Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Kim F
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Posted: July 29 2005 at 12:56pm | IP Logged Quote Kim F

Elizabeth and I have been discussing some wonderful Protestant essays on being a wife, mother, and raising daughters. Obviously feminity is the theme here, and resurrecting the vision of loveliness, purity, and being a helpmeet are the specifics.

As wonderful as these resources have been, we would like to find the Catholic voice on these topics. I would like to start a collection of books/essays from Catholic authors. Whatever I can't find I hope to twist Elizabeth into writing LOL!

Do any of you have favorite Catholic resources on modesty, purity, femininity, being a wife and mother, or raising girls? I would like to compile a resource list to start collecting.

Kim
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Bridget
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Posted: July 30 2005 at 6:41am | IP Logged Quote Bridget

Oh Kim, this a great idea! There is a derth of Catholic writing in this area. I too, have been influenced and blessed by some Protestent writitngs but can't find much Catholic thought on these subjects.

There are so many articulate, devout, Catholic women here. Surely we can remedy this in the next few years!

Here are a few links I have found.

Mary Ellen Bork talks about a return to female Biblical roles.

Colleen Hammond wrote Dressing With Dignity

On Colleen's web site she has some good articles on marriage and men and women.

Proper Dress and Behavior for Catholic Women has lots of articles and links.

Alice Von Hildebrand on Feminism and Femininity.

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Louise
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Posted: July 30 2005 at 7:10am | IP Logged Quote Louise

Lydia and I have really enjoyed The Privilege of Being a Woman by Alice Von Hildebrand. Beautiful and uplifting.



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mrsgranola
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Posted: July 30 2005 at 10:38pm | IP Logged Quote mrsgranola

How 'bout Johnette Benkovic's "Women of Grace" program, books, radio show, TV show,etc.? I do enjoy her work and she has had so many good guests on her shows on these issues.

JoAnna

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materdei7
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Posted: July 31 2005 at 12:07am | IP Logged Quote materdei7

I second the books by Johnette....and the book by
Kimberly Hahn...Life-giving Love,( is full of the gifts
of motherhood, femininity,and marriage.) I found these very inspiring and grounding in our Catholic faith.
Warmly,

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Chari
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Posted: July 31 2005 at 12:57pm | IP Logged Quote Chari

Hello, dear friends,

When I saw these two threads about Catholic womanhood and pleasing our husbands...........I felt God show me the need for what I write below......

God has been pulling at my hearts these last few weeks to start this email
list (see below). I have finally got it together, in His timing. I am only
sending it to Catholic women and lists that I know. The forum will be
unlisted, and I may close it eventually, or moderate new members at some
point. For now, I will trust God to take care of inviting women of charity
and humility.

Here is the description found on the home page:
Happy is the husband of a good wife: for the number of his years is double.
A virtous woman rejoiceth her husband, and shall fulfil the years of his
life in peace. A good wife is a good portion, she shall be given in the
portion of them that fear God, to a man for his good deeds. Ecclesiasticus,
Chapter 26, 1-3
************************************************************ **
This email list is for Catholic women of all ages, to have a special place
to pray for each other's husbands and marriages. We can also use this forum
to discuss our vocations as wives.....supporting each other, asking for
advice. Those who have happy marriages, or long marriages, can guide those
who are struggling, or who are newly married. We can bring to our group:
books, prayers, Bible verses, articles, ideas...to support our vocation.
Each month, we will start with a Novena for our husbands, our marriages and
our vocations. There may be an occasional book study. Perhaps a once a month
topic. Hopefully, once a year we will pray a 54 Day Rosary Novena. Everyone
should feel safe here, to ask for any prayer or advice. You may email the
list owner privately and an annonymous request or question will be sent to
the list on your behalf. Two requests: we always stay focused on the topics
mentioned above....and no husband-bashing. All prayer requests are welcome,
especially those for our husbands, and ourselves as wives. The motivation
for starting this list was, I believe, divinely inspired. God has been
pressing on my heart the need that I, and other women have, of courage to
fulfill our vocations. All of you on this list will be in my daily prayers.
Our Patrons: The Blessed Virgin Mary, our guide and holy example of a
perfect wife; Saint Joseph, her spouse, and the holy example of the perfect
husband; Saint Anne, patron saint of wives & mothers, an ideal role model
for all mothers & housekeepers; Saint Monica, for her perseverance in prayer
& Blessed Anna Maria Taigi and Elisabeth Leseur.


Click here to join:

groups


sorry for the strange link.... ....I always have the worst luck turning anything into a link on this forum.....and I already spent ten minutes to get this one! So, just click anyway!   


God bless,

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Elizabeth
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Posted: Aug 01 2005 at 5:23pm | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

I'm kind of sad the conversation has gone elsewhere;I promised my husband I'd join no new lists. Sort of ironic huh?

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teachingmyown
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Posted: Aug 01 2005 at 7:19pm | IP Logged Quote teachingmyown

Why can't it go on here as well?

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Willa
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Posted: Aug 01 2005 at 7:24pm | IP Logged Quote Willa

I'd like to know more about the Protestant essays, books etc that you, Kim and Elizabeth were talking about originally.

I just read one by Elizabeth Elliot that was on my Mom's shelf when I was visiting her in Alaska... I forget what the book was called but it was letters to her daughter on what it means to be a woman -- it was pretty good.

The ones I have on my shelf are By Love REfined by ALice von Hildebrand. And "The ARt of a Happy Marriage" by Fr Thomas SJ -- haven't read them for a long time so I don't remember what they are like, but I know that Alice von Hildebrand's insights on femininity are always very good and I think her husband Dietrich von Hildebrand wrote a couple of books on marriage.

OH yes, and I have "Three to Get Married" by Fulton Sheen.

My daughter enjoyed both Dressing with Dignity and Beautiful GIrlhood when she was a bit younger. Presently is reading The Catholic Girl's Guide by Father Lasance.

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Elizabeth
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Posted: Aug 01 2005 at 7:33pm | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

Willa,
I think you read Let Me Be a Woman: Notes on Womanhood for Valerie. I've read that one.

I've also read Creative Counterpart, years ago.Around the same time, I read Fascinating Womanhood (written by a Mormon). And more recently, Created to Be His Help Meet and The Excellent Wife.

I listened to Kimberly Hahn's tape set on Proverbs 31, read Alice von Hildebrand's The Privilege of Being a Woman, and read the Catholic How to Change Your Husband.

Oh, and Dr. Laura's The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands!

And then Kim's been sending me online essays and articles as well...this is a very fascinating topic.


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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Bridget
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Posted: Aug 02 2005 at 4:26am | IP Logged Quote Bridget

Elizabeth wrote that she read 'Created to Be His Help Meet', and I found out that other Catholic women have read it and been helped by it as well. I'm so glad to know that. I read it too and it had a huge, positive impact on me. The author, Debi Pearl, has such a blunt, straight way of teaching that appeals to me. (She is not Catholic, much of her theology and Biblical interpretation is in error, so I would be hesitant to recommend the book to someone not grounded in the faith.)

What I learned from the book is to be cheerful, and to remember that I am my husband's help meet, not the other way around. I learned to really focus on him and find what pleases him in all areas. Often it wasn't what I had thought it would be. I have found these changes to be much easier and more joyful than I would have expected.

It reminded me of something an older Catholic woman, trained under the late Fr. Hardon, taught me; that our primary vocation is to be a wife, mothering being a huge chunk of that, but a wife first.   Our children and everything else we do in life will turn out better if we keep our priorities according to that wise and simple formula: 1) God, 2) spouse, 3) children.

'Created To Be His Help Meet' showed me how to put this idea in practice. How I long for someone to be teaching this, in a practical way, from a Catholic perspective!


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Elizabeth
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Posted: Aug 02 2005 at 7:34am | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

I agree wholeheartedly with Bridget. There are many, many caveats to Mrs. Pearl's book. It sort of boggles my mind that she could have made so many mistakes and still had a message so worth reading. But the book IS difficult to recommend because it's not Cahtolic and it's flawed reformed theology at that...The basic premise is very solid though and I, too, appreciated the writing style. And flaws and all, this book more than any of the others (except maybe Creative Counterpart ) truly changed my heart. Incidentally (and maybe importantly), I was reading I Believe in Love at the same time as Created to Be His Help Meet and I think God really used the two very different books to work together in my life.

I also had three close friends to talk with about what I was reading. They were private, intimate discussions grounded in the kind of trust that comes with being kindred spirits. While I think recommending resources and general encouragement are great things, I'm not sure an intimate discussion of those books or of a marriage in particular can or should be done in a public forum...I'd be interested to hear what others think.

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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Posted: Aug 02 2005 at 8:34am | IP Logged Quote Genevieve

Elizabeth wrote:


And then Kim's been sending me online essays and articles as well...this is a very fascinating topic.


If Kim or you don't mind, could you share these essays with us?



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Kim F
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Posted: Aug 02 2005 at 8:37am | IP Logged Quote Kim F

I can't join any lists at the moment. Am not doing a bit of justice to my current load as evidenced by the lag time in my responses! my dh already thinks I move more mail than the US Post Office. : /

I agree with all the notes about the Pearl book. The same could be said for her dhs work and their parenting book. I have sooo many caveats and I am not sure how many people I can recc them to. However I think taken in the proper spirit they are a treasure. In fact few books or websites have been more helpful. To me there is an underlying current of peace, selflessness, and kindness running through all their work. People tend to take them to an unhealthy extreme and use them as an excuse to be cruel.

My wish would be to have something that good without the few theological errors to recc. You KNOW you would get eaten alive recommending it as is in many Catholic circles. People get distracted by those aspects and miss the larger good the book has to offer.

I first read How to Change Your Husband and it is as challenging and as radical a book. Though it is Catholic it is so based on Medjegorja (slaughter the spelling no doubt!) that some may be off put there too.

I also read the Tan bio of Blessed Anna Maria Taigi on a friend's suggestion and that really complemented the other reading. Some won't stomach her example either since she was so into mortification of the flesh. But again, I think the larger message was similar to the other books.

No winning with this topic it seems!

Better respect my dear man and get this house together before we take off for the day!

Kim
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Meredith
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Posted: Aug 03 2005 at 9:35am | IP Logged Quote Meredith

Elizabeth wrote:
And more recently, Created to Be His Help Meet and The Excellent Wife.

And then Kim's been sending me online essays and articles as well...this is a very fascinating topic.


Could you elaborate on what these two books were like and would the essays and articles be something Kim could post here as well, or are they too lengthy?? Am so enjoying this conversation HERE as I am cut off on list joining as well (at the humble request of my DH ) Thanks ladies.

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Posted: Aug 03 2005 at 11:10am | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

Meredith,
I've only got a moment. I would buy the Pearl book again. I would not buy the Excellent Wife book. Even though the theology might be sounder in the latter, the book is poorly written and and not nearly inspiring as the Pearl book. More later...

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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Posted: Aug 03 2005 at 11:14am | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

Here's a Protestant goldmine:
Godly Womanhood

Lots of Reformed theology here, but worth sifting through to get the good stuff.

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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Meredith
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Posted: Aug 03 2005 at 11:42am | IP Logged Quote Meredith

Thanks Elizabeth, I couldn't get the Godly Womanhood to open, is there a webpage for it, don't worry yourself too much about it soon, my reading stack these days is teetering rather high. I should have taken an Evelyn Wood course long ago...sigh. I'll check my library for the Pearl book. Thanks again.

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Posted: Aug 03 2005 at 11:57am | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

Meredith--
the link worked from here...here's the addy
http://www.patriarchspath.org/Articles/GodlyWomanhood.htm

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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Posted: Aug 03 2005 at 1:34pm | IP Logged Quote BrendaPeter

Dear Bridget & Elizabeth,

We must have the same pile of books on our nightstands! Elizabeth, how was "I Believe in Love"? I confess that I have not read "Created to be His Help Meet" yet, but I read an excerpt of it in their newsletter & boy, did it answer so many questions for me about my own husband. I'm right there with you on the Pearls & their teachings, but wanted to add that Michael's article this month on "Jumping Ship" was quite eye-opening. Not to get too OT, but are there any Catholic sources out there for raising boys, especially when they hit adolescence? In case anyone is interested No Greater Joy. Go in with your eyes open !

Willa, I really enjoyed "By Love Refined" by Alice Von Hildebrand. It is a collection of letters that Alice wrote to her newly-married niece. Fairly light reading, especially compared to "The Privilege of Being a Woman" which was fantastic. Recently a good friend recommended "The Valiant Woman" by Monseigneur Landriot. It is available from Loreto Publications. Guess where my copy is sitting ?

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