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Elizabeth
Founder
Real Learning
Joined: Jan 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5595
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| Posted: Jan 31 2006 at 3:11pm | IP Logged
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Maria Rioux writes:
A CCM member contacted me recently wondering about Adrienne. I felt
badly because many CCM members made our concerns and needs their own
through prayer, and since we don't all share e-lists, I have not been
able to keep in touch with each of them individually. Elizabeth
kindly said she'd post an update if I sent her one, so......
Yesterday was our first Children's Mercy day for 2006. I couldn't
help thinking that this time next year we wouldn't be checking for
relapse at all anymore. Buuut, we're not there yet, and this is
January, nooot October.(G)
We had to leave early to make it there on time. The kids were pretty
groggy but also very helpful....to the extent that groggy people can
be helpful. (G) They thought about fun things for Adrienne to take
along...toys, good books to read...because sometimes we spend a lot
of time waiting. Ben (13) brought out a Landmark book on Ulysses
which Adrienne loved. "Oh, wow, Ben...this looks great! I loooove
Ulysses!" Encouraged by her enthusiasm, he scanned the shelf for
other books she might enjoy. He came back with Landmark's Richard the
Lionhearted...a book Ben read at least 3 times just for the fun of
it. Now Ben's reading Churchill's History of the English Speaking
Peoples with Joe. He looooved the part about "And if these walls were
made of butter, I would hold them!" Knowing Ben's affection for
history and conquerors in particular, I tend to put things he has
difficulty doing into a military context. Bad habits must be
conquered, Satan is the ultimate enemy, you can lose a battle and yet
win the war, and no real man would ever turn and run from either
laundry or a pile of dirty dishes.(G)
Marie helped Adrienne stuff a couple of squishy pillows into a
back-pack so Adrienne could be comfortable even if she got tired. She
promised me she would not argue with Ben and she would do all her
schoolwork as well as she could. If she had a question, she'd ask Joe
(15). Ben didn't get down on one knee, but he did vow to do his best,
kissed me on my cheek and told me not to worry at all about any of
them. He would guard and protect, faithfully and masterfully
discharge all his duties and submit to Joe, the commanding officer.
That's when Will woke up. He scampered past me, eyes sparkling and
smiling from ear to ear, looking like the sun. He was in less of a
hurry after he used the bathroom, snuggled into my lap, wrapped his
arms around my neck and planted a great big kiss. Just as I was about
to thank him, he looked at me with a naughty glint and wiped my kiss
off his face. He loves this game. I end up kissing him in places he
can't reach or all over so that I can claim he missed a spot which he
then attacks vigorously. Sometimes I wipe his kiss off and he does it
to me. He was sorry to hear that we were leaving soon, but expressed
the hope that we would return with...a surprise? I told him that, if
he was a good boy and listened to Joe, I would bring him a treat.
Virtue is its own reward...and it can't be taught. It can be
encouraged however, and the best way to do that with a 3 year old is
through something concrete.(G) Will was already imagining gummy
worms....a dinosaur....oooooo....maybe a squishy alligator or a two
headed dragon!!!! The possibilities weren't quite endless (if he'd
known my idea of reasonable price limits he'd have had a better sense
of just how not endless they were!!!!(G)) but it sure was exciting to
imagine all that might be. Joe rubbed his hands together and said,
"So, Will, if you're good and liiiiisteeeeen to Jooooooooeeeee, maybe
Mommy will bring you a surprise....." At that point Will looked a lot
like a faithful puppy: tail wagging, panting a little bit, eager to
do his master's bidding.(G)
Adrienne and I loaded the car...with what I thought was a ridiculous
amount of stuff for a day trip to Kansas City, buuuut each item
expressed love and that made it worth it to me to haul it all around.
We listened to Huck Finn as we drove. Every once in a while Adrienne
asked me to stop the tape so I could explain something she didn't
understand. "Are these people very superstitious?" Uhhhhh,
yes....That would be a fair statement.(G) How come Huck didn't seem
to be as superstitious as Jim? Jim was older. He'd had more time to
learn new superstitions. Huck didn't know as many but never met a
superstition he wasn't willing to believe. She really enjoyed the
part when Huck pretended to be a girl and thought the woman was very
observant. Adrienne wasn't so sure she'd have noticed things like how
someone threaded a needle or that they clapped their knees together
to catch something in their lap. Besides, such things wouldn't make
you conclude this person was a boy per se..... She's taken "per se"
out for a spin a couple of times now...(G) When your Dad's a
philosophy professor and everyone in the family likes to analyze
everything, you say stuff like that.(G)
We got to Children's Mercy in record time and had some fun with
Marlene, the weight room nurse. Adrienne gave her a big hug, and
Marlene returned it as enthusiastically. That's when they realized
Marlene's earrings weren't the best choice if you planned on hugging
like that. One snagged in Adrienne's hair (which was partially
braided) and it took them a little while to sort themselves out. It
was more funny than painful, and Adrienne kept giggling. We got lucky
and got a room instead of being in the area where patients are
separated by curtains. I'm always relieved to get a room. That way
it's easier for me to limit what Adrienne sees and hears. We started
on our schoolwork, but didn't get far before it was time for her
physical. Her bloodwork was great, and she's generally doing very
well. A little while ago Adrienne came to me and told me she thought
she'd better reinstate naps because she just gets so darn tired if
she doesn't take one. It will probably take her body a few years yet
to fully recover from the years of treatment. She also complained of
bone pain. When she falls it seems to hurt more than you'd expect.
Her doctor told us that both things are probably the result of the
years of chemo. Adrienne was 4 when she started treatment, and her
bones may not have grown well during that time. It's pretty common
for children to have these sorts of problems because they don't eat
what they normally would and probably should especially during the
first year of intense chemo. At this point he said we'd just wait,
but that we should be aware that it will most likely take around 5
years for her bone marrow to be fully replaced with healthy bone
marrow, and that she might be more susceptible to fractures. It's
possible that this will be a lifelong concern, but there's no way to
know now, so I think I'll just file that in the Loving Father whose
very good plan always works for good file.(G)
We always do something fun on Children's Mercy days. I had suggested
that we go out to lunch at Panera's but Adrienne is pretty picky
about her food. Her older sisters took her and Marie there once, and,
though she hated to say it and she definitely wasn't rude about it at
the time, their chicken noodle soup had a spice. She was a little
worried other things might have the same spice. Anyone who liked that
spice enough to stick it in chicken noodle soup where it
ooooobviously doesn't belong, couldn't be trusted to have any sort of
discretion. We went to Barnes and Nobles.
We love Barnes and Nobles. I found a really fun, large, hardcover
book with Shakespeare stories retold for children. The pictures were
beautiful and it has loads of direct quotes in the retellings. (It's
written by Nicola Baxter and I got it for about 5.00 with my
educator's discount in case any of you want to check the clearance
shelves at a B&N near you...(G)) Adrienne found a fluffy black and
white kitty that looked just like Marie's cat, Princess. Ever since
we went to the Barnes and Nobles on the Kansas City Plaza (a
Children's Mercy Day treat from about a year ago....) Adrienne has
been wanting to try going up the down escalator. We couldn't do it
then because there were quite a few people and it would have been
pretty rude. This time there was maybe one other customer and she was
nowhere in sight. When Adrienne asked me if we could plllleeeeeease
try it, I told her I thought it would be okay but we couldn't be rude
or noisy about it. We stood at the bottom, held hands and railings,
and took the plunge. It's surprisingly hard to go up the down
escalator. We got nowhere in a hurry. I don't think we got past the
second step, but we only had the chance to try it about twice. I was
ready to give it up but I didn't have a chance to say so because
that's when the B&N worker walked by. She was about 10 years younger
than me but she'd already perfected the icy stare. Yikes! She scolded
us roundly and directed us in a non-negotiable way to the up
escalator. I had the feeling it was the up escalator or the door. On
sunny days when I walk barefoot through the grass I sometimes feel a
whole lot younger than I am. I haven't felt like I was in 1st grade
in a good long while, but yesterday brought it all back to
me....along with that little bench outside the principal's
office.....(G). Poor Adrienne was very red when we obediently and
with the utmost civilized decorum ascended the escalator stairs. "I'm
so sorry I asked you to do that, Mommy...." "No worries, Adrienne.
That poor lady hasn't had much fun lately, I think, and she was
probably worried we might get hurt. But you gave her a good idea. You
know what she's going to try to do after she locks up tonight, don't
you?(G)" That brought back her smile.(G)
We went to Walmart to do the groceries and get some lunch. While
there Adrienne found a glass white rose. She was soooooo excited!
With the help of an e-mail friend, Adrienne had sent Bruce Brown a
white rose for Barbara's funeral and he had really loved it. At the
graveside service he had had all the other flowers on Barbara's
casket removed and put Adrienne's rose in their place. She'd been
wondering what she could do for him for Valentine's Day because,
"Mrs. Barbara won't be able to and I think that will be a sad day for
him." She was so excited about the rose that she made all her
brothers and sisters go to the family room when they saw our car pull
up so that she could show them it in the proper ceremonial
surroundings. She took another peek at it this morning and said, "Mr.
Bruce is just going to love it......"
Last night she crept into our bed at around 2:30 am. She said she
couldn't sleep . I didn't ask her why but I can guess. Children's
Mercy days brings joys but hardly ever only joys. They reawaken fears
as well. As she snuggled in between us I could hear a happy sigh and
see the smile that accompanied it....and I thought of the times when
I have prayed in the night and felt just like that. We teach our
children about God, the most Loving of Fathers, through our parental
love, but they remind us to be the children we are each made to be.
Despite my occasional worries about side effects, heart or bone
damage, and possible relapse, I'm going to sleep very well tonight.(G)
Thanks for your continued prayers and please include a young man I
met in them. He's about ....11. He was going for an EKG yesterday
because they were concerned about his heart. Boys have to have 3 1/2
years of chemo whereas girls only have to have 2 1/2, so boys are at
greater risk. Tania (8), the refugee from New Orleans who was just
starting treatment when Katrina hit, is doing very well, but she
still has about 9 months of intense chemo to go and then 1 1/2 years
of maintenance levels. She misses her home and friends, though we're
trying to help her miss them a little less.
God bless, Maria
--
(married to Jean for 22 years, mother of 8 and 3 in God's care)
"While it is obvious that an ignorant man can be virtuous, it is
equally obvious that ignorance is not a virtue." -Frank Sheed
__________________
Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Jen L.
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Joined: Oct 18 2005
Location: Virginia
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| Posted: Jan 31 2006 at 3:28pm | IP Logged
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Thanks for posting this, I was just thinking of Adrienne the other day. The story of the white rose brought tears to my eyes.
__________________
Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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Victoria in AZ
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Joined: Feb 16 2005
Location: Arizona
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Posts: 672
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| Posted: Feb 05 2006 at 9:29am | IP Logged
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Thank you so much for posting the update, Elizabeth. Adrienne remains in our prayers.
__________________
Your sister in Christ,
Victoria in AZ
dh Mike 24 yrs; ds Kyle 18; dd Katie 12; and one funny pug
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teachingmyown
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Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Virginia
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| Posted: Feb 05 2006 at 6:12pm | IP Logged
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Yes, thank you. I have not been active on any lists with Maria in a while simply because of time and internet limitations. I often think of Adrienne and miss the updates.
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Topic: Update on Adrienne Rioux
