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Lisbet
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| Posted: March 03 2008 at 8:43pm | IP Logged
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HELP! 
I have been gathering my 5 and under crowd for circle time each morning after I get the older children going on their table work. It takes us about half hour to get through it, and it's a mix of songs, bible stories, prayers, dance, etc... My 5y.o., 4y.o., and 22 month old LOVE it! Some days, my 3y.o. really seems to enjoy it too, but more often than not, he throws a tantrum for the duration of it. It's not only that he doesn't want to participate, he doesn't want ANYONE to participate. He has been known to scream, grab the books out of my hand, kick, throw things, etc... I can't figure out why he gets so emotional about it. He gets that way at other times when we do songs, fingerplays and such.
Any suggestions?
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: March 04 2008 at 5:18am | IP Logged
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I'm interested to hear what others say about this. I had the same experience with one of mine when he was about 3. He's finally grown out of it but what a frustrating time! He would be playing quietly until I started reading out loud then he would get loud and rambuncious. I didn't want to punish him by sending him away. I was feeling that maybe he needed more attention. But sitting him on my lap didn't help at all. I finally gave up read aloud time  . Thank goodness he's over it and we're back to read alouds.
Now that I look back, I wonder if sending him out of the room would have been a better way to deal with it. It seemed rather harsh at the time, but we really didn't have any sort of "circle time" or read aloud time that whole year and the other kids missed out.
I wish I had an answer for you Lisa. I have a feeling I have another one who will follow in his brother's footsteps.
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Rebecca
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| Posted: March 04 2008 at 9:31am | IP Logged
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Lisa, would he like to lead some of the songs or perhaps to sit on your lap for part of the time? I have read in a couple places that the experience itself is overwhelming for some children. It does seem to pass in time but they certainly can make it difficult for the rest of the kids who enjoy it.
I wrote a couple of posts about circle time in our home here and here.
Some kids seem to not like the interruption in their day. What is he doing before you call him for circle time? Has he gotten involved in playing something with a sibling that he does not want to walk away from? Three year olds are so complex, IMO. 
If you have been doing it each day at the same general time and have given him enough time to make the adjustment (a couple weeks or so), and he still doesn't like it, maybe you could put out some playdoh or something for him to do in an adjoining room while the others do circle time. He would still hear the songs but not have to participate and would not disrupt the others. Just an idea.
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sjbacb
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| Posted: March 04 2008 at 1:19pm | IP Logged
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Maybe it has something to do with the age. My 3 yr old hates it too! He loves doing preschool with Mommy but just seems unable to behave at all during circle time. I actually gave up on it about 6 months ago. I was acually just considering trying it again when I saw this thread.
Sorry no help but am looking forward to others suggestions!
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mandmsmom2001
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| Posted: March 04 2008 at 1:59pm | IP Logged
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When my youngest was that age he hated it to - and still does and he's almost 7! I have found hime to be a spirited child and that level of activity is overstimulationg for him. Has your 3yo reacted like this to other things that may be either too busy, too loud or too quickly changing? Just a thought - or he could just be mastering 3 with a flourish!
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Sarah
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| Posted: March 04 2008 at 3:24pm | IP Logged
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Lisa,
Is that child an introvert? As an introvert I hate when people do outgoing things. I know that many introverts feel stupid for the person doing something they don't feel comfortable doing. They just cannot take it and it can come out in anger.
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montessori_lori
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| Posted: March 04 2008 at 5:06pm | IP Logged
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Sometimes there's no way to tell exactly what's wrong. It could just be that it's too emotionally intense and he just can't handle it.
No matter the reason, he's sending you a clear signal: Mom, I can't handle circle time.
So, don't force it. Find something else for him to do instead. Let him know that at any time, he can choose to join you but if he does, he must participate nicely. Just being able to make the choice himself might make a huge difference.
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Bridget
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| Posted: March 04 2008 at 7:52pm | IP Logged
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Lisbet wrote:
HELP!
I can't figure out why he gets so emotional about it. He gets that way at other times when we do songs, fingerplays and such.
Any suggestions? |
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I wonder if he just can't understand and keep up. Songs can move quickly, finger play requires some dexterity. It could just be a frustration thing.
How about slowing down the songs and trying to cut it to 10 minutes, then slowly build back up.
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missionfamily
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| Posted: March 07 2008 at 9:02pm | IP Logged
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My Brendan was sooooo this way through his threes and into his fourth year. Once he threw a Sonic slush at my head while I was driving because I started singing. He is a very passionate child and gets easily overwhelmed by his emotions. He actually likes singing a lot, but I think sometimes he didn't know what to do with the emotion and embarassment it evoked. Most of his responses to a high level of emotion are over the top. He's better in this area now, but still has many outbursts every day. I know how hard it can be to still have fun with this but keep trying...maybe sit him somewhere nearby but outside the circle with a puzzle or beeswax or his own book, and offer to spend time wth just him afterwards if he doesn't interfere with circle time...or let one older child take him outside to play?
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Lisbet
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| Posted: March 08 2008 at 10:00am | IP Logged
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Thank you for all of the recommendations. He is a highly emotional child and has many 'swings' of emotion throughout the day. I have never seen him as worked up as I have during circle time. I think it's frustration and embarassment rolled into one. I like the beeswax idea, as that usually has a calming effect on him. I also may ask his input on the order that we follow during circle time when he does join us.
Incorporating circle time into our day has had such a good effect on the other littles, I am determined to keep at it for them, but I don't want to alienate Henry either.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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4Real Forums : Nurturing the Years of Wonder
Topic: Hates Circle Time...
