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folklaur
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| Posted: July 20 2009 at 3:34pm | IP Logged
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as i mentioned over on the other thread, my dd19 has pushed up her wedding to next month, August 10th.
She will turn 20 in October.
dh and i are...nervous? concerned? upset? anxious (that last one is mostly me, i guess...)?
i am trying to balance everything - concern for her, worry over their impulsiveness, sadness that she is not marrying in the Church, thankfulness that she is continuing with school, and that she is not just "shacking up", anger that the catastrophe that was her first year at college is contributing to some of these less than desirable choices, fear that she won't get the help she needs, for both her health and emotional wellbeing etc, etc, etc....and i am feeling more and more stressed as the date approaches.
maybe this should have been a prayer request.
but please - can anyone tell me about their young adult children, and that pesky free will that they have, and give me hope that eventually things will be okay?
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trish
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| Posted: July 20 2009 at 3:58pm | IP Logged
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Your PM box is full... hint hint! 
__________________
~ Trish ~
Wife to Les
Mom to 8 Wonderful Kids
+AMDG+
Saintly Soaps
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folklaur
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| Posted: July 20 2009 at 4:10pm | IP Logged
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trish wrote:
| Your PM box is full... hint hint! |
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whoops. 
well, that just may explain why some of my recent PMs have gone unanswered. and here i was just feeling unloved 
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Mary G
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| Posted: July 20 2009 at 6:28pm | IP Logged
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well ... 20yods just emailed to say he fractured ribs 7-9, broke 10 falling on his back ... can't work ... which means can't pay for school ....  !
But, what can we do ... he's legally an adult and loving what he's doing and asking for me to renew his Magnificat subscription ... must be ok somehow!
__________________
MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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KauaiCatholic
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| Posted: July 20 2009 at 8:09pm | IP Logged
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well, I've been waiting for all the experienced moms to comfort you ... alas, those growing up tales are still down the road for me ...
but I did want to tell you how touched I was by the story you shared in the other post about this marriage. my folks did much the same thing for my sister, 20 years ago last month. at the time I didn't realize how hard it was for them; they must have felt a lot like you do. but they supported what turned out to be a very loving, beautiful wedding, and their relationship has only grown stronger, as far as I can tell from here. now it stands as a testimony to me about what we're willing to do for our DC's happiness. (well, that and the sacredness of a sacramental marriage, but that's another story.)
anyway, I just wanted to let you know I have been praying for you and your daughter all day ... may she know how much you love her and may you find some peace in the days to come.
__________________
 Viviane
Grateful mama of Jonah Augustine ('01), Sophia Marie ('05) and Luke Dominic ('10)
We can do no great things; only small things with great love. -- Blessed Teresa of Calcutta
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Mary Chris
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| Posted: July 21 2009 at 7:49am | IP Logged
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Laura,
You are in a tight spot. From reading what you have written I now understand a little more what my mom went through when I got married. I did something similar to your dd, though I was a bit older..24. Dh and I were married first by a Justice of the Peace, than a Navy Chaplain, then had the marriage blessed. At the time, Jim was getting ready to be transferred to Hawaii and San Diego Diocese required nine months prep before weddings. I was not really going to church much at the time and Jim was not and still is not catholic. I was not going to move to Hawaii and live with him just so we could have a church wedding....despite all I DIDN'T know about church teaching, I knew that was not right.
The blessing of our marriage was beautiful. The priest wonderful, the setting an university chapel overlooking Diamond Head, really I think it was my favorite of the three.
I will say the Holy Spirit truly has guided my life and made sure just the right folks have come into my life and guided me down the correct path.
I would encourage your dd to get her marriage blessed as soon as she can after moving to Texas. I would encourage her to find a parish and attend mass. And I would beg the Holy Spirit to put the right people into her life (I know you probably already do this) to help her on her path. I had to speak with two priests before one would bless our marriage.
I won't say our marriage is perfect, we like everyone else have had our struggles. But it is solid, I am learning what it means to be a faithful catholic. Your dd had a good foundation!! By her chosing to get married instead of living together shows how much she cares about marriage and God.
I will pray Laura.
__________________
Blessings, Mary Chris Beardsley
mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92
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Martha
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no tips from the parenting end...
but I can give you a happy ending about another 19 year old rather head strong girl who got married...
still married 16 years later and even converted to the Catholic faith and has 9 kids. 
__________________
Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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Bookswithtea
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Pray and trust in God, and be supportive of your dd as much as possible. That's all you can do (and its a lot, considering St. Monica). A mom here recently told me that she is beginning to think that parenting teens and young adults involves a significant amount of picking up the pieces. I fear she is right.
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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Martha
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| Posted: July 21 2009 at 9:11am | IP Logged
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cactus mouse wrote:
trish wrote:
| Your PM box is full... hint hint! |
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whoops.
well, that just may explain why some of my recent PMs have gone unanswered. and here i was just feeling unloved |
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hey, that explains why you didn't respond to my PM. LOL I thought maybe you were ignoring me or really busy. 
__________________
Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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Mackfam
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Another hopeful story here...my parents were **just** returning to their Catholic faith after years of being away when I was married. Rob and I were married by a military chaplain in a non-denominational service on post. I always felt drawn to the Catholic church as my home through the graces I received at baptism. Rob and I both entered the church together in 1995, had our marriage convalidated, and are enjoying our 17th year of marriage together. God's grace can do amazing things and our marriage is proof of it! Never underestimate the power of God's grace to transform! Thanks be to God for it!
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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hylabrook1
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Every time I pray the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary, when I come to the Finding of Jesus in the Temple, I pray that all of the loving and teaching I"ve been able to give my children (and I'll admit that not every interaction I"ve ever had with them has been positive or admirable - but that's the reality for all of us living someplace other than Heaven ) ), will be blessed by God in the long run. To a degree much larger than we sometimes recognize, our children have to learn from their own experience. Praying that all is for the best, despite occasional rough patches, is not a small thing. I believe it's often the very best thing we can do for our children. I have daughters who are 27, 25, and 22 (also some younger kids ), and it doesn't get any easier to watch them go through the realities of being adults. Mostly I am very happy to see how they've *turned out*, but there are times when I worry over something they do or say. Praying for you, Laura, with great empathy.
Peace,
Nancy
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Angie Mc
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I can tell you that my parent's story of youthful marriage is similar, with a few different concerning details for my mom's parents to worry about. Now my parents are happily married for over 45 years .
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
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Lisa R
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My dh and I married young. I had just turned 18 and he was 21. We eloped and were married by a Justice of the Peace in Pensacola where dh was stationed at the time. Neither of us were going to church. He was raised Catholic and I was non-denominational.
We were so in love and so happy but something was missing. We started attending the Catholic church 2 years later and I knew I was home. We had our marriage blessed and I converted 5 years after our elopement. This December we celebrate 26 years!!!
The Lord has led us down some amazing paths. Two that led all the way to China to bring home our girls. Keep praying for your daughter, Laura. And hold onto the verse about training up a child....
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God Bless!
Lisa, married to my best friend, Ray and loving my blessings Joshua (17)and Jacob(15), Hannah(7) and Rachel (5)!Holy Family Academy
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folklaur
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| Posted: July 22 2009 at 12:55pm | IP Logged
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KauaiCatholic wrote:
well, I've been waiting for all the experienced moms to comfort you ... alas, those growing up tales are still down the road for me ...
but I did want to tell you how touched I was by the story you shared in the other post about this marriage. my folks did much the same thing for my sister, 20 years ago last month. at the time I didn't realize how hard it was for them; they must have felt a lot like you do. but they supported what turned out to be a very loving, beautiful wedding, and their relationship has only grown stronger, as far as I can tell from here. now it stands as a testimony to me about what we're willing to do for our DC's happiness. (well, that and the sacredness of a sacramental marriage, but that's another story.)
anyway, I just wanted to let you know I have been praying for you and your daughter all day ... may she know how much you love her and may you find some peace in the days to come. |
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thank you so much for your kind words!!!
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folklaur
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ladies,
thank you all so much for your kindness, for sharing your experiences with me, etc. i appreciate it so very much.
and if you could keep our little family in your prayers in the days to come, i would very much appreciate it.
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Willa
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hylabrook1 wrote:
| Every time I pray the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary, when I come to the Finding of Jesus in the Temple, I pray that all of the loving and teaching I"ve been able to give my children (and I'll admit that not every interaction I"ve ever had with them has been positive or admirable - but that's the reality for all of us living someplace other than Heaven ) ), will be blessed by God in the long run. |
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I do that too!
I was an oldest daughter and things did not go too well in my teenage years.... but I think my parents' prayers and support paid off in the end. Sometimes it takes a while. I'll be praying for your daughter to have a most blessed marriage!
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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stefoodie
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Hi Laura, I'm coming late into the thread and don't know if you still need this, but for what it's worth -- I got married before I graduated from college, much to my parents' disappointment. I was just shy of 22 and dh was 28. I had said during all of my teen years that I was going to let a guy court me for at least 2 years, then go gf-bf for 5, engaged for another 2, and THEN get married. Of course, none of that happened. I married dh after 2 years of courtship/dating and a 1-month engagement. We got married in a non-denominational church because we were not done with pre-Cana and I *wanted* an anniversary that would fall on dh's birthday because it was also our bf/gf anniversary (to me at the time, *that* was perfection ). We did have our church wedding a month later, but it wasn't my dream wedding -- my grandpa died 7 hours before we were wed. Everyone was in mourning and we got married in our jeans because no one felt like being festive and putting on fancy clothes.
Despite all that we've been happy in our marriage and will be celebrating 20 years this December! God has blessed us with many many graces, despite the fact that we started out as 2 poorly-catechized Catholics who didn't really know what a good marriage was all about except for the example of my parents. I always say this -- my mom was and is a Marian devotee and Mama Mary has done wonderful things in her marriage as well as mine. Entrust your child and her dh-to-be to the Holy Spirit and Mama Mary. And we will continue to pray for all of you.
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stef
mom to five
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stacykay
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cactus mouse wrote:
ladies,
........
and if you could keep our little family in your prayers in the days to come, i would very much appreciate it.
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I definitely will, Laura!
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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Jen L.
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| Posted: Aug 05 2009 at 11:18pm | IP Logged
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Praying here - is the date still the 10th?
__________________
Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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folklaur
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| Posted: Aug 06 2009 at 3:07am | IP Logged
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thank you everyone.
yes, the date is still the 10th - 4 days!!!!!
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: looking for hope...
