achieved saintly virtue, . But, as I tell my husband, right now he is just a daily occassion of sin for me. I feel terrible to feel that way about a child. 
I like what Nina said about being physically affectionate when you aren't really feeling it...it is very difficult on some days for me to be affectionate with this child. He will try my nerves all day long, fighting with me all day/evening long right up until he falls into bed at night, and then call, "Aunt Mel, come tuck me in!!!", and I have to very literally grit my teeth to go in and hug and kiss this child good night sometimes. Surely he can sense this.  If I could grow in Mary's sweetness, it would surely help both of us!
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4Real Forums : Hidden Treasure
Topic: Angelic Sweetness
