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MaryM
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As per the suggestion to have these questions addressed in separate threads, I've quoted them here:
Michaela wrote:
insegnante wrote:
| I'm not too consistent about what they call other adults; Mr./Mrs./Miss Lastname, Mr./Mrs./Miss Firstname, or even just Firstname, depending on the others' preference and/or the kind of relationship. |
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All adults are referred to as Mr. or Mrs. Lastname unless my children are specifically asked to address the person by their first name. Every single adult teacher at our parish goes by their first name. It really bugs me when my child says, "John said...." I think they are referring to another child! I've instructed them to add the appropirate title of respect (Mr.. or Mrs Firstname). |
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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hylabrook1
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In Maryland, we fall under the Southern custom of Mrs./Ms./Miss/Mr. Firstname. Some families do the Lastname. Also, if you're closer friends with a family it's more likely that the first name is used along with the title of respect.
Peace,
Nancy
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JodieLyn
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I grew up with such a hodge podge.. and the honorific plus firstname wasn't used in my family or really anyone around here.
So we generally just follow the whatever the adult in question wishes and try and tend toward the honorific and last name.
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Erin
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First name basis in this area of the world. Even the elderly introduce themselves by first name.
I would like the children to address adults who are their grandparent/great- grandparents age by Mr and Mrs Lastname. But I am having to insist on it with the adults.
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Erin
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Maddie
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We insist upon Mr. and Mrs. last name for adults in most cases. My teens are working now and it's a bit awkward for them to call some of their co-workers by their last name. I have children call me Mrs. last name too, it doesn't sound as respectful for a child to call me by my first name.
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LLMom
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Always Mr./Mrs. (last name) for adults.
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Tami
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Ditto what Nancy said!! 
But out here, it was a real culture shock for our dc. All the adults wanted to be called by their first names ~only~, and in a situation like this where we weren't really close to anyone, we insisted on Mr./Mrs. Lastname. Some of the adults really, really cringed over this.
I had to reinforce with the children that titles are a sign of respect (like Father for the priests, etc) and kindly explain it to our new acquaintances. 
We are such easterners (and so weird to these people LOL), what can I say? 
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Martha
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Ditto Nancy here too.
Title + firstname is for close friends of the family or the occassional adult who insist their firstname be used.
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MaryM
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I've totally reversed my earlier preference on this. When I first had children and was still in my 20s, I didn't like to be called Mrs. ___ (that was my mother-in-law) and generally was pretty casual about names/titles. Our friends were called by first name by our kids and the same for theirs. As time has passed I had really felt it was more respectful to call adults by Mr. and Mrs. last name and that is how I refer to them when talking about them to my children or when introducing them to my children, so that is what the children call them when addressing them. There are exceptions - a couple of families who are very good friends and have been a big part of our lives from the earliest years of our marriage are still called by first names. But generally everyone else is the Mr. & Mrs. even those who have become good friends - because we stick with how they were introduced in the beginning.
In our homeschool circle that is generally what everyone does so it makes it easy.
And I've pretty much gotten over my issues with being Mrs. _____
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folklaur
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usually, Mr/Mrs Last Name
close families, sometimes, Miss/Mr First Name.
okay, i will be honest and say i hate being called Mrs. ___. it is my MIL's name, not mine. i tolerate it because i understand what other people are trying to teach their kids.....but, inside i am wincing bigtime..... that is the main reason i prefer Miss Laura over Mrs. ____. i am thinking, if after this many years it still makes me wince, it probably always will.....
my dh's brother and his wife actually picked their own last name when they got married. not like a hyphenation or anything - a totally different name that they both liked.
dh and i wish we had thought of that, or had officially hyphenated both of our names.
well, sorry for that little off topic stroll there....
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Sarah M
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I always ask what the adult would like my children to call them. They usually give their first name, and that's what we go with.
I, for one, cannot stand to be called Mrs. M----. Eeek! I'm only 28! I do understand that others want their children to call me that, and it's no big deal. But if anyone asks what I want their kids to call me, I always say "Sarah."
I guess my overall feeling is- why put another barrier between adults and children? But I do understand why others do it and I think that's perfectly reasonable. I was required to call adults by Mr./Mrs. Last-name when I was a child.
I guess it's probably best to just be consistent one way or another.
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Angie Mc
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MaryM wrote:
I've totally reversed my earlier preference on this. When I first had children and was still in my 20s, I didn't like to be called Mrs. ___ (that was my mother-in-law) and generally was pretty casual about names/titles. Our friends were called by first name by our kids and the same for theirs. As time has passed I had really felt it was more respectful to call adults by Mr. and Mrs. last name and that is how I refer to them when talking about them to my children or when introducing them to my children, so that is what the children call them when addressing them. There are exceptions - a couple of families who are very good friends and have been a big part of our lives from the earliest years of our marriage are still called by first names. But generally everyone else is the Mr. & Mrs. even those who have become good friends - because we stick with how they were introduced in the beginning.
In our homeschool circle that is generally what everyone does so it makes it easy.
And I've pretty much gotten over my issues with being Mrs. _____ |
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Me too .
I have a sweet memory of a couple who I referred to my whole growing up as Mr. and Mrs. P.... When I was in my thirties Mrs. P.... said to me, "Angie, you can call me Rose" to which I replied, "I'll try, Mrs. P...." She'll always be Mrs. P.... to me  . I hope that someday, some of the younger people who call me Mrs. ____ now, will find using this formal regard as endearing as I do.
Love,
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JodieLyn
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Sarah M wrote:
I, for one, cannot stand to be called Mrs. M----. Eeek! I'm only 28! |
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I had to get over this very quickly.. we were still in college when we got married.. I was 22.. and I did some student teaching in a classroom so they go by honorific and last name.. and so at 22 I had to correct the teacher when she introduced me.. because she didn't ask if I was married or not.. No I'm not Miss. ________ I'm Mrs. ________.
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Mimip
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JodieLyn wrote:
Sarah M wrote:
I, for one, cannot stand to be called Mrs. M----. Eeek! I'm only 28! |
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I had to get over this very quickly.. we were still in college when we got married.. I was 22.. and I did some student teaching in a classroom so they go by honorific and last name.. and so at 22 I had to correct the teacher when she introduced me.. because she didn't ask if I was married or not.. No I'm not Miss. ________ I'm Mrs. ________. |
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Jodie that's exactly what happened to me!!!!!! I was married at 21! I still have a really hard time being Mrs. P________ and I have to agree with laura and Sarah, I am so not my MIL!
And Angie, my DH has been best friends with the same guy since they were baptized together and still calls his parents Mr and Mrs._________
When I was introduced to them at 19 and straight from Miami, my MIL introduced me to Dave and Kathy _________ and so I called them by their first names like I did to all my other parents friends. A few years ago my husband pointed out that I called them by their first names and he would never have even thought of calling them that!
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Mimi
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DominaCaeli
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mimip wrote:
JodieLyn wrote:
Sarah M wrote:
I, for one, cannot stand to be called Mrs. M----. Eeek! I'm only 28! |
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I had to get over this very quickly.. we were still in college when we got married.. I was 22.. and I did some student teaching in a classroom so they go by honorific and last name.. and so at 22 I had to correct the teacher when she introduced me.. because she didn't ask if I was married or not.. No I'm not Miss. ________ I'm Mrs. ________. |
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Jodie that's exactly what happened to me!!!!!! |
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Me too! I was married at 21 and started grad school and began teaching freshman composition a few months afterward. A lot of my colleagues had the students address them by their first names, but since many of my students were older than I was, I had them call me "Mrs. Newlastname" to maintain some professional distance.  It took me that whole first quarter to remember to actually answer to that name, though!
Growing up, I always called my parents' friends, my friends' parents, and our neighbors by their first names only--it would have been really strange to do otherwise. Maybe that kind of casualness is a California thing? We're bucking the norm around here, though--my kids are still young, but we have taught them Mrs. and Mr. Lastname so far unless an adult asks otherwise.
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Celeste
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stefoodie
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wow, just had to comment. so many of us just on this thread who got married at 21! i was 3 weeks shy of my 22nd birthday. cooool!!!
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Carole N.
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We have always had the dc address adults by Mr./Mrs. last name. Even our closest friends. I grew up in a household where everyone was on a first name basis. I always felt it was a sign of respect for my dc to address their elders more formally.
Now that they are teens, some of our friends tell them that they can call them by their first name, but they don't feel comfortable doing this.
And Stef, I married 2 1/2 weeks after I turned 29. It never bothered me to be Mrs. N- but then again, I did not live close to my mil. And at that time, I was not a teacher in a classroom. I rarely heard myself introduced as anything but my first name.
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As one of the old women on the board I have to admit to doing a double take when I heard myself being called by "Mrs _" many years ago. WOW...It felt like a heavy title, like it didn't quite fit, and yes, like my MIL. BUT, as time has passed, it is all about my husband now, not my MIL, and with so much love between us, being called Mrs with his name is an affirmation of our marriage. I'm so glad to have it!!  Not to mention....my maiden name was pretty difficult to pronounce and spell....my married name is sooooo much easier!!
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sewcrazy
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I was an aide in a Head Start classroom, so I was Miss LeeAnn. Then I ran a home daycare and was still Miss LeeAnn. That was how all the neighborhood moms were addresses. Older generations were Mrs Lastname. In the last 10 years though, we have switched to Mrs Lastname for everyone pretty much. I think kids needs all the reminds possible to be respectful.
Men have always been Mr. Lastname. 
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Cay Gibson
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hylabrook1 wrote:
In Maryland, we fall under the Southern custom of Mrs./Ms./Miss/Mr. Firstname. Some families do the Lastname. Also, if you're closer friends with a family it's more likely that the first name is used along with the title of respect.
Peace,
Nancy |
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Same here in Louisiana. Also, if you become close enough friends the children often end up calling you Aunt X and Uncle Y.
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Cay Gibson
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: How do your children address adults?
