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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: July 22 2008 at 10:12am | IP Logged
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Eleanor wrote:
But perhaps we are in the same library.  |
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 True. True.
May I ask...since picture books has become a BIG product of my time and energy and my home library...which picture books do all of you consider "heavy"?
Perhaps that might help me to get a better picture.
I know the year I was putting together Catholic Mosaic, I read Tomie dePaola's "Clown of God" to our Mosaic group and there was an audible gasp from one of the mothers when the clown falls down dead. None of the chidlren seemed phased but this mother was in tears and had to leave the room.
She told me later what a beautiful book it was and voted to have it offered in the Mosaic. She said she just wasn't expecting the ending at all.
So I guess preparation and discussion goes hand=in-hand even in the presentation of picture books.
Books that move a reader that deeply are better books than the ones that stir no emotion at all.
Right?
Back to the "real" question: What picture books do you all classify as "heavy"? I'm anxious to know. 
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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joann10
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| Posted: July 22 2008 at 11:02am | IP Logged
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I think the "heaviest" picture book that we read-without me being prepared for it- was Pink and Say by Patricia Polacco.
We were in the library, enjoying our "Author Fiesta" and I picked this up and read it aloud to ds-7 and dd-6 while we waited for big kids to finish up browsing.
I was just blubbering by the end--  and the kids were definetly "shook-up" some. Ths is book is still discussed regularly around here-by everyone.
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Eleanor
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| Posted: July 22 2008 at 12:07pm | IP Logged
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Good question, Cay.
The examples I gave earlier (about war, mental illness, etc.) were ones where you could see it coming. One that took me by surprise was Dandelions by Eve Bunting. I've since found out that she specializes in "heavy issues," but, at the time, I was unaware of this. We had read and liked her book A Day's Work, which is about a grandfather and grandson who are day laborers. It basically has a message of "be honest, respect your elders, and make good on a promise." Maybe a little over my children's heads at times, but not something that would upset them.
Dandelions looked promising, too: it's about a pioneer family, it's beautifully illustrated, and Amazon lists the reading age as 4-8 (a standard rating, which I now know to take with a large grain of salt). It turns out that the book is primarily about the family's emotional difficulties adjusting to their new way of life, and especially about the mother's depression. It's not "Ma dropped a log on her foot" -- it's more of a pervasive sense of bleakness and misery.  It went straight to "the box" without the children hearing it.
Another one that's still on the shelves for now -- but has been taken out of regular storytime rotation -- is Psalm 23 by Tim Ladwig. The pictures of "mine enemies" (mean-looking gang members) are powerful images that are pretty graphic and scary. The fact that it's set in a contemporary urban neighborhood, with the "bad guys" right outside the little boy's home, makes it seem more immediate and threatening than the violence in a traditional version of a Bible story. Again, I think this would be more appropriate in a few years' time.
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Rachel May
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| Posted: July 22 2008 at 4:11pm | IP Logged
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Eleanor wrote:
I would be very interested to hear about other families' experiences in this area, especially if you have children like my 4.5-year-old, who's very much inclined to "bite off more than she can chew" in terms of weighty and potentially disturbing ideas.
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My, rather small, thoughts are these: I am best able to guage how to discuss sensitive issues with my kids, but I can't always choose the when. So sometimes they will be exposed to heavy ideas early because they have older siblings. When it happens, I deal with it much the way Martha and Cay described.
And sometimes I purposely choose heavy books because I want my kids to feel the emotions. A good example is Hiroshima No Pika which is a favorite around here. Living in Hawaii you can not escape the history of the attack on Pearl Harbor so I felt very blessed that our library there also had this book to help us feel the horror caused by the bomb we dropped on Hiroshima. I think of it as teaching empathy.
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Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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donnalynn
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| Posted: July 22 2008 at 4:55pm | IP Logged
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Eleanor -
I have definite ideas about what books and topics I like for certain ages. With that said I also think God knows what He is doing in arranging the birth order of our children.
My youngest certainly has been exposed to more at a younger age than my oldest was when she was young. I think the loving embrace of a secure family helps integrate subjects that are for older children when little ones are about too. I think my older girls also have that same sense of "protecting innocence".
Er... except that time when the then 4 yr -old came home asking if the roots of the birch trees down by the stream could really grab him - thank you very much big sister! But this is what I mean - the oldest didn't have anyone to sort of try these scary ideas out with - the younger children get more experience on a wider range of topics in a very natural way (and usually in a playful non threatening way).
You have very young children - there is plenty of time to get to those heavier books when they are a good deal older. I think you will find a natural progression in your family and that as the children age the choices in literature will even out.
Right now I still curl up in bed with the 6 and 8 year-old to read picture books and the ones you describe I probably would have skipped over too, even now. In the evenings all the children listen to the same read aloud - usually a family oriented tale - they all enjoyed "The Penderwicks", the Martha books... things like that - not what I would necessarily pick out to read if I only had a six year-old but you will find books that are *good* for everyone.
The same is true for most of our "school subjects" - I can usually find a something that interests all the children and assign different independent reading for certain grade levels.
I would say to stick with your own intuition on what your children can handle and at what age. I do tend to "shelter" - God seems to know when we need to face a difficult situation - I try to embrace those times with faith and courage but have no need to explore *all* of the world's ills with any of my children!
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Eleanor
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| Posted: July 22 2008 at 6:09pm | IP Logged
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Thank you, Rachel and Donna, for your thoughts.
I've decided not to bother keeping the "too heavy" picture books. I wouldn't want to have them out on the shelves, even among the "grown-up books," as the little ones would surely notice them sooner or later and want to read them. (It's like having strong medicine that's packaged to look like candy.) And it doesn't make sense to keep them in a box in the closet for years on end, only pulling them out for an occasional reading by an older child.
If we do find ourselves looking for books like these in the future, we can most likely find them (and many more along the same lines) at the library.
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vmalott
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| Posted: July 23 2008 at 7:46am | IP Logged
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Eleanor wrote:
So, to clarify the original question:
How do those of you who are using a family-centered and literature-based approach, with a wide range of ages, ensure that your little ones aren't exposed to "heavy topics" before they're ready for them? |
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I've read through the responses, and I'm still not sure you've gotten an answer.
We use a family-centered approach in our studies, but I will readily admit that the little ones are not required to be in attendance. In fact, I really won't make anyone under 3rd grade sit for a "family" read-aloud for history (for a variety of reasons).
Topics that I want my olders to be exposed to, I usually assign in their related, independent reading. The younger children will be read "lighter" material that's related in some way, or will engage in a hands-on project. That way, our approach to learning is still "family-centered" and age-appropriate.
Pre-reading is important, IMO, regardless of what lists you use to get suggestions for books. A list is just a guideline...only you know your children best. That's one of the beauties of homeschooling. You have the freedom to choose what your children are exposed to and can maintain their innocence a little longer, all the while administering the "real world" to them in small doses.
BTW, your daughter sounds incredibly BRIGHT
Hope this helps a bit,
Valerie
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Eleanor
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| Posted: July 23 2008 at 10:59am | IP Logged
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Thanks, Valerie, that was very helpful.
Those book lists are so convenient, I would love to be able to rely on them as written -- but I guess there's no free lunch!
I'm glad we have a while to figure this out.
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Connections
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| Posted: July 23 2008 at 12:35pm | IP Logged
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My boys are both very observant and very emotional/sensitive. They are also very sensitive to visual things and music. We do quite a bit of "screening" here and have made decisions to keep a lot of things away from them- to be revisited/exposed to later.
My oldest is a very early self-taught reader. We had to be very careful what he was exposed to in print. For example, at a nature class, he read the newspapers spread out for the craft and became very upset at the news of the day.
At one point, I wasn't sure we would ever be able to read fairy tales and history seemed like an impossible subject. When they were your children's ages, we read alot of science, animals, "safe" non-fiction and sweet picture books. (I was not then a practicing Catholic so I did not have to decide how to approach the Saints, Bible, etc.)
Everything in the world seemed to effect them very deeply. They had a strong sense of justice and yet a child's perception in which to filter the news through. A very difficult combination. The idea of "bad guys" in a story would upset them. "Why would anyone BE a bad guy?" (I cannot remember their ages when this was the case.)
News/elements of bad or evil would keep them up at night and they would mention it months later. Visual things stay in their minds. (I can relate as I am the same way!)
I do find that they are much better equipped to "handle more" as time goes on. I guess that is the point of my post, after talking about emotions alot (emotions are very important to us here and we WANT them to feel things deeply- we also want to make sure they have the tools to process and deal with those emotions), "sheltering" them from a lot, dealing with real life losses and "issues," and gradually adding in the "stories" and some history, they are able to process and "handle" more weighty subjects.
They are also EXCELLENT at screening things for themselves. If I give them a summary of something, they generally will know if they think they are ready for it or not. They also ask me to "screen" things they may want to read or watch for them.
Most of my family (and friends) do not understand our approach. I am not trying to shelter my children from the world. I am trying to prepare them for the world. For my children and their sensitivities, that means allowing them to go at their own pace (after figuring out what that is) and gradually learning about the "real" world.
It is helpful for me to remember that not all children are as effected by the things that upset my children. We all do what is right for our own.
It is a tricky thing because I DO want them to feel deeply and to have a strong sense of justice. I also want them to be able to deal with life and all it throws at them.
Not sure if that helps, but I would have liked to have known that my children (with a lot of discussion and time to go at their own pace) would be able to cope with more. Now we enjoy fairy tales and history is something we have begun to really enjoy.
We stretch ourselves and redefine what needs to be withheld all of the time. We grow in our emotions and our understanding of the world- and ourselves.
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Blessings,
Tracey
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Heavy topics & sensitive little ones
