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pumpkinmom
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I really enjoyed connecting with family and friends, especially those that I don't get to see very often. And it is a great way to keep track of blogs I like to read and businesses that I want to know when things are on sale. But, it comes with so much negative stuff. I have some family and friends that I really don't want to know about the stuff they post. It has changed my opinion on many people in a bad way. It really has changed my usually positive attitude into a negative one that causes me to think the worse of people. I know you can hide people, but that came back to bite me. So, I went a little further and unfriend half of my friends. After I did that I realized that people are going to figure out what I did and ask questions. So, I deactivated my account. Withdrawals? Yes, I miss knowing what is going on. Do I try to forget all about it, or do I go back in and slim down my friend list a little more? I am very confused about this!
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Cassie
Homeschooling my little patch of Ds-14 and Ds-10
Tending the Pumpkin Patch
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knowloveserve
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I got off entirely. It was a huge distraction and time suck for me. I live a few hours from all my family so I miss out on a lot... and I miss that, I do. But the trade off to live a more quiet, hidden life is worth it. Facebook is a performance and I bought into it... Trying to think of clever or beautiful things to post on my status. Editing my life to appear a certain way. It feeds narcissism in even the best of us.
I do miss the small contact with family members that I hardly speak to otherwise... But it was a frail and superficial connection. I've since redoubled my commitment to writing real letters to loved ones and to let friendships that would've faded off naturally... fade off. It's part of life's cycle.
I read a phenomenal, must read book called Alone Together: Why we expect more from technology and less from each other that prompted me to write a huge essay on this concept...
Bottom line is that Facebook is not in and of itself a bad thing. It can be a good tool for some people. But I am not content with what it brings out in myself or others and it does more harm than help for me personally to get to Heaven. When I look at the kind of lifestyle I want for myself, it includes more meaningful, real life interactions and presence... and less online people watching. But many good, people disagree with me and I'm okay with that. I realize that it's a huge battle to dig my heels in against the way the world is going. Maybe my resistance is ridiculous and self-serving and impractical... but until God shows me otherwise, it's a fight I'm willing to fight.
Best wishes in your discernment.
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Ellie
The Bleeding Pelican
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Erica Sanchez
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I have dug my heels in, too, Ellie, so I don't think you are ridiculous. :) You said what I think so much better than I could have. And, like you, some of my dearest friends love it and that is okay. I would like to read that book.
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: July 09 2012 at 1:57pm | IP Logged
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pumpkinmom wrote:
| I really enjoyed connecting with family and friends, especially those that I don't get to see very often. And it is a great way to keep track of blogs I like to read and businesses that I want to know when things are on sale. But, it comes with so much negative stuff. I have some family and friends that I really don't want to know about the stuff they post. It has changed my opinion on many people in a bad way. It really has changed my usually positive attitude into a negative one that causes me to think the worse of people. I know you can hide people, but that came back to bite me. So, I went a little further and unfriend half of my friends. After I did that I realized that people are going to figure out what I did and ask questions. So, I deactivated my account. Withdrawals? Yes, I miss knowing what is going on. Do I try to forget all about it, or do I go back in and slim down my friend list a little more? I am very confused about this! |
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My husband restricted his friend list to relatives. This way, he can still see baby pictures and engagement announcements from nieces and nephews, but it isn't the draw it was.
My sister unplugged completely.
I would be tempted to, but it is the only ready form of communication I get with my dad. I only see him once a year, neither of us are phone people, and we've always talked about "stuff" more than "life." So, an exchange under an article is more natural than my trying to chat with him about my new housekeeping schedule  My sister happens to live close to my dad, and they all "text" a lot, but I don't have a cell I use like that (only an emergency "go" phone for on the road).
Anyway, I think you can heavily edit your friend list without worrying too much about offending people. Some might be miffed at first, but honestly, they probably won't think of it again after a few weeks and will forget you were ever on Facebook.
I too would like to read the book you recommend, Ellie!
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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misswallo
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I could have written this exact post. I have an on again off again love affair with Facebook. I've been on again for about 3-4 months since my twin brother and his wife just had twins in March and I wanted to see pictures since we live so far away. But I find myself getting disgusted with my facebook friend with things they post, which is not a good thing on my part. When I was off I found that I didn't miss it like I thought I would.
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Missy-married in 1997 dd(99) dd(01) dd(04) dd(06) ds(09) and ds(12)
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organiclilac
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I still love FB, but I decided to be very brutal about the people I "unsubscribe" from. I didn't unfriend them, so they can still see what I post if they want to, and I can still pop over to their wall if I want to make sure I haven't missed anything important, but they don't show up in my news feed. Doing this has really streamlined my FB experience - it takes me much less time to catch up, and I mostly only see what I want to see.
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Tracy, wife to Shawn, mama to Samuel (4/01) and Joseph (11/11), and Thomas (2/15)
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stefoodie
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Really depends on how you use it. 90% of my cousins from all over the globe are on it (and I grew up with 37 of them, and loved spending time with them until I was 18!) plus aunts, uncles, etc. There's no way you could get us together the way we do now on FB, just too many separate lives, jobs, families, etc.
High school classmates? Eh. Not so much. I've unfriended or blocked quite a number of them. Anytime I see an inappropriate/offensive post, it's goodbye.
And then there's my pro-life work -- 95% of which is dependent on FB discussion (we have a closed group) -- that's where we share data, ideas on evangelization, strategies, prayer requests, etc. Without FB we probably wouldn't be the force and support group we are to each other, and we probably wouldn't have the reach that we have.
That said, I pull out every now and then to regroup and refocus.
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stef
mom to five
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pumpkinmom
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| Posted: July 09 2012 at 2:54pm | IP Logged
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As usual, you all have wonderful insight. Everyone is right in what they say and I agree with it all. I guess that is why I am struggling.
Lindsay, I know how you feel about communication with your dad. Facebook was how I keep in touch with my brother and his family. Neither of us like to talk on the phone with each other and facebook made it easy. I saw him over the weekend and he was understanding, but this is the main reason I feel the need to go back.
Ellie, You did a great job of describing my feelings about the effect of facebook on me.
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Cassie
Homeschooling my little patch of Ds-14 and Ds-10
Tending the Pumpkin Patch
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JennGM
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I have never had a Facebook account. Dh was against it for privacy reasons, and over time I've realized it would take up too much of my time. I already struggle with balance with computer time. 
There are times when I miss on information or chatting with people, but you know, that's okay. I don't need to be part of every conversation or know all the info about family. The important things still funnel down face-to-face with other family members.
And if someone wants to contact me, I'm still here as a person with phone numbers, house address and email. I'm not a Luddite, just don't do it the "easy" way on FB.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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Kathryn
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I just unsubscribe as well from the people I don't want to see updates on and I am very, very particular about "friend" requests.
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Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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CatholicMommy
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One thing too about "unfriending" someone - they don't get any notification about it. The only way they'll know is if they notice they are no longer seeing your status messages and they go to visit your profile and can't see it. Or they monitor the number of friends they have.
And those on my friend list who would notice my lack of status message and do that - are the ones I typically want to keep (they're the ones will CALL me to see if everything's ok); the ones that are just paying attention to their numbers of friends and notice a decrease by 1 are few and far between - and definitely NOT the ones who have the typical personality of friends of mine anyway.
So don't worry about de-friending! Chances are VERY good, they won't even notice! Or that they will even say anything about it.
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Garden of Francis
HS Elementary Montessori Training
Montessori Nuggets
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cheesehead mom
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I like the 'unsubscribe' option too. That way you can still check in with someone via a message or whatever but you do not need to see their daily newsfeed.
Laura
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kristinannie
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| Posted: July 10 2012 at 11:48am | IP Logged
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knowloveserve wrote:
I got off entirely. It was a huge distraction and time suck for me. I live a few hours from all my family so I miss out on a lot... and I miss that, I do. But the trade off to live a more quiet, hidden life is worth it. Facebook is a performance and I bought into it... Trying to think of clever or beautiful things to post on my status. Editing my life to appear a certain way. It feeds narcissism in even the best of us.
I do miss the small contact with family members that I hardly speak to otherwise... But it was a frail and superficial connection. I've since redoubled my commitment to writing real letters to loved ones and to let friendships that would've faded off naturally... fade off. It's part of life's cycle.
I read a phenomenal, must read book called Alone Together: Why we expect more from technology and less from each other that prompted me to write a huge essay on this concept...
Bottom line is that Facebook is not in and of itself a bad thing. It can be a good tool for some people. But I am not content with what it brings out in myself or others and it does more harm than help for me personally to get to Heaven. When I look at the kind of lifestyle I want for myself, it includes more meaningful, real life interactions and presence... and less online people watching. But many good, people disagree with me and I'm okay with that. I realize that it's a huge battle to dig my heels in against the way the world is going. Maybe my resistance is ridiculous and self-serving and impractical... but until God shows me otherwise, it's a fight I'm willing to fight.
Best wishes in your discernment. |
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This is a beautiful post and I could not agree more. You might have just convinced me to delete my account.
__________________
John Paul 8.5
Meredith Rose 7
Dominic Michael 4.5
Katherine Elizabeth 8 months
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Erica Sanchez
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| Posted: July 10 2012 at 8:10pm | IP Logged
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stefoodie wrote:
| And then there's my pro-life work -- 95% of which is dependent on FB discussion (we have a closed group) |
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Oh, I didn't know this was possible. Can I create a group of say, my siblings and their children, and that's it? It's private as in no one else can 'see'?
Lissa has explained this to me along with Google Plus, but I'm a slow learner.....
__________________
Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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stefoodie
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| Posted: July 10 2012 at 9:36pm | IP Logged
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Erica Sanchez wrote:
| Can I create a group of say, my siblings and their children, and that's it? It's private as in no one else can 'see'? |
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Oh yes, very possible. Both our family group and my pro-life group are "unfindable" on FB, even if you knew the names. But caveat emptor: I don't trust FB 100%, and esp. with the recent EO on communications systems....
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stef
mom to five
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Angie Mc
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Cassie, just mentioning that I really enjoy social media but I'm not on Facebook. It's less of a moral or philosophical choice than a realistic one. I just don't work well on that platform.
I do better here (message board) and on twitter. My teens and friends catch me up on mutual Facebook connections. Can your friends just catch you up from time to time?
Try not to feel pressured to participate in something that doesn't work for you. Find stuff that does!
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Can we talk about facebook?
