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SeaStar
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How did you know when you started that homeschooling was right for you? I'm sure this question has been asked and answered often, but I am new to all this. I never imagined I would be considering homeschooling. My kids are preschool age, and we do a lot of fun stuff at home. They love learning, and I love teaching them.
Still, I have my doubts. Can I really do this? Is it best for my kids? I have no peace in my heart when I think of sending them off to public or Catholic school, yet I am full of fear as far as making the wrong choice. I pray daily that I will be led.
For those of you who have been there- how did you know?
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Rachel May
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I didn't. I still don't. I take it one day at a time, one year at a time. I can say it's right for now, and I hope forever, but I don't know.
__________________
Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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Nina Murphy
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For me, after 13 years....I still have to say it was a leap of faith in the beginning and has been an Act of Faith every year since. I tell people who are incredulous: I don't do it because it's easy; I do it because I believe it's right.
That's what it has always come down to: obedience. In the earlier years, it was obedience to God and what I believed was right and what He wills; in the later years as things have gotten more and more challenging, it has been about obedience, as well. My husband is the true homeschooling advocate in this family. He does not have the "voices in his head" from family members or from his own tortured temperament telling him there might be a better way. What I have done over the past few years is concentrate on all of the fruits, on the positives vs. the negatives (because they are there in my family) and on what brings me and the children joy in homeschooling together....mostly books.
__________________
God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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guitarnan
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God let me know through a series of confirming events. I had no intention of homeschooling, but we were headed overseas and the base school at our future base wasn't too great. My dh told me I really needed to homeschool our children. (Ack!) Then...our church had a homeschooling panel discussion night, their first ever. Then...the mom of one of my son's classmates told me all about homeschooling her older son, and how she was pulling Joseph out of Catholic school next year as well. She gave me some Catholic homeschooling info. Then...my daughter started teaching herself to read, and she was only 4. Then...you get the idea. It went on and on and on until I stood in my kitchen, looked up to Heaven and said, "OK, I'll do it."
The results (in terms of children's happiness and number of hugs Mommy received per day) were instant. My son's whole demeanor changed. We really enjoyed the scheduling flexibility because we could maximize family time while my dh was at sea/on shift work.
We're now on year 5, our first high school year, and our 3rd residence in five years. So far, whenever I've had doubts, God's helped me see that I needed to keep doing this. Whenever I've had worries or burnout, the wonderful people here have sustained me with prayer and friendship.
Regardless of your choice, you've found a really awesome group of people, I promise!
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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SeaStar
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We do have a true love of books at our house. I sit and read to the kids probably 1-2 hours per day (or more). I can't imagine giving that up... I see how much they learn just by soaking it up as I read. I know we could still have reading time if they went to school, but it wouldn't be the same, you know? It would all be about letting someone else decide what they read and when.
They are not in preschool, and already I feel the social pain of that... we are the oddballs in our neighborhood. I feel like I didn't have kids to send them away at 3, though, so I try not to care what other people think. I want to do what is best for my own family.
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stefoodie
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We prayed a lot about it, and there were a lot of signs that told us we needed to do it. And everytime we weighed the pros and cons, the pros always won out. I think you won't really *KNOW* until you take the plunge. Before we got started, I was so full of doubt. The CCM list was one of the first things that I got on and it helped me so much. From there, just so many things happened daily, even to this day, that convinces us more and more this was the right thing to do. But I do know it's still not for everyone.
Praying that you'll be able to make a decision soon.
God bless,
__________________
stef
mom to five
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Nina Murphy
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I'm sorry...! I got abruptly cut off mid-thought.
So, in doubtful times, it has been obedience to my husband that has been my moving force.
BUT having said all that, the underlying truths that have propelled me forward have been social---that their chance of keeping their Faith is much greater staying at home, their chance of keeping their purity longer is much greater, their exposure to the culture is put off and hopefully limited and the accompanying obsession with partaking of the fads is lessened; their hearts (and psychological development) are cushioned from the cruel blows of irresponsible, ill-mannered, ill-formed, disturbed, bullying peers and or staff (enough descriptive adjectives for you?  ), and they receive all of the benefits of the BEST hand-picked curricula, books, and methods (and God-picked "schoolmates").
I think you could sum it up in one word if you had to for me: purity. Keeping their purity.
For my husband, it is all about family bonding and partly social in that he had some awful school-experiences.
Homeschooling should not be a fear-based reaction (what I hear from critics concerning the fact that my husband and I have terrible memories and that influences our choices for our children) but rather a reality-based reaction! I have friends who admit they had to educate their 8 year-old, 9 year-old children about sex because they were hearing so much (didn't you at school?); friends who feel helpless to prevent the attachments from their young girls to the "IT" things like Britney Spears albums, and the fashions worn by the majority to occultish practices at slumber parties (which I experienced at my public school in the 70's). Back-talk and sassy attitudes and "phrases" picked up. Catholic or public. There doesn't seem to be much of a differentiation between the two (not in my husband's experiences in Catholic grade school or mine in public, and that was yeeeeeaaaaars ago).
And then our Faith. Let me give you an example. My son says at the Pool he gives "theology lessons" (HA!) because all of the boys from our local parish school do not know about needing to go to Confession and they look up to him! He says, "Mom: I know they're all Catholic, but how come they don't seem to really *care*?" (I'm sorry if this seems like a value judgment; forgive me. They may truly care deeply. This was his impression only.)
Also, one more illustration: my husband, who had his 20-year Catholic High Reunion this past weekend, attended a party with about 10 of the "guys" he considered friends in High School. He invited all of them to attend the Reunion Mass the next morning. None of them attend Mass anymore, they told him. NO ONE in his class had a large family or *understood* it----(who partook in the festivities). Do you see my point: these are the fruits of this establishment in this generation...the best of our top Catholic schools in this city. Where was the Catholic Faith formation for living out their vocations? Was it modeled to them? (My husband says the contrary: in fact homosexuality and liberalism was rampant, even with the students.)
But when we have our children at home, we are making the Faith number one. We are clarifying what the Church really teaches and reinforcing it day in and day out. And they are writing papers on Humanae Vitae! They are seeing their parents LIVE IT!! That is normal.
Now, this could all be true for a truly orthodox traditional school, like those run by the FSSP. (My parish is FSSP chaplained and has many large families who are truly embracing their Faith and are good influences on my children.) Living the liturgical year and being taught by holy priests IS possible, if you have access to a small, carefully run school like that. But they are rare. Possible, but rare. I just wanted to be fair, here. It's about the culture we are putting our children into. I am not necessarily against a very traditional "well-manned" school that wants to imbue my children's lives with Catholicism and living out the Liturgical year, run by like-minded religious. But I want to make sure the cultural immersion (which is what we choose no matter what school our children attend, even if it's our home-culture) is CATHOLIC and RESPECTFUL of purity and authority and SAFE for their hearts and minds.
So, to sum it up: the Faith and Purity. That's how we know! (But did I ever say it was easy?  )
__________________
God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Marybeth
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SeaStar,
My dh was all for homeschooling and talked about it on our 3rd date. At this point I knew I was getting married to him so I freaked b/c I soooo did not want to homeschool. God must laugh when I say never since I always wind up doing it!!!!
I am just taking it year by year. A priest at a homeschooling conference told us God gives us the grace to homeschool through our sacrament of marriage. He will not be undone with His kindness and mercy when we most need it.
Your life with your dc sounds wonderful~you will find much support here!!!
Marybeth
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Nina Murphy
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Oops...the Faith...and Purity...and OBEDIENCE.
__________________
God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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lapazfarm
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I know it is right because I look at what we do every day and I am sure I am giving my kids a much better education in so many ways than they would be getting at school.
You say you love teaching your children and they love learning. That doesn't have to end. Just keep doing what you are doing!
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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anniemm
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This is so interesting to me, that several of you have mentioned that you homeschool (originally) because of your husband's influence. It seems like every homeschool book I pick up these days discuss how to "talk him into it." My girls are very small yet (2 year old and 10 month old), but I plan on homeschooling. I was ademently (I don't say that lightly) againt the whole thing. I said I would *NEVER* do that, I would *NEVER* put my children in that postion (wow...lack of understanding much??). But, my sweet husband really wants to do it - and in many ways I have seen God calling me to it. My philosophy in stuff I don't want to do or don't understand is usually "fake it til you make it!" So, I dove in and read and talked and prayed. I *tried* being enthusiastic about it...and I came around. Now I'm very excited and I look forward to starting - though I have plenty of fears and shortcomings and feelings of inadequacy. Like someone said above, I think I can handle one day at a time. Not much more than that at this point though. lol
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Erica Sanchez
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I love and agree with everything Nina said above!
My first encounter with homeschooling of any kind was hearing families talk about it at an H.L.I conference that I attended years ago with a girlfriend. I was getting my teaching credential at the time and I thought it was THE CRAZIEST thing I had ever heard of!! Then I subbed and semi-taught in public schools and taught full-time in a Catholic school. Teaching in a Catholic diocesan school was the turning point for me. It was shocking and depressing. I couldn't imagine paying any amount of money to attend a school as wishy-washy as that. A talk by Steve and Karen Wood at another H.L.I. conference (I've been to several!) sealed the deal for us. Their talk was about all the positives of homeschooling. We're beginning our 7th year and I can honestly say we're in it for the long haul. Many, many days are totally lacking in what is considered a 'good' education by most, but I know in my heart that being together everyday, learning and loving together everyday, is far better, IMHO, than the very best Catholic school in San Diego.
Innocence, love of learning, love of siblings, love of life, the freedom....these are just some of the reasons we keep at it.
__________________
Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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Bridget
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We started hs'ing because my husband is a public school administrator. The garbage that goes on, among teachers, is apalling. He did not want our children formed by these people. (I know there are some good teachers and some good schools.)
Nina summed it up, it's about keeping them pure and teaching them the faith.
Honestly, I LOVE having them home. I love learning with them. I love the closeness of our family.
I would not trade our bad days for all the good days in a school. I think we are incredibly blessed to be able to do this.
__________________
God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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marihalojen
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SeaStar wrote:
| They are not in preschool, and already I feel the social pain of that... we are the oddballs in our neighborhood. I feel like I didn't have kids to send them away at 3, though, so I try not to care what other people think. I want to do what is best for my own family. |
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As far as social pain goes...look up a local homeschool group and there will be a ton of kids your children's ages. Always loads more littles than olders, you know.  We also have a local preschool group that meets one day a week at a local attraction/park and it is parents plus kids, not drop your kids off style. Perhaps there is something similar near you?
Also, visit your library during children's story hour to meet up with other book lovin' moms, they'll have lots of other invites to other local preschool programs. It's all about Networking, don't you know! 
__________________
~Jennifer
Mother to Mariannna, age 13
The Mari Hal-O-Jen
SSR = Sailing, Snorkling, Reading
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Willa
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My husband believed we should do it. I didn't take him seriously for two years... then as my faith strengthened, I saw things more and more his way and couldn't hold off any longer.
If it hadn't been him leading the way.... I think I still would have started having second thoughts about the whole school thing. We were attachment parents -- loved having our kids about us. School was such a break in that continuum from conception to infancy to toddlerhood. It affected not only the ones who went to school but the ones who were too little to go.
I have never been in the least convinced of my adequacy as a homeschool mom, except for very brief delusional moments that don't last long. So it's never about being naturally talented at it. People say, "I can't homeschool and/or have more kids! I'm not patient enough, not good enough with kids, not organized enough, not educated enough," etc. I'm not any of those things except perhaps I've acquired a bit of patience through the last 20 years -- would like to think so, anyway.
I don't even always fully "SEE" that it's the best thing for my kids. There have been times that I've homeschooled even thinking I was failing in doing what I most care about -- making a good life for my kids. Though every time I doubt it, God graciously sends me some sign that seems to confirm I'm on the right path. He is very good.
So I would say to turn your eyes to God -- make realistic comparisons between school and homeschool (not expect either one to be perfect, but weigh the advantages and disadvantages), and don't feel locked in "because you have to."
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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Nina Murphy
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Love that last line, Willa. We can't leave that one out. It's humility-truth to admit it...it keeps us honest.
__________________
God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Karen E.
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Like many others here, I didn't see myself as a homeschooler from the start. I just assumed we'd follow the beaten path of school, esp. since my husband teaches in public school.
BUT, God had other plans. He threw a few homeschoolers in my path. I got intrigued. I started to read, found some websites, posted questions. I asked things like, "How can I do this when I'm so old and so tired all the time?" Ha! I was 36 at the time, had one 3yo and one new baby. If you'd told me then that I'd end up committed to homeschooling, would have another baby at 42, and would juggle a little part-time writing in the mix, I would've run the other way.
Like you, though, I didn't want to give up that great snuggling, read-aloud time. It continues to this day ... we've been homeschooling for six years now, and we're still learning from all of our read-alouds.
Listen to your heart, to God in prayer, and keep conversing here. He'll lead you.
__________________
God bless,
Karen E.
mom to three on earth, and several souls in God's care
Visit my blog, with its shockingly clever title, "Karen Edmisten."
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SeaStar
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I want to thank you all so much for your open and honest responses. You have given me a lot to think about. I can see that it really is a matter of faith and trust- taking the plunge and starting out is a huge leap of faith.
I'm in an area where the public school system is ranked among the worst in the nation (perhaps you saw us on national TV this summer). I have two sisters who work in the school system, and just from what they tell me I know my kids are never going into public schools here. But I hear very mixed reviews, also, about the Catholic school in town. I know moms who have pulled their kids out. My neighbors all send their kids to the public schools and say they "love it". It's the social norm here to put kids in "preschool" as soon as they hit two. So between daycare, nannies (also very prevalent here) and "preschool", not many kids older than two are home a lot during the day. My neighborhood is like a ghost town.
My husband will pretty much go along with whatever I decide. I think he thinks I get little too worked up about the whole idea- he thinks the public schools can't really be that bad, the Catholic school must be fine... but he's not out there talking to other moms like I am, and he doesn't hear their stories.
Also, my ds has severe separation anxiety. I can't see him going willingly off to school without me. One of my sisters was that way- she cried every day for two weeks when she started school, but my mom made her keep going back. She never liked school and was at best an average student. I have a niece who is experiencing the same thing. I can't help but wonder- would they both have been better off learning at home?
I am going to continue to read, pray and keep tuned into these forums. I feel like I am being led to homeschool, which scares me half to death. It really is all about faith, trust and obedience, isn't it?
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Cici
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SeaStar,
My oldest is just 4.5, so nothing concrete to add - except for the preschool part. Already (already I say and my dd is just 4.5 - so young!) I get people looking at me like I have two heads when I tell them (usually b/c they ask) that we don't send her to preschool. She does go to a ballet/tap class once a week and I am very obviously the odd man out during the parent gab.
Ahh - but my daughter is so so sweet. So innocent still - I would never trade that for anything. And the cuddling time, the snuggling time we've had together. Walks, stories, chase, tea parties - priceless.
One other lady (mom to 4) in my neighborhood didn't send her kids to preschool (her kids go to public school now) once told me. "Good for you. They don't need school at that age. They don't even need friends. They need you. They want to be with mom right now." Pearls I've kept with me.
Good luck in your decision.
__________________
Christine - mom to 
My Sewing Blog
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SeaStar
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CiCi-
Thanks for your words. They really comforted me, another two-headed anomaly in this area. I can almost see the other moms moving away from me when I say that my kids are not in preschool and might never be.
My kids are also so sweet- happy and innocent and pure in ways that a lot of kids their ages seem to have lost already.
And it's funny, I go on as if the choice of where to school is all mine, when ds has made it very clear since birth that he is most comfortable at home and thrives here. The mention of school brings him to tears. He has mentioned to me several times already that he can have school at home. Maybe I should just listen to him and the Lord and stop all my agonizing already. 
I just found out today that a local church is having a big homeschool support conference next weekend- what timing! I am looking to find a local group, too. So, I am getting myself together. I can't thank everyone enough for their input.
God Bless
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: how did you know?
