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Rebecca
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 5:51pm | IP Logged
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I am going through my "post baby" frustration with myself that happens after each child. When the baby is a bit older (now 5 months), I no longer feel that I have an excuse to not take time for myself. I only have four children but am having such a hard time adjusting to this one, not because she is a difficult baby (quite the opposite-she is very happy and content) but because I do not seem to be able to get back on schedule, into the routine of our regular life. My appearance is suffering the most. I am not vain but do like to look clean, cute and dressed modestly stylish. I do not need clothing suggestions right now as I have a fair number of choices of clothing. My questions deal with hair, makeup and the like.
Here are my specific questions for you all (for give me that some are personal--feel free to ignore those that are at all inappropriate  ):
Do you wear makeup every day?
Do you wear your hair long or short and if you prefer it a certain way, why?
If you are old enough to have grey hair, do you color it? At home or in the salon?
How much time do you spend on personal appearance in general each day?
Those of you with little ones, do you find it easier to wake up before the children to bathe or shower or wait until they are asleep?
I really appreciate any insight or tips you can give me on how you find time for your appearance.
God Bless,
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Donna Marie
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 6:22pm | IP Logged
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~Do you wear make up every day?.....Make up??  What is make up?
~Do you wear your hair long or short and if you prefer it a certain way, why?
I have long hair...I love to wear it down and picked up on the sides...it is easy for me to care for...why? Because it is very curly and looks great hanging down and it will do whatever it wants to anyways so this is the best way I can do it! 
~If you are old enough to have grey hair, do you color it? At home or in the salon?
Yes, I do have grey and I am not old enough to have it. I do not color it...it isn't that bad yet, but why hide all that wisdom coming in??
~How much time do you spend on personal appearance in general each day?
UMMM..as little as possible...I try to start the day with a shower and dress in neat but comfy clothes...something that wears well and is easy to care for...I never know when I will have to bolt out the door after an escaped toddler and I want to *LOOK* like I have it all together even if I kinda don't
~Those of you with little ones, do you find it easier to wake up before the children to bathe or shower or wait until they are asleep?
I usually take a shower first thing while the kids are getting up but too sleepy to get into trouble...I do have 12yo twin dds to keep an eye on things and they tell me EVERYTHING...so I feel ok with that...I don't know what I used to do before they got responsible!!
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God love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 9dc!!
Finding Elegant Simplicity
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SaraP
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 6:37pm | IP Logged
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Do you wear makeup every day?
No. I've never really worn makeup beyond a little lipstick for church, dates, etc.
Do you wear your hair long or short and if you prefer it a certain way, why?
My hair was very short when my first was a baby and I will never have short hair and a baby at the same time again! Short hair MUST be washed (or at least wet down) every morning or it sticks up in all directions; longer hair can go in a ponytail or clip and still look presentable even if it hasn't been washed. Short hair also needs to be cut every other month or so or it starts looking pretty shaggy; long hair can go a long time between trims and still look fine.
If you are old enough to have grey hair, do you color it? At home or in the salon?
I'm just starting to have more than a few greys and I haven't decided whether I will color or not, but I'm leaning towards not.
How much time do you spend on personal appearance in general each day?
Maybe half an hour in the bath in the evening (which doubles as 'down' time) and five minutes in the morning.
Those of you with little ones, do you find it easier to wake up before the children to bathe or shower or wait until they are asleep?
After they are asleep.
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Mama to six on earth, two in heaven and two waiting in Russia. Foxberry Farm Almanac
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Meredith
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 7:09pm | IP Logged
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Yes on the make-up, but only because it helps me feel more put together to start my day. I get up with baby as he sleeps with me, then he'll play in his crib or exersaucer while I shower.
My hair is long anf I do put it up alot, especially if I don't have time yo wash it. ( no gray yet, thankfully)
I only freshen up a bit before dinner or if we go out for an activity.
My shower is always in the morning or I don't usually get one!
Don't be too hard on yourself, you're still in the newer baby phase, it'll go by quick enough, try to enjoy each day my dear!!
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Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
Sweetness and Light
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Mary Chris
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My youngest is 6 but I still struggle with this.
I don't wear makeup everyday but I would like to. My problem is in the summer I look like an Irish Washerwoman and makeup just melts right off. I do have Bare Minerals so I will stick with that through the summer and see how it works. I don't always get it on in the morning.
I wear my hair about mid neck length. I try to blow dry it everyday, but I also to get a wash and wear cut. I just got it cut and styled this evening so it looks good which makes me want to go buy new makeup. I miss my hair sylist in San Diego so much, I have not found one I really like here. I usually end up going to Hair Cuttery which is fine, but not the salon experience I used to enjoy. I really need to get my haircut more frequently. I think a nice hairstyle makes you look put together.
So far I am not gray but if I go gray soon I will probably color it.
I don't spend much time on my personal apperance. I would like to look pulled together but frequently do not pull it off.
When mine were younger I would let them watch some PBS while I showered. When they were really little I would put them in the bathroom in the exersaucer while I got ready.
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Blessings, Mary Chris Beardsley
mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 7:14pm | IP Logged
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I don't have any suggestions, as I am feeling pretty frumpy-dumpy myself lately, and I don't have a baby as an excuse. So, I am looking for suggestions here, too.
I only wear make-up if going out, and then only minimal
I have long hair, usually in a ponytail, but I have a hankering to cut it lately. I still want it long enough to ponytail, however, for the reasons Sara shared.
At age 39 I am starting to see my first greys come in. So far I yank 'em. I doubt I will color when the time comes.
I spend maybe 30 minutes daily on appearance.
I have not found a good time to shower, yet. I am NOT a morning person, so can rarely manage to get up before dd, (my little morning glory). And at night sometimes I am just too tired to want to shower. So I kinda switch between the two.
Sometimes I shower midday when dd is napping and ds is reading. That way I at least look presentable when dh comes home, and it energizes me for the afternoon and evening tasks.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
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Diane
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 7:17pm | IP Logged
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Rebecca, I've seen your photos on A Gypsy Caravan, and I thought you looked beautiful, not one bit frumpy. Don't trust mirrors---they lie---better to ask your dh, particularly after you've fed him a really great meal or rubbed his back for a while. I know how you feel, but motherhood truly does have a natural beauty all its own, and you've got it. Me personally, I'm going for the tired look.  (probably because I'm staying up all night reading the RL blogs)
As for your questions:
I rarely wear make-up, never have, except if I'm going out at night, which is why it is rarely. My dh prefers that I never wear it.
I have worn my hair many different lengths, but for now it is long with lots of layers. My dh likes it better short, but I figure I'll have plenty of years for that once I'm (really) old. And I have to get it cut much less often when it's long. For me, it's best to wear a style that requires very little input. Thankfully, those styles are "in" these days.
I have a just a few gray strands, not enough to notice, and I'm not sure what I'll do when the time comes. I come from a long line of women who colored their gray, but I know dh would prefer me to keep it natural. (He's so predictable, isn't he? But then so am I, in not yielding to his preferences, I've noticed in writing this post.  )
I spend very little time on personal appearance, too little probably, unless you count my showers which are too long. I find it works best to shower either before the kids get up or before I go to bed---once they are up, it is really tough to make it into the bathroom. One thing after another pops up and someone always needs me for something, and before I know it, it is 11:30am and I'm outside in my pajamas taking pictures of wild turkeys.  It really helps me to be prepared to face the troops when they arise---my worst days happen when I stay up too late and they get up before me.  Tomorrow may be one of those days.
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Peace,
Diane
Mom to five fair lasses and one bonny prince
The Journey of a Mother's Heart
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Meredith
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 7:23pm | IP Logged
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Diane, your post has me ROTF !! You really should start a blog!! No pressure here though
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Meredith
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Dawn
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 7:44pm | IP Logged
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Diane wrote:
| One thing after another pops up and someone always needs me for something, and before I know it, it is 11:30am and I'm outside in my pajamas taking pictures of wild turkeys. |
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Diane, I just read this out loud to my husband and we are both HOWLING with laughter!!! 
Yes, I was quite a sight to be seen out there this morning! But I think the neighborhood knows to expect this kind of thing from me now. (Did I ever tell you my kids call me the Banshee when it comes to protecting little defenseless backyard critters from the local predators? )
So now that I've painted that lovely picture of myself ... here are my answers to your questions, Rebecca!
Light makeup every day.
I keep my hair above my shoulders, a bit layered. I like it this way because my hair will curl a bit when kept shorter.
Yikes, I do have a few grays! Occasionally I have my mum add a semi-permanent color matching my own (dark brown) color.
I'd say I spend about 20-30 minutes, on my appearance (Unless I'm just going to be running around in the backyard saving wild turkeys in which case I don't bother to change out of my Lanz. )
My littlest gets up at 4 or 5 every day,  so I try to shower before dh leaves for work. Othewise I have my oldest (10) watch the others while I take a *lightning-fast* shower. As often as I can I take a long bath at night after supper.
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Dawn, mum to 3 boys
By Sun and Candlelight
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Jenny
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 7:46pm | IP Logged
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I rarely wear makeup. So much so that a few years back, a priest asked if we were going to a wedding? "Ummm, no" I answered. He just thought we had some special event planned b/c I was wearing lipstick
No grays. My hair was almost mid back but 6 weeks after new baby, I went in for my
"post partum" hair cut. The women at church call a hair cut w/in 4 months of a new baby the "postpartum cut". It is now just below chin level in long layers. It does look good when I use the straightener. Alot of days though, I just pull the sides back. My hair has alot of wave to it.
I have been trying to wear skirts more b/c I look & feel more put together when I do. I wear some pretty flip flops too. Otherwise, I'd be in sweats or shorts & tennies.
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Jenny
Chris' wife and momma of 7. My blog: The Littlest Way--Bible Journaling, Inspiring Bible Quotes, Daily Affirmations, Prayer Journaling & photography
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Rachel May
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I do wear makeup every day, and try to freshen before Bill comes home. I keep a colored lipgloss in the kitchen because if I have time for nothing else, that will make it all look good.
I don't always brush my hair. It's longish and layered in a style I call messy and my hairdresser calls "carefree". Once it's a bit longer, I'll twist it into a french twist in clips in the back so it looks neat, but I'm not always wearing a ponytail. Quick and easy. I think long hair is more attractive on my face and my husband prefers it that way so we're going long again. I also read that men associate long hair with youth and fertility. I like thinking that that is why he prefers it. I've found that an expensive hair cut that is way too short is a more accurate sign than a pregnancy test that there is a new one coming.....
I've been graying since I was 16 (now 33); I have a nice subtle skunk streak in the front which Bill calls distinguished. I have had it colored nicely at a salon once, but only back to my natural color so it grew out without angst. I loved it, but I don't care enough to make time or spend money on it regularly.
There is no easy time for me to bathe; I just load them all in the shower with me and send them out as I get ready (and pray the baby doesn't wee on the carpet). I give myself a 30 min time limit, and my Sunday treat is to be ALL ALONE as I get ready.
You've hit the few parts of my appearance I do ok with. It's the post preg tummy that I have a hard time with.
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 8:02pm | IP Logged
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Do you wear makeup every day?--
Usually I wear a sheer tinted moisturizer/sunscreen and a little blush and lipgloss. Always, lipgloss as my lips are perpetually chapped, particularly when pregnant.
Do you wear your hair long or short and if you prefer it a certain way, why?--Well, it was cut into short layers and allowed to curl on its own. Then, I was too sick to go get a haircut. Now, four months later, it's long enough that I'm pulling the sides back. I'll probably let it grow throughout this pregnancy. I'm finding that now that I'm not fighting the curl, I actually like it long.
If you are old enough to have grey hair, do you color it? At home or in the salon?--I'm old enough and I see a few. I don't have enough to color. I've never colored or highlighted. I just don't think I have what it takes to do something so high maintenance. I can barely make it in when I'm supposed to get it cut.
How much time do you spend on personal appearance in general each day?--very little . A five minute shower, a little curl cream in my hair and a five minute (max) makeup routine.
Those of you with little ones, do you find it easier to wake up before the children to bathe or shower or wait until they are asleep?--pre-pregnancy: I'd work out and shower first thing in the morning, usually before anyone was awake. Now, there's no workout but I still try to shower before they're all up.
I love baths but those are luxuries and not routine.
And, I do think that you are at the post-partum haircut stage. Hair growth changes right after pregnancy and really starts to show it's stuff around 4 or 5 months. Even if it's just a good shaping, you'll feel better for having been to the salon.
Getting dresed is also a good idea and it will make you feel more put together. I have a friend who has this beauty thing down to a science and it's all routinized, much like all the systems that (theoretically) are household routines. Her clothes are purchased according to a pattern (sort of a uniform, but you'd never know it, looking at her) and she has wash and wear hair and a five minute makeup routine. Always, neat and tidy and genuinely lovely, but simple.
Oh and just to set the record straight: Mary Chris is adorable and she doesn't look like an Irish Washer woman. Haven't seen her new do, but I liked the old one. She has great taste in clothes and jewelry!
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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SaraP
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 8:16pm | IP Logged
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Elizabeth wrote:
| I have a friend who has this beauty thing down to a science and it's all routinized, much like all the systems that (theoretically) are household routines. Her clothes are purchased according to a pattern (sort of a uniform, but you'd never know it, looking at her) |
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I've said for years (since I taught in a Catholic HS ) that I wished I could wear a uniform, but I haven't managed to figure out one that works without lookinglike a uniform.
What does your friend wear, Elizabeth?
Does anyone else have a momma uniform figured out?
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Mama to six on earth, two in heaven and two waiting in Russia. Foxberry Farm Almanac
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lilac hill
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I wear make up everyday but it just takes a few minutes--concealer helps with the inherited dark circles, bit of a neutral shadow, mascara, and a bit of cheap lip pencil over my lips with some chap stick. My daughter likes tinted moisturizer.Now that the sun is stronger I have added a sunscreen with 45 SPF.(Seems that the time it takes for the moisturizer and sunscreen to soak in takes the longest.
I keep my hair short, fingers, gel, and a bit of a hair dryer if I have time. It does require cutting every 5-6 weeks but daily it takes no time. DH likes it short and blond , so I have it highlighted regularly.When my hair was longer it was in a pony tail all the time because I hate it in my face.
When the girls were small they were in the bathroom with me. It was babyproofed and more often than not they got their showers then too. DD#1 was a very early riser so there was no way I was getting up before her.Evenings are tough since I tend to fall asleep when the sun goes down.
I have been caught one to many times with people coming to the door so I just try to get it done early. Nothing more embarassing than having the farmer that cuts our hay come by to discuss the fertilizing and beef pasture while I am still in my robe
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Viv
Wife to Rick (7/83), Mom to dd#1(6/87), dd#2(1/90), and dd#3(6/94) in central PA.
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Cheryl
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 9:24pm | IP Logged
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I'm post baby too, but since she's almost 8 weeks I'm in the stage where people say, "You look good!" (they are probably thinking "for just having a baby.")
I lost most of the weight but still have a larger waist and hips and lots of extra skin on my mushy abdomen. Fortunately, my sister who is pregnant gave me all of her clothes and they fit!
As for your questions, I never wear make up unless I'm going to a special party. My hair is very short and black and grey. My dh still misses the hair I had when we met. He describes it as long and luxurious, but that's so impractical now. It would probably take me 15 minutes to dry it. I don't think I'll color it anymore. I did for awhile when I was younger. I'm 36 and I don't think it would look natural to have no greys now.
I take a shower every morning while my dh is home getting ready for work. I love, love, love warm water. Sometimes I sway in the shower for a long time, until my dh comes in and says "You've been in there for 15 minutes!" When he's in a rush I take a 4 minute shower. Sometimes I don't dry my hair, but it takes less than 5 minutes. Contacts, dressing and brushing teeth probably take less than 10 minutes.
I think I feel better about myself when I get my alone time, well, my time when everyone is sleeping. I should call it quiet time. I also feel better when I get enough sleep, which I haven't been doing. I think I look better when I smile, which I just realized I want to do more. Sorry for my thinking aloud. By the way, you look great in your photo near your post.
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Cheryl
Wife to Bob ('97)
Mom to Matthew 13, Joseph 11, Sarah 10, Rachel 6, Hannah almost 4 and Mary 1
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mrsgranola
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 9:39pm | IP Logged
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I'm dealing with the frumpy feelings right now, too. But I'm trying hard to come out of it!
I have had grey hairs since 8th grade! Now I don't color it religiously but I do occasionally put semi-permanent coloring on it, mostly at the nagging requests of my mom. She does it for me most the time, neutral brown or sometimes I put a hint of auburn.
I've been doing WW online and have lost almost 15 lbs. so I went thru some boxes of old clothes today and was able to get into some long-forgotten clothes. Now to just multiply that by 4 and I'll have lost all I need to lose...
And I usually only wear make-up on Sunday or if I'm going for an appt. that I need to muster up a little more formality...
I have short hair and have since I could remember so I'm not a long-hair person. But at the rate my hair has thinned out, I may have long hair one of these days. I had such kinky curly hair when I was young that I got teased about it and now it has relaxed out an unbelieveable amount. I wish I could change it but every time I try to let it grow a little it drives me nuts...
FWIW...
JoAnna, who has about 2.5 weeks until moving day(s)!
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Parente Adventures
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Natalia
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 10:09pm | IP Logged
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Make up: I hardly ever wear make up. Only on Sundays or in the winter when my lips get chapped. My dh doesn't like make up. He said that with my pretty brown skin I don't need it. Isn't he sweet?
Hair: My hair is shoulder length right now. The longer it has been in several years. I have thick hair, salt and pepper you can call it. Gray hair runs in my family, the Garrrido curse I call it. I have had gray hair since I was 15th. I have thought about coloring but it almost feels that gray hair is part of my identity. I rather like my gray hair except that is getting a little coarse and frizzy in the front. My hair dresser suggested doing a clear- I am not exactly clear (pardon the pun) in what that is but I am getting it done in a couple of weeks.
I wear my hair down most of the time but sometimes it bothers me so I pull it back with a clip. For some reason I keep taking my clips off and loosing them. They turn up in the oddest places!
I don't spend much time in personal appearance. I like to dress well but
I like comfortable shoes and clothes. This year we have been involved in more outside activities and I have noticed that I have payed more attention to how I dress. If I am going to stay home, I don't always look nice. I want to start making an effort to look nicer when Mark comes home even if I haven't gotten out of the house.
Regarding showers, I love to shower. I grew up taking two showers a day (it is hot and humid in the Dominican Republic!). After coming to live in the States I quickly realized that my skin couldn't handle two showers a day. Now I only take one and I do it at night time. I only take a daytime shower when I need to wash my hair - usually twice a week. My hair is very thick and it takes me forever to dry so I try not to do it at night.
Natalia
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KC in TX
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 10:34pm | IP Logged
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I've been feeling especially frumpy lately too.
I don't wear makeup unless it's a special occasion. Mostly, I don't think I wear it well--I need a good makeup lesson.
My hair is long and I haven't had a cut since October of 2004. I have thick coarse Asian hair that's hard to style. It's better left straight and long. I usually pull it up into a ponytail by the end of the day.
Wardrobe: Usually consists of jeans and tshirt (or polo type) or khakis and same top. I'm trying to expand more into skirts and such but it's hard. I'm not too keen on this year's fashions. Oh, well. It also doesn't help that my size keeps going up and down with the pregnancies.
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KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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Rebecca
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 11:04pm | IP Logged
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Thank you so much for all the responses. I so appreciate all your words, humor and advice. I have naturally dark straight hair that has been going grey since I was about 20. I never know what to do with it, how to have it cut or whether to color it. I am 36 and don't feel old enough to have the amount of grey hair that I have but am too old to not have any!
I'm enjoying reading your tips on what's important and what is not. Please keep it coming!
God Bless,
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LisaD
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| Posted: April 27 2006 at 11:13pm | IP Logged
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My youngest is 3 months old, and I have some of that post-partum frumpiness thing going on, too, but mine is mostly related to not having much to wear that I feel pretty in.
Makeup: I wear light makeup almost daily. A little mineral makeup, blush, and lip gloss. If I'm going out somewhere, I sometimes wear mascara and a neutral shadow. I didn't wear any makeup today, and I just looked so tired when I saw myself in the mirror.
Hair: Long, with bangs. I really, really need a trim, since it's been six months since the last one. Dh prefers my hair long, and I have a much easier time long hair. My hair is quite wavy, and I struggle with it too much when it's short. I wash it twice a week, and generally wear it up or pulled back so the baby doesn't pull it. I have some gray hair, but I don't think I will ever color it. My dh is three years younger than I am, and at 37 is completely gray. I figure I'll always look young(er) next to him, so I don't need to color my few gray hairs!
Time: I spend about 15-20 minutes showering, dressing and putting on make-up. If it's a washing hair day, it takes another 15-20 minutes for me to dry my hair. Most mornings, I can shower while my husband is having coffee and keeping an eye on the kids. When he's traveling (like right now), I just put on a video for the kids that are awake and put the baby in bouncy seat in the bathroom with me.
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~Lisa
Mama to dd(99), ds(01), ds(03) and ds(06)
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Frumpiness
