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insegnante
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| Posted: Jan 19 2011 at 10:43pm | IP Logged
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I'd like to get an idea what other women of a similar state in life consider reasonable to spend on their personal appearance. I'm not sure dollar amounts are the best, but incomes vary so widely that percentages probably aren't either. I mean, numbers could be helpful but I'm just looking for ideas. Maybe just an idea of the size of wardrobe, including everyday casual, everyday "nice," special occasion clothes, etc., and how often you refresh those items (even if you don't change sizes or ruin anything.) How much makeup, skin care, etc. you have. How much you buy or how often you get haircuts, products, etc. And how much are you investing in "premium" products and services rather than basics? I'm trying to get an idea of say yearly budgets for these things.
This is coming from someone who's spent very little on her own appearance for several years, for various reasons. I don't accept the idea that I *need* to be stylish to "witness" to the general public, but can accept that a nice presentation is of some value both for the husband and for others I interact with.
Fitness btw is a different category in my mind since although expenditures can also vary widely there, it is a health issue (even if someone is engaging in exercise largely for appearance reasons!)
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Theresa
mommy to three boys, 3/02, 8/04, and 9/10, and a girl, 8/08
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 19 2011 at 11:08pm | IP Logged
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I spend a bit of money on perfume so that I can wear a spray at the back of my neck every day if I want (I try and remember to use it most days).. I just got some cheap makeup to see how I liked wearing it again after not doing so much.. I think I'd like to keep enough to wear on Sundays and special days.
clothes.. I tend to buy when I wear something out.. but I can manage to look nice.. but stylish is out of my reach.. never have been able to do that   so I'm not really looking for changing styles.. and things get worn or spotted or something around here..
There are some things I splurge on like good winter boots I will pay $150 on.. I'll get real silk long underwear for under my skirts both things that can last a good long time too so it's like an every 5+ year expense.. not every year.
I like having a couple of good skirts with tops and a dress or two for getting dressed up for Church or other things.. the tops can also be worn with denim usually so that I have the nicer than everyday but not dressy level too.
I hunt for things on sale.. I got myself 3 pairs of shoes last spring.. landsend overstocks.. I paid for 3 pairs what 1 pair normally would cost.. and probably less than buying cheaply made shoes.
My kids are probably better dressed (from handmedowns) than I am.. and dh's nice clothes aren't used as hard as mine are so his last forever 
So really I guess it's more keeping me up with the rest of the family.. and I try not to let the *feeling* of "having nothing to wear" talk me into buying extras.. I recently passed up a sweater and blouse I thought would make a couple of nice skirts I have much more useable.. but it wasn't a good time and well.. if I don't wear the skirts much without tops then they'll last until a better time for getting new tops right?
ETA I also use a nice liquid shower soap (or special bar soap) for myself.. though it's partly because my skin needs an extramoisturizing cleaner.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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stefoodie
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| Posted: Jan 19 2011 at 11:58pm | IP Logged
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I cut my own hair and shop thrift, mostly. I spend the most money on SHOES, because I have a bad back and can't afford to get bad shoes. I also shop every once in a while when a bunch of things from a fave catalog go on clearance.... like last year when I spent $160 at Coldwater Creek. But I haven't done that in YEARS. I shop for makeup once every couple of years, when that feeling comes of "I need to do something about my face!" Then I purchase the stuff (last time was ~$35, for a set of sample sizes at an organic makeup shop online) and the feeling goes away and I go back to my regular routine of.... nothing.
I do dress very traditionally -- my main colors are black, white/cream, red/hot pink (I'm a "winter" so those are my best colors). Plus jeans, dark-colored skirts (I have lots) and a few colorful things, like a favorite "man's shirt" in rainbow stripes. I have mostly solids, so I don't have to shop very often because I can have 8-12 "outfits" ready to go, from mixing and matching stuff.
I'm not really stylish as much as I am just plain decent.
Not very into perfume either, though I do like Joop. I used to like perfume more when I was younger, esp. as my mom was somewhat of a collector.
What's reasonable? Whatever your husband wants to spend on you  My hubby every once in a while will say, "Go buy yourself ____." Or, when we're out shopping and he notices me liking something, he'll say, "Get it!" But often my practical side asserts itself and 9 times out of 10 I don't. (If only I could be that disciplined about china.)
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Jan 20 2011 at 5:45am | IP Logged
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stefoodie wrote:
I do dress very traditionally -- my main colors are black, white/cream, red/hot pink (I'm a "winter" so those are my best colors). Plus jeans, dark-colored skirts (I have lots) and a few colorful things, like a favorite "man's shirt" in rainbow stripes. I have mostly solids, so I don't have to shop very often because I can have 8-12 "outfits" ready to go, from mixing and matching stuff.
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This sounds like me too. I remember reading a book, years ago, that was written about the various colors of seasons (warm vs cool) and how one should wear the colors within their season. That has helped me when I make clothing decisions. I would rather have a few good quality items that look decent on me than a closet of things I can't or wont wear (like mustard yellow).
I wonder if a persons "season" can change over time though? I never was able to wear anything "warm" until recently. (Anyone know anything about that?)
Don't mean to hi-jack here. I can start a new thread if this becomes a topic.
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Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: Jan 20 2011 at 6:43am | IP Logged
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Since I'm still in the season of weight fluctuations due to pregnancies, I haven't spent much on myself. Most maternity clothes are borrowed from friends, and even most of my bigger clothes for after the pregnancy are from friends. Once I get to a normal weight (and I enjoy it for about 6 months), I have several skirts and a couple jeans, one nice pair of black pants, and tan pants. My shirts are basic cottons in solids with a few others I've received as gifts. I don't wear dresses since I've been nursing a baby/toddler going on seven years now. I buy gym shoes about every two years since they are my staple footwear. My dress shoes are reserved for church or other outside the house events. I do wear sandles in the summer or go barefoot.
Overall, I probably spent about $100 a year on clothes, shoes, accessories for myself? I go to thrift stores and yard sales and we tend to trade clothes amongst my group of friends.
Make-up, I don't wear it everyday so it usually goes bad before I use it up. I just buy cheap stuff for those times when I want to glam up.
Hair - I don't color since it is so expensive and I have it cut twice a year (I trim it myself). I usually get these as a gift because my Mom can't stand that I let my hair get all grown out. She says I look better with shorter hair. I agree, but I can't afford $40 every 6 weeks for a hair cut.
Now, before children I went all out on my appearance - hair coloring, makeup daily, new lipsticks, new outfits. Of course, I was a working gal and we often went out to events and I also traveled some for work. I'm the complete opposite now and love it!
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Grace&Chaos
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| Posted: Jan 20 2011 at 9:41am | IP Logged
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mamaslearning wrote:
| Now, before children I went all out on my appearance - hair coloring, makeup daily, new lipsticks, new outfits. Of course, I was a working gal and we often went out to events and I also traveled some for work. I'm the complete opposite now and love it! |
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Definitely agree with this. Now, my wardrobe is predominately jeans and a few khaki's for cool weather and shorts for warmer. I splurge on a few tops twice a year to dress up the jeans. I'll ask for Ann Taylor gift cards for my birthday or Christmas and this helps my budget. If a special event happens then maybe I'll spend money on an appropriate outfit (rare).
I let my hair go for years and just recently started trimming my own and a couple of weeks ago decided to give my self a full haircut (I actually like it ).
I ask for some Clinique black honey lip gloss every year for my stocking. And really don't wear anything else. My in laws and sister will occasionally give me their "gift" kits when they splurge on makeup. This is plenty since I'll only wear makeup on rare special events.
I have a dear friend who makes very nice jewelery and have purchased a necklace from her once a year every time she has an open house. It helps dress up an outfit.
When I buy shoes I do spend the money on a good pair because I have bad feet and need the support. My dh used to tease me about being an Imelda Marcos but that has certainly changed over the years .
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Jenny
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 20 2011 at 11:01am | IP Logged
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oh hair.. I didn't think about that.. I wear mine long with bangs.. I can trim the bangs easily and once a year or so I get my sister to trim the rest.. but I wear it all one length so it's not a big deal.. and growing out doesn't make it look any different
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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LucyP
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| Posted: Jan 21 2011 at 8:34am | IP Logged
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(I live in England, btw, so have converted prices. I cut my own hair. I suppose I "splurge" on buying shampoo that is green and healthy for me (about $8 a bottle for shampoo and conditioner but lasts ages) and the children to share - same with soap, we use the same natural brand. But skin care is olive oil or homemade herbal oils/salves. My makeup is stuff I was given to review so I didn't need to buy that. My perfume is Chanel No. 5 but I am on the third year with a bottle that was a gift from DH.
Clothes - hmm, I don't know. I tend to keep things until they wear out. I have one skirt, two pairs of tights, several long socks, one cardigan, maybe half a dozen tops. My cardigan is about 14 years old but still looks okay. I wear the same tops all year, and add a cardigan when it gets to autumn/winter. I buy things on sale or cheaply - it is very pricey to go to thrift/charity shops here, and the clothes are not good quality usually. So I would spend maybe $10 on a second hand skirt or sweater that looked worn - so it seems better to buy new. My new skirt I got for Christmas cost around $50, which a good third more than I had in mind - but it was after much searching and I needed to get a long, dark denim skirt since I think that is most practical for me and goes okay with my tops. I find underwear most hard to afford - because nobody sees it and it is expensive to get a good, comfortable bra - so right now, I have no bras at all. I suppose I spend most on pjs and knickers as I find them so uncomfortable I am driven by desperation to try again and find something that doesn't make me want to scream - but I buy cheap and cheerful from the supermarket (maybe $50 a year - and have now accepted there is no comfort at this price range for me and just stopped even trying!)
I have one pair of long boots bought on sale (for just over $100 five or so years ago and soled/heeled since) and a pair of nice brand shoes bought at a discount store for around $45 and sandals that I paid about $30. I replace one pair of shoes a year (either sandals or shoes, rotating) as I walk a LOT and wear my shoes out, and they don't tend to be repairable like my boots. I need comfortable shoes/boots as I have bad feet and weak ankles and prioritise money here because walking is my main means of transport.
If DH could give me more money or I had a chance to earn more money I would definitely have more clothes, go to a hair dresser, scrimp less on perfume (a luxury I adore) and probably stop wearing my 6 year old glasses and get lenses again. I stopped spending money on myself as we got poorer and I had children to spend the money on but I do like to look nice, "normal" and put together and to have clothes that I actually like as opposed to tolerate - and not have comments about always wearing the same things! But I think, as long as I can avoid jealousy of people like my sisters who dress much more nicely than me, it does me good to have to be so simple and restricted.
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allegiance_mom
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| Posted: Jan 21 2011 at 9:34pm | IP Logged
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I buy clothes at thrift stores. I just can't pass up the bargains there! I can spend so little and look nice.
I buy makeup at Walgreens, usually when there is a sale. I try to save it for when I am leaving the house, so it lasts longer. I like this Neutrogena powder that is expensive so I try to be conservative!
I do pay to get my hair cut four times a year. It comes to $100 for the year with the tips.
I try to keep expenses reasonable and still look nice and presentable. I want to make my children and husband happy to be seen with me! We do not have much money, so it is a challenge. But I like a challenge!
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kingvozzo
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| Posted: Jan 22 2011 at 11:06am | IP Logged
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My hair is a bit of a vanity with me so I do pay to keep up with it. I've been getting it professionally colored for a couple of years now, after doing it myself for a long time. I found that I wasn't able to do an adequate job anymore. So every 5-6 weeks, off I go to get it cut/colored (I should even go about every 4-5 weeks b/c my hair grows so darn quickly, but I can't bring myself to go that frequently). I've recently started going to my stylist's home to get the services, so that's significantly less expensive, $50 as oppposed to $75 (not including tip  )
My wardrobe is a bit of a mess. I find myself not really ever wanting to buy clothes because I'm overweight and clothes really don't fit nicely. ALL my weight is in my belly (I look about 6 mos pregnant  and clothes are awful. But usually I'll buy a couple of shirts at Kohl's when the cooler weather starts and again when the warmer weather starts. Maybe $50-$75 2x a year?
Shoes, I've started spending $ on, because I, too have crummy feet. So I have 2 expensive ($100?) pairs of shoes I rotate through.
eta: i forgot makeup: My sister gave me a Bare Escentuals Mineral makeup starter set for my bday 15 months ago. (Maybe $60?) I thought it would be a splurge to keep up with it. I use it almost everyday, and I'm still working on the first kit. when I run out, I am def. planning on replacing it.
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SaraP
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| Posted: Jan 22 2011 at 11:09am | IP Logged
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Too much.
Very little on hair, skincare and makeup, maybe $100-$150 a year, but way too much on clothes. I like clothes, am hard on them and am fussy about how things fit. I do like to thrift-shop, but my kids are all under 10, my DH works very long hours and taking all these kids into thrift stores with their very narrow aisles and jam-packed shelves and racks is more than my nerves will stand. So thrift-shopping is a rare treat for me.
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Mimip
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| Posted: Jan 22 2011 at 11:48am | IP Logged
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So I have read this thread all week and have been thinking about a response but I am slow to answer this because of the real amount I spend on myself
Here goes:
I am like Noreen, my hair is my vanity. I was raised in a family and society where gray streaks were simply covered up as soon as possible so I have a very hard time with my grays. I started coloring my hair about 6 years ago and then when the simple color was starting to look weird ( I know some of you know that 2 inch gap that you get at the roots when your hair color starts to grow out ) I started to highlight my hair. So every 4 weeks I either color and cut or highlight my hair. I am really lucky though and my sister's best friend ( who is a professional sylist) comes to my house and does it for $50.
My clothes is another sticking point. When we lived in MN I was able to get away with much simpler clothes and shoes. People just don't get dressed up as fancy up there. Also in MN I was able to do yard sales (rare here) and consignment stores (none here for adults). It was so nice to be "fancy" with a nice skirt, shirt and sweater. That does not fly here in S. FLA. We get dressed up much more here. Even Sunday Mass is much more fancy and elegant. We also have a lot of family and friends functions that are often elegant. I spend about $400-$500 a year in clothes. I am very lucky as I often get gift certificates for my birthday and Christmas. Even my husband had to revamp his wardrobe after a few years here.
I spend about $150 a year on make-up and skin care. I buy it from a close friend who is a Mary Kay consultant. I only wear makeup on week-ends so it does not go that quickly.
Shoes are a joke since 90% of my time I'm in my croc flip flops  Maybe $50 a year? My Dad buys us shoes every summer at an outlet near his house. We each (all 6 of us) get to chose 3 pairs. He is such a great Dad to be so considerate of us.
Like I said in the beginning I spend a lot but there have been times and seasons of my life where I spent nothing because we simply could not afford it. ( There is a funny story about a pair of sneakers that will be for another time) And when I was pregnant and nursing ( our youngest is 3) I wore the same 3 Bravado bras for almost 3 years! I guess that's all to say that we are all in different seasons in our lives. 
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Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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Servant2theKing
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| Posted: Jan 24 2011 at 1:33pm | IP Logged
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I followed this thread with interest. I trim my own hair...don't color it (proud of my grey stripes, I've earned them)...no make-up (kind of a funny thing, my sister gifted me with make-up for my birthday a couple years ago, because she thought I didn't feel like I could spend money on it for myself, but the truth is I decided quite a few years ago to give up wearing it, in the hopes it might help me with humility)...buy almost all my clothes at thrift shops...get shoes every few years, usually whenever I can find them on clearance...usually stock up on underclothing and/or socks with tax money or during sales. I recently splurged on a pair of slightly used Ariat boots at www.shopgoodwill.com for around $44 (including S&H) and felt a little guilty spending so much (I would never have bought them for that price at the Goodwill stores, which made me question the logic of purchasing them online for that price). After wearing them, I'm very thankful I followed my instincts to purchase them...they have a balancing/stabilizer sole and I can really feel the difference walking in them! Even those of us who try to spend next to nothing on our own appearance have to invest in little extravagances once in awhile.
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LisaD
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| Posted: Jan 24 2011 at 9:11pm | IP Logged
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Well, I will confess, I now spend much more than I used to! But, I am 45, and our means and circumstances are much different than when I was 25 or 30. I have my hair cut and colored every 6-8 weeks...though I would really like to stop coloring...I like gray...I just don't know how to let it grow it gracefully! I recently lost my baby weight (my baby is five, btw), so I did buy more clothes than usual last year. I pretty buy clothes at Kohl's or Target, plus a few gently used items from friends. Makeup is Bare Escentuals every six months or so. The place where I do a lot of money is on shoes and bras. Once a year I get fitted and buy three bras, and I buy one or two pairs of really good shoes a year. I'm not sure what I spend on personl items total per year, but I would guess about $700ish.
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Maggie
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| Posted: Jan 25 2011 at 8:02pm | IP Logged
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We are very blessed to have a great Goodwill in our area.
For instance, I found an Ann Taylor black skirt NWT. The tags said $109.00. I got it for $4.00.
I found cute black satin NY&Co. black shoes...also paid $4.
My kids and I do most of our shopping at Goodwill...it is just so much more economical...and you can really find great stuff!
My dh has a very high profile corporate job--his clothing budget is high--but I understand the necessity of this. So the kids and my "budget" balance this out considerably.
I do like to remind my husband that he is very blessed to have a wife who actually likes to shop at Goodwill. He knows...and counts his blessings.
When I go into regular stores and see shirts for $20+ dollars, I cringe. I just can't bring myself to spend that kind of money--and I know that isn't even a lot compared to what you find in most malls.
Not to say I won't buy new clothing--but I find really good deals when I do "shop new"...and will always use coupons, if available. I found a $99 black velvet, very classy dress to wear to one of my husband's business functions...and with sale and coupon, did not spend more than $32.
It is quite possible to spend very little and still wear very nice things. Just a little proud of my deal-findings.
When I was a teen, I used to be so embarrassed that my mom bought so much stuff at thrift stores and garage sales...seems like this frugality has rubbed off on me. Glad it did.
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Wife to dh (12 years) Mama to dd (10) ds (8), dd (1), ds (nb) and to Philip Mary (5/26/09), Lucy Joy (12/6/09), and Margaret Mary (3/6/10) who entered Heaven before we had a chance to hold them.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: spending on clothes/appearance
