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Connections
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| Posted: Dec 30 2009 at 9:32am | IP Logged
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I was pondering...
If you could not find Catholic homeschooling families to connect with, would you focus on finding Catholic families or homeschooling families to cultivate friendships for your family?
Why?
Looking forward to your thoughts.
_____________
Tracey
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florasita
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| Posted: Dec 30 2009 at 11:35am | IP Logged
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I used to pray we'd have catholic homeschoolers as friends oh so many yrs ago . Then we met them and most were based on image and not who they appeared to be at all . I discovered not to base good people or families by thier religion lifestle etc. until we got to know them . This whole group of catholic homeschoolers here are very contemptful and also have thier children partake in a group run by a known abuser . To them it dosen't matter as long as thier outside appearance appears holy . discernment is seeing things for what they are not as they appear to be , this is most important when exposing our children .
when I let go of my streotypes and expectation on what a holy catholic family and good homeschool family should be . We connected with families from all places , all religions etc. Wow did He open the door ! He sent me the most wonderful homeschool catholic mum friend I could ever hope for or dream of . My dear friend Mary even had been in my same circle of homebirthing , holistic group of friends for yrs but we'd never been introduced . She has 4 boys and 2 girls just like me  ! she is so so holy . she sees her faults and owns them , she is the most giving lady I know . she is a born and raised catholic lady and has no contempt what so ever in her heart and does not focus on outer image but the inside stuff  oh how blessed I am ,blessed we are as a family . Our children love thier friends be they catholic or pagan its the person they are that forms the friendship . I feel overflowing with gratitude when I think of her and the gift she is to me .
so from my experience no I would not ever again personally seek out catholic homeschool families. in the end people are people and some are not who they appear to be , catholic or not .
We have groups here for homeschoolers that do field trips etc. I would join something like that and see who God sends you via outings and lessons etc. we do game night , jamming night etc. I want to start a kids poetry & story telling club too . Things like this gives you exposure but you are not required to form anything more than a civil cooperative relationship with other members . If you and your kids do meet and bond with another family then that will be a bonus .
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May I forever remember to be a Light
May Peace Love & Hope be My Sight
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SusanJ
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| Posted: Dec 30 2009 at 11:43am | IP Logged
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Hm. I've had groups of friends that were one or the other and all three. While I was definitely the most happy all around when our friends were both I think that the homeschooling (but not Catholic) group was a better fit than the Catholic (but not homeschooling). We had more lifestyle things in common: similar schedules, similar ideas about cultural influences, similar mode of Dad involvement in family life. It probably helped that the group was religious diverse. Three families were serious about their respective faith traditions and three families were pretty much non-religious but not hostile about us practicing our faith. It would not have worked the same, I don't think, if I had been the only religious person in the group or the only Catholic.
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Life Together
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folklaur
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| Posted: Dec 30 2009 at 11:50am | IP Logged
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is this bad? i just look for *nice* families, with kids my kids click with.
i don't care if they are Catholic, or homeschooling, or whatever.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Dec 30 2009 at 11:51am | IP Logged
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I think you could do both. You'll have times when you're at Church that you'll be around people who are Catholic and then when you're doing other things you may be around people who are many things.
We've found that the only other Catholic family in town that homeschools, well we pretty much shadow each other. Our kids do simliar activities. We have a small homeschool group. And basically once you have enough things in common in a small town.. you also end up at the grocery store at simliar times etc. 
But then there's several families where the men are all part of the volunteer fire department, including my sister's family that we get together with for things as well. We're the only Catholics. Consider it time to practice ecumenism.
I guess I don't so much go looking for families because of who they are.. but rather because of what we have in common. If there's a family you know because you're always doing _____________ at the same time.. maybe it's your kids playing soccer or your dh's work together. Then you have common ground to build on.
So my suggestion for cultivating friends is to get out there and do things that your family enjoys and other people who enjoy those same things will be around to get to know.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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SusanJ
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| Posted: Dec 30 2009 at 11:57am | IP Logged
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I should add that the group of friends I mentioned above I first got to know because we were all in the same two food co-ops. After running into each other over bulk food purchases and dozens of eggs we discovered gradually that our kids were all the same age and we all wanted to home school. So, I guess I agree with Jodie. I had forgotten that homeschooling wasn't the first reason I was friends with those moms.
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Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
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Bookswithtea
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One consideration...it helps to find friends that are not too far from your home. My ds's best friends live anywhere from 40-80 miles away, one way. It makes things hard for get togethers, sleep overs, etc.
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Christine
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Bookswithtea wrote:
| One consideration...it helps to find friends that are not too far from your home. My ds's best friends live anywhere from 40-80 miles away, one way. It makes things hard for get togethers, sleep overs, etc. |
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I agree. I was just mentioning to my husband that we are only friends with one or two families who actually live in our city.
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Christine
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Nina Murphy
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Can I add a third consideration? I find that it is not Homeschoolers alone or Catholics alone that I find the most in common with, but those who are "open to life" or whatever term works to describe those (struggling to be) obedient to the Church's teachings on marriage and family life issues.
And I specifically did not say "have large families"---- as some of my most beloved friends do not have large families but would if they could. It has not been in God's plan for them. They are mothers of large families in spirit; they are longing to please God and be obedient to Him.
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~~Nina
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and 2 yet-to-be-met
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SusanJ
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Hmm. Interesting, Nina, that, again, my diverse group of friends were all NFP users and wanted large families even though I was the only Catholic in the group. Pregnancies were always greeted with ecstatic joy all around.
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Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
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JodieLyn
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Even more, you simply won't be able to be friends with people who frown on your family's size.. it just doesn't work. I can be friends with people who use contraception etc as long as they're not "offended" by the number of children we have.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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KauaiCatholic
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Nina Murphy wrote:
| I find that it is not Homeschoolers alone or Catholics alone that I find the most in common with, but those who are "open to life" or whatever term works to describe those (struggling to be) obedient to the Church's teachings on marriage and family life issues. |
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AMEN! after years of praying for, at the very least, good children-compatible family friends (since the combination of Catholic AND homeschooling is too much to ask of this very small island; we have to look for that long-distance) I ran into a very nice woman I'd seen over the years but never connected with. by now she's homeschooling, so we had that in common, but then we found out we're pregnant at the same time (and actually due the same week). she's an answer to prayer: holy, family-centered with a cheerful, humble heart and darling children, and we have oh-so-much in common to discuss.
she's also a devout Western Hindu.  so, I thank God for the chance to broaden my horizons a little, as well as share my faith with someone from such a different perspective. I'm constantly amazed at how often our beliefs are so similar, even if our terminology and traditions are not.
in fact, as I type this, I realize I am actually more comfortable with her than our previous set of closest homeschooling friends, who were extreme evangelicals.
God answers prayers in amazing ways, doesn't he? 
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Viviane
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We can do no great things; only small things with great love. -- Blessed Teresa of Calcutta
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CrunchyMom
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What an interesting topic. We are so very blessed to have a community of Catholic homeschoolers, many of whom also attend the Traditional Latin Mass at our parish. I think that part of what makes that community such an asset is that it draws all those people who don't live so close to our home. So, since many of the people who share a love of that mass are also the same people who choose to home school, it means we are all part of the same parish and see each other at least weekly even though we are spread out a bit geographically.
That said, some of our dearest friends are a young couple who work with my husband who have babysat our children since they were dating. They are expecting their first, and I'm so sad they are moving away in the next year so the husband can attend Lutheran seminary. This couple shares so many of our passions for the "good, true, and beautiful" and are open to life, and in many ways, we have much more in common with them than with other "Catholics" we know. I do pray that they come to know the fullness of the faith in the Catholic church, but I would love for my children to have the example of such a godly couple in their life, Catholic or not.
They would never try to influence our children away from Catholicism. I think that being around homeschooling Christians who were anti-Catholic would be worse than being around some of the very excellent Catholic families in our acquaintance who choose to send their children to school.
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Lindsay
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Family Friendships
