| Author | |
Bella
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 18 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 571
|
| Posted: March 10 2009 at 2:24pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
I "gave up" a couple of *material* habits for Lent. Well, I have failed on one of them-big time! Even worse, it is the thing our whole family "gave up"....sugary treats. I have been sneaking some here and there. 
Do I need to take this to Confession? I am so ashamed of myself. 
__________________
Peace and Blessings,
Bella
Wife and Mom to my sweeties!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JennGM
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 17702
|
| Posted: March 10 2009 at 3:02pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Big hugs, Bella! You are not alone, trust me. Lenten resolutions are personal things and not under the pain of sin, so no worries.
I was reading The Secrets of Jesuit Soupmaking: A Year of Our Soups by Brother Rick Curry early in Lent and was so struck by his story that illustrates the universal weakness of human nature:
Quote:
I could hardly wait for my fourteenth birthday when I would be old enough to apply to the State of Pennsylvania for the working papers that would allow me to hold a job. In those days, getting working papers was a rite of passage for teenage independence. Almost immediately after my papers arrived from the State Departement of Employment I landed a job as soda jerk at Eagle Drug, a neighborhood pharmacy owned and operated by Morris and Esther Bloomfield. Morris and his son Gene worked in the pharmacy departement, while Esther, whom we called Mrs. Bloomfield, ran the soda fountain and candy stand. My duties included helping Mrs. Bloomfield dispense delicious ice cream delights at the soda fountain and delivering prescriptions by bicycle to local customers.
At the beginning of Lent, Mrs. Bloomfield volunteered the information that there would be a sharp decline in candy and ice cream sales, but only for about the first ten days of the season. She had noticed a lack of resolve on the part of our Catholic customers who had promised to refrain from eating sweets for the duration of Lent but who would gradually slip back onto their favorite soda fountain stools way before the forty days were over. This astute observation left a profound impression on me and I wondered why we did lose our resolve. |
|
|
So, you're not alone. I've failed lots, too, Bella. Just look at resolutions as one day (or even one hour at a time). Don't look back or beat yourself up for failing. We're human and weak. Just give it all to Jesus, so He can make all our imperfect offerings perfect. Ask for His help, since we can't do anything without Him. The devil wants us to feel ashamed and give up completely. Don't do it. Just offer up your failing, pick yourself up and start again. I'm having to do that over and over again.
That's all the time I have now, but I do hope it helps a little.
__________________
Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mom2mpr
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 16 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1550
|
| Posted: March 10 2009 at 5:07pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Just so you know...same here....sigh....
Anne
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Willa
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3881
|
| Posted: March 10 2009 at 5:56pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
So interesting, Jenn.
If it's any help, Bella, I am a convert -- and tried to give up chocolate for years and years, I don't want to say how many, before I ever managed it successfully throughout a Lent. It taught me a lot about myself, and just how little I could depend on my own personal resources of strength and will, and I think that is part of the point.
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Alice R
Forum Pro
Joined: May 28 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 169
|
| Posted: March 10 2009 at 7:51pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I did not do very well either.
I'm sure many of us have failed or not done our best.
Tomorrow is a new day.
__________________
Mom to Nathaniel (10), Noah (8) Alise (6) Rebekah (3)and expecting another blessing Faith, Grace and Family
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mariB
Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 20 2006
Location: Vermont
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3815
|
| Posted: March 11 2009 at 5:59am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Yes...the chocolate...and it would never fail that the Girl Scout cookies would show up at my front door right at my very hour of temptation. Needless to say, I do not order them anymore!
We are trying something a little different this year. While we all have our personal sacrifices, we are doing our Lenten practices together as a family.
We have four containers. Each one has pieces of paper in them with different things you can sacrifice, acts of charity, and a daily Lenten fast to do together as a family.
For instance:
Our family's Lenten fast yesterday was from meat. That was what our daughter picked out of the jar. And...it was a sacrifice! My husband later informed me that when he woke up he thought about the new hamburger meat we bought and how he would make a delicious hamburger for lunch.
Anyhow, it really has been helping to practice our Lenten fasts and sacrifices as a family.
Hope this helps just a little? I've realized over the years how weak I am and that's why I really try to make an effort for more prayer time and Bible Reading.
Blessings,
__________________
marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
amarytbc
Forum Pro
Joined: July 06 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 323
|
| Posted: March 11 2009 at 11:18am | IP Logged
|
|
|
 We've had the same struggles here. I've learned two things about the family giving up sweets-limit it to dessert like sweets and candy. That eliminates everything important, but allows for things like yogurt that have sugar but aren't really the types of treats we crave. Secondly, clear all temptations out of the house including the 8 little chocolate chips that are in the bottom of a bag in the back of the pantry. Toss them, or if there are a lot and they were expensive, ask a friend to store them in their freezer. I've stored some things in the bottom of our ice chest. I confess these types of things with the root cause of "a desire for immediate gratification" or if it's the case, "a lack of patience." In these situations, I make an act of contrition and start again. You'll do fine from now on!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
CandaceC
Forum Pro
Joined: June 03 2007
Location: Tennessee
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 413
|
| Posted: March 12 2009 at 11:15am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Since I'm reading this post and adding to it, you'll know that I'm failing too...mine was to fast from internet. I did great for the first week. Then I fell off the bandwagon. Thank you for posting, though...as I was feeling a bit alone in this. 
__________________
Candace - wife to David since 2000...mommy to Hannah (Feb. 2002), Emily (April 2003) and Caleb (March 2005)
His Mercy Is New
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
|
| Posted: March 12 2009 at 11:36am | IP Logged
|
|
|
A few things help me to be patient with my failures...
For me, admitting failure is painful and humbling, which is good for my soul.
Just like Jenn said, I have to break down the 40 days into little pieces, little chuncks of time, or I get overwhelmed and easily defeated.
When I fail, I entrust my failure to God's infinite mercy and leave it in the past and get back on track in the present.
...Way easier said than done .
ETA: Thanks for the story, Jenn!
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Sarah
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 17 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1624
|
| Posted: March 12 2009 at 3:08pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Bella
,
Those Lents that we tried to give up sweets didn't work. It has been much more successful to just give up one type of sweet like cookies, for example.
Sugar is a complex issue since it can really be craved.
This year I just added something instead of giving up sweets. It has been much better for me. Sweets are really a morale booster for me. Being a mother is difficult. Even if we get physical breaks from the kids, there's never a mental break. Hiding in a closet with a candy bar is funny and relaxing. I do it!
Cut yourself some slack. Maybe just add a thing instead. Like I'm making toast and egg for dh each morning and trying to make sure he has socks. One day I overslept and just this afternoon he was digging for socks. But I am trying so hard at this. Just picking myself up and starting again.
__________________
Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
teachingmyown
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5128
|
| Posted: March 12 2009 at 8:55pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
This is near and dear to my heart! I really thought this year I should be able to do it. I am not pregnant or newly postpartum. But I am finding it as hard as ever! I am so tired and today I felt so out of sorts. I had given up all sweets, including my coffee which is more of a sweet. I gave in today and had the coffee because I just felt like I was going to drop.
Sarah, I like your take on it. It turns into a pride issue for me and becomes a battle with myself throughout Lent rather than sanctifying me. I berate myself for not being able to rely on God when I am weak. Really, I need to admit that my body depends on the sugar and I need to take a long term approach to weaning myself for sake of my health. In the meantime, I am a better mom on sugar! 
I think I turn my focus to more spiritual and service-oriented sacrifices for the rest of Lent.
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Kristin
Forum Pro
Joined: April 03 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 317
|
| Posted: March 13 2009 at 10:04am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I was never one to make use of the Sunday reprieve from Lenten fasts, but this year I decided to try it. The children chose to give up candy and desserts so I figured I would join them on it. They seemed to need the Sunday "break", so I joined them on that as well. 
It has made all the difference for me! Hard to put into words, but it has taken the edge off of the whole experience, allowing me to actually enter more into the sacrifices during the week and grow more spiritually. Even still, I have had my own failures, but I'm finding that I don't dislike Lent as I did in the past!
This is a very interesting and helpful thread. Thanks everyone for sharing!
__________________
Bunch 'o Honey to my Honey Bunch and Mama to five - Noah 10y , Rose 8y  , Dominic 2.5 y  , Oliver 16m
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JennGM
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 17702
|
| Posted: March 13 2009 at 12:31pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Kristin, that's interesting. I was just going to post about having that Sunday break is very helpful. I KNOW I'm weak. Dh and I lower our sweet intake during Lent, but I don't make it a "I gave up all sugar for Lent." I do evaluate on whether it's for charitable reasons (social reasons) or even hormonal (sometimes you *Need* that chocolate).
It helps me to embrace the mortification one "temptation" at a time. If I want a sweet, I delay it, or take less than I would really desire. And many times just that delay makes me convinced to walk away from it completely.
So really what I'm trying to do this Lent is curbing my desire for instant gratification with food, and I can do that battle one bit at a time.
__________________
Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Kristin
Forum Pro
Joined: April 03 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 317
|
| Posted: March 13 2009 at 1:22pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Jenn, what you have just said is helpful to me. Taking it one step at a time, going by degrees, and looking at the individual circumstances. I thought quite a bit about chocolate when considering whether to give it up because I think I may actually have a Magnesium deficiency. I find your comments about that interesting.
I'm beginning to think that many of the struggles I've had in the past with Lent have had to do with being a hard-liner with myself and the subsequent failure - and downward spiral. It certainly was not very beneficial for me spiritually. I guess it comes down to moderation ... and humility in regards to our weaknesses.
__________________
Bunch 'o Honey to my Honey Bunch and Mama to five - Noah 10y , Rose 8y , Dominic 2.5 y , Oliver 16m
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
stellamaris
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 26 2009
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2732
|
| Posted: March 13 2009 at 5:24pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
A priest once told me that the best penances are those that the Lord chooses for us...not those we select for ourselves. To endure our daily sufferings and crosses without grumbling or complaining, to mourn over our weaknesses and humbly acknowledge our need for grace and repentance, to accept interruptions, delays, and disintegrated plans with a confident trust in God are true opportunities for us to grow in the spiritual life. Even if you can't keep a Lenten practice, you can embrace the penances God sends you.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mary theresa
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 08 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 766
|
| Posted: March 14 2009 at 12:38pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thank you for this thread, I am not doing well over here either.
__________________
Mary Theresa
mother to 3 little girls --March '06, Dec '07 and Jan '10
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Servant2theKing
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 13 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1505
|
| Posted: March 16 2009 at 1:01pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Last week, one of the readings from Divine Intimacy fit very well with this subject;
"Humility in Our Falls".
"If we contemplate our misery without raising our eyes to God, the Father of mercies, we will easily become discouraged. By examining ourselves thoroughly, we will see that discouragement always comes from two closely related causes. The first is that we depend upon our own strength; through it our pride is wounded and deceived when we fall. The second is that we lack reliance on God; we do not think of referring to Him in times of prosperity, nor do we have recourse to Him when we fail Him. In short, we act by ourselves; we try to succeed alone, we fall alone, and alone we contemplate our fall. The result of such conduct can only be discouragement. Indeed, how could we expect to find in ourselves the strength to rise again, when it was our very want of strength that made us fall? God does not want us to act by ourselves."
"When we fall into the same imperfections after so many good resolutions; when after many efforts we still no not succeed in correcting certain faults or in overcoming certain difficulties, and we find ourselves in one way or another far beneath what we ought or would like to be, let us have recourse to the infallible remedy of humility."
The good priest's wise counsel regarding penances that the Lord chooses for us, shared by stellamaris, is truly fitting and helpful to this soul that has always struggled through 40 days of self-imposed Lenten sacrifices. Oh, how much more meaningful it can be to embrace our God-given crosses and trials well. Homeschooling mothers, by virtue of their multi-layered vocation, have the splendid opportunity to embrace an abundance of sacrifices, day by day, not onyl during Lent, but all throughout the year. Simply making each daily act as mother and teacher a sacrifice of love, in a fully intentional way, especially during Lent, might be even more pleaseing to our Lord than foregoing all the sweets or chocolate in the world. Those are still worthy penances, but for some of us, embracing the cross God Himself has blessed us with might be even more fruitful and beneficial to our souls.
While contemplating Divine Intimacy's, "Humility in Our Falls", we listened anew to an inspiring Christion song by Bob Carlisle, "We Fall Down"...One verse insightfully says, "...if the priest who fell, could find the Grace of God to be enough, then there must be some hope for the rest of us..." the refrain reminds us, "The saints are just the sinners who fall down...and get up". Taking those words even further, we can meditate on the Stations of the Cross and our Lord's own falls on the road to Calgary. What grace-filled inspiration lies in our Divine Lord's blessed example...He, Who was Divine, repeatedly fell down and got back up, that we might be encouraged in our own falls to get back up, over and over again as well...not only in our Lenten journey, but all throughout our lifelong journey to Him.
May those who have fallen renew our Lenten focus with hope of being ever more united to our Lord and Saviour through the sacrifices and offerings He has called us to fulfill, in union with His Passion.
__________________
All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bella
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 18 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 571
|
| Posted: March 16 2009 at 5:52pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Ladies-many,many to all of you!!
Thanks to all of you for sharing your own trials or readings! I am so humbled and inspired-and so grateful to receive such comforting words of wisdom and generosity.
Here is where I am at....
After much prayer, I decided that my "failure"(too harsh of a description,huh?) was perhaps the Holy Spirit calling on me to take a closer look at my situation. I realized, that my sugar consumption was a combination of cravings(simple carbs,too) and outright addiction. I was stumped as to how to handle this,as I started seeing it as a problem, effecting me on many levels. I prayed to Him to help me listen...along the lines of, "Lord, what do you want me to learn from this?" Well, it was no surprise, to have the phone ring a couple of days later-a friend from Church inviting me for tea. During tea, this friend shared with me how she was following a diet that started out "detoxing" her from simple carbs-including sugar. The sole purpose, was to kill the sugar cravings, and help to stabilize her blood sugar levels. After the first two weeks, she would then slowly add back in to her "diet", good carbs. She said it was working, she felt better, and was losing weight,too! This "diet" is called The South Beach Diet. I decided to check some books out from the library, and decide for myself. I've never been on a diet-opposed to them, actually! This is very different-really just common sense. It is restrictive in the first two weeks, as it requires no bad fats or bad carbs. Eventually, it becomes an improved way of eating-and indulging in a whole chocolate bar or piece of cake is no biggy.
I am happy to say, that I have jumped on board with this, and am feeling really well!  I indulged in a fudgesicle yesterday, while the rest of the family ate St. Patricks's day cupcakes. If I lose 20 lbs while doing this, great! If I improve my blood chemistry-even better. If I conquer my sugar/bread cravings, I will know it was due to my eating habits and not vitamin,mineral or hormone related.
Most importantly, I feel like what I am doling, is what God wants me to be doing. Maybe I'm wrong-but it feels right. I honestly feel, that this process will help me to improve an area of my homemaking that I am weak in-cooking! I am choosing to change the way I cook for myself, and my family.This requires planning and more food prep-something I have been so bad at-and consequently-causing us to spend more money on food. DH has even more reason to be supportive!!
I will call it a "God-shove" in the right direction.  Serioulsy though, I can't do this without Him, and ask for His help so many times a day. I AM weak-that's okay....I am learning that it is okay. It did help, that our priest gave a little "pep-talk" during his homily yesterday!
Thanks, for all of the support!!!
__________________
Peace and Blessings,
Bella
Wife and Mom to my sweeties!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Jody
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 16 2009
Location: Ohio
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 709
|
| Posted: March 17 2009 at 9:10pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thank you ladies! It's nice to know that I'm not alone in my struggles.
Peace, Jody
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: I have failed on my Lenten fasting....
