| Author | |
LLMom
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 19 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 995
|
| Posted: April 13 2009 at 1:56pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
Hi Ladies,
It is good to be back after Lent. I was reading through a few messages that I missed during Lent and have noticed that quite a few seasoned mommies with large families and older kids feel the need to find something already laid out for them. I too am feeling this way, but then the mother guilt creeps up and I think, "Oh, I can do all of this myself." But everything that I want to do is some mom-intensive or there is a lot of prep work. How have any of you decided what to let go and just not worry about and what to focus your energy on? I want to do Bravewriter (which I have been), All about spelling,Latin (which I would have 3 levels to do!), lots of read-a-louds for history, Math-U-See, something fun for science, etc. Oh, and then I really have to help my special needs high schooler a lot. I can't do it all. Do you just resort to independent/workbook type stuff for some things or just ditch something you think is non-essential?
__________________
Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
stellamaris
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 26 2009
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2732
|
| Posted: April 13 2009 at 4:12pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I have found that there are seasons to homeschooling. Some years we accomplish a lot, and other years are not so academically oriented (although we all learn many other important lessons). When I am unable to do everything I would like to do, I try to focus on essential skills and subjects that are cumulative in nature. For us, these are reading, writing, math, and Bible/religion. These subjects are all cumulative and build gradually over the years; it would be hard to do a massive catch-up in these areas if you didn't keep on track (but not entirely impossible). I use some workbooks, especially in math. I put aside for a while science and history, or I substitute videos for instruction from me. Also, I try to choose books for them to read independently that focus on missing subjects. The seasons of our lives will change as surely as will the seasons of the year. Be willing to acknowledge your actual situation, respect your own limits (you can't, in fact, do it all!), ask for help from family/friends, and use some pre-planned materials, workbooks, videos, or other learning tools that don't require your intense involvement. It took me years to realize that my insistence on doing it all myself was pride and was not a positive attitude for either my own or my family's happiness.
__________________
In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to  dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Maria B.
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 16 2006
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 544
|
| Posted: April 13 2009 at 4:14pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
stellamaris wrote:
| The seasons of our lives will change as surely as will the seasons of the year. Be willing to acknowledge your actual situation, respect your own limits (you can't, in fact, do it all!), ask for help from family/friends, and use some pre-planned materials, workbooks, videos, or other learning tools that don't require your intense involvement. It took me years to realize that my insistence on doing it all myself was pride and was not a positive attitude for either my own or my family's happiness. |
|
|
Great wisdom! Been there, done that!
Thanks for sharing!
__________________
Maria in VA
Proud Mom to 10 Great kids!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bookswithtea
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: April 13 2009 at 6:00pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
stellamaris wrote:
| I have found that there are seasons to homeschooling. Some years we accomplish a lot, and other years are not so academically oriented (although we all learn many other important lessons). When I am unable to do everything I would like to do, I try to focus on essential skills and subjects that are cumulative in nature. For us, these are reading, writing, math, and Bible/religion. These subjects are all cumulative and build gradually over the years; it would be hard to do a massive catch-up in these areas if you didn't keep on track (but not entirely impossible). I use some workbooks, especially in math. I put aside for a while science and history, or I substitute videos for instruction from me. Also, I try to choose books for them to read independently that focus on missing subjects. The seasons of our lives will change as surely as will the seasons of the year. Be willing to acknowledge your actual situation, respect your own limits (you can't, in fact, do it all!), ask for help from family/friends, and use some pre-planned materials, workbooks, videos, or other learning tools that don't require your intense involvement. |
|
|
I was going to add in what we do, but I think I'll just say, "What she said"  Except I don't think its necessarily pride for families who plan it all themselves in the hard years. We have had some incredibly hard years where planning our own was the only thing that would have worked. I'd be inclined to say that the hardest part for me is just listening to God each year, and doing what He says (whether that's planning my own or taking advantage of other's plans), even when my mommy's heart wants to do something more elaborate (which *is* sometimes pride).
If you feel like its all just too hard, it may be a year for simplifying. And that's ok, even for a diehard CM minded mommy. 
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
amyable
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3798
|
| Posted: April 14 2009 at 7:17am | IP Logged
|
|
|
LLMom wrote:
| Do you just resort to independent/workbook type stuff for some things or just ditch something you think is non-essential? |
|
|
I do both, I think, and just which gets what morphs every year. I focus on the greatest needs, and the others often learn a lot from osmosis. For example, I *do* use All About Spelling as-is (or even more intense as I add in practices) for my oldest because she is dyslexic and it is the ONLY thing I have found that helps her learn spelling (and we've tried a lot). My 9yo gets NO spelling because she's age appropriate, my 6yo gets the AAS cards and tiles because she thinks it's fun, etc. I could not do the program as-is with everyone. I would not try to do Latin with my dyslexic because she has enough trouble with English! But if I chose to do a language I would pick my next-born's level and let the others watch/listen.
Right now the oldest have workbooks or "do the next page" type things for writing (Spectrum), Languagae arts (can't remember name, but it was from B&N), Math (Right Start and Teaching Textbooks - I know RS is supposed to be teacher intensive but I don't use it that way, I pretty much just teach the the workbook page and review when I notice she's not getting something).
Sorry this is kind of disjointed, my toddler just came over and wants to nurse and now I'm rushing. 
I'm sure it's different when the kids are older and there are more being taught at once. Ask me again in 5 years.
__________________
Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
amyable
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3798
|
| Posted: April 14 2009 at 7:22am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Oh and I find that I *can't* just find something all laid out and do it as is with any of my kids because their special needs and levels of ability vary so wildly I need to tweek (sometimes majorly) anyway, even within a subject. I don't have a "typical ____ grader" across the board out of any of my kids.
__________________
Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Nedra in So. CA
Forum Rookie
Joined: Nov 25 2008
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 79
|
| Posted: April 16 2009 at 5:20pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
n/a
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
BrendaPeter
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 28 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 981
|
| Posted: April 16 2009 at 7:44pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Hi Lisa,
I have found this blog post from an experienced homeschooling mom to be very insightful. Hope it helps a bit!
__________________
Blessings,
Brenda (mom to 6)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
LLMom
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 19 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 995
|
| Posted: April 17 2009 at 12:16pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Brenda,
I just recently read this too! However, I am unsure if she meant to abandon all of the CM type things in favor of workbooks. That is what it sounded like to me. It sounded like she was recommending a box curriculum like Seton and then adding in the fun things.
__________________
Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Lauri B
Forum Pro
Joined: March 11 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 208
|
| Posted: April 17 2009 at 5:45pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
It really can vary from year to year. Some years I'm full of creative energy and all the various things the kids need to cover flow together into a cohesive unit which I write myself.
Other years - no way!
Many years I've assembled prepared materials, typed up check-off lists, and had the children progress straight through the workbook. When this happens, I find I have more free time (less planning!) and can begin supplementing with fun things, hands on, crafts, cooking and field trips, etc. Often those years have been our favorites - even though they weren't "perfect".
Because homeschooling is a marathon, there will be years of downs and years of ups. They all can't be perfect, and often "good enough" is better!
Have no guilt! There are so many delightful prepared curricula out there. Choosing to do so for a year (or two or more) is perfectly OK.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bookswithtea
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: April 18 2009 at 7:39am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lauri B wrote:
Because homeschooling is a marathon, there will be years of downs and years of ups. They all can't be perfect, and often "good enough" is better!
|
|
|
I love this, Lauri!
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
|
| Posted: April 18 2009 at 10:45am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Lisa, I'm reading your question as if it is written to other educators who are big planners. Since I'm not a big planner, feel free to disregard my opinion  . I'll share, though, because you also asked about how you make decision about what to keep and what to pitch so here goes...
I don't do big plans because of my own weaknesses (I'm detail impaired for one thing) and out of practicality - to keep home education in proportion to my vocation. So, I'm not a planner in a detailed way, but I base what we do on principles. For example, "Go with Mom's strengths first," helps me to not get caught up in stuff that makes me miserable and wastes my time. "Distinguish between skills and knowledge," helps me to see the benefit of a micro-level math program and helps me to relax and enjoy books, movies, and discussion about macro-level subjects such as much of history. "Better late than early," helps me to be patient and not expect to do too much in the early years. "Don't jump from the frying pan into the fire," reminds me that if I'm over-planning or over-expecting, a pre-packaged curriculum (or even someone else's lovely plans) may not deal with my unrealistic goals and in the end, eat up more of my time and energy trying to do them than if I had just sat down and read some Living Books with the children.
Two weeks ago, I was talking with a dear friend who "schools" very differently than I do but we share very similar principles that help us to stay (mostly) happy in our work. We brainstormed together about these principles and laughed about how "Go with Mom's strengths first" plus "Time spent planning home education is time that can be spent doing other things" equals minimal planning and lots of reading and discussion for me, but for her it equals workbooks that she can easily assign and correct so that they can finish their academics quickly in the morning and go participate in outside activites.
Hope this isn't too confusing! If I find that list of principles, I'll go ahead and start a topic about them at Philosophy of Education. Praying for you as you discern what is best for your family!
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
|
| Posted: April 18 2009 at 11:52am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Angie Mc wrote:
If I find that list of principles, I'll go ahead and start a topic about them at Philosophy of Education. Praying for you as you discern what is best for your family!
Love, |
|
|
Principles of Happy Moms who Home Educate
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
ALmom
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 18 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3299
|
| Posted: April 18 2009 at 6:56pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I was going to post something similar to Angie - except my problem is scatterbrained and I'm a detail learner (ie I get to the big picture through the details which is opposite all my children. It is best if I do all this detail work for me ahead of time, then I'm already at the big picture and not loosing them with detail by the time I try to work with them. I also make note of things as I'm looking at the materials and deciding so everything is all organized before we start. You'll know whether or not more or less planning is the key by the way the children respond and such. My children are begging me to keep the detailed planning going - we got so much more done, they tend to be one passion oriented and easily distracted so they find the plans help them stay focused. (But my plans in some subjects are extremely loose - like the science for my science whiz. As long as he is doing something, and it isn't overly dangerous, I'm not worried. I must say, I don't do planning per say - I beg and borrow from everything I have so it is mostly copy and paste at this point except I'm a dinasaur so it is by hand instead of computer - so bottom line is that I have to have detailed plans for me. The bottom line is that you do have to prioritize, consider each child's most pressing needs,their passions and learning styles, your strengths and most glaring weaknesses and teaching style (ie what is most natural for you) and ways that are practical in your house to streamline. It was funny how much it helped me to identify my most glaring weaknesses! Suddenly we saw where a lot of wasted time was going - doing detailed circles with me trying to learn enough detail in science to explain things to the kids - but yikes what a disaster and I don't even like the subject or learn it the same way as the kids. Anything is better than me teaching this one.
Here is a summary of our thought process:
For each child we pick the biggest, most important goals we have (not all of them are academic ones) and this is where we really plan. This changes from year to year so this year we were focused on spelling with one child and writing with another and science was the overall bear we had to finally tackle. Next year some of this will shift somewhat based on the real progress we've made. This decision making is done both in conversation with the child and in private discussion between husband and I. Now, how we achieve the goal has to be a good blending of child's learning style and my abilities and styles - or we better have a darn good do it yourselfer program if it doesn't fit me at all or another option like another teacher. - Sometimes in an area of total weakness on my part, then the best thing for us to do is get a teacher/co-op or sign up for a provider for that course unless it is the child's passion, in which case a loose list of supplies and topics of interest with lots of stuff to do is all I need. I might even have a text or workbook around - but not to assign. If the subject is my burning delight, I won't be happy with anything anyone provides and will end up planning it myself anyways - but find having plans to modify easier for me than creating from scratch.
Academically, I focus on the area that is most likely (viewed from this year) to make or break them. Sometimes the real make or break isn't academic but organizational or attention to detail - then we strategize a way to foster this using things we have to do anyways coupled with planning the tools that might help said child achieve this.
I also look at the child's passion. If I can strengthen a weakness by using a passion, all the better. Is it really necessary to write out detailed plans for a child in their passion. Maybe this is particularly true in my hands on learning household, but honestly, in their passions, I'd just get in the way. I talk to them about what their vision is for the next year and make sure I have plenty of materials (new books, projects, tools, references, etc for them to run with this and then some. If they are older, I unfortunately have to look at how to document because these same hands on folks are not particularly good at record keeping. I won't have a clue without some sort of product so we discuss ideas. I cannot create this myself as I'm a science dunce so if all else fails, we resort to something canned for at least the older folks. But my passion kids generally come up with some rather elaborate ideas - so we write these down so I'll remember that this is what we said we'd do. Better to have a general idea, a resource list and let them run. Areas of strength or general competency but not passions we can either drop for a year or do in a more workbooky style if needed without a real problem.
Oh, I also look at the subject itself. Some tend to be more naturally workbooky, like math in terms of practice after a certain point so while we may have some fun and games interspersed and loosely planned and lots of tools on hand to illustrate concepts, it really isn't necessary for me to plan out day by day with math - each day has the name of the book on the plan and the child fills in the page numbers. I review it and we either move onto the next page or we spend some time solidifying concepts. History, I do a lot more planning because I'm interspersing books by time period and so I have a sequence planned out even if we don't strictly follow a day by day thing.
I look to ways to consolidate - both putting children covering same general subjects in things like history and science and in not have gazillion subjects. If the child is a competent speller do I need a book or can we just look at the written compositions and go from there. Will it matter if we skip it one year as far as formal work. If we just did intense work in grammar, maybe this year we skip formal grammar and write - and use that as review as we see a need. I have an intense program I use with one child who just doesn't learn spelling any other way. It is teacher intense and I don't use it with anyone else, though it is an excellent program. I have become so familiar with the rules that when a natural speller misspells something, we point out a strategy/rule that applies kind of thing. If the child likes a workbook and it doesn't bog either of us done - fine. If not, informal spelling in the context of work is more than enough - sometimes better depending on the child. In general, whatever the oldest is studying in history and science becomes the framework. Next year it will be US history and govt. so we'll all be reading things along those lines. This way I don't have to plan as much or have as many resources. I just have all kinds of age levels for the subject and do mostly reading and timelines with the youngers while the olders have more paper topics. We have projects available and these are done by the kids together.
Realistically, how much checking and reviewing can I do with children. What things really need my attention and what things just need my spot-checking. Workbooks make it easier for me to spot check certain subjects. The one thing I've found is that in science, I simply cannot teach it - so in the younger grades we resort to lots of homescience stuff, lots of books, lots of 3 part cards which means science is primarily self taught in the younger grades. If they don't develop a passion for it, then by high school we have to find a teacher, and resort to it is not the best but good enough textbook mode just to have the thing done. (Hiring a one on one tutor has been the best but it won't and cannot happen every year, but we grab it when the opportunity presents - even if I have to spend 2 hours in the car every week). I have 6 children, and if they all write papers, do math, grammar, spelling, reading, etc. yikes there isn't time in the day to really do justice. If I'm great at discerning the stumbling block and coming up with alternate ways of teaching math, then fine I can use whatever and review this work regularly. If math sends me into panic land and we just get further and further behind, then perhaps something that does more of the teaching and checking for you helps. One year it was so nice to just use Seton Geometry - it saved me time having to look at the proofs even though I was competent and able, I had a bigger priority with a new baby and lots of therapy to do. This child didn't have a lot of trouble with math and if she could hand in the stuff to someone else to grade, it meant it got graded more regularly which was really more important than having the absolute best program. Most years, I do Geometry on my own. I'm picky in math and history. On the other hand, if my children know I'll never know what to say about their compositions, and they get sloppy knowing that and I panic and stress over it cause I'm not quite sure how to show them how and what to do at some level - then I find someone who will review papers. I went with Seton reading for a younger child just for that purpose. I don't plan it to be long term - just long enough for me to get my feet wet doing 2 highschoolers at once - one of whom struggles academically and one who suddenly wants to just hurry up and finish! I have all my highschoolers hand in papers to someone else, otherwise paper topics end up being busy work in our house. I'm just not good at reviewing papers.
I look first at what I have on hand and if it will work good enough here. We try to save the investment time and money wise in the things that really need work or are passions or the area of mom's total imcompetency!
Janet
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Willa
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3881
|
| Posted: April 18 2009 at 7:26pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Janet's thoughts reminded me of my Considerations which I generally use in some form to get started planning for my children.
However, that being said, things are going well for us just staying pretty closely to the Ambleside curriculum. That is what I plan to do for next year at least.
To measure what I as mom am prepared to do, I take this
Mercy Academy New Homeschooler Test every year or so. It pinpoints your teaching style -- whether you're a "design your own" "tweak someone else's" or "stick like glue to a planned curriculum" type person. I find that sometimes I come out as someone who wants to mostly design my own and some years I come out as someone who wants to take something pre-made and tweak it just slightly. I've never come out as a "stick like glue" I've found it helpful so am posting it just in case someone hasn't already seen it.
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
stellamaris
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 26 2009
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2732
|
| Posted: April 18 2009 at 8:07pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thanks for that post, Willa! Interesting test...I was relieved to learn that I "had the gumption to design a curriculum and stick to it"....sometimes I wonder!
__________________
In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Nedra in So. CA
Forum Rookie
Joined: Nov 25 2008
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 79
|
| Posted: April 18 2009 at 8:19pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
n/a
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
teachingmyown
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5128
|
| Posted: April 28 2009 at 2:40pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
As I was taking the test, Willa, I kept telling my dd13 that if anyone read my answers I would get fired from homeschooling and raising my kids!!! 
In the end it told me what I already knew, I need flexibility but a framework of structure to help me keep calm and focused. The bad thing about that is that I am still sitting here paralyzed by my "options". 
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Kristie 4
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 20 2006
Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1508
|
| Posted: April 29 2009 at 9:58am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I can relate Molly-I had the same outcome and am feeling like you right now....
__________________
Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
stellamaris
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 26 2009
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2732
|
| Posted: April 29 2009 at 1:27pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
My college psychology professor once said, "Option leads to neurosis." It's stuck with me all these years, I think, because it is true. There are so many options for teaching our children that it can create confusion. I have thought about this a lot. Why do I choose one course of study, and then, when a new catalog or new information comes along, feel I have to try the new way? I have concluded that there are a few underlying misconceptions that are getting in my way, preventing me from focusing and being content with ONE plan:
1. I'm afraid of failure If I don't have the right curriculum, I will fail as a mom and teacher and utterly ruin my children's lives. Response: Children learn under many different systems; a loving environment is more important than a fancy curriculum. It would be really over-inflating the importance of the curriculum to think it could ruin their lives, especially when so many different books and methods have been successful over the ages.
2. The perfect curriculum choices will make my life perfect Somehow I always fall for this one-the right books will magically solve all my problems. This is an extension of our generally materialistic culture that looks for the answers to life in that which can be purchased. Response: The only place that is perfect is heaven, the only perfect Parent is our heavenly Father, the true solutions to our troubles are found in prayer.
3.The right curriculum choice will compensate for my own lack of virtue If only! Sometimes I feel oppressed by my lack of consistent good habits, and then I turn to new/different curriculum choices thinking they will somehow make my days more orderly, serene, and productive. Actually, as you commented above, it only leads to confusion and discouragement, which now that I think of it should alert us right away to the source of these temptations. God is never the author of confusion. It's a kind of spiritual trap. Response: There's no substitute for self-discipline (bummer!), including the self-discipline necessary to stick with a curriculum that is working reasonably well.
Well, I don't know if any of this resonates with you all, but it's just what's been on my mind of late.
__________________
In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: not wanting/able to plan anymore
