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MotherHen
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| Posted: May 24 2010 at 1:46pm | IP Logged
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Dear family in Christ,
The priest that was very instrumental in my conversion to the RCC, married my husband and I , and baptized both of our children has recently resigned from our parish after admitting to some indecent behavior that I would rather not go into the specifics of.
This has touched my entire family deeply but for me has been especially hard because I really do credit this (what I still have a hard time seeing any other way) holy man with helping me along the road to Christ - especially accepting Christ in the Eucharist.
I am praying for him and for the parish and it does help, but I still feel very lost and sad. Forgive me, I really don't know how to express what I am feeling in words. My husband and I have talked about it a lot and are thankful that our children are still small enough that we can get away with just telling them that Father had to go someplace else.
Mostly I am just wondering if anyone here has been through something similar and what helped you and your parish heal.
In Christ's love,
Marie
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 24 2010 at 2:32pm | IP Logged
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 It's very difficult when those we think we know do things that seem out of character to us.
But we're all humans and subject to sin. Every one of us needs the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Stepping down from his position was an honorable thing to do, though sad.
And we do need to seperate the humanness of the people in the Church from the truths of the Church. Someone's sins don't negate the truths that are believed and taught by that person.
Praying for healing for you and your parish.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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guitarnan
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| Posted: May 24 2010 at 2:41pm | IP Logged
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Marie,
I've been through something like this and it is so very hard to understand. What made it worse for me, personally, was that no one had any indication at all that anything was wrong - and then, suddenly, everything was wrong. 
I do think that time and prayer have been my best friends in this particular case. Time allowed me to see that it was okay not to have seen this coming, if that makes sense. And prayer allowed me to focus on the needs of others - parishioners, friends and those most hurt by the specific situation.
One of the things I love most about the Catholic faith is its direct transmission from Christ to His Church, through St. Peter and his successors. There's no question that the Church is founded upon truth and upon Divine Revelation. Human frailties can't change the teachings of the Church. Just as we've had less-than-holy Popes in our (thankfully distant) history, and the teachings of the Church survived, so, too, will they survive now.
And, very importantly, our Holy Father is at the forefront of the effort to protect Christ's Church and to strengthen the faith of all of us - bishops, priests, religious and laity. He is encouraging all of us to pray for healing and to turn to Christ. It sounds as though you're doing that, and I'm hoping that you will feel consoled as you continue to pray.
I will pray for your family and your parish during this difficult time, Marie.
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: May 24 2010 at 2:51pm | IP Logged
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I'm so very sorry that you are suffering a loss and feeling sad. I would guess that many of us have faced similar challenges with people who we have admired, loved, and followed. It can take awhile to re-orient oneself...to adjust to any sudden blow.
My experience has shown me that these blows, once the sting wears off, are full of blessings. We can be most grateful, and give credit, to everyone who is a conduit of God's grace for us, leading us ever closer to Him. Yet, we can learn how to separate the human conduit of God's grace from His grace. Ultimately, it is God who calls us and gives us the grace we need to keep our eyes upon Him more and more each day.
Praying really is the main thing that I have found helpful. Staying away from discontent and gossip at the parish level is also important. Giving extra attention to the duties of my vocation also helps...keeps my attention on my highest priorities which also help to keep me out of trouble.
Trust in the Lord with all of your might. May all suffering be directed toward learning, healing, and the salvation of souls. May His perfect will be done with complete trust in His divine providence.
Praying for you and all involved .
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Servant2theKing
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| Posted: May 24 2010 at 3:23pm | IP Logged
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It has helped me a great deal to contemplate how deeply sin has touched our entire world in recent decades. I don't know a single family that hasn't been wounded or touched in some way by very serious sins. It makes sense that the family of God would not escape the devasatating effects of all that afflicts our world today. If we consider the immense spiritual good that even one single priest can bring to the lives and souls of others, then surely they are not immune to the kinds of temptations and sins we all struggle with...in fact they are even more likely to be continually bombarded with greater spiritual attack than we can even imagine. I have been deeply touched with the realization that we as laity have a profound obligation to faithfully uphold our priests in prayer. Yes, they will fall, and even fail us, but just as we go to Christ, through His priests, for Mercy and Forgivenenss, we too need to pray for the grace to show them Mercy as well. May the Lord bring healing and grace to all those struggling in such situations. Sin can be truly devastating, but God's Grace and Mercy are always greater! Marie, it is natural to grieve, sometimes very deeply, when someone we trust has wounded or failed us....may the Lord bless you as you grieve through this painful situation. Praying for the Holy Spirit to comfort and guide you, and all those involved.
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All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
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Kathryn
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| Posted: May 24 2010 at 6:43pm | IP Logged
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Marie,
I don't believe my story relates on many levels but just to say that our parish priest was a convert from Episcopalian and therefore already married when he became Catholic. He served our parish most faithfully and was an exceptionally devout Catholic with much wisdom (from my viewpoint) for at least the 13+ years we were there before he was "reassigned". Our only understanding was that he was going through a divorce but obviously not many details were provided. He had 3 children and being a child of divorce, I always take such news as a crushing disappointment. Then of course there were many rumors about how he was proceeding about his new career path and life outside the priesthood. Of course, I don't know of any truths related to those.
However, I can relate to the feelings that this person you held in such high esteem and regard has let you down. I believe it does cause on some level a personal questioning of our faith and the way things are. Then, like the others have said, I had to realize that he wasn't a man without sin and remembered the basics of our Faith...the things we believe that came long before this particular man and will be here long after him. This led me to pray for him for a very long time and deepen my faith on a more profound level that is now stronger. I wish so many others that have been hurt esp. by priests could still find the beauty and perfection in our faith but I can only imagine how deep that hurt is when it's so personal.
Hopefully this will draw you closer to Christ.
God Bless,
__________________
Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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Sarah
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| Posted: May 24 2010 at 10:22pm | IP Logged
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That is so devastating. However, remember to see the things you liked about him and the Truths he led you to embrace as good. He is made in the image and likeness of God and thus is still good. He most likely believed those Truths but some complicated issue led him to not be able to fully live what he led you to believe. I'm sure he feels such shame in his dual life. You must see that he is not the perfect Church. He is a flawed man and how hard to have let so many people down. You must hand over your pain to God to work toward forgiving him. Try to still respect the office of the priesthood, even if your respect for this person has failed. His office and the indelible mark upon his soul remains as it is a calling from God. When we have reverence for a priest it is for his office, not him. He can only try with his human frailty to uphold the office with the perfection of Our Lord. Forgive him. There may be very great sorrow from his childhood or an addiction or something that has caused him pain. Its a hard lesson to figure out where we belong in the Church.
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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KauaiCatholic
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| Posted: May 25 2010 at 12:19am | IP Logged
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Marie, my heart goes out to you. in the time since I read your post and was trying to formulate a coherent, meaningful response, others wrote in with great advice. so I'll let their words help guide you while I simply commiserate.
the wonderful priest who led our college church community for many years left the Church in order to marry. he had been such an instrumental part of the faith journey of so many of us that it was a real blow; his decision was particularly devastating to those who were led to Catholicism by him, or whose marriages he had performed. personally, I struggled for some time with feelings of abandonment and had to work to remind myself that priests are, firstly, men and not THE CHURCH (if that makes sense). but that took some time.
I just looked back at your post and realized you asked what helped with the healing. in addition to all the advice that has already been given, I will add this: time. allow yourself the time and space needed to grieve this loss. for my DH and I, and our college faith community, it really was like mourning a death. and it followed many of the same steps. so be kind to yourself in this process.
I will be praying for you and all those affected by this.
__________________
 Viviane
Grateful mama of Jonah Augustine ('01), Sophia Marie ('05) and Luke Dominic ('10)
We can do no great things; only small things with great love. -- Blessed Teresa of Calcutta
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MotherHen
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| Posted: May 26 2010 at 10:51am | IP Logged
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Dear Ladies,
Thank you for your heartfelt replies and the time it took to write them. I know how personal this subject is and deeply appreciate it.
I need to see the truths that this priest taught me and what I admired about him as separate from his sin. This pretty mush crystallizes what needs to be done to heal from this and move on. It doesn't help that it seems to be the norm that these types of things happen very abruptly. It is like a death almost. I would have liked to have the time to stop by with my entire family and say goodbye to him and let him know that we are so thankful for what he taught us and that he has our continued prayers.
God can make the most sinful of men a messenger for His love and peace - and that is so amazing. We are all sinners and needy of the Grace of God as well as the prayers of others.
Thank you again for your words and prayers.
Marie
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Servant2theKing
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| Posted: May 28 2010 at 12:39pm | IP Logged
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Dear Marie, your post has been very much on my heart and you have remained in my prayers. The link to a post below, from the BLOG of a very faithful priest, has inspired the idea that we ought not allow our prayers for priests to lessen as the Year for Priests comes to a close. Instead, we should, as much as possible, foster even greater prayer support for our beloved priests, all the days of our lives, and theirs.
Impossible to Man's Power But Not To God's
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All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Very hurt and sad over scandal in church.
