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Michaela
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| Posted: Jan 27 2011 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
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Share a little bit of happiness!
For a loooong time, I struggled with guilt of not believing my children should have kitchen duty because it was my job.
After being overwhelmed and consistantly failing with all that's involved with dinner (the prep, cooking, trying to eat before Anthony had a meltdown, then the clean up during a meltdown)...I decided to delegate the chore I was failing at.
My three oldest children are now in charge of cleaning the entire kitchen after dinner. I'm able to give undivided attention to my youngest two....plus a bath...book...then bed. It's a no brainer, but I had to get over the guilt and let everyone know I needed help. My dd has stepped up, without being asked, and folds clothes while I'm bathing the little ones!
 
Now, I am soooo happy. No resentment or grumpiness in the evenings!! My children are all happy to help and doing a great job, too. 
Please share a little bit of happiness in your life. 
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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Bridget
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Michaela, you are such a sweet mom! Of course you know that it's good for the whole family, especially the children themselves, that they help! And you certainly are doing something right when they help cheerfully! 
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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MicheleQ
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(the closest thing I could find to a "like" button).
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Michele Quigley
wife to my prince charming and mom of 10 in Lancaster County, PA USA
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SuzanneG
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It's such a RELIEF, isn't it, Michaela????!!!! That was SUCH a happy day for me too!
It was SO happy, it was actually one of only 5 or 6 blog entries for the 2010 year! 
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Suzanne in ID
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Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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leanne maree
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Oh that is lovely to hear.
It is hard to get over the 'guilt', but once you have its very freeing.
And look you are reaping the benefits. I bet those older ones really like helping you as well.
I agree ""I Like"" as well.
leanne
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Leanne
Loving wife to Dermot and Adoring mother to Louise, Kristie, Kieran & Brid
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Jan 28 2011 at 6:35am | IP Logged
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We started the exact same thing here Michaela! My kids usually run off after dinner and my dh and I are left with the mess. It can be disheartening. I finally said "you know, I think these kids would do a great job at whipping this kitchen into shape after dinner", and despite all the "boos" from the peanut gallery my dh agreed. After about 4 days of it, they are getting into a groove and I enjoy hearing their conversation back and forth as they all do their jobs.
The kitchen isn't perfect when they are done. I go in for a final wipe down and I wash my cast iron skillets because I don't want them to - plus they are really heavy. But it sure is nice to have some extra time to just sit and chat with dh or to spend a little more time with the 3yo whose feeling a little displaced lately by his new baby brother.
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Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
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Mimip
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I think we all just had a general revolt!!!!
We just started doing this to.
Question though, Did you make a checklist? I think I read that Suzanne did in her post but its been a while. I am thinking I need a checklist with specifics like, sweep the floors, yes under the table too 
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Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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Angi
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Funny thing...kids are helping here too, just started recently. We are doing flylady, with a friend helping to keep me on track. The kids now know that dishes go in the dishwasher and if they do not fit, then they wash. It is going well.
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Jan 28 2011 at 8:51am | IP Logged
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I am SOOOO thrilled for you, Michaela!!!
Mimip wrote:
| Question though, Did you make a checklist? |
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I have a general one that is used as reference - I adjust it seasonally (to reflect new chores of the season), and it hangs on the fridge. Generally though, I've found it's best to keep it simple, so we assign one job to each child.
Here's our checklist - this contains all weekly chores...
2011-01-28_084922_Chorechart_2011.pdf
Child 1 - in charge of dishes - rinse, load in dishwasher, handwash pots and pans (if my husband has been cooking in the kitchen (   ) he is usually kind and helps out since he uses every.single.dish.in.the.kitchen.
**this job rotates every other day between the two oldest children)
Child 2 - in charge of clearing - tables, counters, and wiping (CONSEQUENCE POINT :: anything left by this child on table, counter (pots, dishes) is the responsibility of this child to wash and put away.) This person must also supervise the vacuum & rag gathering of the other two kids.
**this job rotates every other day between the two oldest children)
Child 3 - vacuum entire kitchen. This is not our big vac, it's a small inexpensive one that lives in the pantry and exists only to vacuum the kitchen after meals.
**this is usually our 6 yo.
Child 4 After dinner gather all washrags, dishtowels, kitchen linens and deposit in dirty kitchen rag bin in utility room.
**this is always the 3 yo, this job does not rotate.
My oldest son is in charge of trash no matter the day of the week, so that is taken out after dishes are done.
Our chores rotate because my children also help in preparing meals. If someone made dinner, then it's not their night to do dishes.
I'm just for you, Michaela!!! It's important for the children to contribute to the family, to give back. And, when they're grown adults, they need to know how to do basic clean-up jobs in the home. And....after a long day....it feels fantastic to have a few minutes to take a breath!
Great job, Michaela!!!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
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Servant2theKing
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Michaela, somewhere out there the future spouses of your dc will be doing a happy dance someday too!
Dc have been doing dishes for years....it is truly a gift to your dc and their future families that you are blessing them with experience in such an important area of family life.
Cooking and meal prep, is another area where dc can shine. 14yo ds makes incredible french toast and fried eggs, and is my main assistant for slicing, dicing and chopping during meal prep. Our older ones, who are still at home, often prepare entire meals! Every one of our older dc are grateful to have acquired skills in the kitchen!
Hurrah for family kitchen detail!!!
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juststartn
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Wow. I must be a mean mommy. Mine do the dishes. Probably, 95% of them (by hand for the moment, since the d/w is dead and we're waiting on buying a replacement til we can find one we know isn't going to, well, 'roll over and die on us' after 18 mos like this one did (a top of the line LG, no less).
I figure that while managing the home is my job, part of that job means preparing my children to manage their own homes. So we do what needs to be done, and discuss why we do what/how we do what we do. I figure, my job is to make myself obsolete. The girls can all run and do the laundry from start to finish (of course, I do not own dry clean only clothing, or things that have to get washed specially--everything goes in at one time, lol). The older two use the vacuum cleaner pretty well, and can do the dishes. The younger set helps to put the dishes away (at least, the ones in the bottom cabinets, so they aren't climbing up). As the official "home manager", I do a lot of delegation. Many hands make light work, yes? I delegate, supervise, etc.
I figure it is my job to make sure that their own homes run smoothly, that they don't leave home not knowing how to run a home the way I did (both boys and girls), or how to do what it takes. I'm teaching the girls how to make--and why we make them--homemade laundry soap, window cleaner, firestarters, and we'll soon be making some homemade dish liquid. Money savers, and easy, too. ANd they--the cleaners--do a pretty good job. The children do, too, lol.
I don't let it make me feel guilty. Because my job isn't just "do the work myself". Part of my job--a HUGE part of it--is preparing those children we've been blessed with, to be mature, responsible adults, who can run their own homes, whether they are single, married, called to religious life...lessons carry over pretty well.
That's my take on it, at least...
Rachel
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Michaela
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| Posted: Jan 29 2011 at 3:58pm | IP Logged
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Yes! I believe it was your reply in Considering quitting homeschooling where you shared the checklist that planted the seeds. At the time, I wasn't convinced, but I think it stayed in my thoughts as I struggled in the evenings.
leanne maree wrote:
| It is hard to get over the 'guilt', but once you have its very freeing. |
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Exactly, Leanne! "Freeing" I cannot think of a better word to describe it.
Becky Parker wrote:
| We started the exact same thing here Michaela! |
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Your experience sounds exactly like mine, Becky. I felt a little strange sitting down with DH and looking at my children doing the dishes, but....I got over it.
juststartn wrote:
| Wow. I must be a mean mommy. Mine do the dishes. |
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LOL You just knew where you needed help and didn't have a problem delegating!
My children all have chores, including helping mom or dad cook, but I was going about it all wrong .......or at least I wasn't getting the help where I REALLY needed it *and* would benefit the most.
Now the blessings from this change are obvious.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: Feb 01 2011 at 10:37pm | IP Logged
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Mimip wrote:
Question though, Did you make a checklist? |
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I do make a checklist. In this case, my daughter asked for it, as it was a bigger job than she's used to....so I think she knew she was a bit "in over her head" if she relied on her memory.
Also, it helps them to learn a logical way to clean. ie: make sure to wipe down all surfaces BEFORE you empty the hot, soapy water. Load the dishwasher BEFORE doing anything else, to get most things out of the way. Things like that. They are logical to us....but maybe not to them.
Currently, we have....
--7 yo clears off table and sweeps under table
--9.5 yo loads dishwasher
--8.5 yo does the rest of the checklist! Yea! That will be TWO children who can clean up the kitchen! LOVE IT! I think it calls for a few and some
Here's the checklist:
2011-02-01_223542_Kitchen_Clean_Up.pdf
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Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: A little bit of happiness
