Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Planning and Ordering our Days
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mama2many
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Posted: Dec 30 2010 at 4:27pm | IP Logged Quote mama2many

I'm looking to either make or find charts that have a time table on them, like
wake up 7am
breakfast 8am
school 9am

ya know?? I'd like to laminate it and post it for the kids to get to daily (as we're trying this out bc CHAOS is ruling, and it's killing me)

Do you understand what I'm looking for?

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Posted: Dec 30 2010 at 8:05pm | IP Logged Quote VanessaVH

The most precise schedule I have ever seen is in
A Mother's Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul Link

I got some good overall hints, but I did find it overwhelming to look at her actual schedules when I have so many littles (soon to be 4 under 6) Her suggestions to send all the kids including baby out to play while she has prayer time or have an older tend to the youngers while you work one on one with another kid, feel like unreachable dreams to me most days....

Right now I am just using charts I make up with a picture, word and check box for each little chore (5yo morning list : Get Washed & Dressed, Eat Breakfast, Brush Teeth & Vitamin, Vacuum under table) Which works well only when I enforce it.... So I think I just need to be more disciplined myself
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stellamaris
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Posted: Dec 30 2010 at 9:14pm | IP Logged Quote stellamaris

I think I know what you are looking for, Krystin. We use several charts here, especially for my special needs son. All of the children benefit from being able to visualize the “plan” of the day.

My first suggestion is to begin with prayer.     I do an annual novena to the Holy Spirit before our school year begins. You won’t get far without a real reliance on God’s help. Once you’ve taken care of that basic, then:


1. Don't get TOO detailed.

It’s really tempting to write down every little thing, but I have found that “chunks” of time are more realistic. Start your plan with the big items, keep them relatively few, something like:

   7 Wake up. Do morning chore chart (see more on this below)
   8 Breakfast, help with dishes
   8:30 Chores (you make up a daily list, just write on a piece of paper what jobs need doing, have each child pick one or two and do them. With your little ones, you need jobs to be very simple and done with you) or maybe you would like to Walk or even begin school at this time (or earlier).
   9-12 School (you might break this down further on a separate chart)
   12 Angelus, Lunch, Read Alouds (we do read-alouds during lunch)
   1-5 One or two big items in here. Maybe exercise, another chore session, errands, music, more school work.
   6 Dinner, help with clean-up
   8   Rosary (or whatever you do prior to bed)
   8:30 Bed (or earlier for littler ones)

A basic schedule like this will help keep you on track. You could add one or two more details, but if you get too many details in there, you will have trouble sticking to your plan.

2. Make specific chore or school charts interactive.

Children      to see the progress they have made. Our morning chore chart has been a huge success here. The chart is a piece of construction paper divided by a dark line in half the long way, entitled “Morning Chores”, and laminated. I then had each children color pictures representing the morning chores on separate square (about 2” x 2”) pieces of paper. I used pictures I had from the CHC Kindergarten program, but you could draw them or have the children draw them, as long as it is clear to them what the picture represents.
Each square was laminated and I put Velcro on the back. The matching (or other part) of the Velcro I put on both the top and bottom of the chart. Can you follow this?      I had 5 “loop” pieces of Velcro along the top of the chart, and 5 “loop” pieces below them along the bottom of the chart. Now, all the chore pictures were arranged on the top half of the chart. As each child did the chore, he would move the chore picture to the Velcro on the bottom half of the chart.

This takes a long time to explain, but it is very simple, interactive, and rewarding for the children. They can see as they go along just what they have done and what remains to be done. Btw, our chores were: Make Bed, Pick up Toys, Brush Teeth, Get Dressed, Say Morning Prayers.

Another interactive idea we have used is to make a strip that has the chores or activities in order from left to right (I divide the strip into sections and draw and label a picture in each section to represent the activity). Laminate. Use a clothespin to clip to the section you are working on, and you then move the clothespin to the right as you complete each section. For example, in math we have a strip chart with four sections: Flash Cards, Worksheet, Activity, Review Tray. As the child completes each section, they move the clothespin to the next section and do that activity. This has completely eliminated the “negotiation” that can sometimes torpedo a lesson (you know, “I don’t want to do flashcards…why can’t we do something else…I hate math…I won’t do it! ) It’s weird, but when it is in black and white on the strip they rarely argue about it. I guess there is no point arguing with a piece of paper and a clothespin!

Our greatest successes in following plans have been when we have used interactive charts like these.

3. “Peg” chores/events to meals

Somehow, we never forget to eat!         So I try to “peg” the things I really want to accomplish to a meal. That’s why we have read-alouds at lunch; same with the Angelus. You could have a pick-up time before lunch, or just after breakfast. You could have a rule such as , “No breakfast until morning chores are completed.” Let your meal times be your basic skeleton and fit the rest of the day around them.

4. Don’t expect too much from a plan.

Plans are great, but they won’t do any of the work for you. (So sad!! ) You have to make the effort to inspect the chores, do the work, keep the kids on task. Some days that just isn’t going to happen. Don’t beat yourself up over this. It is life; every day is full of the unexpected, especially in a large family. Just try to keep on moving toward a more orderly day, and one day you will find you have done it! At least for that day!


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Posted: Dec 30 2010 at 11:42pm | IP Logged Quote MicheleQ

Caroline wrote:
3. “Peg” chores/events to meals
Somehow, we never forget to eat!         So I try to “peg” the things I really want to accomplish to a meal. That’s why we have read-alouds at lunch; same with the Angelus. You could have a pick-up time before lunch, or just after breakfast. You could have a rule such as , “No breakfast until morning chores are completed.” Let your meal times be your basic skeleton and fit the rest of the day around them.


Krystin, take a look through the archives for more posts on pegs. I can tell you from experience that rarely do specific time schedules work well. If, as you wrote above, "CHAOS is ruling", then jumping into a timed routine may only add to your stress.

Take a look at this post from 2007 to understand what I am talking about. I know your trying to ease into a more CM style of homeschooling so I would gently encourage you not to try and do too much at once.

God bless,

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Posted: Dec 31 2010 at 7:25am | IP Logged Quote Becky Parker

Yes - "Pegs"! This concept saved my sanity! I tried so hard to follow the scheduling ideas in Managers of Their Homes but failed every time. In despair, I read here about the "pegs" concept and we've been able to follow a routine, to some degree, ever since.

Now, in defense of MOTH, it did help me to see that I was trying to fit way to much into each day and there was no way I had enough hours for all I wanted to do. But trying to follow a schedule that was so rigid wasn't my style and I just couldn't do it.

Having pegs allows us to stay on track and it gives us that routine or flow to our day that we need. Actually, since the baby arrived 2 weeks before Christmas, and then all the feasting of Christmas, we have been away from our routine and it's starting to show in my kids behavior. Time to get back to the routine!

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Posted: Dec 31 2010 at 11:30am | IP Logged Quote Willa

Caroline, I love all the details you give! Like you, I try to have a loose flow going and leave plenty of space between different things so I am not always racing to catch up.

Jen's post on Organization of the Day is very detailed and helpful.



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Posted: Dec 31 2010 at 2:53pm | IP Logged Quote Erin

Krystin

Stellamaris wrote:
It’s really tempting to write down every little thing, but I have found that “chunks” of time are more realistic.


I would really, really agree with this via hard earned experience.

Stellamaris wrote:
Plans are great, but they won’t do any of the work for you. (So sad!! ) You have to make the effort to inspect the chores, do the work, keep the kids on task.

I found this to be true, so sad but.. if you start small when everything seems overwhelming like it is for you at present, you can slowly climb out of that pit and start creating some order and peace.

Willa wrote:
I try to have a loose flow going and leave plenty of space between different things so I am not always racing to catch up.


Leaving room is the key which is why MOTH never worked as I felt I became a slave to the chart. With plenty of room the chart more worked for me.

I have a basic Daily Routine chart if that helps, with pics. I found it hard to find anything so ended up creating one myself. No times on it is meant to be flexible.



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Posted: Dec 31 2010 at 4:56pm | IP Logged Quote MamaFence

love all the tips here! I second the book mentioned above...mother's rule of life...i read it years ago and need to get back to it.

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Posted: Jan 01 2011 at 8:24am | IP Logged Quote mama2many

I'm going to ask St. Anthony to help me find my copy of Mother's Rule of Life...I read it when I had 2 kids, and it seemed none of it applied!!

Thank you so much ladies, I look forward to this new year, new routine. New lots of stuff!

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Posted: Jan 01 2011 at 9:32am | IP Logged Quote violingirl

May I humbly offer 1 bit of advice? Once you decide on various routines, only work to implement one at first. I first worked on just establishing a morning routine that took about 45 minutes around breakfast and getting just that part of it going took about 2 weeks of training my boys AND myself. After that I worked on adding our evening routine, and then lunch time... I think I would have given up on day 3 if I'd tried to do it all in one day every single day.

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Posted: Jan 01 2011 at 2:13pm | IP Logged Quote stellamaris

violingirl wrote:
May I humbly offer 1 bit of advice? Once you decide on various routines, only work to implement one at first. I first worked on just establishing a morning routine that took about 45 minutes around breakfast and getting just that part of it going took about 2 weeks of training my boys AND myself. After that I worked on adding our evening routine, and then lunch time... I think I would have given up on day 3 if I'd tried to do it all in one day every single day.


I agree wholeheartedly with this excellent advice. Take your time to implement any schedule and your family will be able to understand and cooperate with you.

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Posted: Jan 06 2011 at 12:36am | IP Logged Quote MamaFence

oooh, that is good advice. maybe that's why I can't get our mornings and lunches under control...i need to focus on only one at a time.   

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Posted: Jan 07 2011 at 6:53am | IP Logged Quote mamaslearning

I have been working on a morning routine for about two weeks now, and even though I am itching to start more routines, we need to focus on this one a bit longer. I'm finally to a point that I can wake up and get myself going without having that internal battle of "I don't want to get up - But you have to get up". The kids are also starting to do their morning routines with less of my help.

Here's what we are working on:

6:30 - Mom up, prayer, eat
7:00 - Mom shower, computer
7:30 - Kids up and eat
8:00 - Kids morning chores - dress, hygiene, p/u rooms/Mom chores (laundry, kitchen dishes)
9:00 - Sit down for Daily Bread and Chaplet of Divine Mercy (on radio)
9:30 - Start school

That's the basics right now. I also have a newborn, so I sit and nurse whenever needed, and change diapers or attend to other needs as well. My DH is also home in the morning until 7:30 on most days, so he takes care of the newborn (and any of the other kids that happen to get up) so I can my prayers, breakfast, and shower accomplished.



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Posted: Jan 07 2011 at 10:53am | IP Logged Quote AmandaV

what do you do with early risers? I just recently weaned my 2 1/2 year old twins, so they are sleeping better but they are still up by 6:45 or 7 most days. I'm trying to get myself up before 6:30, but so far to no avail. So when I try to do the morning routine with prayer, shower, tidying, breakfast, I tend to be unsuccessful because then i'm making little snacks for the twin boys 110 minutes after I get up, while also hurrying to make breakfast for my husband before he leaves. ( this is important to us as it starts our day off right to have a healthy breakfast, and helps him avoid too big a lunch or snacking.) But this leaves me unshowered, in pajamas, with no morning tidying, swish and swipe, etc. done... It seems I've always had a nurser over the years. they woke up with my forever since they were in our bed. I know most of us have had this issue and mine will grow older soon, but right now I am at a loss...

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Posted: Jan 07 2011 at 11:13am | IP Logged Quote DominaCaeli

Amanda,

I have early risers too--Baby is usually up around 5:30, and the rest get up around 6 or 6:30. But other than the baby, who is tended to right away, they do not get out of their rooms until around 7. I go in, say good morning, have them use the bathroom, and then they go back to their beds to chat with their siblings until "get up time." That is strictly enforced around here, and it gives me some buffer time.

Some other ideas:

:: I hate the feeling of starting off the day already behind, so I do force myself to get up early. On days I exercise and shower, I get up at 5:15. On the other days, I get up when the baby gets up, feed and change him, and then put him on my back in the Ergo to attend to my other tasks. This means an early bedtime for me, but the children go out early too, so I do get some time off in the evenings.

:: During the first ten minutes or so after getting the kids up, I have something particular set out for them to play with so that I can get their breakfast on the table. Then while they start to eat, I get my start on morning chores: do laundry, straighten up.

:: Can you do more prep in the evening? I do all the prep work I can think of at night before going to bed: fill the kids' breakfast glasses, set the table, empty the dishwasher, bake breakfast if I can, make my husband's lunch for the next day, straighten the house, prepare their breakfast-time craft project.

:: I keep my morning prayers short since I know it is a busy time for me: morning offering and a few other prayers. Then I schedule more prayer time later in the day when things are more flexible: Rosary with the family in the evening, a bit of prayer during "quiet time," devotions with the children before bed, night prayers on my own. My night prayers are the time when I make up for prayer time lost at other parts of the day.

Thank you for all the tips and experience shared here so far. I think I need to get out my copy of Mother's Rule of Life again--I haven't read it in a long while, and I think I would get a lot out of it now that the baby's schedule is getting a little more predictable.

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Posted: Jan 07 2011 at 12:07pm | IP Logged Quote AmandaV

Thanks for the thoughts, Celeste! I try to do more night prep, but lately I fall asleep putting the twins to bed then wake up after 10, maybe load some dishes or something else then fall asleep. i know, self control. Need to work on mommy first. :)
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Posted: Jan 07 2011 at 12:22pm | IP Logged Quote DominaCaeli

AmandaV wrote:
Thanks for the thoughts, Celeste! I try to do more night prep, but lately I fall asleep putting the twins to bed then wake up after 10, maybe load some dishes or something else then fall asleep. i know, self control. Need to work on mommy first. :)


Amanda, this doesn't sound like a self-control issue--this sounds like an exhaustion issue!!    Honestly, if I were that tired, I would focus on trying to get more sleep first of all, and then let all the other things work into place when I was more rested. For me, it is hard to make any changes when I am running on fumes! Prayers for you!

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Posted: Jan 07 2011 at 12:38pm | IP Logged Quote mamaslearning

AmandaV wrote:
what do you do with early risers? I just recently weaned my 2 1/2 year old twins, so they are sleeping better but they are still up by 6:45 or 7 most days. I'm trying to get myself up before 6:30, but so far to no avail. So when I try to do the morning routine with prayer, shower, tidying, breakfast, I tend to be unsuccessful because then i'm making little snacks for the twin boys 110 minutes after I get up, while also hurrying to make breakfast for my husband before he leaves. ( this is important to us as it starts our day off right to have a healthy breakfast, and helps him avoid too big a lunch or snacking.) But this leaves me unshowered, in pajamas, with no morning tidying, swish and swipe, etc. done... It seems I've always had a nurser over the years. they woke up with my forever since they were in our bed. I know most of us have had this issue and mine will grow older soon, but right now I am at a loss...

Amanda

married '03, ds '04, dd '06, ds/ds '08, due 7/11


Looks like you are expecting another blessing this year. Congratulations! I know that when I'm pregnant I have no energy no matter how much sleep I get. I have the same spacing (without twins though) and it has been very difficult to order my life while having so many little ones. I just keep praying and hoping that what I'm doing is what needs to be done right now for our family.

My newborn (okay, he's three months old now) sleeps with us and I try to nurse him right before I arise to buy some time. If not, I usually get about 20 minutes before he notices that I am out of the bed. I forgot to mention that my husband is up earlier than I am and is already showered, dressed, and has eaten breakfast before I wake up for the day. He has an internal clock that wakes him up at 5 am everyday no matter when he goes to bed. Since he's ready for the day, he has the time to take care of the baby and the two year old. Most mornings I am nursing during my prayer and breakfast.

For a long time, my prayertime was in the shower.   

I love reading about how others approach this issue. Thanks for sharing.


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Posted: Jan 07 2011 at 2:53pm | IP Logged Quote AmandaV

Thanks for the thoughts. Yes, I get more tired, especially with two climbing toddlers constantly on the move! And I should try to get more sleep. I also need to just work on the morning routine. After twins, I let myself have some time since everything was so crazy,and I think I never quite got out of that, as far as structure in the morning. So its painful to try to fix little by little now. But I am inspired! I just need to keep it simple.

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Posted: Jan 08 2011 at 4:19pm | IP Logged Quote Faithr

My kids are older now, but I read the Mother's Rule for Life and for some reason it didn't click with me, though it was a very good read! It was inspiring but I didn't actually use any of the advice. For me the best thing is a check list of all the bare minimum things I need to do each day to keep chaos at bay. Have that checklist somewhere (like above the kitchen sink) and consult it often. There are certain things that I knew if I did them, the day would flow that much smoother. They were:

1. Make bed (so that even if the rest of the house was a mess, there'd be an island of neatness in my room I could fall into!).

2. Unload dishwasher first thing in the a.m. If the dishwasher was unloaded first thing I could keep a handle on the kitchen all day. But if the sink filled up with dishes and the dishwasher still needed unloading, things got out of hand fast!

3. Nap time after lunch NO MATTER WHAT! Iron clad rule. I had to at least lose consciousness for a minute or two but my aim was a 20 minute cat nap. Then I'd get up and have a cup of tea. It usually really refreshed me.

4. End of day 15 minute tidy up just to get the most annoying stuff I was tripping over off the floor and put away in some fashion. I'd put the timer on, the kids would be my 'runners' (we still do this) and I quick tidy and have them running to and fro putting things away.

5. I forgot this for the a.m. Put on load of laundry every morning. If I got something on before breakfast I felt much more on top of things. Even if I didn't remember to change the laundry until bedtime at least a load of laundry got washed and dried in 24 hours!

As for early risers, this sounds terrible but my kids for the longest time associated Barney with Mommy taking a shower. Pop in a video. Drink a cup of coffee. Grab a quick shower. I'd bring the baby into the bathroom with me in their bouncer and sing songs at the top of my lungs if they got fussy while I was shampooing.

Those were the days. I miss them!
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