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MamaFence
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| Posted: May 21 2010 at 12:22pm | IP Logged
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If you read my intro post, you know we're not actively homeschooling yet. Here's more about me and my decision making...or lack-thereof, so far.
Ever since we were married, we've talked about the possibility of hs-ing. If we lived in our first "home" state, we absolutely would hs due to poor choices around us. We don't live there now. We're in-between states, now, actually (moving in 6 weeks).
When we move, my oldest will be ready for 1st grade. While I've been happy with her education at the public school so far, my husband and I are also pretty sure that she hasn't gotten as much as she deserves from her education. She's advanced, and the last I spoke with her teacher, nearly at the level of top 1st graders at this point in the year on some standards.
In my heart, I would love to homeschool. I love the idea of homeschooling. I'm terrified of the reality: the paper-work, the possible run-ins with authorities, the "what-if's".
What has helped you make the decision and encouraged you go ahead and homeschool? I think I could some help here, and help in having the conversation with my husband. For some reason I just don't know where he stands on it lately, since we've spent the last year with DD in public school.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 21 2010 at 12:31pm | IP Logged
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First of all realize.. it's not a forever decision.. you CAN put a child back into public schools. So no worries.. if you don't like it or it stresses everyone out too much.. you don't have to keep doing it.
Second, it's really not going to be any harder than all the time you spend with her schooling anyway. Most of what you're dealing with is really "fear of the unknown" and that always makes everything seem much worse than it really is.
One of the best things you could do is look up a homeschooling group local to where you're moving and have a chance to talk with the people who are already dealing with the same regulations and personnel etc that you'd be dealing with. Then it will be what you really need to do and how things really work.. not just imaginings of what it might be.
You hear about the rare bad incidences not the majority of experience.. just like bad news travels fastest.. you're more likely to hear the bad stories than the good ones.. because the good ones attract no attention.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: May 21 2010 at 1:13pm | IP Logged
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It's good to have you here!
When my first child was young, someone, somewhere said to me something like, "Homeschooling may not be for everyone, but it is for anyone who wants to give it a try." That stuck with me and I translated it...If God is calling me to homeschool, then He will give me the grace and support I need. I know this may sound simplistic but it so true.
Once I was able to say that I wanted to do this, then the question was, can I do this. I honestly believe that the vast majority of families can homeschool, assuming they have a desire and are willing to work hard and find support.
From there, the key is to give yourself and your family adequate time to find your groove...find your way...see homeschooling as a learning process with it's own learning curve. For us, it helped to see homeschooling as part of our way of life...not just an imitation of school in our home.
You might find some encouragement and moments of "I can do that!" by reading this topic of what principles have helped some homeschooling mom to be confident and happy in their work. From there, you might want to figure out what your strengths are...what you like to do best...and we can brainstorm ways of how that can look at home for you.
God bless you during this time of discernment  . Praying for you and your family.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: May 21 2010 at 1:36pm | IP Logged
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Jodie and Angie have given you wonderful advice! Two more things come to mind that might help. As far as the "run ins with authorities" it really doesn't happen as often as you might think. And, you can be members of Homeschool Legal Defense which offers some protection "just in case". They will also help you to understand the homeschooling laws of your state, what is required and what really isn't. Actually, some states don't require much of anything (like Michigan  ) so it's very easy to homeschool.
Second, try to get to a homeschool conference. My first year of homeschooling a friend took me and I just remember being so amazed about how organized and professional the whole thing was. And the number of people there! I didn't realize how many people actually homeschooled! I don't think I even bought anything (I was too overwhelmed!) but it was reassuring that this was a large, organized group of people who have their children's best interest in mind.
Another thing is to be a member of this forum  - always so helpful. But also, read some homeschool blogs to get an idea of other homeschooler's days. Remember, you'll usually be reading about the good days though. We all have bad days so don't let it get you down if it all looks too perfect. Most people like to keep things pretty positive on their blogs (like me!).
Pray pray pray. My husband and I made a commitment to pray every night before we fell asleep. Sometimes holding hands and saying an Our Father was all we could do, but it was still prayer. Our concern was mostly for our quiet ds and whether or not he would have any friends. The summer before we started homeschooling, we met two homeschooling families, both with boys his age. It has been a wonderful thing.
God will guide you, just submit your will to His and pray a novena to St. Joseph that your husband does the same. As long as you two are on the same page, it will work out.
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Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
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SeaStar
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| Posted: May 21 2010 at 5:31pm | IP Logged
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When I was making my decision to homeschool, it all seemed overwhelming.
Then I realized I had already taught my children so many things... speaking English (not an easy thing!), potty training (ditto), safety rules... homeschooling was just a natural extension of that.
Is every day super great? Of course not. We have good days and bad days, just like with everything else.
We go by the "one day at a time" philosophy.
Whenever someone asks me how long I plan to homeschool, I always say we just take things one day at at time. That keeps me from stressing over the "what ifs" and "how will I teach calculus in eight years" .
It's not easy to be at home all the time with your children. But there are so many sweet moments... times when I was so glad that I was together with my child and got to see her read her first little book or watch him first make the connection of place values in math. Those "wow!" and "aha!" moments are ones that I would not trade. They make all the rough patches worth wading through.
And, I don't know-- there is just a different sense of time with homeschooling. Our days belong to us... all the wonder, all the learning, all the problems, all the laughter... it's all right here, in our home. That is a blessing all by itself.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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SallyT
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| Posted: May 22 2010 at 11:20am | IP Logged
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What everyone else says is true: it doesn't have to be a forever decision. We began homeschooling seven years ago, when our oldest was 9, and the good advice which our state-mandated umbrella school (well, it was one of several state-mandated options!) gave us was to try it for two years before deciding things weren't working. Of course one doesn't have to give it that long, but in our experience it was helpful to be reminded to look at "successes" and "failures" in a broader context than that of a bad day, a bad week, a bad month. Even seasoned classroom teachers have periods of time when things don't fly, and school systems implement whole curricula which turn out to be disasters, which is useful to remember when a day at home seems like a total loss. (which in reality it probably isn't).
In seven years and two states, we have never -- knock wood -- had a run-in with authorities of any kind, and the paperwork has honestly not been any more onerous than keeping up with the children's school schedules and work was before we homeschooled. In fact, I find it far less onerous and easier to maintain.
There's no end of online resources to help with this -- we use a program called Homeschool Reporting.com to record grades, attendance, extracurricular activities, etc. It prints out transcripts -- we just used this feature in our application to the University of Dallas's summer Arete program for high-schoolers (accepted -- yay!) -- and even has a modest lesson-plan feature.
We now have a rising senior, a rising 7th grader, a rising 3rd grader, and a rising 1st grader all at home, which is . . . interesting . . . some days. I guess if someone asked me, I might still say I was taking it one day at a time, but at this stage I really think -- barring unforeseen circumstances -- we're in it for the long haul. I do love seeing one child learn to read, another child take off with math, another child consumed with a love for history, and one child, as if overnight, shifting into the kind of high-gear that suddenly means she LIKES reading and talking about things like Darwin's Black Box, or O Pioneers, and has ideas about where she wants to be in the future. Being that intimately involved in all those processes, even though I can't really take credit for making them happen. Even though I've now seen four people learn to read, for example, it still seems like an utter mystery . . .
Godspeed you in your decisionmaking.
Sally
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SallyT
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| Posted: May 22 2010 at 11:24am | IP Logged
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Oh, and what made us decide to homeschool in the first place? We got sick of telling ourselves that an "okay" education was enough. And we realized that virtually everything of substance that our children knew while they were in school was something they had learned at home. Our oldest daughter's teachers used to thank us for sending her to school with knowledge to share with everyone else, and nice though they were, and flattered though we were, we eventually decided that this middleman was really taking up too much of our valuable time.
Sally
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MamaFence
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| Posted: May 22 2010 at 12:12pm | IP Logged
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Thank you all so much!
Sally, your second reply really hits home for me. Aside from some good mysterious encouragement in my daughter's reading, I can't really say *what* this year in school has taught her.
And then I keep thinking about how much I love to teach them things and do fun things with them...and how much potential there is for learning outside a classroom.
I am feeling really pulled to homeschool. I need to take the time to talk more with my husband about it (which is tricky right now, as he's already "moved" to our new state across the country and is in intense job-training).
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: May 22 2010 at 2:56pm | IP Logged
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And remember...technically you only have to do as well academically as your local public school. Anything more is icing on the cake.
And with a first grader you really don't need to do more than an hour or so of formal work...that's as much time as many parents spend helping their schooled kids in second or third grade do homework every night. The earlier you start the less pressure there is.
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Barbara
Mom to "spirited" dd(9), "spunky" dd (6), "sincere" dd (3), "sweet" dd (2), and baby girl #5 born 8/1/12!!
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SallyT
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| Posted: May 28 2010 at 4:45pm | IP Logged
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Having begun with a 9-year-old who had spent four years in school, I'll add that it is MUCH easier to begin homeschooling a child who has not spent that many years in school. Our first year, the oldest was 9/4th grade, and the next one down was almost 6 and doing kindergarten. Even though he had spent several years in preschool and one in "Reception," (the English version of kindergarten), he was far more open to having me do things with him, and the adjustment to a homeschooling life was far easier.
Personality differences account for some of the difference in their responses (and the oldest is now very glad to be homeschooled, but boy, at the time . . . ), but the longer a child spends in school, the more of a transition you face if you decide later to homeschool. It can be done, of course, and often is, quite successfully, but if you do feel pulled to homeschool, I think it's probably easier to try it now and later transition into school than vice versa.
Just some more food for thought . . .
Sally
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mama2many
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| Posted: May 28 2010 at 8:10pm | IP Logged
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You know my feeling for you on this one!!
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Veronika
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| Posted: May 29 2010 at 7:14pm | IP Logged
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I consider myself to have been in the very same situation at the beginning of this school year. Now, we are homeschooling our oldest daughter (15/9th grade) and are enjoying her process so much that we've decided to bring the rest home in September. What was the final straw for MY husband? It had to be the offensive book that my first grade girls were expected to read in our public school. I was crushed. We loved our little elementary school, I had gone there myself! The administration prided itself on promoting tolerance and harmony among those who have chosen alternative lifestyles and had no intention of altering their progressive program. Please, keep your eyes open. Be aware that public school systems have a tolerance policy for everyone but conservative catholic families. My husband had seen enough and finally decided to give in and let me give homeschooling a try. I'm so excited! I have alot of questions, of course, and I'm not sure that I'll be the perfect teacher, but I promise you I'll do a better job educating my dear ones than the public school that they were in! Pray for courage and discernment. You can do this. Especially ask Pope John Paul II, he truly came through for us. I'll be praying for you as well!
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Veronika
devoted wife and Apostolate of Holy Motherhood Mom of 5 precious children: daughter '94, son '96, son '98, and twin daughters '02...
and one little girl in heaven
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MamaFence
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| Posted: May 29 2010 at 7:18pm | IP Logged
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Thank you all. The replies are so helpful. I'll keep you posted. :D
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Making the decision
