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Michaela
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Now that's a title! 
Maybe some of you will remember my post about looking for a real life, Catholic mentor or just a Catholic friend.
Our Lord has answered my prayers for IRL Catholic fellowship!
There are a few of us who are interested in starting an active Catholic homeschool group close to us. That's GREAT NEWS! The apprehension comes in that the very first thing they'd like to do is get together to pray the rosary. Silly to be apprehensive about that, right?
I am in NO WAY against saying it, but I just realized that I've never said an entire rosary nor have I really tried. I don't have the "Marian Devotion" often talked about.
An explanation of the rosary isn't necessary.
I know it's a personal devotion and you don't even have to say it. I believe everything the Church teaches about Mary. I just don't have this...devotion.
Maybe this is too personal of a subject to discuss. (too intimate..too revealing...IYKWIM) You can PM me if you'd prefer. Can a person be a "good" or "devout" Catholic without this focus? Can I grow as a Catholic without the devotion?
So many of you wonderful women, who I've learned almost all of what it means to LIVE as a Catholic seem to say the rosary or have a devotion to Mary.
This is long enough...
I'm one long winded (quick fingered) person....on line only. 
Is there anyone here willing to comment who also doesn't have a devotion or regularly say the rosary? Is this only something that happens to people coming into the church and not growing up in it?
I'm not saying that this won't change. Maybe this is the way Our Lord is making the change. I just need to "talk" about it, I guess.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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RamFam
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Michaela,
I too had trouble with this when I first converted from Protestantism. I think what made me really appreciate her role was when I looked down at my nursing infant and realized that Mary had this bond with Christ. Of course there were many other things, but this helped me put her into perspective and feel close to her and to know that she, like all the wonderful ladies here, has been there and done that as a mom and can identify with me. Plus who better to petition the Lord for me than his own Mommy?
Peace,
Leah :)
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MaryatHome
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Yes. You can be a good Catholic without a devotion to the Rosary. One of the best things about being a Catholic is that there are many "flavors" of devotion available to us, so we can find the one that best speaks to where we are and still be authentically Catholic.
You might find devotion to the Divine Mercy to be your calling. Or a Benedictine spirituality. Or perhaps you will find your niche in the Catholic Worker movement, or......any one of a thousand different ways to bring the love of Christ into your life and the lives of those around you.
I think that many mothers find Marian devotion meaningful because we can relate to her during this season of our lives.
I'd say, go ahead and pray with these other mothers, and enjoy the time you do. But don't feel as if you MUST pray the Rosary every day to be a "good Catholic." You may find it meaningful as you pray it with others, but don't waste time fretting over it if you don't. If it remains "not your cup of tea," try learning a different prayer style and offering it to your group. I've been in groups where we prayed part of the LOTH before a meeting, not the Rosary.
Find a prayer life that works for YOU in your relationship with God. Don't compare your prayer life with others, because you are unique, and may be called to something else.
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Ouiz
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Michaela,
For what it's worth, I am a cradle Catholic who just never developed a Marian devotion either. I've tried... really, I have!... but it's just never "clicked" with me.
Truthfully, I feel rather left out.
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Chez Ouiz
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CrunchyMom
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I would encourage you to go to the group rosary and try it out. I think that doing it with a group is one of the easiest ways to do it. It is just like anything else, the more you do it, the more you understand it.
To me, while of course it is a Marian devotion, like any other authentic Marian devotion, it takes you straight to Christ. You might be saying a Hail Mary, but the whole focus is on Him. I was never able to understand meditative prayer as a Protestant, but it is a powerful thing!
I like saying the rosary with a group because I don't have to worry about getting lost or following the pages. If I get distracted, its easy to refocus because there are others there reminding me of where we are.
I don't think you are required to have a special devotion to Mary, but I think that learning to say(and completing) a rosary is important to do before dismissing it as "not your thing." And I also think that witnessing the fellowship of a group of people joining in this tradition together will go a long way towards helping you understand it.
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donnalynn
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I was so saddened after a Mass where the priest really chastised those who do not say the Rosary - it has been such an important prayer in my life but I don't know that anyone should feel forced or guilted into saying it.
I did not learn this prayer as a child - and when learning it as a young adult there was a period where it was very awkward - I felt attached to a piece of paper or my little booklet - but once the basic form was learned the true beauty of the Rosary emerged. I just wanted to let you know that it does take some time for it to feel natural until one is at ease with the prayers and the general form.
There are sooo many ways this prayer has been recited - maybe you have been introduced to a form that just doesn't fit - here's a link to different forms the Rosary might take.
31 Ways
Personally, I have a really hard time reciting the Rosary with a group - it's an important personal devotion to me but I really have a such a strong negative reaction to reciting the Rosary with a group - a very different experience from the Stations of the Cross which I love as a group.
I agree with Maryathome - we are all so different and part of beauty of the Catholic Faith is that there are so many ways to pray with the Church. Perhaps the group would like to look at different prayer forms for different months? We vary our prayer devotions in our family based the Liturgical year.
(Quick edit - the 31 ways must a bit old - there are a lot of links that don't seem to be working - but there is still a lot of interesting information).
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mama251ders
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I don't have a Marian devotion either as it pertains to the rosary. I do spend a lot of time asking for her advice and guidance as I go through my motherly day. One of my most used questions is "Was Jesus a toddler?!?!" when I am frustrated with my little ones. I figure that even though He is divine, He was still little once! Apparently Mary figured out how to deal with him in a kind and gentle way. I have never been able to really get into the rosary and I don't feel like it is a must to be a good Catholic. I think there are a lot of ways to express your Christianity and there is no straight path that everyone must be on. Try to "Be still and know that I am God" and see what He has to say about your personal expression.
BLessings,
Betsie
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lapazfarm
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I love Mary dearly, but I do not say the Rosary very often.It is not a prayer that has ever clicked with me, though I do enjoy it in a group setting more than in private.
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Martha
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Many people think I have a "marian" devotion that I don't.
I simply view the rosary as a valuable meditation on the life of Christ. That really what it is and has always intended to be anyways. The basic prayers or praise and believe (out father and creed) and the story of the christ in the gospels.
So if it helps, you can view it that way?
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JennGM
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Michaela,
I feel your pain. I still struggle with a love/dislike relationship with the rosary. When I was 19 I went on a 30 day retreat to make my consecration to Mary, and I really had a hard time with the fact that I didn't feel that devoted to her -- and I'm a cradle Catholic.
Different examples have been passed along to me, and what especially impressed me was to ask Mary to help you. If Marian devotion is a good thing and needs to be cultivated in your spiritual life, then Mary will help you. And she has in my life.
I've grown more fond of the rosary and meditating on the mysteries now that I have a family. As a mother I feel a closer bond to Mary as Mother. Dh and I pray the rosary together at night, and for Lent we're praying a decade with our (wiggly) son. Seeing his enthusiasm and love for praying the rosary has ignited my spirit, too. It's not a chore to him. He loves it all.
We try to change it up, too. We don't kneel (which growing up we always did) every time. We use pictures to follow along the mysteries when ds prays with us. We sometimes pray to Father Pacwa on EWTN in the Holy Land (I taped them), and also use cds, like the Praying the Rosary with St. Therese of Lisieux Cd that Elizabeth recommended.
And if you haven't read it, I highly recommend reading John Paul II's Apostolic Letter, On the Most Holy Rosary, Rosarium Virginis Mariae. It's very beautiful and practical. He gave us the extra luminous mysteries, but he also gives advice on HOW to pray and meditate in the rosary. Very helpful and easy to read.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
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msclavel
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I am very devoted to Our Lady of Guadalupe. I ask her intercession and aid constantly.
However, praying the rosary has always been difficult, though I seem to go through different stages with this as well. When I am able to really focus and ask Our Lady to teach me about her Son is when I truly enjoy and get the most out of it. But you know, I feel like I so need to change that focus..."what do I get out of prayer?"...and I know that turning to my Mother is a place where I will learn these lessons.
Lots of rambling thoughts there...don't know if that helps...
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pixilated_momma
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For me, the Rosary is a devotion that ebbs and flows in my life. At one point, I was praying all the mysteries every day ... and then I've gone to struggling with just a decade of the rosary ... It depends on my needs at the moment. I do love Mary, though, and reflect often on her life.
My friends are quite Marian and I do feel a sense of loss when I'm struggling with the Rosary. I don't think you *must* pray the Rosary to be a "good Catholic" but I cannot help but notice that the people who are great examples to me of the faith are all people who love Mary and remain constant in their imploring her for her prayers and guidance.
The Catholic faith, for me, is a marriage of sorts. I love the faith deeply. Intellectually, I have decided to be Catholic and follow the Church's teachings in everything. Yet, like in a marriage, there are times when I am more devout than others. I go through periods of dryness, in which I am struggling with regular prayers and the Bible feels dry to me ... but I continue on because of my belief that it is the true Church ... and then, comes times of such sweetness that they can only be described as tastes of heaven itself. What has to happen, though, is for me to keep the lines of communication always open with the Lord. Sometimes, my method of communication is Scripture or good Catholic music or the Rosary. It all depends ...
That said, I will pray a decade for the Rosary for you tonight. 
Peace & blessings!
p.s. Congratulations on finding some Catholic buddies!
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Angie Mc
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I'm so happy that you have found IRL Catholic friends, Michaela! May you all be blessed.
When I reverted to the Catholic faith, one of the first *Catholic* items I purchased was a wooden Our Lady of Guadalupe rosary, not knowing why I purchased it because I hadn't prayed the rosary as a child (except for a few times.) It sat unused for a long time. Next, I began praying it sporadically. Then we began to pray it as a family, one decade at a time, every so often. It wasn't until Pope John Paul II asked us to pray the rosary daily, that I found myself wanting to say yes to him and the rosary. Since then, I have worked to develop the habit of praying the rosary. It is very humbling because I still feel so very *not good at it.* Yet, I have come to know Christ and my Holy Mother better, in spite of my lacking efforts.
Your question is, "Can one be a good Catholic and not pray the rosary?" To be honest, I don't think that I could muster up enough umph to pray the rosary daily if it was merely an external obligation to be a good Catholic (which may be why in her wisdom the Church doesn't dictate such.) Yet, if I feel that God is asking me...through the attraction to a rosary purchased or given as a gift...through the request of my Pope...through the witness of my friends...through an internal tug of the heart...then I do feel I should say yes...eventually  . I do so thank my Holy Mother and Father for their patience with me!
On a practical note, when saying the rosary in a group, at first I was surprised by regional differences. When faced with additional prayers tagged on (from my perspective), I felt flustered and ignorant  . Now I know to ask before hand, which prayers will be included.
Love,
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mandmsmom2001
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I am also a cradle Catholic, one who has not ever felt a Marian devotion. Though I respect those who do, I have never quite understood it on an emotional level(I do understand on an intellectual level). I just have not been called to it. Formal prayer has never come easily to me yet I am drawn to the traditions and customs of the Church, particularly those of the liturgy.
As others said earlier, there are so many ways to be called to be Catholic. I find myself drawn to social justice work and try to live out my faith through my volunteer work.
There have been times when I've found myself feeling like the odd (wo)man out in times of small, formal prayer or among other HS Catholics, particularly those with large families. God has blessed me with 2 children and a love of serving others in need and I have to go forward with those blessings and not compare myself to others.
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Erin
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Michaela
You are not any less a Catholic because you don't have a devotion to the rosary, there are many ways to Our Lord. I really encourage you to read this old postwhere the amazing ladies here explain different ways to pray sowell.
Anyhow I would still encourage you to go along to the group.
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Erin
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Michaela
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I wanted to come back to thank you all for your wise words. Each of you shared something that has given me much to think about. I followed the links and read everything shared.
We did get together and pray the rosary. It went smoother and faster than I thought it would. All the children sat with us and prayed, also. (My children's first rosary, too.)
I think the "flavor" of the rosary may have a lot to do with my feelings towards it. I don't enjoy watching Mother Angelica and the nuns praying it as much as others...like Fr. Pacwa.
I wanted to share something that happened a few years ago....
When I was going through a very very rough mommy period, before the time I started attending Mass & RCIA...I remember thinking how Mary would or would not treat Jesus. I had been getting advice from nonCatholic moms to correct my children with vinegar and hot sauce. To "beat 'em" when they needed discipline. I remember turning to imitate what I thought Mary would do instead. It was the most peaceful time of mothering while going through such darkness. When I shared that with my friends, they told me that I focus on Mary too much. (It's ok to tell me they wanted to be like Ruth in the Bible or wanted to be like Martha Stewart in their home, but mentioning Mary was treated like a no-no.)
I've never been able to put Mary in the same place or the correct place since then. Not that I did anything wrong imitating!!
I have turned to her for help when I thought she could take my problems to be a better mom and when I wasn't getting pregnant after years of trying....) both times, through her intercession, our Lord answered my prayers.
I do wish I had a comfortable place for her in my life. (IYKWIM).
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Michaela
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Bookswithtea
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Michaela...hugs to you. I'm a convert too. Here's the *one* thing I wish someone would have told me.
"God has called you on this journey and He values your experiences before as well as the ones coming up. He doesn't expect you to be a carbon copy of any image of 'Good Catholic Woman' you might have in your head. Use fully what the church offers that inspires you. Don't feel bad about the things you don't 'get'."
My own love for Mary has grown since I converted (2002) but its nowhere near the traditional expression that Catholic hs moms often have. It was Adoration and love of Christ in the Eucharist that brought me into the Church and that's what I focused on all through RCIA. It was after I was confirmed that I got lost for awhile, feeling I had to be more like the moms around me. It was a glove that just didn't fit, and it took me awhile to hear God that it was ok to love Him the way I always have.
So anyway, be open to what God may be introducing to you, but don't feel obligated, either.
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mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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BrendaPeter
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As a cradle Catholic, I did not have a strong devotion to Our Mother for a very long time and felt some guilt as well. I have found that the more I learn about Our Lady the more I love Her and feel close to Her. I have so enjoyed our very own Helen's Mary Vitamin as I have learned so much about Our Lady with these beautiful daily meditations. I encourage everyone to sign up!
Another thing that helped me was reading about Fatima, the visionaries and what Our Lady said, particularly about the rosary. I've liked the children's books but perhaps someone could chime in with a book they like.
Also, we are very blessed to live very close to the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate who are responsible for AirMaria. My dc and I regularly listen to their homilies which are almost always Marian.
There are also some excellent threads, particularly in "Hidden Treasure" that will have links to all kinds of great resources.
There is no doubt that my personal devotion to Our Lady has deepened my Catholic faith & made it richer than I ever dreamed possible. Just as it would be sad to go through my natural life not knowing my mother, how sad it would be going through my spiritual life not knowing my heavenly Mother.
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ALmom
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Michaela:
What you shared about imitating Our Lady is a very key of Marian devotion and the rosary, (so it seems to me, but I'm no expert) so while you say you do not have devotion, the reality seems very much like you do. Perhaps the confusion is the emotional consolation that sometimes comes with prayer and sometimes doesn't.
I obviously prayed a rosary as a child at some point, since I was a cradle Catholic, but that was a devotion much out of favor (relegated to the simple and "unenlightened")whether you were born into a Catholic family or not. I had my FHC rosary in my collection of stuff but I don't ever recall saying it beyond FHC.
During the years when I struggled with Catholic doctrine, including Marian doctrine, I drifted more and more towards Protestantism. My Grandmother tried to speak with me once, but in seeing my stubborness, she simply said no more. It wasn't until years later that I realized she prayed that rosary for me every day of her life - and one for my mom when my mom had cancer that had gone undetected for 8 years. She promised Our Lady a flower everyday and had bud vase in front of a particular statue of Our Lady. My mom did well and there was always a rose in that bud vase. Today, my mom has the statue and she keeps the rose there. Yes, it is simple and humble and just now I'm beginning to realize how profound. I cannot put my finger on it - but I'm still shedding my attachment to feelings, my intellectualism - not in a negative way of denying these but in the way these are relied on as guides when they are not.
I could never bring myself to pray the rosary and was even a bit awkward with Mary. But to Our Lady that was OK too, because there came a time when I simply needed her and she was waiting for me. Our first baby died in early pregnancy. It was a devastating moment for me after all the prayers and thinking they were finally answered. My hormones, my emotions, everything were roller coaster. I think my emotions even frightened my husband. I went into the room that we had been decorating for the baby and dug out my childhood rosary and my FHC book from childhood and prayed the first rosary I'd prayed in many, many years. I didn't remember how anymore so I had to follow the directions in that FHC book and I remember crying and aching to hold the baby but being comforted knowing Our Lady was holding our baby.
Do I manage to pray the rosary on a daily basis - sadly, no. I find it difficult but also am increasingly convinced that this is something I should do whether it feels inspiring or not. I do find it more difficult to pray in groups because everyone goes way faster than my brain can contemplate. I find it difficult to pray with any audio or video. Initially it was easier for me to pray a scriptural rosary that had a scripture meditation for each AVe.
I must say that in looking at the devotions and practices of all the ladies here, I find myself lacking in devotion in general. There is something beautiful in the habitual resort to a simple prayer, a simple ejaculation, simple traditions etc. I think my mom and my grandmom were so used to this from their young childhood, that in every need it is the first recourse. My habit is to speak, complain, ... these woman would simply begin that rosary, and though it was never all that obvious, thinking back, I don't think my grandmom was ever without a rosary on her person somewhere and I can see her face - her lips tight as the beads went discreetly between her fingers. My grandfather was that way too- every day at a certain stump, he read the Bible and prayed his rosary. When illness made him nervous, there were a lot more rosaries. I don't know if they always made him feel inspired or whether consolations were there but it was how they turned surely to Our Lord in every struggle and temptation of life.
Trying to pray the rosary in a family group was the most trying for me- if it wasn't quiet enough, or ... I'd get frustrated. The toddler always climbed over me, or....but I was missing the heart of the devotion. What would Mary do with a rambunctious toddler tugging on her as she was trying to teach the formal prayers.
Michaela enjoy the company of your Catholic friends and don't worry too much.
Of course I am not an expert on anything doctrinal or whatnot so I can only share my own experience or what it seems to me.
Janet
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aussieannie
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ALmom wrote:
During the years when I struggled with Catholic doctrine, including Marian doctrine, I drifted more and more towards Protestantism. My Grandmother tried to speak with me once, but in seeing my stubborness, she simply said no more. It wasn't until years later that I realized she prayed that rosary for me every day of her life - and one for my mom when my mom had cancer that had gone undetected for 8 years. She promised Our Lady a flower everyday and had bud vase in front of a particular statue of Our Lady. My mom did well and there was always a rose in that bud vase. Today, my mom has the statue and she keeps the rose there. Yes, it is simple and humble and just now I'm beginning to realize how profound. I cannot put my finger on it - but I'm still shedding my attachment to feelings, my intellectualism - not in a negative way of denying these but in the way these are relied on as guides when they are not.
I could never bring myself to pray the rosary and was even a bit awkward with Mary. But to Our Lady that was OK too, because there came a time when I simply needed her and she was waiting for me. Our first baby died in early pregnancy. It was a devastating moment for me after all the prayers and thinking they were finally answered. My hormones, my emotions, everything were roller coaster. I think my emotions even frightened my husband. I went into the room that we had been decorating for the baby and dug out my childhood rosary and my FHC book from childhood and prayed the first rosary I'd prayed in many, many years. I didn't remember how anymore so I had to follow the directions in that FHC book and I remember crying and aching to hold the baby but being comforted knowing Our Lady was holding our baby. |
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Thank you so much for sharing that Janet, it touched me greatly.
ALmom wrote:
| There is something beautiful in the habitual resort to a simple prayer, a simple ejaculation, simple traditions etc. I think my mom and my grandmom were so used to this from their young childhood, that in every need it is the first recourse. My habit is to speak, complain, ... these woman would simply begin that rosary, and though it was never all that obvious, thinking back, I don't think my grandmom was ever without a rosary on her person somewhere and I can see her face - her lips tight as the beads went discreetly between her fingers. |
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That is a beautiful reminder...I complain too, but it is just so touching to read how your mum and grandmother reacted, your posting has blessed me today.
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: No Marian Devotion - No Rosary
