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Leocea
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| Posted: Aug 06 2012 at 8:08am | IP Logged
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I have been reading my The Better Part devotion book, and I am wondering how all of you interpret this regarding friendships.
For instance, when I start to get frustrated in a friendship, it is usually because I am thinking more of myself than the friend. If this is a small thing, it wouldn't be a big deal. I tend to have anxiety though, and then I ruminate on it, which causes me to lose focus in my daily vocation as a wife and mother.
I am doing this now, and while I care a lot for the friend in question, the interactions are causing me so much stress that my husband thinks I should stop talking to the person for a while. I start to overthink this, though, and worry that perhaps God has placed this person in my life for me to learn self forgetting love, and denial of self. Maybe I am supposed to help them come to Him. How can I do this if I don't have contact, because it is frustrating to me?
I used to spend a LOT of time on the phone with my friends, and my mother always spent tons of time with friends, both of which have led me to spend much more time with my dh and kids than with my own friends. I prefer this, and wonder if I am being selfish.
Sigh. How do you discern what is best????
Right now, I am 33 weeks pregnant, exhausted honestly, and whiny. I have gestational diabetes, and am adjusting to that. My father in law is visiting from out of state and living in my living room. We had a yard sale all day Saturday, with friends here, and it was a BAD idea. I was SOOOO grouchy, and my words and thoughts were anything but Christ-like. I regret it later when I get this way, but I wonder if I should just step back and focus on getting baby here safely, going to my twice weekly appointments, and preparing for school. Forget the rest, and let God take care of it?
This baby is a boy, and after losing Cameron last year, my emotions are so raw. I am not a crier, but I find myself up and down almost daily, blessed that God would give us another son, and scared that it just won't happen.
Please give me your best words of encouragement!!!!
Edited to add: My frustrations during the yard sale had to do with my own insistance of making gallons of homemade chili and homemade salsa, then feeling miffed when noone helped or even offered to. I did NOT do it with love, as I had intended, and my witness to my girls wasn't of a giving servant, but a whiny martyr!!
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Your sister in Christ,
Leocea, wife to Ken, mom to KC 22, Caitlin 17, Malea 13, Mary Catherine 10,Elina Rose,6,Andrew,3 and Lauren Celine,1. Angels 5/05, 5/08, 2/11 and Cameron 7/26/11.
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3ringcircus
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| Posted: Aug 06 2012 at 8:28am | IP Logged
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Is it possible you are just overthinking this? My old spiritual advisor used to say that when you are doing God's work, you will feel a sense of peace. Maybe you need to pare down as much as you can so that you can be quiet, listen to his guidance, and get some peace & clarity. I'm sure this will benefit your physical health, as well. I'm inclined to agree w/ your DH about the friend.
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Christine
Mom to my circus of boys: G-1/06, D-1/04, S-4/10
Started HS in Fall'12
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drmommy
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| Posted: Aug 06 2012 at 8:50am | IP Logged
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I personally agree with your husband. My husband can see so many things with so much clarity.
That being said, I am in the process of "less is more" with friends, as sometimes friends can demand so much of our time. A GOOD friend will not demand, or whine that you do not spend so much time with them. I had found myself going for "coffee" sometimes 2 or 3 times per week with friends, and it turned out that THEY were lonely, and I was there to "help" them. In the meantime, schooling and chores suffered, and I was stressed. I had to sit back and think about what my priorities were in life and with God. I do know a lot of women who love to go out for a "break", and then complain that their chores or schoolwork were not done. I was one of those women. After much discernment, I considered very carefully my schedule first and talked things over with my husband. Less is more, and it has shown in my attitude and stress levels. Yours in Christ, Bridget
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lapazfarm
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Joined: July 21 2005
Location: Alaska
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| Posted: Aug 06 2012 at 9:14am | IP Logged
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Though God certainly does ask us at times to serve our friends, our first responsibility is always to our husband and children. Serve them first, and once they are cared for, if you have the time and energy and feel called, then serve your friends. If, however, you find that it is causing stress in your primary duties to husband and children, then you have to let the friend thing go.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Topic: Friends, relationships, and self forgetti
