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JennGM
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| Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 10:00am | IP Logged
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This is connected with my prayer request. My friends lost their baby daughter, only 6 days old.
What are some good ways to reach out and comfort the family? They have young boys, and they live in a few towns over, so it's not the easiest to bring them meals.
Plus, she was nursing, so this will be a transition in drying up.
What kind of things can you suggest?
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Jennifer G. Miller
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Christine
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| Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 10:35am | IP Logged
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Jenn, as I mentioned on your blog, I am praying for the family.
These probably go without saying, but send the family a card and have a Mass offered for them.
When I miscarried at 19 weeks, a friend waited until spring to give me a rose bush. Each year, that rose bush produces 3 roses. The rose in my avatar is a picture of one of the rose's blossoms. Considering baby Maria's name, a rose bush might be the perfect gift to help bring comfort.
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Christine
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JennGM
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Yes, I was thinking about the rose. I had a long conversation with the mother last night, and she was telling me the story of her name. The older son (7) said she looked like a little rose, and her hands looked like a rose, so he insisted on the name and calling her Mary Rose. 
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Jennifer G. Miller
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JodieLyn
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Listen, she will probably want to talk about it more than many will want (or be able to) listen to. Having someone who remembers and will listen can mean a lot. Every holiday is going to be hard because someone is missing. Her birthday followed by the anniversary of her death will be hard. Remembering and just sending a note (even an email) saying you remember and are praying for her will mean a lot.
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Christine
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| Posted: Dec 06 2012 at 10:57am | IP Logged
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Quote:
Yes, I was thinking about the rose. I had a long conversation with the mother last night, and she was telling me the story of her name. The older son (7) said she looked like a little rose, and her hands looked like a rose, so he insisted on the name and calling her Mary Rose. |
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Oh, I am crying. May our Blessed Mother bring comfort to Maria Rose's parents, her brothers, and all who know them. 
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Christine
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CrunchyMom
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JodieLyn wrote:
| Listen, she will probably want to talk about it more than many will want (or be able to) listen to. Having someone who remembers and will listen can mean a lot. Every holiday is going to be hard because someone is missing. Her birthday followed by the anniversary of her death will be hard. Remembering and just sending a note (even an email) saying you remember and are praying for her will mean a lot. |
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Yes, my mother always recorded these dates on the calendar, and then, she would do something like deliver a pie on the anniversary, providing comfort when most had moved on.
In the short term, if you can't deliver a meal, a gift card for take out can be nice.
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Betsy
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I know for me I like to have spiritual things around when I am in crisis. I might recommend a special religious medal on a necklace or bracelet that can be worn to bring comfort. Or a small picture of Mary that can be looked at often.
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Pilgrim
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This little statue is something I have wanted for a couple of years now(requested it for Christmas this time) to remember our baby lost by miscarriage, I think it would make a nice gift for someone who lost a baby. Someone else mentioned in the reviews that they gave it as a gift to a loved one who had lost a baby. Praying for your friends! I'm sure it means a lot to them to have such a good friend supporting them, and ias mentioned before if you remember their little one with them each year, that will mean a lot too, to know that their sweet baby is not forgotten means a lot.
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cathhomeschool
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A meal gift card is a help. The rose bush is a lovely idea. I think that trying to be there to listen when you can will help more than anything. I have a friend whose baby died several years ago and it is such a comfort when her friends call and send cards around the birth and death anniversaries. (I have the dates in my google calendar.) Many people don't understand why it's still hard and so they don't want to talk about it.
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AmandaV
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Jenn, I've been meaning to come back and answer you for the last week but illness derailed me. Several months after my friend's 11 month old died in April, she posted an article about ministering to the grieving. Here are some points she made.
- There are no right words. Keep it simple and just be yourself. Don't worry about making them cry because the tears are there anyway.
- It is nice to ask how you can help the family, even make suggestions like can I set up a meal schedule or can we mow your lawn for you?
- Stop by to drop off useful items such as toiletries or pantry foods/snacks
-Sending cards/ emails /phone call just to say I'm here for you but let them know that no reply is needed.
- Don't avoid them, reach out.
I'll find out if I can post the article or send you a link.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Comforting a Family in Their Loss
