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knowloveserve
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| Posted: Aug 12 2013 at 10:51pm | IP Logged
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There is a speech club we really want our children to be in. I know the woman who runs it well and it's extremely well done. Because of the commute, it will cost our family about $75/month, but this cost is for all of our children (4 and up!) to be able to participate. This is outside of our homeschooling budget.
I've drafted up a letter to send to close family and friends asking for their sponsorship. I feel guilty, because we are going against the grain already in homeschooling our kids and I feel like some might think that "Well, that's a cost you chose to take on!" We've prided ourselves on never asking for help from my in-laws in particular, (MIL is a public school employee!) and I don't know if I want to start now. But without their help... we couldn't really make this happen.
But I phrased the letter in a really positive way... an opportunity for them to invest in the next generation of critical thinkers and courageous speakers in a world that desperately needs both.
When I examine our fundamental goals of what we want for our family, this is so perfect for us: logical thinkers, courageous and articulate speakers. Our world is in need of this.
Anyway, what do you think of think of the idea of begging for money to fund your extra-curriculars?
It's humbling and I'm willing to be humble. But I'm not willing to be shameless and I do feel a bit sheepish asking help for something non-essential in our life.
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Ellie
The Bleeding Pelican
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Erin
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| Posted: Aug 13 2013 at 5:19am | IP Logged
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If these are people who normally give birthday gifts/Christmas gifts, you could word the letter that perhaps they would like to do this in lieu of.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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Christine
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| Posted: Aug 13 2013 at 6:14am | IP Logged
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Sending a letter to family to ask for assistance in paying for a child's activity seems cold to me, and maybe a little desperate. If I were the grandparent or aunt/uncle, I would feel a little offended. My brother once asked me if my oldest son was doing any sports, when I told him that he wasn't because we couldn't afford it at the moment, he responded, "Well if you don't mind, I will send him x amount of money for his birthday and I want you to use it to sign him up for basketball." I had not intended for my brother to pay for an activity for my son, but I was thankful.
I think that Erin's suggestion is a good one. Let family members know by word of mouth, in a passing conversation, that you would like your children to participate in an excellent speech club, but can't afford it and would they be willing to help cover the cost as your children's birthday/Christmas presents.
For the last few years, my father-in-law has given me money to buy the children Christmas presents from him. This year, I am going to ask him if I can use the money to pay for a community center membership for a few months to a year (I still need to look into the cost). If I wrote to him and asked, he would say, "No way."
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Christine
Mommy to 4 girls, 5 boys, & 2 in God's care
Memories of a Catholic Wife and Mother
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SallyT
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| Posted: Aug 13 2013 at 7:05am | IP Logged
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I'd also do what Erin says -- we do have certain relatives (my mother in particular) who give "big" birthday or Christmas presents, especially to teenagers. Mom paid for my son to go on his Outward Bound expedition this year; she took my oldest daughter to Germany when she was 16 -- it's that kind of thing. She pays attention to what they're interested in, and she offers.
Or I mention that we're thinking of having X child do Y or Z activity, and if it's something she approves of (and that would not apply to a lot of what we do, though she has warmed up to homeschooling over the last ten years -- we can actually have a conversation about it without her offering to pay to send them to school), she might offer to help. But I don't raise the topic with that in mind. Usually we're thinking about something we could conceivably swing, or we wouldn't be thinking about it at all.
I am really grateful to her, but I would never ask her for money. A large part of this is my own pride. But another part is that these gifts come with strings attached, and they are weighted in favor of "broadening horizons" for these poor religious homeschooled kids. We are careful about what we say yes to, and evaluate thoroughly the readiness of a child to take on a given "privilege." Her help has made many things possible for the kids through the years, but . . . well, it is a "tread carefully" situation, and I am very leery of opening us up to saying yes to more than we meant to, if you know what I mean. It's one thing to be humble, but it's another thing to make your family vulnerable to criticism or interference because you've tacitly given someone else a little "ownership" of them.
That's my own personal view, based on experience of personalities involved in my own family situation. That's to say that what I do isn't a rule for what you do. But I would let this be a personal, word-of-mouth thing with people who do have an investment in your children. I would also talk it over with the children who will be involved, especially the older ones. What's their investment? Would they want their birthday money to go to this activity? If an aunt gave them $25, would they put it in the monthly kitty for speech club? Are they willing to do extra chores, save up allowance money, or whatever -- rake leaves for the neighbors -- to help with the monthly cost? (I know, if they get allowances, it's your money, but if they do get any money to spend as they like, it seems that if they wanted to do this activity, it could be part of their budget).
I know that with a class starting soon, you don't have the kind of save-up time that you'd have if a child wanted something like a Lego set (we do lots of saving up for Legos in our house), but I think that at least one angle I would explore is talking it over with the people who will actually benefit, in a privilege-responsibility way. Not the 4-year-old so much, obviously, but the older kids.
Anyway, I don't know. Maybe none of that is realistic, but it might be worth discussion with the kids. I would also be prepared not to do it, or at least to wait another year and make a family goal of putting some money aside to save up for it, if I couldn't think of a way to finance it without asking for help.
$.02, for what it's worth!
Sally
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Aug 13 2013 at 10:33am | IP Logged
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On the one hand, kids do all kinds of fund raising for activities of all kinds, but on the other hand, it's really hard to do fundraising as a family just for your own children.
Is there another part of your budget you could use? entertainment? vacation? dinners out?
Also, you might talk to the organization,explain your situation, get started and then head up a organizational fundraiser for "scholarships" for the kids that can't afford it otherwise. As part of the organization, you have a great deal more credibility and then it doesn't become about your personal finances as much as it does about supporting that organization. You could even look for grants and corporate sponsers and the like that way.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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knowloveserve
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| Posted: Aug 13 2013 at 11:06am | IP Logged
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These are all excellent thoughts, thank you! I'm especially sensitive to the idea of not opening ourselves to (more) criticism from certain family members. I need to think more about the directed birthday gift idea (they are all fall birthdays!) but for now, I need to look more at our budget...
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Ellie
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SeaStar
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I agree with all that has been said. It seems that many of us live in a world where our extended families are not supportive of homeschooling, and we've learned, sadly, that we have to be very careful.
Another thought- since you know the teacher well, would she be agreeable to some type of bartering? Maybe there is something your family could do for her in exchange for a lower tuition rate. Does she need any type of help-
timing speeches, organizing printed material- that you could provide?
Alternatively, what about a garage sale to help raise funds?
People are looking for winter clothing this time of year, plus toys and books for the holidays coming up. Maybe your family could have a garage
sale along with a bake/water/soda sale.
Jessica at Shower of Roses just posted about doing this- her sale was a big success. I think she did it over two days.
One thing you could do is ask friends and local family for anything they would like to donate to your sale. Most people will give something and are happy to have it off their hands without expecting money from the sale to be passed on to them. They are just glad to have the stuff gone!
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knowloveserve
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| Posted: Aug 13 2013 at 3:18pm | IP Logged
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A fundraising sale... I like that. 
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Ellie
The Bleeding Pelican
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SallyT
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I wouldn't think anyone would have a problem with kids fundraising for their speech club tuition *if* the kids are offering something -- some service, or some item (like a bake sale, even) -- for the money they're soliciting. There's a world of difference between just plain asking for money (either kids or parents) and doing actual fundraising, which involves work, initiative, and something "in it" for donors. I would think a lot of people would be sympathetic to a group of kids trying to raise their tuition money, where they wouldn't be if they were asked, cold, to "sponsor" them for the class. Relatives would buy things. Neighbors would hire cute kids to rake their leaves. And so on.
Ideas:
*garage sale
*bake sale
*trash-a-thon (solicit sponsors for every pound of trash picked up in the neighborhood)
*car wash
*leaf-raking
*Christmas craft sale
Basically, anything a youth group could do to raise money for a mission trip, kids in a family could do to raise money for a class, club, trip, etc. Typically a group fundraising for a particular goal would do several different fundraisers throughout the year, too. Our AHG troop sold gourmet lollipops -- they were unbelievably cheap to buy (which was good, because our troop was broke), and so big and nice we sold them for a dollar apiece for months and months, until we were finally sold out. It was a great fundraiser and very easy, and I don't see that selling lollipops for AHG is really significantly different, or more "honorable," than selling lollipops, or something else, to participate in speech club.
Just some thoughts!
Sally
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Erin
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Mmm and that's got me thinking, if children have to really work for their activity, they are really going to appreciate it and make sure they get the 'most out' of it.
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Erin
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pumpkinmom
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We pay for scout by recycling money. We have family members who gladly donate bags of cans (who would normally take them in for money themselves) because they feel like they are donating without having to write out a check. I feel better about it because I'm not asking for cash donation. We even had a couple of relatives give us "junk" that was recyclable. Our recycling center takes office paper and pays for it. If anyone works in an office they may be able to collect many pounds of that. A private business would be happy to donate. Having the kids to chores for family members and get paid. Just some family fundraising that has worked for us.
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Cassie
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SallyT
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Oh, that's a great idea! Do all recycling centers pay? We have curbside recycling in our town, but if we could collect stuff to take somewhere for *money,* boy oh boy, would we do that!
Off to research this possibility.
I know our Scouts have collected printer ink cartridges to take for recycling as a fundraising project.
Sally
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SallyT
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Double yes to what Erin says, too. And I agree, people are far more willing to save cans or whatever to give to kids to help with a project -- again I think because they're seeing that the kids have initiative, rather than simply expecting to have things paid for. That make a huge difference.
Sally
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pumpkinmom
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SallyT wrote:
Oh, that's a great idea! Do all recycling centers pay? We have curbside recycling in our town, but if we could collect stuff to take somewhere for *money,* boy oh boy, would we do that!
Off to research this possibility.
I know our Scouts have collected printer ink cartridges to take for recycling as a fundraising project.
Sally |
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No, not all pay. Of course, metal materials are different. I prefer to take them to the slightly less dirty recycling center, but scrap yards will pay for metal too. We have a place that pays for nothing but metal. The other one pays for everything. We have taken electronics, plastic, clothes, batteries, cell phones, laptops, motors, etc. They can be picky and sometimes it depends on who helps you. Some batteries they pay for others they will take and not pay for it. The same with electronic equipment and plastics. They don't pay a lot for this stuff and you really need a vehicle full to make it worth it. We live about 20+ minutes away so we need to take a lot to make it worth the drive.
We are getting curbside recycling in the next couple of months, but we will still take cardboard and paper in to get paid. Plastics are big to store and don't bring in enough, so those will go curbside along with magazines and newspaper.
Last summer our neighbor got a new roof and the crew just piled up the gutters and metals pieces in her yard. She let us take all of it and we had to go through and remove all the nails and we took it in. We look for opportunities like that. My husbands picks up cans at every meeting we attend to save. It adds up, but it takes time.
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Cassie
Homeschooling my little patch of Ds-14 and Ds-10
Tending the Pumpkin Patch
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Savvy or Shameless?
