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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: Aug 18 2009 at 8:13pm | IP Logged
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Friends, I'm tired.  That kind of tired that just doesn't bounce back after a few good nights of sleep.
I've been trying desperately to get my school area ready to start, which also involved some dejunking of other spots so that there was a place for everything. Let's just say its not going well.  I can't make everything fit where it needs to fit, and one of the spaces is unbearably utilitarian (read: ugly) and I came to the conclusion today that all my pipedreaming about painting it and making it cheery is not going to happen...probably not for a year, at least.
For some reason, I am finding this all very depressing. I had a rough last year with hsing, and I cannot seem to muster much energy and joy for the upcoming year. I think I was hoping that clean and lovely spaces would energize me.
I don't feel rested and ready to begin. I'm apprehensive about the new school year.
So instead of dejunking and making things lovely, I will be wrestling with a very strong 20 mos. old who has decided that he does not need to sleep. EVER. And for some reason, everyone else just seems needy, too. Emotional piggy banks to fill, I guess. But mine is on empty, too. And on top of everything else, the entire first month of my school year, I have a morning and afternoon drive I have to make every single school day, which is going to really mess up my first month's rhythm at home.
I know that many of you have been here before and have gotten to the other side. What can I do to jolt myself out of this funk? I need some inspiration. I don't want to be a grump for the kids when school starts. They are used to me being excited and enthusiasm is contagious. So I need to find some...
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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jdostalik
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Books,
I can pray for you. I relate to a lot of what you wrote--especially readying the school area...I no longer have a school room (it is a kids bedroom now) and I am desperately trying to rearrange things to make pleasant spaces for learning. It's taking forever and I don't have forever (even though we don't start until after Labor Day).
Hugs, dear.
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God Bless,
Jennifer in TX
wife to Bill, mom to six here on earth and eight in heaven.
Let the Little Ones Come
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4 lads mom
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| Posted: Aug 18 2009 at 8:43pm | IP Logged
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Hi Books!
Could you make this coming month "art therapy" month....music appreciation....learning how to knit....crochet...sew....cook new meals once a week, decided by the kids, even better, MADE by the kids? Try "cooking" around the world, plenty of library books to help with that.
Most importantly...can you take a day to recharge over the weekend? I have done that, I have learned to ask for it now...it is imperative to my mental well being to take a few days out of the year just for me. Maybe even just a few hours to go to Adoration, Mass, Confession....coffee shop? I wish we could meet at the coffe shop, and brainstorm, and laugh and cry...but here it is, my very disjointed "brain" session, very humbly offered to you 
Is there anyway your older two can paint for you? I had my 16 and 14 yo boys painting, it was great!!! One of mine, a few years ago when we moved here, painted Lily's nursery. It wasn't perfect, but much better than not getting done at all.
I,too, am in for a rough Fall...and Winter..I am a little overwhelmed..let's keep in touch!
Keep the Faith!!
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Mom of four brave lads and one sweet lassie
Scenes From This and That
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cornomama4
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| Posted: Aug 18 2009 at 9:33pm | IP Logged
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Hey Books,
I second the idea of making the "driving month" a special time of unusual schooling. How long is the drive? Books or CDs on tape could help use that time? Maybe you could also look at some "fun" areas you always wish you had time for, like 4 lads mom suggested, and do some life skills projects together. There are also quite a few interesting short day trips probably right under your nose 
I'm in a similar boat with my 26 m.o. who does sleep (no naps) but when he's up he's into everything like no other child I've ever had! He also likes to open the front door and head up the hill to the neighbors..apparently their playset holds an intrigue for him that ours just doesn't!
I am all excited to start the boys on a little more regular schooling schedule, but when I think of trying to do anything with Mr. Destructo around I get hives. I just try and remember that this is a season that will pass, and all to soon.
Hope you feel better soon as you are one of my inspirations for a more organized home and school!
cm4
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Aug 18 2009 at 9:46pm | IP Logged
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Oh, Books...you can do this!!!
- Grant yourself some time to rejuvenate...even if it's just for a couple of hours. I really enjoy reading in the evening. Bad days seem to melt away over a glass of wine with my husband sometimes...but other times, I just need something that doesn't tax the brain like a glossy mag and to veg for a while. The day always looks fresher in the morning. Take some time to make a few lists while you're rejuvenating...lists help me think on paper. Prioritize your projects and all the to-do's on paper!
- If you have to postpone your designs and plans...at least get the room back in workable order. Did you finish your decluttering? If not, muster the energy to finish. Just pulling things out and rethinking their placement is refreshing...you don't have to have a fresh coat of paint for that! This is daunting...especially when everything is all over the floor, but persevere! You will be pleased with your space when you're done. If something doesn't **FIT** in the room or space, take it out. Just give yourself permission to put it in a laundry basket and set it aside for now. Add back only the things that seem to have a place. The priority is getting your room back in order. You can deal with the basket of stuff that doesn't really have a home later! If that stuff that doesn't fit really needs to be in that room, can you consider buying some inexpensive clear bins for a temporary solution? I'm a fan of open and accessible, but sometimes bins can be a helpful temporary solution. These would give you a place to store things in your space, and when you get a chance to rearrange and paint, bins are ALWAYS useful anywhere in the home!
- Ok...so it's a definite...you know you'll be out of the house twice a day...now how can you work with it to make it productive? Audiobooks? narrations in the car? coloring pages? clipboards for each of the kids with a little of their work clipped on for the day's drive? If you know you have to be out of the house every day for a month scale back your at-home lesson plans as well. Allow yourself to plan in lite terms for the month. Consider something totally creative like 4ladsmom suggested - a history only month where all you really worry about are books and plans for history. Read from a period...cook from the period...write from the period... You won't lose momentum with this schedule. What you also won't lose is your sanity. Keep your plans super scaled back and simple. Simple can be very lovely!
- Consider starting your schoolyear later than normal...maybe this wouldn't feel so exhausting if you postponed a week or two? Consider giving yourself time and room to do the groundwork preparations that must be done so that you can work with the days God has planned for your family right now.
- Get your seasonal menu and meal plans set in place right now. Anticipate as much as you can so that things run smoothly. I invest serious time doing this at the beginning of any very busy season! If you haven't been delegating to the older children, now is the time for some lists and responsibilities. Let all the children carry a little bit of the weight.
I think if you re-establish a little order in your spaces you'll feel a little more refreshed. Definitely take some time to fill emotional tanks.
I don't know if any of this helps, Books. Take the circumstances God has given you and seek to find the beauty in it. Beauty often lies in the simple, ordinary places...the places without paint and pretty organizers. Beauty and simplicity are found in the quiet moments with the family. See if you can restore a little order and a simple rhythm that will foster a few quiet moments because that is what builds treasured memories and that is what fills emotional love tanks! And
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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MarilynW
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Dear Books
I empathize with you. I joke sometimes that I want to start school in January! Also I have to live with a lot of imperfect - which is tough for me - dh and I just have not enough time or money to do everything on the list to create beauty right now. But I have done a couple of things
- I did carve out a good learning space (and we live in a small house) - between our 'learning room", kitchen and dining room. A lot of the extra stuff is still in laundry baskets in the basement waiting for me to organize into boxes - but I feel great peace in having a decluttered space as books etc start to arrive
- I am terrified at all the driving I am going to be doing as I am such a home body. But I have ordered a stack of audio books from the library and music that ties into our world geography - and our car times should be fun.
- I am building a lot of MARGIN (one of my mottoes) into my plans - really underscheduling my days to avoid stress
- I am generating some excitement for myself by making sure that every day we do something fun - read aloud/art/music or even just our teatime routine
I don't feel very well right now and sometimes I think - how am I going to school 5 children and look after a newborn, and do all the other stuff - but I am going to take one day at a time and just rely on the grace of God.
I will be praying for you, Jennifer, 4 lads mom (my inspiration!) and everyone else who needs it.
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Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
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Erin
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| Posted: Aug 18 2009 at 11:23pm | IP Logged
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Books
I can so relate, the reason is the sheer time you have been homeschooling. This is why you/I are tired. I told a friend this morning that I was tired of homeschooling, not tired of the lifestyle, having my children home; but tired of teaching. As she wisely pointed out teachers have a long service break after ten years. Well Books we are due our long service leave!
Another factor may be the age of your son (and mine) well I can't comment on yours but I'm tired of trying to make my son something he is not so I'm letting go in many areas. Hopefully this will give me back some enthusiasm.
In an effort to cheer myself up I started focusing on our Treasured Moments (http://sevenlittleaustralians.blogspot.com/search/label/Tre asured%20Moments) to bring the joy back. Many many hugs.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
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stellamaris
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| Posted: Aug 19 2009 at 8:10am | IP Logged
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Erin wrote:
I can so relate, the reason is the sheer time you have been homeschooling. This is why you/I are tired. I told a friend this morning that I was tired of homeschooling, not tired of the lifestyle, having my children home; but tired of teaching. As she wisely pointed out teachers have a long service break after ten years. Well Books we are due our long service leave! |
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Dearest Books, I am holding you up in prayer as I so completely understand and relate to the difficult, exhausting place in which you find yourself. Erin is absolutely correct-there is a certain weariness and discouragement that comes as a result of the long-haul of homeschooling in a large family. It is the cumulative effect of literally decades of setting aside your own needs for the sake of your children. It is the long trial of crucifixion and the cry of our hearts, "My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?" The letting go of dreams, the realization of our declining physical strength, and the loss of hope all combine to drive us to a new dependence on God's help and strength, a new level of humility. We are being crucified with Christ.
The only choice before us is patient endurance, which, to be honest, is not my strong suit!
On a practical note, the most restorative activity I have found is actually exercise. If there is any way you can take a good long walk ALONE two or three times a week, I would suggest you try that. I have found, that as much as I love my friends, I really need that time alone and the exercise relieves my too-high level of stress. Cleaning up the house, organizing, etc. are nice if you have the energy, but if you are where I think you are the frustration of seeing it all come apart around you will negate the positive benefit of your efforts. Try to get good sleep (if you are having trouble with that, pm me I'll I send you some info that helped me). Drink plenty of water. Trust in God, He has a good and perfect plan for you and your family even if it seems very discouraging and overwhelming right now.
__________________
In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: Aug 19 2009 at 8:16am | IP Logged
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Good morning. Thank you so much for all your thoughts. Some of these things I have already done.
Jen, I did get the meals in order. I posted them in the kitchen yesterday! So far, so good.
The driving is a little after 7am to around 8:30 each morning. I have thought about starting later in the day (9ish), but I find we all tend to run out of steam after about 2pm. I also thought about putting school off a few weeks. But I wonder if I will regret that come May.  I'm just not sure what to do about it. At least its only for a month. Maybe the best solution is to just cut some of the school so that it fits within the time frame we have available? I confess, creative art and rabbit trail month type school is just not me.  I do much better with a routine.
I'm working on finishing the decluttering. Its going...ok. Its crowding other areas of the house that I will have to attend to when I am done with the room I am working in. I can't figure out where to put canning supplies! Garage is no good, and neither is the kitchen. And I need it to be accessible enough that I can put jars back in when we are done using them.
I hadn't thought about talking to dh about some time to rejuvinate. That's probably a very good idea. Adoration and confession and then some mom time sounds, well...really great right now.
***Caroline said: there is a certain weariness and discouragement that comes as a result of the long-haul of homeschooling in a large family. It is the cumulative effect of literally decades of setting aside your own needs for the sake of your children. It is the long trial of crucifixion and the cry of our hearts, "My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?" The letting go of dreams, the realization of our declining physical strength, and the loss of hope all combine to drive us to a new dependence on God's help and strength, a new level of humility. We are being crucified with Christ.
The only choice before us is patient endurance, which, to be honest, is not my strong suit!***
Wow. I didn't realize, but maybe that's part of it. I am nearing the end of the road with child #1, realizing how much effort it took to get to this place, and how much I still have to do. And I am so much lower in energy than I used to be. Maybe just that recognition and then allowing myself to slow down would help.
I also have a plan in the works for exercise, but I'm not starting it until the dejunking is done. That is exercise enough for me. I am falling into bed exhausted from it most night.
I hadn't thought about having my kids paint. That is a possibility. My oldest son might be able to do it for me. Hmmmmmmmmm....will have to think about that. For some reason, the older I get, the sight of clutter and ugly areas just discourages me beyond reason. Order brings me great peace and comfort, mentally. Not sure if that's something I have to sacrifice for God though, or if its something temperamental (ENTJ...barely E) that I need to learn to accept.
Off to work on finding a place for those canning jars. I'm all ears, if you have a suggestion...
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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stellamaris
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On the cannning jars, I had a friend who kept hers in a large (bushel size) basket, just piled in there. I don't know if your littles would get into them, though, but they did look pretty decorative for just canning jars! Maybe you could keep them in a nearby closet?
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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Mimip
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Books,
The ideas given above were great and I just want to tell you that you are doing a great job. Sometimes we get down on ourselves and just hearing that might help. So I'll say it again
YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!!!!
Just continue to offer it all for the souls in purgatory and make sure that you are always do the Lord's Will for your life and keep on keeping on.
Lots of
My spiritual director once told me after one of my burnout days that God does not judge the outcome but the intention. You are intending to do the best for your family, trust in the Lord's assistance.
BTW I have no idea where you live but I too am with 4ladsmom and wish we could go out for a cup of coffee
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In Christ,
Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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Bookswithtea
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Well, I finished the first room (been working on it for a week and a half). I repurposed a big cabinet as 1/2 canning supplies and 1/2 craft supplies, puzzles, etc to take care of the canning jar issue. It bugs my organizational senses to have both kitchen stuff and kids stuff in the same cabinet, but oh well. At least I don't have to look at it when I come into the room! 
Now I have to go through the mess I made in my office space, and even worse, the kitchen, and then finish the learning space.
...Maybe I should consider starting school after Labor Day after all...
Mimi, thank you for the encouragement. I think I'll try to ask myself, "Is this the best for my family" before I do the next thing. Good idea.
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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Bookswithtea
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Light bulb moment. I was re-reading an old thread on weaning and engorgement and discovered that weaning can cause the blues. Didn't know that. Maybe that's the source of my lack of inspiration?
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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Mimip
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Bookswithtea wrote:
| Light bulb moment. I was re-reading an old thread on weaning and engorgement and discovered that weaning can cause the blues. Didn't know that. Maybe that's the source of my lack of inspiration? |
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Yes, that can definitely cause the blues!
Try to spend some outside time with the one you are trying to wean. This allows you to see them as the "big kid" they are becoming. (its the whole extending beyond you thing) Sometimes the sun or even the breeze can help
Lots of prayers to keep you going 
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In Christ,
Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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Sarah
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Oh Books, I am in a similar boat.
I like what Caroline wrote: "The letting go of dreams, the realization of our declining physical strength, and the loss of hope all combine to drive us to a new dependence on God's help and strength, a new level of humility."
We come to realize that we are not what we always pictured ourselves to be and there is some grief in that. I thought I would have all these girls in a tidy house. We would sing and laugh and play. They would be obedient and life would be peachy. Instead I have 5 boys who I love so much. But I struggle every day to know what to do with them. My house is far from tidy. I have no energy to sing or play. My boys are good but obedience is hard. Each day I get up, put on my armor and battle it out with them. This armor is heavy. I am tired.
Oops, I just stole your thread. Sorry. Didn't mean to write about myself. Just wanted to say you are not alone. We just need to ride out the storm. Heaven is on the other side. Holdfast and give Christ the reins.
Don't underestimate what lack of sleep does. My nursing 2yo is so sweet but wakes. I don't even have to energy to wean!
You also have two sons in major transitions. A boy changing from boyhood to manhood and a boy changing from babyhood to boyhood. Both are hard and taxing.
Hugs and prayers.
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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4 lads mom
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Oh, Books!!!! No wonder you feel out of sorts....yes, yes, weaning can do this!!! I agree...get outside if you can, even for five mintues!!!
Hey, you have had one victory over the cans and kid clutter!!!!! Just keep doing little steps every day.
Many to you, and keep us updated! I can't wait to hear when one of those walls are painted
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Mom of four brave lads and one sweet lassie
Scenes From This and That
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Topic: I need inspiration
