| Author | |
KellyJ
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 29 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 598
|
| Posted: July 15 2006 at 10:08am | IP Logged
|
 |
|
I have been following the Elegant Simplicity, Culling Twaddle, and Long-Term Homeschooling threads with interest. I didn't want to take over any of those threads with this question, and it crosses over all three areas in its own way. Please forgive me if I should have posted it within one of those threads rather than as a new one.
In short, I feel like I am drowning in stuff: books (not just the children's), paperwork, toys, etc. I have long had high hopes and desires for elegant simplicity; but, haven't achieved it externally as far as our home goes, and the externals really effect my internals, if you know what I mean. It is pretty overwhelming and discouraging.
We have donated 200+ books over the past couple years, yet I still feel overwhelmed the amount we have and usually have a hard time trying to determine to keep and what to cull for children and adults alike. Plus, we have many years of homeschooling ahead of us, and I know that means more books, learning materials, paper, etc.
At least a couple times a year, I go through the toys and donate a bunch; but, the remaining ones seem to mulitply in no time.
And, then there is the ever present matter of paperwork: homeschool, bills, personal correspondence, and so on. We keep a portfolio selection of homeschool work, and usually recycle the rest at the end of the year. We try to recycle as much of the other paperwork as possible too.
So, while I try to keep on top of it all, I still feel oppressed by stuff. How do you strike the balance between having enough and over/under-doing it? How do you (or if just starting out, how are you planning to) create and maintain elegant simplicity in your home amidst all the stuff of daily life, of homeschooling, of your hobbies, etc.?
Thank you in advance for your thoughts on how I might be freed from the burden of stuff and create and maintain that elegant simplicity I've long desired for our home, for our family.
KellyJ
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Cay Gibson
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 16 2005
Location: Louisiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5193
|
| Posted: July 15 2006 at 10:27am | IP Logged
|
|
|
KellyJ wrote:
| In short, I feel like I am drowning in stuff: books (not just the children's), paperwork, toys, etc. |
|
|
Kelly,
You are not alone, dear.
I just spoke with a friend the other day. We were working out details for attending a local conference together the last weekend of the month. I offered to watch the baby for her so she could browse the curriculum tables and shop.
She told me (in your exact words) that they were "drowning in books over here" and not to allow her near the book tables. 
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lapazfarm
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 21 2005
Location: Alaska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6082
|
| Posted: July 15 2006 at 10:44am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am also going under! Not so much from books, as I seem to have gotten that under control, but just other junk-papers, toys, bills, miscellaneous space and energy sucking STUFF! That is why I am so interested in all these decluttering threads and simlpification and elegance, and all that. I think I have hit bottom and am ready for recovery! Sounds like you may be in the same place, mentally.
My advice (what seems to be finally working for me) is to start small. I started with one shelf (I kid you not!) in the bathroom and focused on keeping it clean, organized, and clutter free for a week. Then I added another small space (some shelves in my bedroom) then another. Now I am feeling like I can really do this! Looking at the big picture it can get overwhelming (while simultaneously caring for 6 children)but one small thing at a time it is not so bad. I am really dreading tackling my desk and all the paperwork, so I am not going to do that yet, as I feel I need a few more small successes to boost my confidence first.
I am nowhere near the simple elegance I want to be, but I do feel now that perhaps someday...
I hope this helps.
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Anne Marie M
Forum Pro
Joined: Feb 27 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 171
|
| Posted: July 15 2006 at 11:02am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Oh, what great timing. KellyJ, you described my house! (And I really understand the external reflecting the internal. . .)
I have books piled up in my hallway (sorted and awaiting homes on my too-full bookcases). Homeschooling things everywhere. And a missing insurance statement that's pretty important!
My motivation is renewed: We're getting new windows in about six weeks and I have to have an area in front of each window clear for the workmen to work. And carry on homeschooling/life in the midst! It won't be for more than a few days, but I know it will be much easier if I can declutter by then. (Oh, and get my oldest 2 to college, and deal with soccer camp, a science workshop, and two trips, etc.)
Hey, I'll pray for you guys if you pray for me! 
Anne Marie in NM
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Rebecca
Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 30 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1898
|
| Posted: July 15 2006 at 11:47am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Kelly, I think Theresa's idea about starting small is a sound one. It works best for me when I choose one room and try to declutter the entire thing before moving onto another room. Otherwise I get distracted. I do like Flylady's idea that if you don't LOVE the item, get rid of it.
I could really relate to Amyable's comment about feeling like you spend most of your day moving stuff from room to room. (I think that was Amy). Sometimes I feel like the devil keeps me distracted with the "stuff" of life so that I have no time for the important things (prayer, playin/reading with the children, etc.)
I am learning so much these threads as well. Keep it coming ladies!
Love,
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
tracym
Forum Pro
Joined: Nov 05 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 214
|
| Posted: July 15 2006 at 12:55pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Kelly,
I understand! I often feel like we are drowning- except lately I have taken small steps and feel much happier! I am working slowly and I thought I would do one area at a time but that is not what I am doing however it is working for me. Decluttering is a huge thing for me now and just looking around my house. I didn't even realize how much we had let go(not taking care of simple repairs, etc.) I love this topic. For me one of the biggest things in doing this has been an attitude change. Now I love working on cleaning my house-my family deserves it. It is my work! I never thought of it this way before and what a difference it makes to me!
So along with decluttering I am making a list of things I want to do in the house. This past week I painted our kitchen -just white and eventually I would love to do more but it went along with me cleaning out the hutches and getting rid of a lot of that clutter and cleaning the kitchen in general. Luckily we had paint in the house and it was kinda of a spur of the moment(day) decision but it made such a difference in me to do that for my family!
__________________
Tracy M- mom to Allen 12, Laura 9, Joeseph 7, and Anthony 4
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
KC in TX
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 05 2005
Location: Texas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: July 15 2006 at 11:20pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
What works for me is to pack it all up and move. Just kidding. Sort of. We've moved every 2 years or so in the past almost 10 years. This time it's voluntary as we are building a house (we hope we will stay in this one through retirement). Each time we move we do some serious culling and getting rid of stuff. Obviously since I have to keep doing it, I've not solved the actual problem just worked on the symptoms.
Anyway, now all our things are in storage and when we move in, I have some grand plans. Everyone on this forum has given some idea or thought to inspire me in some way. The elegant simplicity thread is so wonderful. I'm itching to get back to my own place.
__________________
KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
KC in TX
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 05 2005
Location: Texas
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: July 15 2006 at 11:21pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Adding that I did not give you one bit of advice.  Sorry. I do understand where you are though because that's where I was before I just packed it all up last month.
__________________
KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Donna
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 25 2005
Location: Pennsylvania
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1151
|
| Posted: July 16 2006 at 5:40am | IP Logged
|
|
|
KellyJ wrote:
| We have donated 200+ books over the past couple years, yet I still feel overwhelmed the amount we have |
|
|
Kelly,
Last month I was determined to begin decluttering before our new school year started. Seems I can't get much done while we are doing school, so I decided to work on it over the summer months. The best thing I did was begin selling my unused books and curriculum on e-bay. Without too much effort and within two weeks time, I had made nearly $400. Well...I am hooked. Not only am I getting out from under all the unused books...I'm making money to buy the curriculum needed for this year, or those ever needed lapbook supplies.
I also agree with Theresa to start small. Take one area that you know you can complete without too much effort and then move on to bigger things. It's a good feeling to have accomplished one small area. Start with 20 minutes a day...it's amazing what you can accomplish in that amount of time.
__________________
Donna
DH, Keven
Jason, Stevie, Marie, Jackson, Clara, and Aaron
Jacob, Sam, and Regina with God
Grandbabies Leigha and Elsie
Moments Like These
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
ALmom
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 18 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3299
|
| Posted: July 16 2006 at 12:11pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am a nostalgic person - saved erasure dust because it belonged to my best friend from grade school whom I didn't see again for many, many years. Unfortunately so are a number of my dc - So basically I can identify with this whole thread - and the time and difficulty of actually parting with the stuff. I understand saving family heirlooms and those things with real sentimental/memory attachments - but everything cannot fall into that category or you end up drowning in stuff!
I have the hardest time just chunking stuff - if I could have convinced someone to keep my erasure dust, I would have parted with it sooner. I had furniture from my deceased grandmother that was so junky and falling apart that no one else in the family wanted it - and I just wasn't ready to let it go, so I took it. Now both of these are finally gone - so there is some progress here. It does help to have a home - somewhere that you know someone will treasure the stuff you really need to part with. I did manage to finally get rid of some homeschool stuff and a kitchen table we had outgrown when I knew a particular family in need - when it was a real person with hardships, then I could no longer justify hanging on to something they could use, that was just sitting and cluttering up our house.
I'm in the re-looking at books mode now too and toys. Another thing we did - nostalgic dc that really wanted to save special toys they had outgrown for their own dc one day - we boxed them and put them in the attic or garage - or in underbed storage - but not out about the house. Everytime there is a new baby, we cull through the stored "baby" toys and get rid of more of it. The dc give each other and cousins, etc. "new" toys from their own treasures rather than purchasing items. We have also used grandma as a staging point - dc aren't quite ready to totally part with something, but it isn't so important that they really want to hang on to it - so we give it to my mom for her to store at her house for them. (We have a tacit agreement with my mom that she hangs on to it for about 2 weeks and then does whatever she sees fit with it - so dc have about 2 weeks to see if it really is missed and my mom sees if it is something worthwhile for entertaining grandkids. AT the end of 2 weeks, it gets donated if she doesn't really want it. My sis's also do this - and my mom is a saint to help us wean from our attachments.
One thing I've done to help me, is to have a 3 pile system as I sort - definitely go, throw away, and gee, I'm not sure but... I then quickly get rid of the definitely go, immediately box it and put it in the car for dh to take to Catholic Charities or wherever so none of us go back and have nostalgic moments.
The throw away is easy - or so it would seem, but my sis taught me to take videos of some of the dc work, so that we could go ahead and let go of it right away to avoid that much slower process of sorting through overwhelming piles of paper later. I've also learned that I don't need to save every piece of junk mail that comes in - or solicitation until dh has a chance to look at it - he gave me clear instructions to just chunk it - so I do immediately as it comes in.
The other thing that helps is that if I am organized during the school year, I have less piles of paper for the just in case I get challenged scenario. At the end of the year, it is pretty hard to go through 6 dc paperwork and chunk stuff. At that point, I tend to just store it all as the quantity is just too overwhelming. I just realized how much of this has happened over the years as we prepare our oldest to leave for college and I have mounds of stuff I no longer need for legal purposes - but I don't want to throw out all her precious projects, etc. But this years stuff was easier - it all ended in the trash except a few special things (all her papers are on the computer after all) which she made into her scrapbook. The rest of her stuff is still calling me from the garage and its just so large as to be overwhelming. Last year, we had notebooks for each child - that cut our paper stuff considerably and it was much more reasonable to store. I have a neat notebook/portfolio for each child with only samples of special work for each one, test scores, attendance records and my plan book - then I have tons less paperwork at the end of the year to worry about - and it could be stored neatly at the top of each child's own closet so I knew which stuff was for which child. We're not there yet - but getting better. It takes a long time going down memory lane - been better with less to look back at to start with.
Probably my most time saving and effective strategy was adding the pile of "I don't know yet" as this has made each general room in the house a bit more efficient to get done. I'm not taking hours re-reading my 2nd grade teacher's note trying to decide what to do with it. If I'm not yet sure I'm ready to part with this memoriabilia yet, but know I am not really using it and don't need it readily available, then I box it and postpone the decision while getting it out of the main storage/living area of the house (we put this stuff in bins in the garage or attic). Basically, I allow myself to experience the de-cluttered environment before making the final decision. Timewise, it is just more efficient for me to box it, move it and then I see the uncluttered room and am tons less likely to bring the things back in when we finally make it to the garage (haven't gotten there yet, but are working on it). Now I may be really, really sorry when we get to the garage - but so far one thing that I have found is that I have parted with more things doing it this way. I just get more attached to the lack of clutter and am either going to put it in an album or have some very specific use in mind before I bring it back in. Also I may hear of someone who needs whatever it is and remember I have just the thing in my garage. At that point, I have no trouble parting with it! 
For instance - it took me about 2 years after my grandmother's death before I was Ok with letting go of this piece of really falling apart, junky furniture - but in the 2nd year it was in the garage and not cluttering our living space like it did the first year (shoved underneath our computer desk waiting for a home and repairs). But if I'd have forced myself to make a decision the first year - I'd have taken twice as long to decide and because of my grieving process, probably would have held on to it. Letting it move elsewhere because we just hadn't decided what to do with it yet (I kept telling my dh "we" would repair it and bring it back in the house when we finished), meant less time wasted wrangling, while still getting it out of the living room that was already way overpacked! It did not come back in the house and I don't even remember where it ended up but we did get rid of it!!
The other thing I have been coming to is routine - if I just decided to get up a tad earlier, and then spent half an hour each day decluttering one area until it was done, we'd eventually get there. I am starting with the laundry room and oldest dd bedroom (she will be in college and we are moving the sewing/craft stuff in there as this is just off the school room but with a door that can be closed.) I have tons of craft books that I never use and only one dc with craft tendencies. I'm going to have her look at it all and go from there, while organizing craft supplies and sewing patterns and freeing up the laundry room so it is less of a mess all the time. Piles of laundry are bad enough but this is becoming a safety hazard with straight pins getting mixed in and showing up all over the house.
So I don't know if anything in all this is helpful at all. I'm really bad and very thankful you started this thread - maybe if I keep re-reading this post and everyones ideas, I'll be consistent enough to actually make significant progress. Thanks
Janet
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
ladybugs
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3732
|
| Posted: July 16 2006 at 12:16pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
ALmom wrote:
We have also used grandma as a staging point - dc aren't quite ready to totally part with something, but it isn't so important that they really want to hang on to it - so we give it to my mom for her to store at her house for them. (We have a tacit agreement with my mom that she hangs on to it for about 2 weeks and then does whatever she sees fit with it - so dc have about 2 weeks to see if it really is missed and my mom sees if it is something worthwhile for entertaining grandkids. AT the end of 2 weeks, it gets donated if she doesn't really want it. My sis's also do this - and my mom is a saint to help us wean from our attachments.
|
|
|
Janet,
Your mom sounds lovely.
__________________
Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Shari in NY
Forum Pro
Joined: Nov 23 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 358
|
| Posted: July 17 2006 at 7:00am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Yep, we are drowning in stuff here,too. And with three older kids (17,20,23) also living here I can't just go through and cull everything I would like to. We, also, moved alot in our early years together, 16 times in as many years but have been in this house for 15 years now and it has been hard years for the house!! However, while thinking about elegant simplicity yesterday I was reminded of how when I would visit a large household back in the days when mine was small I looked at cluttered houses as works of art in progress. It was wonderful to see all those projects, books,ect., laying about and have an insight into other families lives. It is more difficult to see in my own house  ....
Shari
Psalm 122:6
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Drowning in inelegant unsimplicity
