| Author | |
Chris V
Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 03 2009
Location: Washington
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1598
|
| Posted: Aug 01 2010 at 11:49pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
I'm just wondering aloud. How do you all feel about providing snacks for your little-ones during Mass (say the 4 and younger crowd)? I have a couple of different perspectives on the topic and wanted to get feedback from others.
I've given snacks to my little, little ones in the past (with something simple as O-type cereal or small bits of cubed cheddar cheese, something doesn't make noise or when stepped on it is easy to scrape up), and even a sippy cup to help wash it all down, all in the name of keeping them quiet and happy. And when I've done so, I've always felt terribly ashamed and embarrassed about handing out food in Church, afterall, it is not the time, nor the place to be eating. And of course naysayers and onlookers with scowling faces of disapproval always make me question my judgement in the snack department.
It has been a few months since I've done this, and now I feel pretty firm about not doing it again. I suppose I feel it is inappropriate. But mostly it's because my youngest is 15 months old and will scream to the fiery depths of hell if a) she runs out of snacks or b) anyone takes them away (although she's perfectly willing to eat crayons in lieu of actual edibles).
This morning I saw a mother today at Mass, handing out full bags of animal crackers to her children, all of her children (not just the littles), and it was a spectacle of a buffet of food shared, as though it was Sunday picnic time, not Sunday worship time. I was a bit put off by it (though kept those thoughts silent and was sure not to stare or give her any outward expression of disapproval on my part - nobody wants to be judged by others, having been on the receiving end of this in the past). But it reaffirmed my view of no-snacks during Mass for the littles.
So how do you feel about snacks for your little ones during Mass? Am I being a little too rigid about this?
__________________
Chris
Happy Wife with my Happy Life
Mama to My Five Girls ('04~'07~'09~'11~'11) 
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
folklaur
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2816
|
| Posted: Aug 02 2010 at 1:26am | IP Logged
|
|
|
for little-littles - like 3 and under - i would totally have a sippy cup and cheerios-type thing. (I'd likely sit in back, tho, but I sit in back anyhow.....)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
CatholicMommy
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2007
Location: Indiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1254
|
| Posted: Aug 02 2010 at 3:05am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I DID give my son snacks when he was younger (under age 2) and we sat WAY in the back and only served the food in the vestibule - never in the sanctuary itself.
However, I would NOT do it again. The fact is, his behavior was so much better when we sat up front and we're not going to eat food (just like you had: O-cereal and sippy cup with milk or water) in front of the priest! So the food was nixed - but he was fine because he had attention elsewhere. I just had to make sure to feed him before Mass is all.
Now, nursing babies under 6 months - YES, I will nurse them; but otherwise, they can usually be nursed beforehand as well.
Since the time my son was a baby, I've taken multiple other children to Mass, including many children who are not Catholic or not even Christian at all - children of all ages - and we've just not found a need for eating during Mass (exception being babies under 6 months!).
But will I judge someone else? I hope not! I know I'm not inwardly judging - I pray it doesn't seem as judging on the outside!
The thing is, if we're going to tell our children that Jesus is the best and greatest food we have in this life - and this one hour or so every week (presuming no daily Masses) is dedicated to Him, is it not confusing to be giving the little ones food?
Again - no judging (I was never judged for that, but for other things) - just where I have come on this journey of parenthood 
__________________
Garden of Francis
HS Elementary Montessori Training
Montessori Nuggets
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Erin
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 23 2005
Location: Australia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5814
|
| Posted: Aug 02 2010 at 4:48am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I don't, although I will take a sports water bottle for long Masses such as the Vigils.* Temperatures are VERY high at Christmas Vigil and with all the extra bodies it soars.
Another thought to consider, a friend of mine gave her 5 yr old food and I'll admit it made it tricky for my little ones to see their friend munch in front of them and not be allowed to share.
__________________
Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mathmama
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 07 2006
Location: Pennsylvania
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 771
|
| Posted: Aug 02 2010 at 5:50am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I have never brought snacks to church. Our kids always have a nice breakfast before liturgy especially once they have weaned, so I think they can last 2 hours without eating (our liturgy is long). Nursing kids are allowed to nurse, obviously, since they may not be eating breakfast or a very hearty breakfast yet. We also do not bring any drinks. I guess there are those children that have some sort of issue and can't go 2 hours without eating. In that case I would give the child a hearty snack right before going into church and have something for immediately after. I am super firm about no food/drink in church.
Our kids are allowed to bring a quiet doll or stuffed animal to church, but they know if it becomes too much of a distraction during liturgy it will be placed in the pew in front of us. If they wanted I would let them bring a religious book, but they generally just like to look at the pew books. I have also given up on "getting anything" out of liturgy myself. I feel called to make the most out of liturgy for my children. This means helping them to participate at an age appropriate level. I worship Jesus by teaching my children to worship Him. It has worked great for us so far. Of course, the Byzantine liturgy is quite engaging and really makes my job not so hard. All the senses are engaged and that helps the littles stay as focused as they can.
__________________
Beth, wife to Tom and mommy to 4 beautiful girls:
Therese 11/04
Anna Mary 6/07
Veronica 10/09
Theodora 11/12
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
|
| Posted: Aug 02 2010 at 6:44am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Beth, you make such a good point! We're not always there to "get anything" out of the liturgy...giving our children the beautiful gift of our holy Faith is why we're there WITH them. Thanks so much for pointing this out.
I have raised one power nurser and one grazing runaround child. I've spent a lot of time in the vestibule/gathering space! It's depressing sometimes, when the sound system isn't working well or everyone else is noisy along with my own child, but I have always told God, "Hey, I got here," - and trusted Him to do the rest.
We've done the snack thing (quiet food, nursing okay), but I moved away from it with dd because it was distracting her from behaving well. She did better with books and, later, Magnifikid.
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JennGM
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 17702
|
| Posted: Aug 02 2010 at 6:55am | IP Logged
|
|
|
We do no food. If we're running late, I'll fill a baggie with o-type cereal to eat before Mass, but not to bring into church. I do think that if you bring it, they will think it's okay and start demanding, but laying down the line at the beginning will establish a good habit.
We bring lots of books, and with my little one I'll even bring his favorite blanket and animal that calms him down.
Our parish has asked specifically from the pulpit and bulletin to NOT bring food or drink of any kind, except nursing or baby's bottles. We've had pest control problems because of the crumbs. And now that we are moving into a brand new church, they really want to keep the "destruction" down.
To offer a different perspective and reason to avoid bringing food, it is really difficult if you have a child with food allergies to be around different food at church. In the early days, my son would react to just residue, which could be on the pews from hands and such. To see families with foods that were definitely something that could cause a reaction right in front of us was upsetting and toally distracting for me.
__________________
Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mathmama
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 07 2006
Location: Pennsylvania
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 771
|
| Posted: Aug 02 2010 at 7:08am | IP Logged
|
|
|
JennGM wrote:
To offer a different perspective and reason to avoid bringing food, it is really difficult if you have a child with food allergies to be around different food at church. In the early days, my son would react to just residue, which could be on the pews from hands and such. To see families with foods that were definitely something that could cause a reaction right in front of us was upsetting and toally distracting for me. |
|
|
I didn't bring this up because I wasn't sure others would understand, but this is a HUGE issue with me. My Anna Mary reacts to just residue. Last summer we were visiting family and a child in front of us was eating and I was so distracted because the child kept turning around and reaching for Anna Mary who was standing on the kneeler. To top it off, another week at that parish they were selling PEANUTS!!! outside the church BEFORE Mass for a fundraiser. I had a hard time finding a pew that I felt safe sitting in. What a nightmare, but that was a little bit of a different issue than children eating in church.
__________________
Beth, wife to Tom and mommy to 4 beautiful girls:
Therese 11/04
Anna Mary 6/07
Veronica 10/09
Theodora 11/12
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mackfam
Board Moderator
Non Nobis
Joined: April 24 2006
Location: Alabama
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 14656
|
| Posted: Aug 02 2010 at 7:24am | IP Logged
|
|
|
mathmama wrote:
| I am super firm about no food/drink in church. |
|
|
Same here.
We don't bring food or drink in to Mass.
Nursing is a different story.
If a child is hungry and I was running behind I might bring snacks for little people in the car on the way to Mass as Jenn does. And, I have been known to bring our water bottles filled with lemonade for in the car after Mass. But snacks do not go in before the Blessed Sacrament. Ever.
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
sewcrazy
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 17 2006
Location: Illinois
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 735
|
| Posted: Aug 02 2010 at 7:33am | IP Logged
|
|
|
No snacks allowed at Mass in our family.
I have spent too many years on the cleaning committee scraping smashed gummi bears and smushed chocolate out of the pews and carpet to ever consider allowing mine to eat in church  We have pest problems in our church, so it has to be vacuumed after every Mass. 
__________________
LeeAnn
Wife of David, mom to Ben, Dennis, Alex, Laura, Philip and our little souls in heaven we have yet to meet
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: Aug 02 2010 at 8:12am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I don't give snacks to the kids.. with one exception.
When I have a seriously teething infant I will slip some o cereal into my own pocket so that I can pop them into the little ones mouth to chew on which keeps the little one much happier because it feels good on their sore mouth. But there's no mess because the child never has control of the food.. I've never found anything to help near as much and we get through Mass so much easier. It's a very short lived phase.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
CatholicMommy
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2007
Location: Indiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1254
|
| Posted: Aug 02 2010 at 10:53am | IP Logged
|
|
|
mathmama wrote:
Our kids always have a nice breakfast before liturgy especially once they have weaned, so I think they can last 2 hours without eating (our liturgy is long).
Our kids are allowed to bring a quiet doll or stuffed animal to church.
Of course, the Byzantine liturgy is quite engaging and really makes my job not so hard. All the senses are engaged and that helps the littles stay as focused as they can. |
|
|
This is where we've moved as well - a hearty meal for those too young for Communion or those young guests who are not Catholic) - and snacks available in the car for before/after. Anyone who needs occupying can have a quiet stuffed animals (even books can be loud as I found the hard way!)  and drawing is absolutely out even with colored pencils (clicking).
We are attending our first Byzantine Liturgy on Saturday the 8th  I am very excited!
The only thing different I've found thus far is that when the children are prepped beforehand and then the adults focus all their attention on the liturgy/Mass, the child soon learns that he/she is NOT the center of the universe: Jesus is - and we are there for him. And their behavior and focus drastically improve.
__________________
Garden of Francis
HS Elementary Montessori Training
Montessori Nuggets
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
LucyP
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 05 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 791
|
| Posted: Aug 02 2010 at 1:33pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
No we don't do snacks either. Or drinks (but I would have a bottle with me when DD was a very small baby). Just a cloth dolly, and maybe holy cards or a mass book for during the homily.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SusanMc
Forum Pro
Joined: Jan 21 2008
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 192
|
| Posted: Aug 02 2010 at 1:47pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
We don't do snacks at all. I make sure to give them a breakfast, small home snack, and a snack bag for the car. After mass they get a lollipop and have the remainder of their snack bags in the car. It is a major distraction for our boys when other kids are eating, drinking or playing with inappropriate toys (lunchbox full of matchbook cars, etc.). I used to pack mass bags full of religious items but now find that one book per child is plenty and our parish has children's missals so that does it for us. BTW our boys are 3 and 1.5.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
RyaneM
Forum Pro
Joined: July 13 2006
Location: New York
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 290
|
| Posted: Aug 02 2010 at 2:24pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thanks for this thread, Chris. I have been having a heck of a time with my 18 month old at Mass these days. Trying to keep him still and quiet is SO hard. DH usually ends up taking him out part way through. I'd love to hear suggestions for this age.
__________________
Ryane in NY
Mama to ds (3/05), ds(1/09) and dd (4/10)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SuzanneG
Forum Moderator
Joined: June 17 2006
Location: Idaho
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5465
|
| Posted: Aug 02 2010 at 2:27pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Super firm here too. We've never given snacks or drink at Mass, and never will.
__________________
Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Chris V
Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 03 2009
Location: Washington
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1598
|
| Posted: Aug 02 2010 at 2:31pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
SusanMc wrote:
| I used to pack mass bags full of religious items but now find that one book per child is plenty |
|
|
This is exactly what I have found to be true with my girls, the more we bring, the more there is to fuss over. I've moved in the direction of simplicity; one book each (of their choosing). And for my 15 month old, as of late, she's been content to continually apply and reapply my transparent lipbalm for the better part of 45 minutes  .
What I found with the snacks (besides it not being appropriate in the sanctuary) was the bickering it caused between my two youngest (3.5 and 15 months old); my 5.5 year old is truely wonderfully behaved all throughout Mass and prefers to sit in the front row, so that she can see everything. Accomodating this for her has actually improved the behavior of my 3 year old (who must clearly sense the responsibilty of being better behaved when all eyes are on her).
Thank you, all! It's nice to hear perspectives from others.
__________________
Chris
Happy Wife with my Happy Life
Mama to My Five Girls ('04~'07~'09~'11~'11)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Snacks at Mass
