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hereinantwerp
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Posted: Aug 16 2006 at 5:24am | IP Logged Quote hereinantwerp

I wasn't sure where to post this, the "littles" forum did not seem like schooling topics.

We plan to start Monday and I'm feeling--DREAD! Just trying to get the littlest things done lately has felt so frustrating. What do YOU do with children this age?? When they are a bit older you can set them up with an activity or video or etc., but right now . . .

When I taught my oldest and my middle child was this age, I don't remember having many problems. But, it was only kindergarten/grade 1, not too intensive or much time, and my oldest was an early reader and independant learner. My now 7 yo is NOT an independant learner, and my oldest is venturing into new topics and needs discussion and direction for his abundant mental energy--there's just a lot more going on now. And I swear my little girl is twice as busy as either of them were, and has three times the temper--tho I may not be remembering accurately!! I feel OLD, grumpy and tired lately!   

Please don't tell me to school when she naps. Her naptime is not consistant, and the nap isn't very long. And generally when it happens, I crash for an hour myself and try to pray a bit, I need the sanity break!!

Any practical suggestions are appreciated here!

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Posted: Aug 16 2006 at 6:36am | IP Logged Quote aussieannie

I am schooling three, so this not work so well for you schooling two, but if my youngest is unsettled or needing extra attention, I rotate the the three schooling children so that one is always with that child, keeping him happy, so I school two, one looking after bubs and swap it every half hour or so. On these sort of days, I am quite happy to handle two at the time anyway.

Hopefully the little one can be settled easy enough so that it shouldn't have to be to many rotations then.

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Posted: Aug 16 2006 at 8:12am | IP Logged Quote cathhomeschool

Well, I don't know if you'll consider my suggestions practical or not, but what I did when my littles required much of me (for about 3 years) was to give my older two as much independent work as possible. They chose their own copywork, typed in their own narrations (or narrated orally and we just didn't have written records of everything), read the catechism lesson to me instead of vice versa. We listened to many books on tape (and still do). We covered grammar orally in the car. We did math after dh got home if it had been a rough day and we hadn't had the chance to cover it earlier. On the rare occasion that the littles were both happy and I wasn't exhausted, I seized the moment and did something "extra" with the older ones. I also had my oldest read to and help his younger brother frequently. Could your 11yo work with the 7yo on some subjects?

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Posted: Aug 16 2006 at 9:37am | IP Logged Quote Rachel May

Last year when school during naps was no longer an option, we moved to th couch for as much as possible, pretty much anything but math. Over and over I have heard Janette's advice, and I like it.

I put Cecilia on my lap as much as possible, sometimes with something to keep her hands busy, until she naturally went to find something else to do. The idea of "gathering in" instead of "pushing away" took some gritting teeth at first because I wanted to just get things done! I have so much to do! Not enough time! blah, blah, blah.... I had to cut myself some slack, and I did. It worked great. Good luck.

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Posted: Aug 16 2006 at 9:59am | IP Logged Quote Kristin

I don't think I have any advice to offer here, unfortunately ... But this is a topic I'm interested in because someday it will probably apply to me!

I'm very interested in the notion of "gathering in" and not "pushing away" ... and it sounds familiar to me --- I think I've read about it on the board. Was it you, Janette? Or Elisabeth Foss? Or Kim Fry?

I'm sure it's a simple concept, but would you mind explaining it, in all it's simplicity for me?!   

Thanks!

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Posted: Aug 16 2006 at 10:20am | IP Logged Quote cathhomeschool

For me, "gathering in" goes hand in hand with unit studies. I cannot "gather in" and school as a family if we are not all covering the same material (math excluded). So even though I encourage the older boys to do much independent work, the fact that they are studying the same topics gives us a common ground and opportunities to lapbook/notebook, discuss and tackle projects together. (They do have independent study areas that they don't share, but these are self directed and are "for fun." And even in these areas, they often end up working on the same things, because one child's enthusiasm will spill over and the others will want to participate too.)

How exactly do I gather in? Instead of explaining it, I'll point you to Elizabeth's blog. This is exactly what we do, and she says it so eloquently! Happy reading!

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Posted: Aug 16 2006 at 10:25am | IP Logged Quote Dawnie

Are you still nursing your 15 month old?

I put a comfy rocking chair in my school room so that I could rock/nurse the toddler while doing school w/ my older dd. Before I had the rocking chair in my school room, I was always putting her off, b/c the school chairs were not comfortable to nurse in. With the rocking chair available, I could just pick her up and cuddle and nurse and not have to stop what we were doing. Toddlers aren't always as content to nurse and cuddle for as long as little babies are, but it can help to keep them out of everything! I just weaned my 2yod, and I have to run around after her a lot more now!   

Homeschooling w/ a toddler is one of my big challenges, too, especially since I weaned! I'm looking forward to hearing other suggestions!

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Posted: Aug 16 2006 at 10:41am | IP Logged Quote cathhomeschool

I thought I'd add a comment about the "technical" side of gathering in.

We read picture books sitting together on the couch -- often with children crawling all over me or behind me to get a better view. There are MANY pauses for questions and comments, observations and laughs. I admit that these breaks are sometimes long and may require patience from the mommy who wants to "finish the book so I can start dinner." Those thoughts remain tucked inside my brain, though.

We all share a bedtime read aloud too. The book is usually one I'd consider over the head of the young ones, but I am amazed at how much they follow and absorb. These read alouds provide material for their "lego stories" (ongoing stories they make up using lego people and structures) and free play, and during those free times the older boys further explain the books to the younger set.

The boys sometimes choose copywork from their free reading, but often must choose from our current chapter books. If we are adding poetry to the unit, I often let them choose from several unit-related poems to copy. This keeps them focused on our theme, but gives them some freedom as well.

Where crafts/drawing/extra projects are concerned, I try to provide several choices or suggestions within our theme as well. At the end of the unit, they have some "record keeping" options too. They may just print out narrations and an illustration or two, or may lapbook or notebook. Here again, the enthusiasm of one often affects the others, especially since we're all working in the same room at the same time.

I think that one of the unanticipated benefits (for our family) of gathering in is that they learn more (go deeper) and do more than they otherwise would. Enthusiasm is contagious. I see this as one of the benefits of co-op classes -- the kids see that their friends are working on this too, and are excited about it. We have our own mini-co-op at home.   

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Posted: Aug 16 2006 at 10:53am | IP Logged Quote MaryMary

I'm hardly qualified to give much advice, as I'm relatively new at this homeschooling thing! But this year I'll be homeschooling Kindergtn, and 1st grade and I also have an active 15 month old.

I have really prayed about what to do with my little son when school begins. I felt as though this advice has come to me over and over again, it may be the answer to my prayer...
I just purchased a used highchair to put in our schoolroom (we don't have room to school in the kitchen)For those subjects where I need to spend table time with the other two, I will use the highchair for toddler(pushed right up to the table that we are working at and right beside me) with many snacks, toys, books and activities within arm's reach keep him busy for 15-20 mins or so. On her MROL website, Holly Pierlot has an awesome LONG list of activities that littles can do while you are working with the older ones. I will try to find and post that link a little later (that 15 month old is currently tearing apart the house while I type!!). I only plan on using the highchair when I need to be with the older ones. I figure if I have enough snacks and simple activities handy he can feel as if he is right there, participating with us. He'll also be getting a chance to sharpen his fine motor skills by doing puzzles, looking at books, playing with small cars, and picking up cheerios and goldfish crackers!!

I too, was touched by Elizabeth's post about gathering in. I find that our little ones just want to be where we are, anyway. And I want to be with them, too. I certainly don't want him to feel excluded or pushed away...we are family after all, and we are all travelling this road together!

I am so interested to read more responses and ideas, there is SOOOO much wisdom in this 4Real group!
    
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Posted: Aug 16 2006 at 12:38pm | IP Logged Quote lapazfarm

Man, I really needed to read this! I am so stressed about starting school with my two(K and 6th grade) with a baby (10 months) and 2.5yo in the mix this year. I keep having the "pushing away" mentality creep in and I really need to change my attitude to "gathering in." It just makes so much more sense and is such a more loving attitude.
Keep the tips coming, ladies!

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Posted: Aug 16 2006 at 1:03pm | IP Logged Quote hylabrook1

Another thought about working with olders and keeping a toddler busy: Toddlers are without a doubt very active and remain focused on any activity for only a very short time, and that is a very real challenge. BUT, they grow and change so quickly that in just a couple of months, a few weeks, their attention span lengthens and they are able to remain entertained with an activity or toy for a few minutes longer, and then a few minutes longer...

What I have done is assign older children in rotation to play with the little one while I work directly with an older, then switch off which older is playing with younger/working with me. I have been sure to include time when I am the one playing with the toddler, because that littlest one certainly also needs "mom time." My personal time with the toddler has been very helpful for both of us; not "pushing away", which I think works both ways -- the babe feels pushed away and Mama craves time with that little one.

Hope this helps.

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Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 3:53am | IP Logged Quote hereinantwerp

THANK YOU for all the responses--!

"Gathering in"--I have such a hard time with this. "Personal space" issues maybe? I really try, but I'll just confess here that I have a HARD time with this!

We do a lot of "couch schooling" and after several years I think I've found a mix that works for me of structured vs. unstructured . . . it's the constant interruptions that just drive me nuts. We do a lot together, though I'm finding that the age separation between my schoolers does not always work well, esp. since the oldest is advanced for his age, and the youngest is young for his age. And they just have different interests. I'm trying to plan for that this year--we're pretty much doing unit studies, 2 for history and 2 for science, but I've pretty much had to write separate plans for them b/c they're just too different. But thankfully the oldest works very well independantly. I can't see him "teaching" his younger brother very well--too impatient and quick to put him down, that's a character issue we really need to watch.

But both of them are great w/their little sister. I think I am going to HAVE to rotate some turns of them being with her. We have always finished before lunch, and I probably won't be able to do that anymore, which I don't like, but -- can't have everything I suppose!!

I really admire some of you women on this forum, handling two or three times as much as I handle in a day! I feel like I have a "low stress tolerance"--!! One thing that is frustrating me is that I used to really enjoy homeschooling, before I had the baby. Now it's like I can enjoy schooling or enjoy her--but not both--does that make sense? I need to readjust somehow, it's not good to be stressed and stress out my kids.

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Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 8:49am | IP Logged Quote Kim F

Can you corral your baby into the same room/area you are working in? We often do that with the 19mo, providing duplos or trucks or whatnot. We can accomplish a good deal when he is in his high chair also so his snack times are productive. Joyce Swann homeschooled her ten kids through an accelerated program doing this. She gathered toys and snacks and diapering stuff before they began and then babyproofed that room so she was free to move between the babies and students without worry.

I too am not beholden to a set time of day to do seat work so we fit that in as Janette describes. I think the mindset that school has to be done a certain way or at a certain time feeds the pushing away instinct because suddenly you feel you can't do it all. If you can look at your day as baby time first and school time when there are lulls it may be easier. I have found it helps the older students also. They get respite in between lessons and most importantly they get the best lesson of all - modelling of good parenting.

I know you have already heard this a million times but baby time lasts for such a blink and when it is gone it is gone forever.

Kim


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Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 9:29am | IP Logged Quote Meredith

Oh Kim, what words of wisdom, and so true about the "blink" with baby time. I too am working with my 15 mo old and a 4 yo and my two school aged dc and we will definately have a different blend of learning this year. I want relaxed and "inclusive" learnig time(s) not just what works for the bigger dc.

Thanks for stating these thoughts so clearly and with your unending eloquence that shines through your mothering!!

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Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 12:31pm | IP Logged Quote MaryMary

O.K., it's official, I'm a huge moron when it comes to computers!

I can't figure out how to attach the link that I promised above.

But I did find the great list of activities for little ones that Holly Pierlot put together on her website www.mothersruleoflife.com.

On the left sidebar click on "Holly's Notebook". From there scroll down and click on November 2004 archives, (also on the left sidebar).Scroll down to her November 24, 2004 entry titled, "Little Ones - Activity Ideas".

She has listed many, many activites that might interest the littlest ones in the family. Not all of them may be appropriate for a 15 month old, and perhaps some may tend toward the "scattering" rather than "gathering". But all in all, I think it is a very worthwhile list to have handy... I Holly Pierlot!

Hope that helps!

Sorry I couldn't make this easier for you to access!

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Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 2:50pm | IP Logged Quote hereinantwerp

Kim F wrote:
Can you corral your baby into the same room/area you are working in? We often do that with the 19mo, providing duplos or trucks or whatnot. We can accomplish a good deal when he is in his high chair also so his snack times are productive. Joyce Swann homeschooled her ten kids through an accelerated program doing this. She gathered toys and snacks and diapering stuff before they began and then babyproofed that room so she was free to move between the babies and students without worry.

I too am not beholden to a set time of day to do seat work so we fit that in as Janette describes. I think the mindset that school has to be done a certain way or at a certain time feeds the pushing away instinct because suddenly you feel you can't do it all. If you can look at your day as baby time first and school time when there are lulls it may be easier. I have found it helps the older students also. They get respite in between lessons and most importantly they get the best lesson of all - modelling of good parenting.

I know you have already heard this a million times but baby time lasts for such a blink and when it is gone it is gone forever.

Kim


We just moved in a new house with glass doors in between rooms--so "corralling" is very easy now!

I'll have to try the high chair idea too--

I keep telling myself these things about the "baby time"--today was a much better day in general, and I had one of the sweetest "baby time" moments ever. I was actually sitting at the computer reading some of these responses, when she crawled up on my lap, became very, very still and--went to sleep!! This has never, ever happened before! It was not her normal nap time, but we were out a bit late last night and apparently she was tired. I crept upstairs to her room/rocking chair, grabbed a big blanket to wrap us both up in (it's been cold here), and spent the good part of the morning holding her, dozing, thinking and praying. Wondering, Lord, are you trying to tell me something?! I totally enjoyed the time, but I didn't get the rest of my planning done .

I don't know about you all, but I am not very good about being flexible. Maybe this is a lesson I just need to learn. Going with what works and letting go of what doesn't--I was thinking while praying of something that I've heard, how God is faithful to give us all the time we need to accomplish all he has called us to do. Somehow that kind of thinking just does not come natural to me! Tonight after she was in bed I played a "letter sounds game" with my 7 year old. It was spontaneous, it only took 15 minutes, it was just the level and type of practice he needs, and 15 minutes is about all he's good for at one shot anyway--maybe I need to consider spreading school out a bit and seizing the moments that come?? Though I'm afraid with that style I'd just never get anywhere at all. Just my random thoughts after another day!!


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Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 2:54pm | IP Logged Quote hereinantwerp

MaryMary wrote:
O.K., it's official, I'm a huge moron when it comes to computers!

I can't figure out how to attach the link that I promised above.

But I did find the great list of activities for little ones that Holly Pierlot put together on her website www.mothersruleoflife.com.

On the left sidebar click on "Holly's Notebook". From there scroll down and click on November 2004 archives, (also on the left sidebar).Scroll down to her November 24, 2004 entry titled, "Little Ones - Activity Ideas".

She has listed many, many activites that might interest the littlest ones in the family. Not all of them may be appropriate for a 15 month old, and perhaps some may tend toward the "scattering" rather than "gathering". But all in all, I think it is a very worthwhile list to have handy... I Holly Pierlot!

Hope that helps!

Sorry I couldn't make this easier for you to access!

Mary

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Thanks I will look this up--
Dh and I are both computer dummies, w/anything beyond the basics--so I can relate!

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Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 2:56pm | IP Logged Quote Rachel May

Here's the link: Mother's Rule

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Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 4:28pm | IP Logged Quote Rachel May

For me gathering in includes saying "yes".

It is easy to say "no" for me because if I do it, it will be done right or the mess won't be made or no one will get hurt. But "yes" can mean giving up on my perfectionist pride or giving my son a chance to feel big by making a PB & J all by himself or giving my daughter the opportunity to explore out of her safety zone. "Yes" at the right time keeps them close to me instead of at odds with me. I'm hoping this will reap rewards in their teen years as well as now.

Angela, I empathize about personal space. For me, I'm sensitive to visual noise (mess) and audio noise (music/TV) and mental noise (kicking myself for being unprepared) so if we start the day with a neat, quiet, organized school space, I do better being able to gather in physically. I think finding your triggers can help.

Flexibility can be painful for me (thus gritting teeth), so I rely on structure to comfort me and "yes" to comfort them.

Hope that makes sense.   

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Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 9:19pm | IP Logged Quote krygerzoo

Oh, I have the same *triggers*. My problem is that I garner sooooo much support/info/other resources from my computer in the eves when everyone else is zzzzzzzz.... that I rarely put it all into place!

I will be hs 4th, 1st, and K plus having a 14mo ACTIVE BOY!!!! My 4th is great but not a self motivator. I have to continually work on incentives for her as she loves to play! And I'm "so mean" when the others get to play and she's STUCK working (my eyes are rolling, poor child!!LOL)

I'm going to be using Considering God's Creation for science --- multi-level. Hoping that helps. I also realize that I need to lower my expectations for "SCHOOL" type busy work. I, too, find spontaneous lessons with the younger ones are the most helpful.

I'm not too comfortable yet in organizing for my 4th grader for her lesson plans. Assigning too much, too little, etc. I want to plan it out but know that I can't go too far. We are doing MODG syllabus so I know that'll help.

Structure can be painful for me!! I end up missing stuff because we go off on these amazing tangents. My poor 4th grader is behind in math because of this. Doesn't help that my hubby was a math major in college! Arg....   BINGO! That's HIS new assignment.

Phew.... I love talking to myself and figuring out solutions!!!

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