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Cheryl
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| Posted: Feb 18 2007 at 1:07pm | IP Logged
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My dh is going shopping for a new TV today. First, let me say that he is not at all impulsive. He has been talking about this for at least 9 months now. He is also interested in buying an X-Box or Playstation or something like that. I'm feeling uncomfortable about this. I think this is the first time my dh and I have thought so differently on something. We already have 3 TV's in our house. We have a 36 inch monster in dh's study, a 32 inch in the living room and a small old TV in the playroom. My dh is going shopping for a new flatscreen to put on the wall in his study (to make more room in there) and he'd like to put the monster TV in the playroom. I worry that this is sending a message to the dc that TV's are very important.
We only get the basic 15 cable channels, and we don't even watch that much TV, so my dh thinks it's fine. About the video games, he says that he can snuggle with the dc and play them, that we can limit them and that losing them would be a good consequence for wrong behavior.
I think there are better things for the dc to be doing with their time. I also think they could be addictive. Part of me feels that the new TV is OK because my dh works so hard for our family, and I'm happy for him to have his place to unwind, but I think we should get rid of the monster TV. What are your thoughts on TV's and videogames? Am I worried for nothing?
I want our dc to value books and spiritual things. (Of course, I spend too much time on this computer.  )
And here's another topic to ponder. I read somewhere that we live in a shopping culture. My family is definitely part of it. Do you ever worry about being materialistic?
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Cheryl
Wife to Bob ('97)
Mom to Matthew 13, Joseph 11, Sarah 10, Rachel 6, Hannah almost 4 and Mary 1
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J.Anne
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| Posted: Feb 18 2007 at 1:19pm | IP Logged
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I don't have any answers, but it is the same way in our house. I tend not to say anything because of what you said, "my dh works so hard for our family". But his primary method of 'relaxing' is to watch sports or play his Xbox. It wouldn't be as big of a problem, but it does cut into our family time and the night time routines are 100% my responsibility.
I remember what it is like to work outside the home and how physically tired I was when I came home. All I wanted to do was lie on the couch as well. I can't say that he is wrong in doing so.
My children are younger and don't have an interest yet, but I will draw a line there. 
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5athome
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| Posted: Feb 18 2007 at 3:15pm | IP Logged
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I share your concerns. My dh does play video games with our boys and they do have fun together. As long as you have limits it should work ok. I would caution you to really look at the game choices before investing in a system. We have a gamecube -- we really felt that xbox and playstation marketed games more towards older teens and college kids.
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juststartn
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| Posted: Feb 18 2007 at 4:10pm | IP Logged
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Well, I don't have any boys..yet. LOL. While DH is more interested in computers than I am, and definitely wants a larger tv eventually, we've been using the same one I had back in college (a decent 19 or 21 inch model from the early 90s) since we got married.
My main concern would be the tendencies of my dc. DO they have a tendency to get wrapped around the axle about every new thing? Do they already have some "addictive" type traits showing up? Esp with boys, I would be careful (most games are marketed towards boys)...
I just don't want the things in our home, and so far DH has respected that. I think that there are FAR better things that our dc can learn to do with their time--FAR more productive uses of it, at least, to my mind. I see way too many young men who have nothing better to do (They really do, but that is how they choose to spend their time and money) sitting around playing video games, when they have FAR more important things to do--like, getting their educations, taking care of their families, etc. DH is in the army, and let me tell you, its a real sad waste...to see that sort of stuff...
I know of young married men NOT in the army, however, who are the same way. Come home, eat dinner in front of the tv, play video games til the wee earlies, and then pack it off to bed....maybe they've spent a half hour around their kids all night.
Of course, I don't see tv as a "bonding" experience either. There's little to no real interaction. It emphasizes the singular experience...not the familial. Even the "let's play together" type games, emphasize one vs the other, not working together as a team (not that I think that being a "winner" is a bad thing--it just seems that one will likely 'win' more than another, simply because of better motor skills, more practice, whatever)....
No, don't want them myself.
And yes, my DH works very hard to make the money. But we've got one tv, and I plan on it staying that way. Any more than that, and it just seems to get really divisive of the family structure....every one in their own little "world"....
Just my $.02...
Rachel
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cathhomeschool
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| Posted: Feb 18 2007 at 4:20pm | IP Logged
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5athome wrote:
| I share your concerns. My dh does play video games with our boys and they do have fun together. As long as you have limits it should work ok. I would caution you to really look at the game choices before investing in a system. We have a gamecube -- we really felt that xbox and playstation marketed games more towards older teens and college kids. |
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I second this completely. Dh plays with 4 boys and they really do enjoy that time together (on weekends). We do limit it. Game systems: We were given our first (an xbox) and quickly realized that there were very few games our kids could play. A year later, we bought a gamecube so that they could have something more appropriate to replace the xbox. At the time, we intended to get rid of the xbox, but then realized that it would mean having to buy Lego Star Wars all over again for the gamecube, so we kept both systems.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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cathhomeschool
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| Posted: Feb 18 2007 at 4:36pm | IP Logged
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Cheryl, I regularly struggle with the "materialism" thoughts. What do we really need? (Not much!) It is hard to find a balance, and living in the US doesn't make it any easier. We try not to be wasteful, and donate to worthy causes regularly. We really evaluate before spending money and don't splurge often. Still, a part of me feels that we could move into a very small house and save on taxes and insurance and donate much more than we do. The other part of me realizes that the kids enjoy their space here and the big yard. We invite friends over (when I am not sleep deprived) and share what we have. Balance is the key, I suppose.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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Hoosiermama
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| Posted: Feb 18 2007 at 7:23pm | IP Logged
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I wouldn't recommend an Xbox at all. We've had 3 of them and they all broke. Plus, the games are very graphic, very realistic and alot of them I just would not allow my teens to play, ever.
We just bought a Wii. I'm not a fan of video games at all, but I do enjoy this one. We only have 2 games for it and I'm not going to allow them to have a big collection of them. The Wii at least requires the player to be up and active while playing, so thats a good thing (small, but good). The bowling game on it is SO much fun. We can all play it together as a family.
I'd much rather not have any game system at all, but DH and the boys like them.
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Willa
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We just got an X-Box and we only have the arcadey type games like Marble Blast (my DH helped program the original on PC!) and Geometry Wars and oh, yes, NCAA football. The game console is in the centre of everything and it's sort of a family activity.
We deal with video games by generally limiting them to two days a week and by making them into a part of our family culture. Yes, I know what you mean about the distracting effect, Cheryl. I do worry about this too. VGS are fast-paced, to me at least, and they seem to work against slowing things down.
About materialism -- personally, my most consumeristic moments come about when I am pondering homeschool shopping. I could easily live without TVs or even computers. But somehow the homeschool curriculum junkying is a big weak spot for me. I see what other homeschoolers have and I want it, and it's just like those commercials where the boy believes he will really get the girl if he drinks Dr Pepper. I think materialism and consumerism come from a kind of hunger. I do think you can buy something new once in a while without consumerism though.
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Willa
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Bridget
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Our priest is constantly harping about keeping our boys away from electronic games. He sited some study about lower test scores related to game usage. I keep meaning to ask him where he read it.
Really, you are going to have to trust your DH to regulate this himself if he gets a game system. Don't let it become an issue.
On a lighter note, maybe you can convince him that he needs to save the purchase of a game system for a bribe when high school work rolls around. 
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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Cheryl
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| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 11:34am | IP Logged
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I appreciate your comments. Well, he came home from the stores with nothing again. He's going to wait until the cabinets are installed in his study before he purchases the TV. He may wait until Christmas for a game system (for himself). I told him I might be interested in one of the dance revolution things.  It is reassuring to hear that some of you have games and are able to limit them.
I felt better last night after talking with a good friend of mine who reminded me that we are pretty good with money. She kindly suggested I trust my dh (as Bridget said too). I think I may have been a bit controlling .
Willa, I too have a weakness for homeschooling supplies. I buy lots of them and I have trouble getting rid of them. It's funny how I'll keep loads of books that I might use someday, but I have no problem tossing a pan or some clothing that we haven't used in 6 months. Now I can think of Dr. Pepper when I get the urge to buy curricula.
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Cheryl
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Mom to Matthew 13, Joseph 11, Sarah 10, Rachel 6, Hannah almost 4 and Mary 1
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LH
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| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 11:45pm | IP Logged
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What are your thoughts on TV's and videogames? Am I worried for nothing?
We are "no screen" Mon-Fri [school week]
by the time the weekend comes around, DS would rather be out playing. When he's at his dad's he does do a lot of "screens."
We are very not-materialistic, perhaps in part because we are no screens ? ? Where does "materialistic" stem from ? ?
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: TV, videogames and materialism
