| Author | |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: July 15 2009 at 2:44pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
..being a good wife, mothering, cooking, cleaning, praying, homeschooling, activities, etc etc etc. I know that I am six weeks postpartum and very very tired - but I am feeling overwhelmed. I am fairly organized - but for the first time ever am wondering how to do it all. All my children are at different stages and need different things of me. I am cooking but it is a struggle. The house is being maintained but only just. I have not cleared up and tidied my school room or done the bulk of next year's school planning. Thinking of and planning for the fall activities and driving everyone around is scaring me. Every day I have someone say to me - "wow how do you manage to homeschool six and do it all" ...hmm I am wondering that myself.
I have the bible verse "I can do all things through Christ" written all over - but am feeling in need of some encouragement.
Do you every feel this way?
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
anitamarie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Oct 15 2008
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 819
|
| Posted: July 15 2009 at 2:52pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Only about every other day. And I only have 4 kids. No you cannot do it all. Especially 6 weeks post-partum. Cut yourself some slack. You are where God wants you. Let Him fill in the gaps. Try not to focus on what's not being done, only on what is getting done. Sometimes my to-do list is
1) Breathe in
2) Breathe out
My dh said to me one day when I was a few weeks post-partum and he was leaving for work "All you have to do is keep the kids alive and fed." Some days that's all we can do. Although we want to do so much more.
Love them, let them love you. I know from experience that the rest will still be there when you have more time. 
 to you and prayers for interior peace.
God Bless,
Anita
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
kingvozzo
Forum All-Star
Joined: March 28 2005
Location: Maine
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2653
|
| Posted: July 15 2009 at 3:24pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
anitamarie wrote:
| Only about every other day. And I only have 4 kids. No you cannot do it all. |
|
|
I totally agree with this. This realization has been very freeing.
anitamarie wrote:
| My dh said to me one day when I was a few weeks post-partum and he was leaving for work "All you have to do is keep the kids alive and fed." Some days that's all we can do. |
|
|
And some days all we can do is half of that... 
__________________
Noreen
Wife to Ed
Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
KauaiCatholic
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 25 2009
Location: Hawaii
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 535
|
| Posted: July 15 2009 at 3:54pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
anitamarie wrote:
Sometimes my to-do list is
1) Breathe in
2) Breathe out |
|
|
praying for your peace and sanity!
__________________
 Viviane
Grateful mama of Jonah Augustine ('01), Sophia Marie ('05) and Luke Dominic ('10)
We can do no great things; only small things with great love. -- Blessed Teresa of Calcutta
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
anitamarie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Oct 15 2008
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 819
|
| Posted: July 15 2009 at 4:22pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Content deleted. Thanks.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
anitamarie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Oct 15 2008
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 819
|
| Posted: July 15 2009 at 4:31pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Marilyn:
You've been on my heart since I read your post.
Some other things came to mind.
One, something Kimberly Hahn said in a talk, "To be a mother is to always be failing at something. The house is clean, but the kids are a wreck. The laundry's caught up but there's no dinner. The schoolwork is done, but everyone is miserable." Something to that effect. Even she has those times.
Also, a friend of mine did a quick calculation of the amount of time she spent nursing, and then realized that was why nothing else got done. There wasn't much time left in the day for more noticeable progress. But that was what she was supposed to be doing and she was "doing" something important.
Those of us with perfectionist tendencies  , if that's you, have a harder time with times like these in our lives.
And on those days when my to do list is breathe in, breathe out, everything else is gravy. I have just become superwoman by doing some laundry.
God Bless,
Anita
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Willa
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3881
|
| Posted: July 15 2009 at 4:32pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Six weeks is almost the worst because the expectation is that you will be completely recovered and it's just not always so, especially when you have a large family and lots of duties! It's so easy to start noticing all the things not getting done and feel that they "should" be happening.
I know from experience that when the Bible promises that I can do all things through Christ, it means all things that are needful, not that I am failing Him if my toilets are not constantly sparkly. I think He uses some of these busy seasons to refine our temperaments and help us with our priorities.
A baby is the best unit study or extracurricular activity EVER -- honestly -- I think my kids learned more in the baby days than they do now, even though at the time I often thought they were just being "scrambled up" as Mrs Pepper says in the Five Little Peppers.
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: July 15 2009 at 4:38pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thank you all so much. I guess more than even school or cleaning is finding the time for my children. I struggle to take the littles to the playground and read them a couple of picture books a day. My tweens are always trying to get time with me and talk and play games. I need to spend time with my almost teen drawing her out and get her talking. Sometimes I would just like to retreat to the silence of my bedroom and nurse the precious little girl. As for my husband...bless him... I don't make our date nights when our children are in bed now...just fall asleep putting the children to bed and don't come down again for the evening.
Not meaning to whine..just trying to pep myself up. And trying not to think about the fact that apart from my rising 9th grader - I have no plans and no school materials ordered.
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: July 15 2009 at 4:40pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
anitamarie wrote:
Marilyn:
You've been on my heart since I read your post.
One, something Kimberly Hahn said in a talk, "To be a mother is to always be failing at something. The house is clean, but the kids are a wreck. The laundry's caught up but there's no dinner. The schoolwork is done, but everyone is miserable." Something to that effect. Even she has those times.
Also, a friend of mine did a quick calculation of the amount of time she spent nursing, and then realized that was why nothing else got done. There wasn't much time left in the day for more noticeable progress. But that was what she was supposed to be doing and she was "doing" something important.
Those of us with perfectionist tendencies , if that's you, have a harder time with times like these in our lives.
God Bless,
Anita |
|
|
Thank you for your kindness - all the above resonates with me. (especially the perfectionist thing  ) Right now I am happy to just get out my pjs, say prayers, get the kitchen cleaned up and throw in a load of laundry before lunch.
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Martha
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 25 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2291
|
| Posted: July 15 2009 at 6:10pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
No. It is not possible to do it all.
Take a semester or even an entire yeAr off of EXTRAcurriculars.
Eat lots of salad and sandwiches fresh fruit and veggies. It's quick. Easy. Fairly healthy.
Do what matters MOST. Let god and others do the rest.
Remember always:
good enough IS good enough
if it isn't import - it is not important
nearly every nation and culture outside the USA gives mothers a lot more postpartum time. Give yourself at least another 2 - 6 weeks.
__________________
Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mackfam
Board Moderator
Non Nobis
Joined: April 24 2006
Location: Alabama
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 14656
|
| Posted: July 15 2009 at 6:35pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Ecclesiastes 3:1
Quote:
| For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven... |
|
|
Yes, Marilyn, you can do it all...you can do everything God intended you to accomplish for Him in this season. And that's it.
Matthew 11:29-30 (emphasis mine)
Quote:
| Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. |
|
|
Let those words wash over you, Marilyn and give yourself permission to let go of anything that He has not given you for this season.
When I'm feeling overwhelmed I sometimes spin myself up frantically trying to go through a mental checklist of everything that must be done and it becomes like one of those Chinese finger traps. Have you ever seen one of those? You put your fingers in and pull and pull and the harder you pull the more stuck you are. Yet, if you would simply gently pull back your fingers come right out.
Just be as gentle on yourself as you're trying to be with the children. You would never ask this much of them all at once. One big thing at a time. Don't take on the extra burden of worrying about lesson plans, that is not what God has yoked you with right now, His yoke for you is in your arms, and it is light and easy. Rest right there and don't get up until He says so! Allow yourself to be joyful right where He has placed you. His timing in all things is PERFECT!
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
florasita
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 06 2007
Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 907
|
| Posted: July 15 2009 at 7:31pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I'm with Willa on this one when I read your post I thought right away about expectation .
It is sometimes enough to keep it together on regular days never mind having had a baby 
I remember after my 4th was born a dear friend brought me over these beautifully made up craft baskets for the older kids then 2-10 yrs. It was a lovely idea however the help I had at the time were my single sister who was merely a student back then and my mother who seemed to repeatedly wash my dishes over and over again . They did not watch or help with the children at all and the kids got ahold of these craft baskets and I two weeks after having the baby was frantic because there were literally sparkles and glue , buttons etc. all over the house ! I felt completely overwhelmed and had the expectation I had and needed to clean it all up . It was impossible . I had to just slow down spend time with kids eating meals together taking walks and I left the cleaning behind until I had energy to deal one room at a time . have a feeling it may have been two more yrs for all I know
Later when we had #5 we had friends who borught food , helped clean etc. but before that our yrs were basically just us trying to keep it together as best we could .Try not to put expection into the picture . Health , good food , rest , outdoors , church a bit of laundry inbetween . practical goals nothing to high in the sky
__________________
May I rise & rest with words of Gratitude on my Breath
May I have the Heart & Mind of a Child in my Depth
May I forever remember to be a Light
May Peace Love & Hope be My Sight
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bookswithtea
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: July 16 2009 at 8:24am | IP Logged
|
|
|
A wise mother from this community shared with me after ds #6 was born when I expressed similar feelings in an email. She said that this feeling is normal and it often hits after child 5 or 6, depending on the mother's situation. She told me to get off all sugar, take good supplements, to get outside in nature, and to lower my expectations for everything else, slow down, and enjoy my children.
She was right (thank you, dear friend...you know who you are). I'm so glad she told me that it was normal.
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Martha in VA
Forum Pro
Joined: Nov 15 2006
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 496
|
| Posted: July 16 2009 at 9:25am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Bookswithtea wrote:
A wise mother from this community shared with me after ds #6 was born when I expressed similar feelings in an email. She said that this feeling is normal and it often hits after child 5 or 6, depending on the mother's situation. She told me to get off all sugar, take good supplements, to get outside in nature, and to lower my expectations for everything else, slow down, and enjoy my children.
She was right (thank you, dear friend...you know who you are). I'm so glad she told me that it was normal. |
|
|
Boy, did I EVER need to hear this. Marilyn, be assured of my prayers. Many days I feel like I'm drowning here. I'm sure it has MUCH to do with unrealistic expectations on myself. Big hugs to you.
Martha in VA
__________________
Blessed wife & mom to
4dds,miracle son 4/09, 2 in heaven
My Conversion Blog
Our Family Blog
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: July 16 2009 at 9:59pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
This is one of my favorite quotes because it's so applicable to being a wife/mom
Quote:
| "Now, HERE, you see, it takes all the running YOU can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!" - Alice Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll |
|
|
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Sharyn
Forum Pro
Joined: June 20 2009
Location: Australia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 417
|
| Posted: July 17 2009 at 7:31am | IP Logged
|
|
|
MarilynW wrote:
| ..being a good wife, mothering, cooking, cleaning, praying, homeschooling, activities, etc etc etc. I know that I am six weeks postpartum and very very tired - but I am feeling overwhelmed. |
|
|
I had my 5th baby 10 weeks ago and I'm feeling exactly like you. During pregnancy you often have to side line many projects until baby's born and so once this happens you think to yourself, okay time to really get stuck in and do things. The reality I have found for me anyway is that there is a gradual shift in what you are able to do up until they are about one year old.
Little babies take up so much time, but it is a brief and wonderful time. There's nothing good that doesn't require some kind of sacrifice with it.
You can always tell when we are expecting a guest as I race about trying to clean the bathroom and toilet before they arrive There seem to be endless things that need doing. I'm wondering when our walls got so dirty
But I have chosen a few thing that have been driving me nuts and fixed them up. It took me a while longer to achieve than if I didn't have a little bub but they are done now and it has helped to make me feel a little better. But I have also been enjoying the 'little things' which these types of moments always remind me are actually the 'big' things.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Stacy Y
Forum Newbie
Joined: April 24 2009
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 31
|
| Posted: July 17 2009 at 5:09pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Bookswithtea wrote:
| She told me to get off all sugar, take good supplements, to get outside in nature, and to lower my expectations for everything else, slow down, and enjoy my children. |
|
|
Do you mind sharing the supplements that work well for you? I welcomed baby number five 6 months ago and I still feel like I'm struggling to get back on my feet! Thanks, Stacy
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
|
| Posted: July 17 2009 at 5:48pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
God bless you at 6 weeks postpartum! That's a tough adjustment time...like I'm coming out of the baby fog and seeing my environment and schedule anew without fuzzy love goggles on - not pretty .
Quote:
| Is it possible to do it all??!! |
|
|
Not for me. That was easy .
Quote:
| "I can do all things through Christ" |
|
|
Yes. I can do all the things that Christ wants me to do today...which may not be exactly what *I* thought/planned/hoped I would do today.
I just try to stick to our highest priorities, deal with challenges that arise, don't go looking for trouble, and enjoy life as best as I can given my circumstances each day. Hard work for sure.
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
knowloveserve
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 31 2007
Location: Washington
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 759
|
| Posted: July 21 2009 at 5:54pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Just wanted to say this was good to read for me right now; thank you.
4 weeks post-partum here and feeling it. Motivation is so low... hormones so high... house is a wreck... could cry every day if I let myself.
"A season for all things..."
This too shall pass.
__________________
Ellie
The Bleeding Pelican
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
10 Bright Stars
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 16 2006
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 728
|
| Posted: July 22 2009 at 1:00pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Congrats on the new little bundle! Short answer to your question: No, you cannot do it all.
Longer answer: No, you cannot do it all and do anything well. Slow down and do the priority things very well, the next priority things down, fairly well, and the lowest priority things as best you can. Everything in balance. You are only one person. Just enjoy the baby for now and the kids. I like to take time in the afternoons when everyone is tired to write down plans/ideas etc. Nursing the baby and resting, you could write down rough ideas for the school year to plan out further after you are fully recovered.
I would say top priority things are:
- taking care of yourself, husband, new baby and kids. (obviously)
- making sure meals are on the table
-menu planning/meal planning (and, can your husband run to the store for you right now if there is a nice, organized list?)This is something you can work on while nursing/resting.
Next priority would be:
- laundry,
- general tidy kept up. (kids helping)
-deeper school scheduling/planning
Last priority:
-threshing out a new "life plan" to tackle how you will drive everyone to their activities this school year (since you mentioned that worrying you) Some things might need to get cut. With each new child there has to be a new routine I have found.
-deeper school planning/purchase materials
-organizing classroom on the weekends while husband "soaks up"/rests with the new baby.
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Is it possible to do it all??!!
