Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Subject Topic: A rose among thorns, or house full of men Post ReplyPost New Topic
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Angie Mc
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Posted: Sept 21 2011 at 2:27pm | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc

What is a lady to do? How do you fill your heart and home with the feminine?

My dd moved out of the house for college a year ago. My dh, 3 boys, and even our dog and cat are very male (which of course I love but that is another post ) and sometimes it feels like they have taken over!

So, I find my little ways to be a girl. Right now I'm all over bracelets - wearing, buying, making.

What about you?

Love,

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JodieLyn
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Posted: Sept 21 2011 at 2:51pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

well.. I'm not there yet.. but my littlest girlie is surrounded by brothers (two older, going to be 3 younger).. which is funny since the older 4 is 3 girls and 1 boy.

Re-read Eight Cousins by LM Alcott for some inspiration. 1 girl cousin and 7 boy cousins and how the boys benefit from having the feminine girl amoungst them.

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Angel
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Posted: Sept 21 2011 at 7:11pm | IP Logged Quote Angel

Oh, Angie, how I when I saw the subject line! I feel your pain!!

I do have my dd here, but being surrounded by dh and 6 boys... I have been threatening to paint the laundry room a nice shade of rose because it's the only room someone male wouldn't say, "Ew, PINK!" about!!!

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knowloveserve
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Posted: Sept 21 2011 at 7:58pm | IP Logged Quote knowloveserve

A husband and four sons surround me and my two year old daughter.

Fresh bouquets of flowers do wonders for me... and a nice seasonal tablecloth.

Small vases of flowers, even a simple bloom or two in the bathroom are an especially nice touch.

Candlelight for ambiance in the afternoons or evenings...

Pretty music...

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Servant2theKing
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Posted: Sept 21 2011 at 9:52pm | IP Logged Quote Servant2theKing

Angie, I'm in the same boat ~ a ship full of sailors with no other maidens ~ including three very male dogs.

I try to add various feminine touches to soften the testosterone overload~

~requesting a crystal goblet for evening meals ~ while everyone else uses manly, heavy-duty glassware, they seem to enjoy seeing Mom using something more delicate ~ doing so has even "occasionally" inspired discussions of the mannerly sort

~a small, dainty etched glass at my bedside adds another feminine touch ~ actually, 3 of those glasses beckoned to me from a shelf at a thrift shop oneday ~ I would normally have passed them up as "too delicate, too fragile, too few" ~ a whisper in my soul gave me permission to buy them (2 for spares when inevitable breakage occurs) ~ I often feel just like those little glasses, even down to feeling etched and slightly worn

~teaching myself to knit makes me feel very feminine and more closely connected to women in our family who fashioned countless lovely gifts for others with their loving handiwork

~other various crafts, when I’m in the mood ~ like refashioning old game boards with paint pens, especially metallic ones ~ adding gold and silver flowers and flourishes gives a glistening touch that makes me happy

~romantic period movies or books from the library that inspire femininity, especially when dh and the fellas are pursuing guy stuff (recent finds have been books about artists's creative spots - if you're into making jewelry you might enjoy Amy Hanna's book, “Rejuvenated Jewels”)

~having a girl's day out occasionally revives my soul, especially if I can make it to Adoration and a thrift shop

~spiritual motherhood of priests; making an extra effort to pray for priests reminds me of the importance of a woman's prayers

~ a long bath with candlelight and bubbles is a favorite treat

~dh has recently sensed my need to lessen the extra testosterone flowing throughout our house ~ he has been taking ds's to fencing lessons and surprising me with small treats on Saturday evenings (usually chocolate or something I don’t have to cook!)

~it's not really feminine, but dh and I have been having a daily cribbage game before our family prayertime ~ that extra connection has given us both something to look forward to ~ it takes only a few minutes and is surprisingly fun ~ a definite stress-reliever! We're keeping tally of the daily winner on the back of the board, for posterity! Dh already owes me two banana splits for skunking him ~ a longheld family tradition when dh was growing up, which dd cleverly brought to my attention ~ we girls really have to stick together, even if it does have to be long distance!

This isn't part of your question, but it's one of my favorite survival tips for raising a houseful of sons ~ Many years ago, I started referring to our ds's as "gentlemen-in-training", encouraging them to practice gentlemanly behavior toward me, their sister (when she lived at home), as well as any other females they encounter. In recent years, I've added the practice of having them come to me in the mornings and before bed, as well as any times we part ways, to give them a kiss on the cheek and a blessing on their foreheads, while also saying a short prayer over them. After listening to a short piece on the radio before the anniversary of 9/11, about the importance of saying "I love you" (expressed by men), I've added those simple, very valuable words at the end of each blessing. Dh grew up with little physical affection or verbal expression of feelings, and no family prayer life ~ in another houseful of males. It's my fervent hope that those small efforts will make such things a little more natural and comfortable for our sons, in whatever vocation God guides them to embrace in this life.

~When dd and our three precious granddaughters come to visit I'm always in girl heaven! There's something about their presence that just melts my heart! Dh and all our sons and grandsons each have a very special place in my heart, but the bond with other females is ~~~~well, if it were a color it must be pink, I think, right Angela?

From one "lonely little petunia in an onion patch" to another ~ my Mom used to sing a little song with those words ~ I don't know if it's a real song, or just a little ditty she came up with, but it seems to fit!
Lots of hugs, prayers, tea 'n sympathy!


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JodieLyn
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Posted: Sept 21 2011 at 10:08pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

Just a small deviation to say... YES that is a real song.. I learned it from my grandma here it is on youtube

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Chris V
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Posted: Sept 22 2011 at 12:33am | IP Logged Quote Chris V

I think my dh could pose the exact same question, only with the opposite approach ! No problems with *femming* up the place 'round here. In face, it's sometimes dh who throws up an elk rack on the wall, just to keep it balanced

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CrunchyMom
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Posted: Sept 22 2011 at 4:50am | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

Well, I am certainly in that boat, and I don't know any different! I am definitely my father's daughter, and it was just last week I was explaining the ins and outs of submarine warfare in response to a stream of questions by my 7 year old (the van is where they always have you cornered, no? ), and I realized that there was some plan in preparing me to be a mother of boys.

One thing I've done is keep my hair long. I also experimented with wearing skirts exclusively a few years ago, and perhaps it is the distinction afforded as their forces grew that solidified it as a habit.    I do like scarves and pretty hats, too. I've never been big on jewelry, but scarves add fun fe,inine flair.

It is a challenge sometimes, but one of my biggest fears is that someday I'll have a girl and be jealous I really don't think that will happen, but there is a certain amount of honor in being the lone female. I always get the role of Maid Marian when my boys are casting



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stacykay
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Posted: Sept 22 2011 at 9:37am | IP Logged Quote stacykay

JodieLyn wrote:
Just a small deviation to say... YES that is a real song.. I learned it from my grandma here it is on youtube




I love the part about the air...it is football season, and I find myself surrounded by many fragrant young men.

I have taken to "doing my nails." My mum probably polished her nails every other day! Now that's something my boys won't be doing!

I love all the other ideas, and I do many of them. I also have my "chick movies" for evenings I am feeling especially buried in the hormones raging here.

My favorite thing is my infrequent outings with other women. And isn't it strange that one of my bff's also has six sons...in fact almost all of my closest friends have only boys.

I know I am going to have to be careful to be fair when grandkids come along, as I am so ready to take a granddaughter to tea and to buy pink!


In Christ,
Stacy in MI   
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Servant2theKing
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Posted: Sept 22 2011 at 10:38am | IP Logged Quote Servant2theKing

Thanks so much for sharing the song Jodie ~ it brings back such fond memories. Stacy, the part about the air surely applies to odorific, "fragrant" young men!

BTW, there's little chance of favoritism with grandchildren ~ they're ALL so precious and each and every one will captivate your heart! The boys will remind you, in so many ways, of your own dear sons ~ the girls will bless you with all their girly ways that you've been waiting to enjoy.

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imcatholic
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Posted: Sept 23 2011 at 10:55am | IP Logged Quote imcatholic

Well I am watching this thread intensely - I have to admit I am a little frustrated at my house. It's hard to get boys to understand how to be deliberate in their manner. ie STOP WEARING HIKING BOOTS IN MY HOUSE!!!! and plopping on my sofa! They have torn the wood floors up (not that they were in great shape anyway) and really do you think leaving the empty ____ on the table is going to make it fill up magically or can we throw it away? OK sorry I was ranting. As a mom of 4 boys I can understand the need for something nice EVEN though they don't understand why I want them to sweep up the dog hair off the steps...

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cathhomeschool
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Posted: Sept 27 2011 at 9:28am | IP Logged Quote cathhomeschool

CrunchyMom wrote:
Well, I am certainly in that boat, and I don't know any different! I am definitely my father's daughter, and it was just last week I was explaining the ins and outs of submarine warfare in response to a stream of questions by my 7 year old (the van is where they always have you cornered, no? ), and I realized that there was some plan in preparing me to be a mother of boys.


I guess that's where I'm at too. I grew up with only brothers, and while I played with barbies and loved making crafts and painting my nails, once I hit college I was surrounded by boys (engineering degree) and felt more comfortable talking with boys than girls. (Too many backstabbing girls in my past, I think.) It's only recently that I've gotten any "girlfriends." I never wanted any daughters. And I'm afraid if I had one she'd be in a tshirt and shorts that don't match, just like my boys.      BUT...I do love children, babysitting, mothering, flowers, painting my toes, and the idea of being girly.

I love the ideas here. I think I'll start with candles. I love them, have them, but never light them!   

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cheesehead mom
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Posted: Oct 11 2011 at 2:48pm | IP Logged Quote cheesehead mom

I was thinking...how about a girls only bathroom--love my little men but do not like sharing a bathroom with them!
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Jenn Sal
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Posted: Oct 11 2011 at 3:41pm | IP Logged Quote Jenn Sal

Call your sister...    We can talk girly stuff! Yes, I have three daughters, but I've never desired to be girly, until....I've been showing my age. So, I wear lipgloss now. I love scarves and my mother-in-law bought me a purse with a matching wallet for Christmas last year. I couldn't believe how feminine it made me feel! I had been using a backpack for nine years!

If allergies aren't a problem, light a scented candle. I think that gives a home a feminie feel!

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