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florasita
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| Posted: April 25 2011 at 10:28am | IP Logged
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I honestly was not sure where to place this post as I most certainly am in need of prayers , it is an issue of religious persecution so maybe it falls under religion topics , feel free to move it to the appropriate forum 
This lent was no different then any other for me , a lot of hard work emtying of self etc. I also am always asked to look at relationships and do cleansing there . I also always find I am in someway asked to let somebody go. Last yr. was very hard as I had to let my psiritual director go and it was very hard because he was/is a priest . I did learn however that it is even more imperative when we are in role of spirtual guidence for others how important it is for us not to stray ! be we a parent or priest . So it was a good example of where not to go and of what not to do and prrof just because someone is a religious we are not always called to follow .
This yr it was close to home , my sil
This is the one and only member of dh family I am still close to or in contact with .
She considers herself to be neopagan . I realize God has placed me as missionary amongst all peoples and I am built for it and capable of doing so.
Yet the question arose this Lent of what to do in regards to out and out hate for my religion just because. I dealt with hate towards catholic from her on 3 different occassions this lenten season. I'd felt called very much to pray for her along with a few others to ST.juan Diego as he is a great saint of conversion , even inspiring a bishop to conversion is a great acomplishment I can see why my sil is called back to MX yr after yr. now I'm not saying everyone who goes to MX is called by Our Lady but some of us are and all during lent all I kept hearing was Am I not here , who is your Mother .
yet my sil keeps using excuses to please self to go to MX each yr. I kept thinking of Mother Teresa telling people not to go to India unless it is God asking you to. Today her daily quote from The Joy in Loving is exactly about that ! help your family , help your nieghbour , help your own homeless.
I feel even more inspired to help people come to know , who is thier Mother  I felt so bad for Hilory Clinton she encountered catholics who became mad at her when visiting the tilma. I felt bad because I made the same mistake with my gf I lost 4 yrs ago to wicca . my gf just like Hilory said how lucky I was to have Our Lady .
My responce was supposed to be " she is your mother too " Oh I will never make that horrid mistake again . so yes I pray for Hilory Clinton too as Our Lady loves her so much !
okay back to my lenten dilema with my sil. I was reminded how yes Mother Teresa was called to work with all peoples , all religions but very much in love with her God & religion , she also did not force help on people who did not wish to be helped ! I kept having the image of being in a bar smoking & drinking . Yes I understand my sil and where she is at . I know her fear and anger is really pain , because I too have been there . we all have to some degree . yet am I to pratke in enabling that hate ? how can my responce to hate be real love , it is certainly not to be in enabling forms .
No I needed to say goodbye . It hurts , I need to get through it . I heard the question on good frieday . " are you strong enough to stand alone , if it means being shunned and standing alone with Him ? " my responce is " YES " I cannot not be with Him. It is a must for me to be me
this hate has always been inside my dh & his sisters .It is not theirs I understand it very much . I am just not one to tolerate absuive hate felt behaviour . I need to walk away. I do beleive in conversion . I was reminded of ST.Paul and prayed to him to help my sil .
I'd been dealing with this hate forever since being with my dh .
2 weeks ago I went on a field trip with my sil and it was at an old catholic girls school , it is beautiful place but she kept making mean hatefelt comments . I know why she was doing it out loud was to be cool in her crowd of bullies she is hanging out with . My children however were being exposed to this hatred of catholics , which we are , plus it is promoting hate within her own child . I do not like this behaviour from anyone be they pagan hating catholic or catholic hating muslims etc. then I saw on her fb page one of these cool supposedly liberal minded athiest homeschooling friends posted on my sil page an youtube video for something called priestoff . It was not just ignorant and rude as a person who is a survivor and works so hard to educate I am insulted . my sil chose to leave this on her fb page . then she posted on her status how Easter is so wonderful because all her christian nieghbours wake up drive in thier gas wasting SUV and go to McDonalds and are basically evil bad people . !
I unfriended her , that was it .
I mean do we not all have faults ? I could say it is the time of year all those earth loving pagans dye thier hair with toxic chemical hair dyes and order tarot cards from China .
people are people but I just can't deal with this hate just because stuff .
I feel ever so strongly God calling me to work , teach and councel with those who wish to be helped .
Like I said I need prayer big time but I'd also like to know how have you all dealt with persecution ? what saints help you move on and get through it ?
I feel I am still being asked to cleanse & fast so going to try and focus on that for the next few weeks.
any support you can offer I really appreciate it .
Thanks so much
Rox
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SusanMc
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I couldn't read and not post.  I have had some friends and family members who feel very justified in making derrogatory remarks about the Catholic faith. I find it helpful to remember two things:
1. While I may feel their remarks are intended to hurt me or that they should know better, oftentimes it never occurs to them that I take these things personally.
2. Jesus and the Church are strong...they can take it. My job is to remain faithful and respond in charity not to change their hearts. When I feel myself getting emotionally worked up on the Church's behalf, I remind myself of this.
Now this doesn't mean that I just grin and bear it. But I do feel like I have a responsibility to let them know what's going on between us before making a radical move to cut out someone who is close to me. Something simple like, "You know when you make comments like that around me, I find it very hurtful and can't help but feel that you don't wish me to be here or be close. I know we have our differences but I do hope we can find a way to still be around each other while causing each other pain." If they can't meet me in the middle than a hiatus may be necessary.
Finally, I find that I am the LEAST effective in changing the hearts of those closest to me i.e. family. The dynamics are just too complex.
I hope this helps. I'll pray for you and your SIL.
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florasita
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Oh Susan yes it does help! I being a missionary know I cannot change anyones heart .I merely pray for them and conversion come . lol because of my work in abuse I am always saying our church is not a victim etc. however it is perfectly normal and a part of healing to know and acknowldge when we are being victimized and not to stay in that position . what is our responce .I am well aware we are not always asked to walk away .However I was asked to walk away from this relationship and not enable my sil to remain where she is stuck.
love does not always mean sticking around and taking it .
I am not asked however to take part in absuive situations or relationships. my sil is a very abusive person and I have and do work people who are abusers however only if they have acknowldged the behaviour .
My sil and I have talked she does not acknowldge her hate towards the church , men and others nor her abusive behaviour to others .I was asked last yr. to step away from the relationship but I was to fearful. God is ever so pateint with me and I'm so relieved now . I do hope she may one day come to therapy but until then my prayer is all that I am to offer .
It is such a healing expereince & blessing when we do work it out and can step away from all that abuse .
Once again so very happy to say Yes to Him and No to that which is harmful. I love the positive no
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robinhigh
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Love is the answer.
My sister is neopagan also. I understand. I also receive ridiculing remarks on a daily basis by someone in my family. I understand. My stepdaughter wants to become Catholic.. she wants me to teach her Catechism. I began, and she loved it. A parent of hers told me to stop teaching her "that Catholic stuff". My stepdaughter cried. I understand.
Love is the answer.
Love transcends time and space. If you cannot be near this person, then Love: in your thoughts, in your prayers, in your actions. Love humbly. (I'm speaking to myself.)
You will offer Love and in return be pierced. That is the Cross.
Place it in God's hands daily and LEAVE THE DETAILS UP TO HIM.
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florasita
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It is not that she is neo pagan at all . I've many pagan , wiccan , secular friends etc. as I said this is where my mission work is . it is the hate and abuse etc. this is the family my mil said if she'd had access to abortion she'd have had one . really ? my poor dh to hear that from his mother ! so was he the one she'd have aborted ?
yes Mother Teresa has always told me to respond in love , even so far as I often give a bossy bully her book , annonomously of course
most people who have not had to deal with abuse do not undertsnad that we can love people from afar such in the relationship of an alcoholic or spousal abse etc. and that in fact often saying no is the best loving action we can do.
I am much better now after time in prayer .
so oftenb we are just not aware of our part in the relationship and we have choice to remain in it or not
Thanks so much
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guitarnan
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You know, I think you have said something very important. We do have a choice to remain in a relationship or not. We can love people from afar, as you've said, without having to change our boundaries and encounter unnecessary hurt. Sometimes that's the best thing to do - especially if we can devote time to praying for that person's healing and for our relationship with him/her to improve if that is God's will.
God calls us all to love, as Robin said. We are also allowed to set boundaries so that those we love don't manipulate us or take undue advantage of that love.
Rox, you have had to deal with so many things and I can read so much love in what you've written today. I hope I can take your words, Susan's and Robin's with me the next time I must face some of my friends and acquaintances who despise the Catholic Church.
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Servant2theKing
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Reading these posts I am struck with God's amazing and incredsible timing....that these discussions and experiences are occurring during Easter week and during the Divine Mercy Novena is surely no accident or coincidence. A family member and I were just discussing today how much we need to model and pour out upon others the very same mercy and love that Christ has poured out upon us! Praying that those of us who have received such an abundance of His grace, mercy and love can respond with mercy and love to others, especially those wounded or angry souls who do not yet know Christ or love Him as He deserves. Oh Jesus, we entrust all those souls who are hurting or lost to Your unfathomable Divine Mercy! Pope John Paul II, please intercede in a powerful way for all the intentions we place at the Feet of Jesus during these most holy days.
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florasita
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| Posted: April 26 2011 at 8:37am | IP Logged
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Oh and I did for get to say was the last thing I said & gave to my sil is that Our Lady is her mother too and is so reaching out to her and she is loved very much .
of course her responce was in hate but I cannot control that , the message was given is all that matters
thank You all so much
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Angie Mc
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I do my best not to allow myself to be treated poorly by others. Sometimes this is impossible, though.
Some relationships demand more patience and acceptance of inflicted suffering such as those between a husband and wife (sacramental relationship), parents and child (honor father and mother.) The farther removed a relationship is from these priorities that Christ and His Church have set for us, the less obligation I feel toward engagement.
There is little that I would like more than to be the one who changes a heart, who draws a soul closer to Christ and His Church. In the past, my pride would tempt me to stay engaged in such relationships, with all good intentions. Now? Not so much. I have really had to let go of my desire to influence. I have backed out of relationships to protect myself and my family. I have found ways to set healthy boundaries. I have let others know specifically what I can and can't do within a relationship (ex: I can talk about parenting but I can't talk about religion.) I really try to set others up for success! If I reasonably know that someon will be hateful toward me because of my religion, I don't go there with that person! This isn't a denial of my faith, this is a refocus - one based on my actions more than my words.
I hope I haven't been too vague, Roxie. I know how hard it is to be on fire for the Lord and to LOVE his Church and to not be very well-recieved because of this passion. I know what it is like to be accused of being arrogant, judging, and worse. I know what it feels like to be baited into arguments only to be snapped at if I engage OR be judged a snob if I don't engage. I know what it feels like to show day in and day out for years the joy of my life...only to have it ignored, dismissed, or attacked. It's sad. But...
Praise God for His grace and truth revealed! Thank God that we can pray and pray and pray for those who we may not be able to engaged with. I cannot deny that all of this makes me stronger and I can definitely see that God is working in His time and His way for the salvation of ALL souls.
And praise God for friends to help support us along the way  .
Love,
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JodieLyn
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Angie Mc wrote:
There is little that I would like more than to be the one who changes a heart, who draws a soul closer to Christ and His Church. In the past, my pride would tempt me to stay engaged in such relationships, with all good intentions. Now? Not so much. I have really had to let go of my desire to influence. I have backed out of relationships to protect myself and my family. I have found ways to set healthy boundaries. I have let others know specifically what I can and can't do within a relationship (ex: I can talk about parenting but I can't talk about religion.) I really try to set others up for success! If I reasonably know that someon will be hateful toward me because of my religion, I don't go there with that person! This isn't a denial of my faith, this is a refocus - one based on my actions more than my words.
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Something that helps me with this is remembering that I'm really not alone. The Holy Spirit is in charge here. And He doesn't need everything for a person to come from me. But you never know what or where that turning point might be for someone.
Sometimes it is the small things.. the comment that doesn't invite a defense of self.. that lets the person consider that comment later.. maybe much later.. and opens that person up for the next person that comes along to help them.
And sometimes it's more important to simply live out your faith in front of someone rather than arguing with them. "Preach the gospel at all times, when necessary, use words". Sometimes using words only gives someone something to fight against.
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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florasita
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Yes Angie I do have it from dh too but we are to be together etc. he does get exteremly angry when I am very much in union etc. and I know all the why's etc. I know not to take it personally even though it does hurt .
This relationship with my sil has been like this for 2 yrs and like I said last lent God asked me to let go of her but I was just to fearful seeking exceptance , feeling I'd be the bad friend etc. each relationship is unique and takes it own time . some people I had to let go of it never was meant to be just my role as enabler kept me there .
I knew I could take this personally and be the victim once again .However the Crcified Lord helped me see Yes it is not that we are not to acknowldeged we have been victimized , it is that it is our choice if we reamin to stay in the victim state or not .
Jesus chose not to be victim so clearly I can too
It is hard when people have the image of family being bloodline etc. my family and other survivors of abuse certainly know family has nothing to do with bloodline .
I am realieved not to be with my sil right now she , my mil and my dh sisters are all men & catholic hating bullies and it is just nice not to be with them .I am just so disappointed in myself for falling into that pathetic role again of trying to people please etc.
I do not like to talk of those I have helped say no to abortion , in conversion , be healed , etc. because it leads my ego to be boosted . at times I have felt the urge to follow others so I could be recognized and it is so very wrong for me. I want no credit ( when my ego is not big ) and wish it all to go to Him .
I'd had an argument with a lady once who ran a forum etc. about approaching people regarding abortion choice in a non aggressive way , not to be forceful or threatening .
she came at me with , well she had spoken to auditoriums full of college students regarding abortion etc. and who was I just some dumb woman who is a kind of catholic I guess. I did not respond that I had indded helped 3 women , actually teen girls make the choice to say no and I do not want to focus on the many but the few . if I make it about numbers , some will be left behind .
but it was not me because , really when we are being called to be who we are created to be , people see God in us , so it is Him not me at all .
does that make any sense at all ?
I do not wish to be mean to my sil . I wish to support her when she feels she needs help but I find it is just hard to deal with a bully or a boosted ego until they fall and ask for help .
we are leaving on friday and I'm stressed from packing but so looking forward to more silence and prayer .
I am inspired by Mother Antonia that when I am perhaps older and developed enough in spiritual direction I could go to some kind of hermitage or something like she did .
Oh my I am wandering today 
Yes His Mercy is the best love there is !
lol my dh being from Canada joke about being on fire for the Lood because to us it is a southern baptist expression . I come home from mass and say " Bob " he respnds "yes " I say throwing my arms up in the air "I'm just on fire for the Lord " it is that extreme Love ! then the kind of love where you are walking on your knees , the same intense love yet different .
Yes to enage with others of other relions or even catholics who do not wish to be connected and we know conversion just does not happen by being forced . so what can we do ? I again think of Mother Teresa who helped all peoples but that man who wished to remain in the gutter to die , she left him . so I leave my sil but I am also here for her at the same time I think is what it is.
okay enough busy brain .
Thank You ,Thank You All !!
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May I rise & rest with words of Gratitude on my Breath
May I have the Heart & Mind of a Child in my Depth
May I forever remember to be a Light
May Peace Love & Hope be My Sight
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florasita
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Yikes you all must get sick of all my writing !
Angie I forgot to tell you that I've been reading a great book by Charles Stanley Surviving in an Angry World. I have always liked his talks and work but this book is so awseome about reassuring how to deal with those who are nagry 7 absuive etc.
I thought of you about the arrogance , judging etc.
there are differences .
arrogance can often be mistaken for self confidence .
Angie you are a confident catholic you are ever so helpful , that is in no way arrogance .
my sil is arrogant she denies her part in harming and having hate for others , she does cynical mocking of others rather then joyful laughter with others .
There is also a difference between judging and good judgement. God enevr asked us not to judge , we are indeed asked to have good judgment.
Me writing about my religion annoys alot of people in my family but they know I am merely ralting my religion connecting it to all parts of my life , then you have my sil who defends her religion by knocking religions of others .
I am not denying either not ever being prejgdice but am ever so thankful my being His catholic He for certain asks me to see it and akcknowldge it and learn how to deal with my prejugdices and all my sin for that matter.
My sil and her friends try thier hardest to deny any sinfulness if if ever a wrong was noticed it would always be followed with an excuse .
It was for me a big sign when she chose to be with these hatefelt people to fit in and be cool and in turn began mocking others etc. I also know much of this comes from I also had to warn her that one of the members of this group is a spousal abuser and is now applying to have foster children and is going to be reported . This is true and there is proof this person is an abusive person . My sil chose to stay and hang out with that group . So am I to take part , as I said go drink and smoke with her just so she feels I am her friend ? No , of course not ! my sil group is not smokers and drinkers I just used that as an example .absuive hatefelt behaviour is what it is abuse is abuse . I just can't take part unless they want help leaving that life of abuse .
I'm not sure if my telling her that OLG loved her drove her deeper into fear and hiding . maybe it was wrong but I had made Jesus that rpomise that I would never not tell someone ever again that Mary is also their Mother .
anyway I feel you are in no way arrogant nor judging what so ever and this is not meant to boost any egos either let us reamin small for Him and support each other ~ amen
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May I rise & rest with words of Gratitude on my Breath
May I have the Heart & Mind of a Child in my Depth
May I forever remember to be a Light
May Peace Love & Hope be My Sight
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Angie Mc
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florasita wrote:
... the Crcified Lord helped me see Yes it is not that we are not to acknowldeged we have been victimized , it is that it is our choice if we reamin to stay in the victim state or not .
Jesus chose not to be victim so clearly I can too
It is hard when people have the image of family being bloodline etc. my family and other survivors of abuse certainly know family has nothing to do with bloodline .
I am just so disappointed in myself for falling into that pathetic role again of trying to people please etc.
I want no credit ( when my ego is not big ) and wish it all to go to Him .
...and who was I just some dumb woman who is a kind of catholic I guess. ...so it is Him not me at all .
does that make any sense at all ?
...I say throwing my arms up in the air "I'm just on fire for the Lord " it is that extreme Love ! then the kind of love where you are walking on your knees , the same intense love yet different .
I again think of Mother Teresa who helped all peoples but that man who wished to remain in the gutter to die , she left him . so I leave my sil but I am also here for her at the same time I think is what it is.
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AMEN!
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Dealing with persecution ?
