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robinhigh
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| Posted: Aug 10 2010 at 6:52pm | IP Logged
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Does anyone have anything to say to encourage the children about homeschooling? My daughter went to a Montessori public school from K-2... she loved it. She is always encouraged by others that she should go back to school, it would be so much better, she'd learn a lot more, etc, as they give me the "evil eye"... No one cares that she scored 97 on her CAT even though I only did the bare minimum because of moving, pregnancy, sickness, and stressful situations. She looks at me like I'm robbing her of so much. What can I tell her to encourage her? Even though my plans are side tracked right now, the material was burned up, we are stranded here.. I still know I am called to do this. Help.
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dinasiano
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| Posted: Aug 10 2010 at 7:13pm | IP Logged
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I really feel for you. First off, I will pray for you, especially during my rosary tomorrow.
Are you near any other homeschoolers? Meeting with other homeschooling families would be so beneficial for all of you. Sometimes I don't know if I would be able to do this without the support and friendships of others.
I am not sure what you are referring to about the material, but if you need materials, I would love to help you out if I can. Please PM me and let me know what you need- I may have some stuff here.
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Pilgrim
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| Posted: Aug 12 2010 at 8:37pm | IP Logged
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Yes, Robin, why don't you post the grades and subjects of study materials you need for your kids, and others can PM you if we have anything to help(as long as this would not be breaking any of the rules here, maybe you know more than I do, I'm hurrying to write this here). That is a start, and we will pray for this situation, too.
May the Holy Spirit guide you in what to say to your dd. I know how hard it can be in both circumstances, a reluctant homeschooler, and having not gotten much done in a year due to circumstances. The only difference is our dd wants to be home, and *does not* want to go to school she is just reluctant to study, partly due to inconsistency in schedule in recent times.
I believe there is a program that helps people in difficult circumstances to get homeschool books through Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA), maybe that would help if you could contact them. And also if you are not a member of HSLDA, especially with the kind of people you have criticizing your homeschooling it might be a good idea to join them. I know there is a foundation that will give free membership to HSLDA. You could find out about this as well if you contact HSLDA.
We will pray an extra Memorare for your intentions tonight! 
I know this doesn't answer your orig. question, I have to go spend our evening time with the kids, I'll try to think of things that have helped dd get on the bandwagon this year and post later.
God Bless.
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robinhigh
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| Posted: Aug 12 2010 at 9:57pm | IP Logged
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I think that would be against policy. 
Thank you for the advice and prayers... anything else you can think of for me to discuss with my dd would help too.
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Pilgrim
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| Posted: Aug 13 2010 at 7:25am | IP Logged
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I wonder if it is okay to do a wanted in the Trading Post Forum? i don't know, maybe you know? I'm getting ready to leave for an ultrasound, so i don't have time to research it, but i know so many here would love to help you.
I know it's probably hard right now to even give extra to encourage her with all the stress you've been under. Homeschooling is truly a *sacrifice* of love isn't it? It has been sooo hard at times to try to get dd going and motivated, but recently I had a pretty strong conversation with her, and told her that it was not fair to give me the extra stress of having to fight to get her going each day, and that she was old enough to get motivated and even come to me each day ready to do her studies, especially when I'm busy with little and running the business with dd.
One thing my mother and I remind each other of is to be confident in your parenting, know you are doing the right thing when you know it is what God desires of you for your children and keep on doing what you're doing. Your children will have asense of peace when you hold true to this, there is a peace in children, I have noticed when you confidently, and firmly, but with love stick to your guns.
What does your daughter like to do? Maybe you could try to take a little extra time with her, and help her to feel that family connectedness that is one thing she will not experience at school. I think that is one of the biggest things that our dd would not like about school, she is very connected to us, particularly me. I notice toto that when she is struggling if I take a liottle extra time with her, she does better on all fronts. Not every time, but most days. I know what you can do with her is probably limited, due to circumstances, but a little creativity, and you might be sursprised what you'll find. I know one thing that always cheers dd up is baking somwthing with me, even if it's a cheap boxed mix desert.
I know this all isn't much yet. I have to fly, I'll try to brainstorm and write more ideas that have helped dd later. God keep you in His Care!
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Teachin'Mine2
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When the other moms say these things to you in front of your daughter, what do you do? Do you just listen and not respond? If it was you alone, that can be fine, but if your daughter is hearing them and believing them, you need to set the record straight - in front of your daughter. Pull out some stats on how much better prepared for college the home schooled kids are. Mention about the spelling bee winners and how many of them are home schooled. Do fun stuff like visiting museums, or even going for walks and learning about nature, and be sure to mention these things. I don't mention my dd's scores on tests to others usually, but that might be a time I would. She needs to know that home schooling is better and that you feel confident about that. If you spoke about it, truthfully, most kids end up wanting to be home schooled. But it gets mothers saying things like "I could never do that because ..." 
I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. Utilize your local library to its fullest. You may even be able to suggest some titles that they could get, just don't refer to them as school books or texts, and they may pass undetected.  She's young, and there's so much learning that happens in life aside from specific texts. One day, hopefully soon, you'll be more settled and back on track. With your dd doing as well as she is, she'd be bored silly in regular school!
And I'm praying for you and your family.
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hylabrook1
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Robin - it is absolutely fine to ask what others are doing or using in schooling their children. The Living Learning forum has a good many posts asking and discussing that very question. Please feel very free to go there and look around or to post your request for input there!
Also, just yesterday or the day before at the Trading Post Cheryl was looking to sell "What Your ____ Grader Needs to Know" . Those might be a good source of scope and sequence type of ideas and topics. Our public library has that whole series, so maybe you can use them for free from your library. The Trading Post also frequently has "Want to Buy (WTB)" posts, so if you're looking for something specific, that might be a good way to locate it. I've also seen people make offers of *free* materials there, so maybe those who respond to WTB posts you might make would be open to negotiating.
You have also received some great suggestions from others of ways to make your school-days fun, interesting, and not so very hum-drum ! Go for it!
Peace,
Nancy
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JodieLyn
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You may also want to talk to your daughter away from others. Talk to her about why your family homeschools and will continue to do so.
You can't expect her to stand up for a decision she knows nothing about.
You can even stand up to the others instead of letting them go on and on by simply saying something like "excuse me, that is a decision that our family will make and is not open for public debate".
It'll make your daughter feel much more secure in homeschooling if you don't look like you're afraid of what others say.. but at the same time she is your daughter and others don't get a say in a family decision.
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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mom3aut1not
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Robin,
I know that two of my kids found schools attractive at one or another. (The third one loathed school, and the fourth one thinks that school is similar to the Spec Ed preschool he visited -- legos, snacks, and outdoor playtime....)
With my oldest, I knew that school would be a terrible choice, and I was later backed up by professionals. I just had to hang tough, and tell her I hsed because I loved her. In retrospect, with a more typical child, I would do things that ps kids can't do -- visit parks in the middle of the day, go to nature centers (if any are around you now), have her work in her jammies, have a lemonade (or cocoa) and cookie break during school, etc., and make sure I emphasize how fortunate she is.
Are there any hsed girls around there your dd's age? That might also help if she has a peer on her side as it were.
As for the people who not only challenge your parental choices but also undermine your parental authority by addressing your daughter instead of you, I would try to have a prepared answer or two ready. (I hate dissension, but sometimes you have to have it.) It is so rude for them to do that. There are lots of people whose choices I disagree with, but I would not appeal to their children to go against their parents or undermine the parents' authority.
Hoping the situation improves,
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Deborah
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guitarnan
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My dd (who only went to a traditional preschool and has been learning at home since K - she is going into 8th) still feels the tug toward traditional school because she thinks she'd have more "fun" time with friends there. I encouraged her to ask her friends how much time they have for socializing during school...
...uhhhh.... 
She now says she "pretty much likes" learning at home. With her crazy dance schedule, I can't imagine that traditional school would be fun, and she is starting to mature enough to see that for herself.
It does take time for children to see that the so-called greener grass on the other side of that educational fence is, in fact, not so green and takes more time to care for, so to speak.
Deborah makes a good point - rehearsing a response to adult criticism (couched in positive terms) is very, very helpful. I know that my own extended family responded positively to my description of a teasing/bullying-free school year as an incentive to learn at home...and within three months, from another continent (!) the same family members could tell that my older child was much, much happier learning at home. (He had more friends, too!) I had to advocate for him at first, just as you will for your dd, but eventually her positive self-image will speak for itself.
I agree, too, with Nancy - some library systems have great homeschool resources. If your county doesn't, you could check with a neighboring county. Asking about resources here would help you narrow down your book options.
Also, it would help to know the ages and approximate grade levels of your children...thanks!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Pilgrim
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| Posted: Aug 14 2010 at 10:40am | IP Logged
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What things does she feel robbed of by not going to school, and which of those can you replace with a positive alternative in your homeschooling? Is it activities at school, friends, the order of a classroom, etc? I agree also with Deborah, try to do things with her that she can't in school, and create a new atmosphere that she likes that is a positive alternative to school. She will probably always have some sense of loss at not going to school and having what she liked about school, but it can fade more and more when she can see the positives there are in homeschooling. I think we all can tend to feel that way about things we no longer have in our life that we enjoyed, such as a group of friends we had, a parish we used to attend, the choir we used to be in, the freedom we had when single, etc. When dh and I feel that we talk together about all the good things we have now and try to appreciate life as it is now.
One activity that can help when a child feels this way is to write lists of, or even just discuss(I like to write these lists because we find them later and it's a renewing reminder of it all), ALL the things we are thankful for, all the goood things in life, the wonders of God's creations, the awesome things we are blessed with in the Catholic Faith, all we have above and beyond so many others in the world, etc.
These kind of discussions can be one of the most touching moments in homeschooling, when you see the lights go on in your childs eyes, and they catch the excitement/joy of a subject. Sometimes teaching dd can be hard as she struggles with her studies off and on. The other dy though was one of the brightest moments and really uplifted me, as we discussed all the many, many plants and creatures God created out of nothing in a few short days, and how complex and amazing each one is. I was amazed as she listed all these creatures and plants and looked so amzed and awed at God's awesomeness. These are the kinds of things that dd will not have in school, those awesome moments where you can have one on one awe inspiring moments together.
A list from dd of pros of homeschooling: don't have to be gone ALL day at school and then have homework as well, can get studies done as quick as she wants not having to wait for a whole class, get more breaks, don't get made fun of or bullied by other kids as much, get to be with family more, know who my teacher is every year and love my teacher, I always have a nice teacher, can do my studies in the order I like sometimes, get to go places during the day, can take more field trips, can stop at a park during the day when we are out, can take a vacation anytime we want, can lern to cook during the day or anytime we want, have more timeto read favorite books, can choose the subjects and books with Mom each year, not just what the school chooses for her, can play with my puppy on my breaks, get to choose my friends instead of my classmates being chosen for me, can make a special lunch or have a tea party lunch when we want, can get my chores done during the dy instead of having to do them after a long day at school, I get to see grandma and grandpa or other visitors who stop by during a school day instead of missing the visit being at school, can join my younger brothers and sisters in fun during the day instead of missing them, I don't have a whole class of other kids distracting me during studies, can go out to play in the rain spur of the moment when it rains, can go to a church to see Jesus during the day which couldn't do if in school etc.
I kno there are many more to the list, and maybe having a discussion of the pros of homescooling will encourage your dd.
One thing that is so beautiful that you can pass on, that she will never learn in school, is the beautiful Truths of our Faith, which I know you pass on to her beautifully from things you have said before. You can help her to see that there is so much good she can learn with you at home about the Faith and loving God, that is never taught in public school.
I admire you for sticking to the call you feel to give your children the gift of homeschooling even through all you guys have been through. I remember a book for fathers that said a mother seldom receives the praise or thanks she deserves for all se does in the home and teaching her children. Dads receive a review at work and their boss or other employees will give them encouragement on a job they did at times, but a mother rarely receives this. Children in general do not naturally do this until they are older. I just wanted to encourageyou that you are doing so much in teaching your precious children as you do!
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Encouragement for children
