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aneliese
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| Posted: May 02 2009 at 5:44am | IP Logged
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I can't complain too much as my son isn't into anything too commercial regarding toys (he knows sponge bob and a few others since his cousins are always over). He definitely loves legos but my problem lies in the fighting of toys. Not fighting over, but the active wars taking place between plastic figures.
There are lego Bionicles positioned throughout the house "shooting and fighting" with one another. The army men are usually strategically positioned to help as well. There are swords everywhere which I'm okay with but it's the guns (gifts from others) that I have issues with. I know that boys are programmed to fight and protect so am I just being an over sensitive female?
I guess my question is what toys, hobbies, materials, etc. do you guide your boys towards? My oldest is six and instead of the sci-fi creatures ALL the time I'd love for him to have other interests. He loves woodworking so I'm thinking along those lines but maybe knights/castles? I'm open to ideas!
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Mary Chris
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| Posted: May 02 2009 at 7:31am | IP Logged
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Aneliese,
I feel your pain! I truly prayed for pacifist boys, but my guys are not pacifists. Yesterday as we were walking in DC. to the Holocaust Museum, my dh had to tell ds9, no more shooting noises or motions until we get back to the car.   
For years we have joked that the way to find ds9 is to listen for the machine gun noises.
I can't say I have any answers. We didn't have guns in our house until our boys were around 6 & 8.
I have more to say, but we're having a lacrosse emergency at the moment, I'll be back.....
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Blessings, Mary Chris Beardsley
mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92
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stellamaris
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| Posted: May 02 2009 at 7:43am | IP Logged
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Aneliese, I'm with Mary Chris! I'm not sure there are any answers to this dilemma. I have six boys and have never been successful at taking the "fight" out of them. At one point, I did remind myself that it may be that when they were grown, they would have to fight to defend themselves, their families, or their homes, and so I realized that I did not want to completely squelch this apparently God-given instinct to defend the right and do battle with the evil powers (in whatever form they might present themselves). If you are uncomfortable with sci-fi, I'd try to divert him to more noble battles. The easiest way to do this is to read some dramatic picture books (e.g. St. George and the Dragon, maybe talk about some knightly saints (St. Ignatius) and how they battled evil in their lifetimes, and provide knights/castle toys. The great thing about focusing on knights is that it later lends itself to impressing upon them those virtues of the middle ages: chivalry, honor, self-sacrifice, defense of the poor and oppressed, courage. What mother wouldn't want her son to have these virtues?
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Caroline
Wife to  dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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CatholicMommy
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| Posted: May 02 2009 at 9:59am | IP Logged
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I have begun to do as Caroline suggests - basically, if you can't beat them, join them. So we've begun reading books and watching some (gentler) movies on knights and saints who "fought" in a variety of ways (not just weapons). I saw almost immediate (behavior/attitude)improvement and have recently delved into it further with him. My son does not have a father so it's even more important to provide really strong examples of chivalry, honor, etc.
My son is ALL OVER St. George!
The shooting games still continue but it has become more and more distinct as to defense versus offense, and the principles behind the "battles."
But more than anything, my son loves to re-enact scenes, whether from Joshua/Jericho, St. George, The Squire and the Scroll or a myriad of others.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 02 2009 at 10:03am | IP Logged
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My kids have fallen in love with Zorro.. Disney has released the first 2 seasons on dvd so that has been fun.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Willa
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| Posted: May 02 2009 at 3:55pm | IP Logged
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Regina Doman wrote a nice post about Sword-Fighting which has some rules for young soldiers. My boys are a lot like yours, it sounds, and I think "channel it into chivalry" -- the process lasts throughout boyhood.
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Willa
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knowloveserve
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| Posted: May 05 2009 at 11:35pm | IP Logged
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We've adopted the idea that this is bound to happen regardless of our efforts. We don't buy guns, but they turn pieces of driftwood or sticks into guns etc.
So long as they have a true and noble sense of order about their play, we don't worry. There is always a clear distinction between Good and Evil, and we help foster that... they aren't shooting up elderly women or anything... just "bad guys" and "monsters" usually.
We are also big fans of what's been suggested, exposing them to the honorable fighting men have done since the dawn of history... especially in medieval days.
Violence is okay in our home, so long as it's properly ordered.
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Ellie
The Bleeding Pelican
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Mary Chris
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| Posted: May 06 2009 at 7:03am | IP Logged
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When my middle son was around 5 he went over to play at our babysitters house. She had younger brothers and they had toy guns. At the time, we had a no gun rule. Well he came home with a toy gun to borrow. I got it away from him and put it up. Later he came to me and asked for it back. I asked him why do you want the gun?? What are you going to do with it??? He said, I want to hold it over my head and start a race. I gave him the gun, we ran a race.
We did have strict rules about not pointing sticks or lego guns at people, cars and airplanes. We encouraged them to use thier "guns" for hunting animals. We did have a lot of swords....and light sabers. Our first guns came from Mt. Vernon...now they come from Target and are the Nerf variety. I prefer the old wooden ones to Nerf guns.
Rescue Heroes were big when Carter was little and he had a lot of them. And he was into pirates too. Ronan just plays with the hand me downs. Now they like the knight figures you can get at Target. Like yours, my guys knew some of the commercial stuff but we didn't have it.
I am always honest with my boys about the dangers of guns. They know I was robbed at gunpoint when I was in college. Now that they are older they sometimes hear the news or see pictures in the paper.
Carter also was in Tae Kwon Do when he was 4-7. It was good for him and I liked that the boys were given safe places to spar and grapple and do all the boy stuff. It got a lot of energy out of him and also focused the energy.
Now my boys play and love lacrosse. I joke that they love it because they can finally run with sticks.
I think sports are great for boys (and girls too, my dd is playing four this season, including lacrosse). Even just riding his bike or roller blading in the front yard. We didn't have great sucess with Cub Scouts but there are good packs out there and now that Carter is old enough we may give Boy Scouts a try. Hiking and camping are great. Nature study is great, just getting out to all the local nature centers in our area, like you do, is good.
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Blessings, Mary Chris Beardsley
mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Boys, Toys & Fighting
